Han, Leia, don't forget to name your only son after me, even though we barely interacted, I am a good friend

>MWAAAHHHHH! Luke, did I ever tell you about Paul Masson? The Corellian starpilots have always been renowned for their excellence. There is a Corellian starpilot who gave his life for the republic. And like all good friends, he was captured by the empire and fermented in carbonite. Did I mention he was vintage dated? .....Luke?

>Luke, did I ever tell you that we're actually in hell?

WAIT

KYLO IS LUKES SON

No, Hans

Why did Luke name his daughter Rey?

>Luke, did I ever tell you that I actually hated Star Wars movies and working with Lucas? He was a good friend

Because everybody loves Rey, since she's a mary sue.

>Look did i ever tell you the story of a generic droid more powerful than a Jedi ?

for you

>Luke, did I ever tell you they got me on some new medication, it makes me salivate? I have this new medication they put me on. It makes me salivate.

>Also don't forget to use my fake name that I hid under on a desert planet, quite a glorious title isn't it?

Luke did I ever tell you Jedi can run at the speed of sound?

>Luke, did ever tell you that It was Shnoke, he sheduced our shon?

kyloren doesn't sound anything like obiwan

They are both named Ben, user.

Jedi superspeed first showed up in ESB.
>Luke flying out of the carbonite pit at lightning speed

Luke, did I ever tell you, you can cut through them like butter? They're actually pretty useless. And they were gonna be great, they were gonna be great, the were gonna be great, they were gonna be great, they were gonna be great...

Anakin, did I ever tell you that I'm 30 years old and I'm still a padawan?

They should have named him this! youtube.com/watch?v=Nt95ZrjKqtk

No they named him ''Ben'' which I can not understand the connection.How the fuck Ben is similar to Obi Wan?

>I'm 30 years old
(not true, by the way)

According to Wookiepedia Obi-Wan in Episode 1 was 3 years older than Anakin when he turned into Vader

please be mememememmeeing

foreigner and dead serious

>Luke, did I ever tell you I'm a bitter old drunk? I was in Lawrence of Arabia once, before the dark times. Alcohol is a good friend.

Luke did I ever tell you about Jizz?

NO IT'S HIS SECRET SON

>I killed my father!
>No, I am your father!
>That's not true uncle luke! That's impossible!

Get woke you dumb nigger

I was always a bit confused why Lucas mostly had characters to call him Ben in OT, with only a couple mentions of Obi-Wan name, but then everybody only called him Obi-Wan in prequels

His hermit name on Tattoine is "Old Ben Kenobi". So basically O.B. Kenobi.

Fucking stupid, you'd think he drop the Kenobi part first and go with "Obi Wan Nasuckmydick" or something"

please let their be a wookiepedia site
please let their be a wookiepedia site
please let their be a wookiepedia site

I bet Han wanted his kid to be named Chad or Tyler, not Ben. No wonder kid turned out to be a failure

>Luke, hello to my old friend, Chewbacca, say.

Luke, did i ever tell yo about breasts? Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species and some reptomammals, and were normally a distinguishing feature of the female of the species. Males did have breasts, but they were far less developed than their female counterparts due to the sexual dimorphism.
Breasts are a good friends.
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast/Legends

...

Not to mention Luke's last name was Skywalker and he lived with Anakin's stepbrother

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jizz

It had a chicken head with duck feet, and a woman's face too.

And he was a good Jizzer.

>Legends

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I saw a security recording of your father killing children with that lightsaber I gave you?

So why Leia hugged Rey and not Chewie after Han's death? Is she secretly aware that Rey is mary sue and wants to tell that to audience?

>children
>children
>children

>right as chewie walks past her

that was the stupidest thing in this piece of shit movie

Chewie just lost his life partner and had to shoot his nephew in the gut because leia was being a cunt

They haven't even met until this point. They are a total strangers to each other

younglings you dumb ass

Luke, did I ever tell you about my half brother Yuri? He was a poet and doctor during the Russian Revolution while I was a patsy for the Communist party. He secretly fathered an illegitimate daughter with his childhood crush who was then sent off to die in a labor camp while he lived the life of a beggar. I discovered his daughter, my niece, years later and tell her the story of her mother and father yet neglect to mention to her that these are in fact her parents because I'm truly the source of all their misery. He was a good friend.

