Han, did I ever tell you how we saved you from Jabba the Hutt...

Han, did I ever tell you how we saved you from Jabba the Hutt? We sent a rich politician away to go undercover as a mob boss grunt for like a week, I guess no imperial agents noticed him missing. Could have also been easily recognized by someone in Jabba's posse (Boba Fett for instance) and killed. We also sent in our strongest warrior as a prisoner, even though he might just be instantly destroyed. I also sent in our droids as a cheap gift, totally unequal to your life. I also put my only weapon inside on of the droids, on the off-chance you might be on a barge in the middle of the desert and the droid might be in a position to shoot my lightsabre to me. If Jabba accepted my offer, then I would have lost my lightsabre forever. I also sent my sister in disguised as a bounty hunter, to pretty much openly threaten Jabba with a grenade for some reason. Finally, I went in myself completely unarmed, to attempt to use a cheap trick on Jabba. It didn't work and I was almost killed by a Rancor. We were all captured, but we were all shipped out into the middle of the desert, where everyone was perfectly placed to help me rescue you. Luckily, no-one was killed or even harmed before we got to the desert, or the whole thing wouldn't have worked. You are a good friend.

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But the plan worked, from a certain point of view.

it was incredibly risky and convoluted. if the Plan C was just to kill all his henchmen and assassinate Jabba, surely there was an easier way to do it that didn't involve giving up your only weapon

I don't think life under hutt rule was even that bad. We didn't see a single negative thing happen to anyone except some slave women. And even then we never saw where they came from, they could have been would be assassins like leia

>The force told him that it would all work

Don't forget that they waited two years to rescue even though they knew exactly where he was being taken

>We sent a rich politician away to go undercover as a mob boss grunt for like a week, I guess no imperial agents noticed him missing.

Lando joined the rebellion at the end of Episode V. That's why he's part of the military in Episode VI.

Remember that all Jedi have a certain amount of precognition that allows them to get away with insanely silly shit. Their whole religion is based around the idea that their God will basically look out for them and things will work out in the end. Sometimes it's very minor (Obi-Wan catching Anakin's lightsaber that he couldn't have possibly seen in mid-air), sometimes it's a huge deal (Palpatine's entire plan in the prequels). Luke was somewhere in the middle here.

We need more like this and the Bounty Hunter pasta

fuck off, lukes plan was way more convoluted than sheevs.

Sheev's plan was so ridiculously convoluted and based on luck that the only explanation is that he could see the future. Look at the beginning of episode iii alone (one tiny step in a plan that took decades):

>planned his own kidnapping
>the separatists didn't manage to escape
>anakin won the fight with Dooku
>Dooku didn't reveal the truth even though he had plenty of time
>Anakin agreed to kill Dooku
>Obi-Wan was unconscious and was unable to prevent it
>Nobody died when the windows on the bridge broke
>they all somehow survived the landing

>the only explanation is that he could see the future
Which is canon in ESB and RotJ.

Dooku didn't know Sheev was Palpatine.

...

>Han, did I ever tell you about the Jedi. They're real and so is the force. I've seen them do incredible things. In fact, my good friend Yoda was the leader of the Jedi. We fought together during the Clone Wars and he was a good friend.

>it happened no longer than 20 years ago actually

Reminder that Ziro the Hutt is canon
youtube.com/watch?v=8GGP7pgCyAc

>Luke. You will go to the Dagobah-system. There you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi master who instructed me.
>Where the fuck is the Dagobah-system?
>Luke. You will go to the Coruscant-system. There you will learn from Dexter Jettster, the owner of a 1950's-style bar, who knows a lot about obscure star-systems the location of Dagobah. He was a good friend.

Umm, guys, I can't find the Batman for you plane scene....I'm scared...

Sheev's plan relies on so many people working against their interests that the only way it worked is because Palpatine must have been mind controlling the entire galaxy.

Did Luke tap that Leia when Han was away? Remember they didn't know they were related until halfway through ROTJ.

Plus she was emotionally vulnerable after Empire.

Then why didn't he know Luke would tell him to fuck off and that Vader would chuck him down a pit? Checkmate Sitheists

Don't question Luke.

ANOTHER HAPPY LANDING!

luke used to be so cute omg

Kek

That's good.

RotJ sucked

Lando is a politician?

no, contrabandist

There was also a Hutt that was a jedi in the EU

It was really all just to get Leia in that outfit. Luke is a real perv.

>Not even addressing Mama the Hutt
youtube.com/watch?v=0zCLeEntvgs

This. Growing up in Tattooine and hearing all the crazy shit Jabba would allegedly do from his friends at Tosche station, Luke devised the ultimate plan to get Leia to show her ankles (and then some).