Meant to be TFA

>Meant to be TFA
>1 hour insulting the prequels again

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=9PCAPj4CkFM
youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3tj2w2/i_just_watched_all_six_movies_after_many_years_of/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/24hkra/sick_of_excessive_star_wars_prequel_bashing/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3o8xwh/rant_why_i_like_the_prequels_more/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/2okafq/do_the_prequels_get_more_hate_than_they_deserve/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3equef/what_did_you_like_about_the_prequels/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3q75k3/why_we_shouldnt_hate_the_prequels_that_much/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/2k27ik/can_we_please_get_some_prequel_love_in_here/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/srslj/the_best_things_about_the_prequel_trilogy/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/31y016/thoughts_on_the_prequels/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3lt66n/what_is_your_favourite_thing_about_the_prequels/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/2ef1pr/what_did_the_prequels_do_right/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/2mm6fo/fans_of_starwars_that_prefer_the_prequels_what_is/
reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/1kql2p/who_actually_enjoyed_the_prequels/
reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2asedx/what_did_you_like_about_the_star_wars_prequels/
reddit.com/r/movies/comments/1wql13/whats_something_you_actually_like_about_the_star/
reddit.com/r/movies/comments/35vgbn/which_of_the_star_wars_prequels_was_the_best/
reddit.com/r/movies/comments/3won8k/fans_of_the_star_wars_prequels_separate_or_as_a/
reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2djt5b/what_are_some_things_the_star_wars_prequel_films/
reddit.com/r/movies/comments/3ytvlr/discussion_the_star_wars_prequels_are_not_as_bad/
reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2vauhq/just_watched_all_6_star_wars_movies_feel_like
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You just now realised he is an angry, fat fanboy obsessed with the prequels?

It clearly says "a review of The Force Awakens and much much more", retard

>>Meant to be TFA
But it's not.

He was paid off by Disney right? He could have decimated The Force Awakens just like he did the prequels but instead he pretty much just glanced over it.

He just has developed shit taste. If the prequels came out today (but with modern effects obviously) he'd probably think they were okay.

Like it or not, if he would have taken a massive shit on it, it would have went viral, had articles written about it, and gave their channel a big boost. It's not like the movie is some untouchable masterpiece, if he wanted to he easily could have shredded it.

THis is the most autistic statement I've ever heard.

Not as autistic as your devotion to a youtube channel.

He didn't dare to shit on The Farce Awakens because his main demographic (Reddit) still loves the movie. Give it another five years when popular opinion swings around. Then you'll see the proper review. Meanwhile, he just had to go back to something he knows his audience loves, bashing the omg so stupid prequel movies.

I actually find it admirable how he is able to nit-pick the very cells of the prequels while somehow being completely ignorant of massive plot holes and character inconsistincies in TFA. If that's not shady, I don't know what is.

>ass blasted prequels fan still has sore bottom

>He didn't dare to shit on The Farce Awakens because his main demographic (Reddit) still loves the movie.
Pretty sure he didn't shit on it because he thought it was a decent movie.

YOUSSA NO THINKIN YOUSSA BETTER THAN DE GUNGAS?

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSA LIIIKE DIIIIS

So it's cognitive dissonance then? The way he shat on the prequels for the smallest flaw, he sure was forgiving as fuck with far greater sins present in TFA.

Because there is nothing to say about TFA.

It only introduced the new characters, the new villains and started the purge of the old characters to accommodate the new lore. It really has nothing on about it.

Do the test, ask one of your friends who have seen it what they think about it and I'm sure they will say the same, that it was great and they are looking forward the next episode instead of pointing out what actually made it great.

It's pandering. He takes the general vibe of the fandom and runs with it. Hence he worships the original trilogy, vilifies the prequel trilogy, and is fond of but general apathetic about TFA.

LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF

SMOKE A JOINT

AND FIND JAMAICAN PEACE

He nitpicked the prequels for fun. His main problems with the prequels are the core elements (story structure, lack of protagonist, etc), which are elements that pulled down TFA (in Mike's opinion of course)

Did you pay attention to the title?

It's "The Star Wars Awakens", not "Star Wars The Force Awakens Review". Upgrade your brain, moron.

TFA is a better movie.

The thing is, you could rip apart ANY movie in a Plinkett style if you really wanted to. The "smaller flaws" that Plinkett points out in the prequel reviews aren't really the main point of the prequel reviews. There are large, gaping structural and technical problems with them. If you honestly think TFA is as bad as the prequels on the fundamental elements of filmmaking, you might as well not watch movies at all.