I like how both EU and Episode 7 largely ignored issue of Leia having force powers and becoming a jedi too, despite it being major point in Lucas's own fucking movies, at least in EU she wasn't still resistance leader 30 years after episode 6

but the force

This. The only hint TFA gives that Leia uses the force at all is when she reacts like Obi-Wan after Han dies.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the remaining Jedi's plan to wait out this war while the resistance had to fight and die for many years until one day Leia asked me to come save her from your father so that you can learn how to use the force to fire proton torpedoes into the 2 meter sized shaft of the empire's biggest space station?

>You're a good friend

If Mary Sue is Luke's son then why has he dumped her on planet full of sand?

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I saw a security hologram of your father killing younglings
>it was a good fap

She's not Luke's kid.

Leia did jack shit with the force in 4, 5 and 6. The fuck are you talking about?

If she could she wouldn't have allowed a giant black torture droid to butt fuck her, she wouldn't have allowed Alderan to be destroyed and she wouldn't have left Luke out on Hoth overnight.

The only thing Leia did in all 3 movies was bitch and give an Ewok a graham cracker.

Skywalker family tradition

...

new hope isnt cannon anymore.

Leia is not Rey, so she is not actually master of all things jedi just because she has connection to force and they didn't have the time to train her during events of OT, but it's implied she is gonna be jedi too

what do you mean its implied shes gonna be a jedi? she becomes a powerful jedi later on unless you go by Dis "cuck" ney canon which would make your whole post moot

kek

Luke, did I ever tell you about children? Children is a term your father used to refer to the Sand People's younglings after he slaughtered them like animals.

Of all the things you could have said you chose to use the stupidest logic I've ever seen.

Beautiful.

You forgot letting Jabba beat that pussy up to the point no one wants that shit

...

She did killsteal Jabba before the barge exploded

>Look did I ever tell you the story of how Jedi are so lucky nobody ever thought of using primitive rapid fire projectile weapons to easily defeat us?

Modern rapid fire projectiles hadn't been invented yet, dummy.

Did it actually matter which twin skywalker was sent where?

It seems like a cointoss between obi-wan taking either, leia or luke to tatooine.

There's a reason he didn't take Leia and I think you can guess why.

Tusken Raiders use them, dumbass.

He probably wanted for girl to have easier life

>Clone Wars cartoon
>literally see clones carrying around mini guns

It was weird that they didn't slide out when they rolled and canted on that slippery floor. Their outermost layer should have been rubber or something.

Bail Organa and his wife wanted a daughter. That's it.

>rey gets sand in her vagina
>becomes the most powerful jedi that ever existed

Ben knew he couldn't control Leia if that happened to her.

Clones with mini guns were actually in Episode 3, though maybe they shot blaster shots and not bullets

Luke, did I ever tell you about the legendary Jar Jar Binks? He was a fearsome warrior and a master political negotiator. And he was a good friend.

If you're familiar with the EU then I know for a fact you've seen stupider logic.

>that episode of CW where Jar Jar gets a waifu
That show was all over the fucking place.

>Luke did i ever tell you about poleman, nobody knew how he got up there and he was a good friend

Fuck I just realized that's why Kylo is called Ben. Ben is such a fucking gay name.

>Oh and once he convinced everyone in the senate to give the Emperor political power over the entire galaxy. You know, I'm not exactly sure why he did that, in hindsight making retarded gungans senators probably isn't a good idea lol
>And he was a good friend

me on the left

>"Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend."

It retracts.

Do you like her?

Every time

He controls the pole to go up and down, and when he wants to get off, he brings it down as low as it can go into a hole so he can just climb out of it onto the ground.

its a Heeb name

My name is Ben and I have no Heeb. The names Ben and Luke just represent the Old and the New (Testament).

Ben knew his time was up and that Luke might pull it off. The name Leia I have no fucking clue.

Luke, did I ever tell you that there's always a bigger fish? Always. I mean every goddamn time. Just when you think you've discovered the largest fish I'm telling you forget it, asshole. There's a bigger one. You think you know the biggest fish an ecosystem, nay, a planet's food chain could possibly sustain? Well you're wrong, fucko. There's a bigger one. Always.

you gone?

how big is the force?

