be 29 year-old Jake Gyllenhaal

> be 29 year-old Jake Gyllenhaal
> dating virgin Taylor Swift
> 9 years older than this bitch
> take virginity before her 21st birthday
> ruin it by not coming
> she's in the bathroom crying all night
> ruin Christmas too, 'cause her birthday is in December
> my birthday is too
> console myself while unwrapping my presents from my best friend Jake Gyllenhaal and watching Lethal Weapon
> still wanna be friends with Taylor so I call her and tell her to have a happy New Year
> she cries tears of happiness as I laugh before abruptly hanging up

Jake Gyllenhaal is pretty cool

Fucking Jake, what a guy.

post Jakes

...

BASED

obligatory

HOW DOES HE KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

That's pretty alpha. Taylor Swift is one of the biggest celebrities in the world, but she''ll never forget this man destroying her.

You sound psychotic, good job.

>> be 29 year-old Jake Gyllenhaal
>my presents from my best friend Jake Gyllenhaal
is Jake Gyllenhaal lonely?

> psychotic
I guess you could always say you were only pretending to be retarded

kek

Remembered this and spent an hour looking for it

I don't regret it

taylor swift isnt attractive though.

Cred Forums- TMZ

Based Jake "The Snake" does it again!

they all look the fucking same

>Sweaty palms
Dudes, I think we've finally found our guy.

I'm copping "Jake the Snake"

Redpill time:

all these guys except Mayer are gay.

thats what I was thinking. kek

Taylor turned them all gay?

>never even kissed her
Is Taylor Lotner our guy?

kill yourself you fucking piece of human garbage

> too short

Relax, I'm just breaking your balls a little.

I remember he said that whenever he gets a role he thinks about which hand the character would masturbate with.
Which of his characters goes with which hand?

Lou Bloom is definitely a double hander

why the fuck wasn't he the Joker bros???

he's a fag.
also
>virgin taylor swift

I need this

...

That's a pretty good Jake, user.

Do you mind if I save it?

...

Of course

What a fucking madman. Is he our guy?

...

>20yo Tay
>virgin
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

absolutely

What a whore

Jesus Christ

Is Taylor Swift the biggest whore in the industry??

>cheering for the kike that shemed against the aryan qt
>believing kike media
>claiming TayTay lost her virginity
>to a kike of all species
>pretending he didn't leave because she stayed a virgo
I want kikeddit to leave

Why do you take personal satisfaction at Jake being a dick?

...

>redditors thinking gossip mags are real

So is Jake a top or a bottom?

Power bottom?

explain?

DC can't cast for shit

Was this the bad guy from Uncharted 4?

MADMAN
A
D
M
A
N

Best Jake

>too short
>awkward
Is Joe "our guy"?

>she thinks they might get back together once he's had some more life experience

what

Is that why you posted this pic on Cred Forums earlier today jake? Can you post more?

What the fuck is wrong with women?