Ok. Then tell us why he ignored massive story flaws in TFA then? The movie was a complete mess and was obviously desperately patched together in editing. You don't have to nitpick to see the flaws in TFA. You can see it everywhere. It's in its core. The whole thing stinks Disney executives focus-testing.

Did you even watch the prequel reviews? He clearly states that not picking aside the prequels failed to create a real emotional connection to the audience like the originals did. He recognizes all he's doing is nit picking but gives a real reason at the end.

I'm disappointed that he didn't mention the fact that Rey is one huge Mary sue with no character flaws or real growth.

Why did he let that one slip by? He was already mentioning how TFA feels like a play it safe by-the-numbers meticulous corporate product, why not point out that Rey was doing everything like a pro, from using force powers to driving the millenium falcon better than Han Solo?

>There is nothing to say about TFA

What the fuck are you talking about? It has literally everything the other Star Wars films do, just arranged differently with different writers, casting, and directors. If you can spend 90 minutes shitting on Phantom Menace, how can't you spend a few minutes talking about TFA?

It's not like it's a two minute animated short.

There are no massive story flaws. The biggest flaw is that it is a remake of New Hope and Plinkett talked about it.

youtube.com/watch?v=9PCAPj4CkFM

Someone's buttblasted that MIke didn't validate his shitty contrarian opinion. TFA isn't a great movie, but it's a completely serviceable movie. There's really not much to say about it, which is why Plinkett doesn't say much about it and instead focuses on the business and cultural environment surrounding the movie.

>there are no story flaws in TFA

Why is there a resistance when the Empire is destroyed?

How powerful is the New Order actually? They say it's the remnants of the Empire yet the Empire didn't have the means to build a Death Star the size of a planet.

What's the deal with the Republic? Who are they and why isn't Leia with them?

Why did Hux hold a speech for his men before firing the death star? It's not like they're marching to war. For the guys, it's just another day at the office.

Why did this movie make such a big deal out of the Republic being destroyed when we don't even know what the Republic actually was?

How could a stormtrooper janitor use a lightsaber efficiently to the point of holding quite well against a Sith disciple?

How could an untrained girl defeat a Sith disciple when she didn't know about the Force until 30 minutes ago and this was her first time using a lightsaber? How is she so great at everything?

What was the point of the aliens released in the cargo? It had no impact on the movie at all save that scene.

Why were Finn and Poe such good friends when they met? They had spent a total of five minutes together, with four of them consisting of Poe doubting Finn's abilites.

What was the point of Luke making it so hard to find him and why did R2D2 wake up at such a convenient time of the story?

Why is the Empire still building death stars with massive weak points?

Why is Hux leading the New Order when he looks like he's in High School? Surely there is someone with more experience than him around.

What is the point of Maz? They say she's some pirate but why would someone like that be of value to a jedi like Luke?

Is Luke really that indifferent to the galaxy that he's willing to let four planets blow up rather than intervene himself?

Why was the Millenium Falcon so conveniently placed there? Did someone forget to take the car keys?

Why does Snoke like a Playstation character and what's with that stupid ass name?

Name one "massive" story flaw.

I'll wait.

(I didn't even really like the movie all that much fyi)

> No story flaws in TFA

Reddits

>There are actual, unironic Plinkett fans in this thread right now.

Hard to believe but true! Sad!

The fact that it's just a copypaste of ANH with some SJW shit forced in to trick the viewers otherwise is flaw enough to dismiss the movie entirely.

>I think nitpicks and story conveniences are the same thing as plot holes

3 > 2 > 1 > 6 > 5 > 4 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 7

He's going to dodge the question and give a general, barely relevant answer. Calling it.

And that's one of the main things that Plinkett focuses on.

>There are actual, unironic Prequel fans in this thread right now.

Hard to believe but true! Pathetic!

Called it too late. : (

>I think it being a blatant ANH rip-off while still fucking up the story isn't worthy criticism
Go on. Tell us how stupid you think Jedis wearing cloaks is instead. Obviously THAT is worthy of criticism. But nothing in TFA, no.

>Plinkett didn't point out TFA's problems
>proceeds to list biggest problem with TFA which was also Plinkett's main focal point
kek

That aspect IS worthy of criticism.

Which is why Plinkett criticizes it.

>Buttdevastated Plinkettpoopsock

I don't want to watch Plinkett abortions so can you explain how he can possibly justify bitching about the cloaks?

WOW I LOVED THIS MOVIE. MUCH BETTER THAN LUCAS. FLAWLESS MASTERPIECE

I just wonder, why isn't the black guy fucking the white girl? It's 2016. Just fuck already. We need to complete the ritual here. I want you to fuck so all the kids watching this knows what to expect when puberty kids. Put your dick in her ass already, Bobongo.