I don't think it goes underground, there's probably a platform with a few steps 3 or 4 feet off the ground.

It's strange. After they escape Death Star Luke is crying like a little bitch over the death of some old guy he knew for less then a day.
Meanwhile Leia had her home, her friends and her whole fucking planet blown to shit and she's comforting Luke.

Luke, did I ever mention your father built C-3PO to help your mother do chores? Too bad it can't straighten it's arms or bend at the waist or knees or come into contact with water. Did I mention it's neurotic personality was all his doing too? He was a good friend.

good relations with the wookies have i

>Luke, I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. I'm in hell, Luke. I'm BURNING IN HELL FOREVER

She was a big girl

>space ghost

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time that the negotiations were short?

>You will go to the Dagobah system. There you will learn from Yoda, one of the many many Jedi Masters who instructed me. That's correct, we had no mystical relationship or bond. I had him for 3rd period in Jedi school right before lunch. He handed out mini helmets and lightsabers and butchered Jedi sayings with his retarded way of talking. A good friend, he was.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Ewan McGregors giant shiny face moles they covered up with makeup?

>Rey, did I ever tell you about the New Republic? They were founded from the Rebellion me, my sister and Han were a part of. Even though it's political leaders were around during the time of the Old Republic, they somehow managed to make a government even MORE bureaucratic. It got so bad they had to secretly fund a second rebellion just to stop the First Order from blowing them up with the third Death Star, which they failed to.

>They were dumb friends.

You can disable their force fields by doing a double jump attack

>TFA has the same level of plot holes before the opening scene that it took three movies to retcon into New Hope

BRAVO ABRAMS

Captain, did I ever tell you about the time I fucked Chief of security, Lieutenant Tasha Yar, who was subsequently killed off only some 20 episodes later?
She was a good friend.

A daring synthesis.

So if Jedi are easily killed by slugthrower shotguns, why not equip a whole battalion of soldiers with them and have them just go to town as Jedi assassins?

what does Cred Forums think of the "Jar Jar is a Sith Lord" theory?

That's fucking dumb
my headcanon says the clone wars lasted a good 10 years

>disrespecting Dexterr Jettster
you can get the FUCK out of here, user

>luke, did i ever tell you about that time i saw security recording of your father killing highly dangerous brainwashed traitorous child soldiers with that lightsaber i gave you?

>Luke, did anyone ever tell you why the republic funded satellite army is called the resistance? They are funded by those in power and the remnants of the empire, who seemed to start a new empire in the unknown space are actually the rebels resisting the republic aggression in this situation.
>I am a confused friend

Yeah, same.

>with that lightsaber i gave you?

wrong

>breasts were retconned

September 1, 1939 – September 2, 1945

>"Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend."

>m8 reply to the post i replied to son

I remember you....

All you need to do to block a bullet is "push" them away with the force or have them hit a "wall", similar to what Vader did in 5, except with the slugs being solid and not dissipating, you can redirect them at the enemy.

She was a human female.

Younglings you dickhead. Now go punch yourself

>All you need to do to block a bullet is "push" them away with the force or have them hit a "wall", similar to what Vader did in 5, except with the slugs being solid and not dissipating, you can redirect them at the enemy.
I get the sense that doing this isn't exactly easy, since Jedi seem pretty scared of slugthrowers on the whole, much moreso than typical blasters

T-T-Thanks. Now I can never watch this again without reading this in my head. So much for my comfy cool breezy rainy day star wars marathon.

why didn't Obi Want just finish Anakin off on Mustafar?

cause he was a colossal puss

because Anakin was a good fucking friend ffs

This made me lol for some reason

Take the greatest Jedi Knight, strip away the Force, and what remains? They rely on it, depend on it, more than they know. Watch as one tries to hold a blaster, as they try to hold a lightsaber, and you will see nothing more than a woman – or a man. A child.

Anakin was lucky though, he wasn't a full blown sith lord yet
because sith lords are Obi Wan's speciality!

Well yeah, just look at Rey.

...

>She was a human female.

huh?

...

Remember that time when I was inferior to the original game in every way? I am a bad sequel

So how did Jar Jar canonically, or should I say legendarily, die? He must have witnessed the rise of the Empire.

>Luke did I ever tell you about the time we picked up a retarded hitchhiker?
>Luke did I ever tell you about the time that retarded hitchhiker got elected to the galactic senate?
>Luke did I ever tell you that it proposed sweeping legislation that ended the 1000+ year old republic?
>it was a bad friend

>Cred Forums star wars newfags

It's part of wookie mourning phases. You're not supposed to interact with them

frozen in carbonite, it was in one of the games

Isn't Ray obi-wans daughter?

'Cause its "Yer" spelled backwards. As in "Yer a massive faggot"

Are we really sure he's not Luke and Leia's son?

>Luke, this is your Father's lightsaber. He wanted you to have it when you were old enough. By the way you know C3PO over there? Well, he was also your father's. He made him with his own hands at just 8 years old. He probably wanted you to have him too when you were old enough. By the way you know R2D2? I've actually known him for years, he saved my ass, and your father and mother, when we were trying to escape Naboo. By the way, did I ever tell you about Jettster Dexter? He was a good friend.

With applause

does someone have the JarJar Imagine pasta?

so if Vader's suit was a piece of clunky garbage, how come he never bothered upgrading?

The emperor purposely made it a piece of shit to put Vader in constant pain which would make him tap into the dark side or some shit

>I sense something, a presence I haven't felt since
What did he mean by this

budgetary restraints

do you think you become the emperor of the galaxy by wasting money on cripples?

that still doesn't explain why he didn't acquire a new one with all of his cash and "if you don't do what I want I'll kill you immediately" attitude

especially since he was probably gud enough to design one himself

Because it needed to be weak to the Emperor's force lightning so that he could die.
Plot armour, literally.

Fairly sure there's something about it all being too ridiculously painful to deal with.

...

Underrated

Caspere knew this.

Which doesn't make sense with the Rule of Two. As a Sith, Palpatine should want his student to be powerful enough to overthrow him. But then again Sheev did kill his own master in his sleep before he learned his secret of creating life, meaning he was already breaking the meaning of the rule. How insidious of him.

>Palpatine should want his student to be powerful enough to overthrow him.
Nah, he was doing his own thing.
They were planning on full immortality.

Remember the cloning planet Kamino?
Sheev pinched the schematics and had an assload of bodies built.
Then there's a whole lot of fucking shenanigans, but that's another story
My point is, Sheev was just using Vader as a means to an end, he's a fucking dick.

Besides, Sheev has proven to not care about the Rule of Two.
He was training Maul alongside Dooku.
Rule of Two mean there's only one master and one apprentice.

Kek

Luke did I ever tell you I went trainspotting once.

It was clear that's what Lucas was going for but he pussied out and retconned it himself. Would've been the greatest tweest in cinema history.

>Do or do not, there is no try.
>ONLY A SITH DEALS IN ABSOLUTES!
youtube.com/watch?v=7SqTR0DorSw

Sounds like you never tried TSLRCM

>rule of two
>rules
they're more, shall we say, "guidelines"

>Look out out for those narrative voices in your head, Rey! Did I ever tell you about a former mentor of mine named Obi-Wan Kenobi? He was a Jedi master that became one with the force after being decapitated in a duel with my father, Darth Vader. Yes, you heard me correctly. Vader was my father, but he was actually a good friend without his mask on. Obi Wan had it coming after chopping his limbs off and leaving him to die in a volcano many years ago. He then took my father's lightsaber and gave it to me almost two decades later under the assumption that he would've wanted me to have it. In fact, it's the very lightsaber you're holding in front of me right now. It was one of the many ways Obi Wan would warp the basic language with his point of view in order to justify his agendas. He now has the ability to communicate with the living at his own convenience and without warning. He was a fucking asshole.

Complete with jar jar actually speaking proper articulate English and it was all and act.

Then again, might have been great having him still talk like a fuckwit. Just go full hammy with it all

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time your father put on the mask? It was after he crashed the Jedi Order with no survivors. After that, he went to Mustafar, the hideout of the remaining Separatists and brought about their reckoning. We then had a duel to the death where I got the high ground and cut off his legs before throwing him into the lava. His body started the fire, and it rose until it burnt even his face. It was extremely painful, as it caused him to scream that he hated me even more than he hated sand. He was a big friend.

because sand is course, rough, and it gets everywhere

Rey is Luke's daughter, right?