Not talking about the cloaks, you fucking retard. Holy shit, no wonder you're buttblasted about the new Plinkett review: your'e too stupid to even keep up with a simple conversation.

>Meant to be

The video is called The Star Wars Awakens not The Force Awakens review

Did he atleast call out the soundtrack for being shit?

If he didn't, then he's a verified Disney shill and should be banned from discussion here.

Wow, calm down. You say I'm buttblasted but look at the rage in your post! You even misspelled you're because you're fat fingering the keyboard so angrily!

He explains in the first minute this is more then a for e awakens review.

The opposite

>It has literally everything the other Star Wars films do

Can you remember how ANH ended? The good guys destroyed the doomsday machine of the bad guys and get their heroic ceremony, and there, end of story. TFA ended in a cliffhanger.

My point is that TFA only worked as a carpet for the new universe and nothing more. Plinkett supported Lucas' opinion, they really didn't made something new.

What a cop-out. A convenient way to dodge making a proper review of TFA.

>mfw Redditors shat on the prequels for years only to eat Disney's shit with a smug face pretending it tastes good

It's almost like he didn't give a shit about pandering to the contrarian autists constantly begging for a Plinkett review of TFA to validate their opinion

>My point is that TFA only worked as a carpet for the new universe and nothing more.

Okay but you're wrong, there was a conclusive story. We saw Rey's journey in letting go of the past and her lost family and moving forward. We saw Negro overcoming his struggles with the First Order and, like Han Solo in ANH, doing something selfless. We saw Han and Leia's struggles with their lost son, and his struggle with the Dark Side, and the tragic outcome of those struggles.

Just because it left open for a sequel doesn't mean that it isn't a serviceable film on its own. If ANH had an extra added scene on the end showing the Emperor ominously setting up a sequel by saying, "I HAVE A PLAN TO CRUSH THE REBELLION ONCE AND FOR ALL," it wouldn't have suddenly made ANH unworthy of discussion.

TFA has more of a conclusion to its story than Empire Strikes Back had. Just because something ends on a cliffhanger doesn't mean that there's no closure.

The more I think about this movie the less sense it makes. Rey is a Mary Sue, but she is also somehow not important to the plot? She barely makes a single choice and doesn't even decide to go on the adventure, she's kidnapped.

The strangest protagonist, a tag along Mary Sue. She doesn't even bring the mcguffin map to the Resistance and she doesn't blow up the Death Star 3.0. She brings Anakin's lightsaber back, but that's not the plot of this movie, just a teaser for the next one.

It's almost like Plinkett is a one-trick pony who can't sell himself as an adequate critic but is instead the prequel hating meme eternal!

perfect video here

youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes

>Mary Sue
I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Oh wait you're trolling, aren't you?

Only because he had to respond to the absurd wave of prequel apologia that emerged around the release of TFA

The fact that he felt the need to respond to that just makes him look pathetic

Nobody forced him to respond. It's only that he couldn't let go of the fact that TFA soured people so much that some people thought the prequels weren't so bad in retrospect.

He doesn't give a fuck about soundtracks

>who can't sell himself as an adequate critic
Has he ever tried to convince anyone he is?

Whether or not he has is irrelevant, because he literally can't.

Just like whether or not you've tried to lose your virginity is irrelevant, because you literally can't.

Why would he? He doesn't seem to give a shit about anything when it's TFA involved.

>SJW shit forced in
Opinion discarded

>autist logic

TFA is objectively the best Star Wars movie ever made. Its one failing point however it that it didn't fulfill the expectation of a subgroup of the core fanbase, a group that can in laymans terms be described as dickless permavirgin aspies. These individuals got a certain expectation from the film marketing which created for them an excitement and hope to live through the Kylo Ren character as a surrogate for their fantasy world of being a badass. This expectation however was shattered in a humiliating reversal wherein a character that is best summarized as a wittle gurl, bitch slapped the shit out of this Kylo Ren character who also turned out to himself be a unflattering reminder of the personality traits of said aspies in his childish unhinged emotional outbursts.

You fucking people are retarded

>people actually like kylo ren, snoke, mary sue and token black guy

>director literally openly states it
>nu-uh it's just a conspiracy!

This is the most objectively accurate statement in this entire thread.

>>Meant to be TFA
You fucked up in your very first sentence. Amazing.

Well, putting it in that way I agree. I felt the movie didn't say that things to me though, it felt incomplete to me.
Why Finn dislikes the Empire?
Because they murder people he doesn't know?