Just realised

>Obi-Wan was dead by this point and never met poleman

Feels bad man, I mean poleman

there are people that use guns to kill jedi, but they're highly specialized because "slugthrowers" are objectively inferior to blasters in all other cases

But kilo's name is "Ben" not Obi?

his brother was a literal cuck

plebe detected

It's because the suit was made in 1976 out of cheap parts lying around the set

Stop trying to internally justify it, that's what wookiepedia autists try to do

>for you

...

so what the fuck is the story behind the giga-death star that the nu-Empire built in TFA?

It was easier than coming up with an original story even though they destroyed hundreds of good stories just so that their new bullshit is the only stuff that matters and could have easily just used one of those, fucking retards.

>just realized Vader could mean "Father" in a germanic language

BRAVO LUCAS

nice meme

also in-VADER

lucas really was a poet

It's coincedence, don't fall for Lucas's lies, watch Episode 4 and notice how Vader is less important character than fucking Tarkin

the new story is that Snoke is Jar Jar

>You will go to the Dagobah system. There you will learn from Yoda, who is BFF with Chewbacca.

can a lightsaber stop a bullet?

seems like it wouldn't be able to deflect it like a blaster bolt, at best it could melt it but that seems unlikely

I think it was more of a "thanks for saving our lives" gesture.

I thought his name Kylo Ren

I think blocking shots with a lightsaber involves the force besides just figuring out where exactly its going.

>that picture
Ben?

Q U I N T S
U
I
N checked
T
S

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the black guy carrying a strange object who was running away while Cloud City was being invaded? No one knew what that object was or why they would make an action figure out of it. And he was a good friend.

what was even the point of B-wing starfighters?

What if Rey is obi wans daughter?
Who is Reys mom? She was clearly an extra good friend

if the death star had badass deflector shields that could stop anything they didn't want coming through from impacting the station, why didn't they just turn them on to full power and watch the rebel fighter fizzle upon connecting with the shields like moths on a bug zapper?

Inferior in what ways? The dialog and RPG elements in 2 were way better than the first game.

That's not how the rule of two works though.
The master should take all the measures he can to keep his apprentice at bay.
If the apprentice still is able to overthrow the master, then he is worthy. If not, the master can choose another.

Are you sure it isn't just some more horseshit that Lucas pulled out of his ass one weekend walking home from a sushi bar and put it in his script?

I think rule of two just means that you can't have a new apprentice or master without killing your old one

>Han's best friend

Fucking implying, Han was just nice to Luke to get that sweet princess poon. I doubt they ever talked after Vader died.

So good.

Does this mean yoda was the best jedi just because he was able to teach dozens of younglings without them ever hoping to overcome him?

Is that how people become stronger in this series?

Sheev hired Dooku, who hired Jango Fett, who hired Zam Wesell, who hired droid, who hired poisonous slugs to murder Senator Amidala.

What?

how did the Millennium Falcon get on Jakku, and why did the New Republic allow it to be stolen from them?

I'm not even sure if it was ever mentioned in the movies desu. It was propably made up by some 2nd class fantasy writer.

Pretty much. The master isn't supposed to help his apprentice to overthrow himself, he's not even supposed to want that to happen.
In time however it will inevitably happen if the apprentice is powerful/focused enough.
This is how the Sith were able to stay so strong and powerful for 1000 years.

>Does this mean yoda was the best jedi just because he was able to teach dozens of younglings without them ever hoping to overcome him?
No, because he's a Jedi, not a Sith.
Even then, the Sith aren't real Sith.

jedi =! sith

Jedi don't have "rule of two", Sith backstabbed each other all the time and never got anything done, that's why one of them wiped out the rest and made an official rule that there could be no more than two Sith alive at the same time

It means Anakin is the greatest Sith because he was able to overcome an entire room of younglings

That's his meme name, his real name is Ben Solo

Well, technically he would be his uncle AND his father, in that case.

>and made an official rule that there could be no more than two Sith alive at the same time
That's not the rule of two, fuckwit.
The rule of two is just taking one apprentice at a time, not that only two Sith can ever exist at the same time.

keked

Why was Anakin even fighting younglings? What if one of them got lucky with his saber and killed him, that would be pretty embarrassing

all a part of Sidious' keikaku

Each youngling is only worth a tiny amount of force power but because he was able to kill so many of them it gave him enough experience to become Vader

Yes it is, fuckwit.

how did the SFX people actually make the lightsaber sounds?

No, his real name is PHILIP THE NIGGER

At the end of phantom menace Yoda and Mace Window are talking and they mention the rule of two.

Actually, in RotS it's established that the rule of two refers to my balls on your maw's chin.

>Two there should be; no more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it.

>starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Willrow_Hood
>it's real
I'm not even surprised at this point.

Trump meets Howard Hughes. Nice.

That makes as much sense as anything else in the prequels.

yeah, l forgot about that

Luke, did I ever tell you about battle droids? They never posed a single threat to us. They were a good enemy.

?

Kylo Ren was made out to be childishly edgy and nonthreatening on purpose, right?

what if the sith were just a phantom menace?

That's rad

All right then, take any of the Sith being shifty cunts, as they're designed to do.
The apprentice is dubbed Sith but instead of killing his master in his sleep, he fucks off to the edge of the galaxy and trains some force sensitive youngling the Sith ways and eventually grants this kid Sith-hood.
Meanwhile, old master Sith is chilling out focusing on trying to find his old apprentice to kill him.
Does he die as soon as the new kid is granted Sith-hood?

>One to embody power, the other to crave it.
Yeah, in a master and apprentice situation.
If you have multiple fighting over the power they crave, they're both weakened fighting each other.
It's a training thing, not if a third Sith exists then another instantly die.

I know Sheev was starting to do his own thing, but Dooku and Maul existed at the same time.

Ewan is gorgeous fuck off

>All right then, take any of the Sith being shifty cunts, as they're designed to do.
>The apprentice is dubbed Sith but instead of killing his master in his sleep, he fucks off to the edge of the galaxy and trains some force sensitive youngling the Sith ways and eventually grants this kid Sith-hood.
>Meanwhile, old master Sith is chilling out focusing on trying to find his old apprentice to kill him.
>Does he die as soon as the new kid is granted Sith-hood?
Rules can be broken. Your autism is showing.

He was just training Maul wrong. As a joke.

youtube.com/watch?v=qS51BMX4YNM

>Your autism is showing.
No shit, thousands of hours worth of content was thrown out of canon for a shitty movie and a halfway decent cartoon, of course it is.

fact: this is better than TFA or any of the future disney movies

youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_3146492083&feature=iv&src_vid=NuNvCOUy1Ts&v=RjG61DoDzN8

No.

kek

>implying good pasta isn't a perfect treat for that level of comf

You're correct and with how trash TOR is, that sucks to say.
The future is dark.

Pretty shitty TOR is the only legacy content being made and that's only because it's making them shekels.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about "(That Joyous Night) I Ate My Mate"? It was a hit song originally performed by Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers, as well as its later incarnation, the famous Max Rebo Band. If you ever encounter the Max Rebo Band, please respect them and allow them to finish their performance before engaging in any plot-relevant actions. Oh, and get me an autograph, too; they're good friends.

I was talking specifically about the cinematic trailers for TOR, but you are also correct, I guess

>called the "first" order
>literally everything about them is ripped off the old Galactic Empire

How are they the first in anyway?

is it true that Twi'lek head tentacle things are erogenous zones?

>Ben
Old Ben = o.b.

>did I mention that senator was your mother?

Luke, did I ever tell you about the oath of celibacy every jedi had to take?

Holy fucking mother complex in the making.

Actually Leia knew Ben and requested him by name to save her from the Death Star.
She knew to send him a message even though he was hiding on Tatooine and she even used his real name, which nobody knew.
She and Ben actually had a pretty good connection.

why didnt he give her advice as a ghost?
luke only knew him like a day or two right?

That explains everything!!!

Kylo is a super retard baby.

Fucking quality memeing there m8y

>Luke, did I ever tell you about that blue elephant? He could play a great keyboard. And he was a good friend.

Perhaps you need a strong connection to the force to see or perceive the ghosts? Notice that the ghosts only ever appear to Luke. Luke also got advice from the ghosts because he was obviously in greater need of it than Leia.

Dr. Skywalker? I'm OBWan

>oath of celibacy
That's wrong.
They're not allowed to form deep attachments, ie; falling in love.
They're allowed to fuck, in fact, due to low species numbers or some cultural bullshit and I forget exactly who it is, but one Master literally has his own harem and that's totally fine as long as he doesn't fall in love.
After all, how could they pass on their incredible midi-clorian counts?

she hears alderan explode.

also obi should have just warned them about vaders trap at the sky city ahead of time.

She watched Alderan explode.

can we just nuke star wars and start over

Luke shot people with a ray gun and he just changed one letter because he's unimaginative

No, can we nuke Disney and not make any more movies and just stick to comics, novels and not fucking horrible EA-tier vidya?

>how could they pass on their incredible midi-clorian counts?
oh god, don't remind me of that...

underrated overkek'd have a (you)

The only issue with the second is that the ending is rushed all to hell. Unfuck the ending, and it's one of the GOAT games.

OK, this is a good one

>not OB1
c'mon now

YODA NAME IS SOUNDS LIKE YOGA
WHICH IMPLY MIDDLE EASTIERRN BULLHSIT

WHICH IS ALLOWY SHY

DID I MEMNTION I"M A LITTERALY

SHHHHHOOOWWHHHHOOOORRRRR

T- I'M DIRYT DITY DITY

CUFK FUM MYEOUTH

>Luke, do you listen to Jizz? It's a good genre

Which one was it, user

grjiOWIJrgwhiobhfep0(BH'p0bhbfh"PIEhBF"BFHIP"

YOU

LOVE ME

zinger

...

>She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew!

Here is your father's light saber, Luke.
He's beheaded 30 children with it.

Is this oc? I am honestly on the floor laughing

He was in the remastered ROTJ

"Wesaa free!"

youtu.be/AiM5zEEI_Jo?t=63

At 1:03

>OP thinks its weird for a parent to name a kid after their godfather

Hahaha what the fuck.

what the fuck was lucas smoking

lucas has added plenty of dumb edits

youtube.com/watch?v=PaXgK5HRBjk

Hey, look at me, I'm a Jedi who uses a blaster and don't really give a shit about morality

He had the Force, though.

Kreia is specifically talking about when they don't have the Force.
Hell, just using a Light Saber correctly requires the use of the Force or being a cyborg, like Greivous, but that's a whole other thing

In Jedi outcast Katarn says that he's not a Jedi.

Kreia was just Chris Avellone going "DUDE THE FORCE SUCKS LMAO." And Katarn was a motherfucker without Force powers and willingly gave them up before going back to get them to fight Desann

Daily reminder that Kylo is Luke and Leia's son, that's why his face is all fucked up.

He saved their lives.

>Kreia was just Chris Avellone going "DUDE THE FORCE SUCKS LMAO."
So?
Doesn't change the fact that she was talking about most Jedi being shitcunts without the force.

>And Katarn was a motherfucker without Force powers and willingly gave them up before going back to get them to fight Desann
Shit, I don't remember any of this.
Katarn has always been a special case, like the exception to every rule.

Luke, did I ever tell you about truman pisses in the sink episodes? There were a good friend.

meta

Yeah, he fought Desann without his powers and got blown the fuck out. This combined with the fact that he was superfucking pissed that his waifu was supposedly dead made him go to the Valley of the Jedi to get his powers

>actually linking to a video that has explained in the title

no user you are the faggots

every time

More likely bail told her about this jedi he knew 20 years ago and to send him a message to help out with the rebellion.

One thing bail didn't count on: Obi aging like a grape on tatooine

Luke, Did I ever tell you about Ben Solo? Your sister who I never met and that abrasive smuggler who derided me for my religion named him after me, or rather after my false name I used to hide from the Empire. I suppose Obi-Wan was a tad too exotic. At the time I was quite happy with the misplaced honor, but it seems it pulled an Anakin, who was a good friend.

Leia knew who he was due to her father's interaction with him

>yousa must give insa to da dahk sidea

Light saber would definitely vaporize the bullet instantly, they're freakishly fucking hot

Checked

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Slugthrower
>Slugthrowers were surprisingly useful against lightsabers, as when a slug made contact with a blade, it simply melted instead of being deflected like a baster bolt.

'Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you are my only hope...'

There were two people naming the kid you moldy bag of fuck.

In the solo spin off movie we find out Solo's mentor was named Rey.

She didn't know him personally, her dad just told her stories about him