ESB didn't ended in a cliffhanger though. You can argue that next Luke will teach Rey and blabla while in ESB Lando tells you that next they need to find Jabba and the bounty who have Han.

This is so much better. I'm going to link this in TFA apologist threads from now on. Thanks man.

The idea that the jedi all wear desert robes because obi wan wore a desert robe in the desert is just mining the recognizable things from the OT to jam into the prequels in lieu of coming up with something new.

Luke didn't wear "jedi robes" he had a black outfit and occasionally a cloak. Yoda just wore a burlap sack because he was stranded on a jungle planet. But owen lars wore "jedi robes."

>Why Finn dislikes the Empire?
>Because they murder people he doesn't know?

Yes. You see normal human beings have something called "empathy," which makes you feel bad when you see people, particularly innocent people, being hurt or killed.

Fair enough.

TFA basically takes everything A New Hope did and does it better.

It's really more insulting millenials pretending the prequels are good. Though I will say he spent WAY too much time on the ring theory

>The idea that the jedi all wear desert robes because obi wan wore a desert robe in the desert is just mining the recognizable things from the OT to jam into the prequels in lieu of coming up with something new.

Wait, how is using something from established canon in other parts of the canon a cinematic crime?

So is having Jedi from the prequels using lightsabers just because Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Luke did suddenly mining recognizable things?

So is having Boba Fett's father wear his armor originally mining things?

So is Tatooine being the home planet of Anakin mining things?

So is Sith Lords wearing ominous black cloaks mining things?

I don't get how having characters wear the same type of clothes as similar character within the same 50 year span in the same canon is a cinematic crime.

Force Awakens was very forgettable like the Star Trek reboot.

It had bullshit but not enough to make a 3 hour movie based on it. Plinkett still nailed it that Disney should do original with the Star Wars than remaking The original trilogy again.

>So is having Jedi from the prequels using lightsabers just because Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Luke did suddenly mining recognizable things?
The lightsaber is established very early on in ANH as being a standard weapon for Jedi.

>So is having Boba Fett's father wear his armor originally mining things?
Yes. Yes it is.

>So is Tatooine being the home planet of Anakin mining things?
Yes. Lucas retroactively made ANH make no sense. Why would they "hide" Luke in the most obvious place possible?
I think you may be retarded, user.

Are normal human beings raised from birth to be stormtroopers? I like Boyega, but it was a weak characterization to make him appauled at the thought of killing strangers, but then has no problem murdering the only "family" he has ever known a few scenes later.

The script for TFA felt like it was just a sloppy connect the dots to get you to the big action setpieces. Damn the characters and motivations we need a 10 minute action sequence with cgi tentacle monsters to pad out the runtime between Not-tatooine and the applebees in space.

>Why would they "hide" Luke in the most obvious place possible?

Because it's an enormous, hazardous desert planet and it would be virtually impossible to find one random kid on it.

We couldn't find Barack Osama in Afghanistan and that's just one desert, not an entire planet filled with hostile life forms.

A

GLIB

FACSIMILE

Prequels tried to be unique and failed

TFA tried to be bland but well made

The latter is harder to make fun of

>Nobody forced him to respond.
It shouldn't have happened in the first place.

So your argument is that because other stormtroopers didn't have empathy, Babayega shouldn't either?

>but then has no problem murdering the only "family" he has ever known a few scenes later.

Literally self-defense and his stormtrooper self-defense training kicking in. They're not his family anyway, they don't even have faces. Humans don't empathize with the faceless, which is why I don't care if you're raped to death by a ronto.

George Lucas was flawed, but atleast he was passionate and not a jew.

>Almost the entire cast of ANH is white
>Nah that's just normal

>TFA has non-white people in it
>It's being forced in!!

>The latter is harder to make fun of
That's never stopped the rest of the internet...

Watch this
The director explicitly states his intentions. It's not sheer chance that the girl is a Mary Sue and the nigger is good guy dindu nuffin.

wow george makes ewan and hayden look like giants

i didn't think he was so short

wow it's like a more racist cinema sins

He's seriously complaining that it's a coincidence that Finn crashed landed near Rey. I have no fucking patience for these people that can't prioritize their time or leave out irrelevant points. Don't waste my time.

Wow you seem quite mad. Is that Disney shilling salary really so good?

How much is Disney paying shills? I want in on this.

"Better" could be debated but what they did do was update ANH for a contemporary audience.

I'm sorry, but the original trilogy is boring to kids these days.

>dude i hate niggers and jews
>le mary sue

Wit sharp as a razor

I just had the smartest idea in the world

why don't we just

take the script for ANH

shove in some niggers and feminists

and rake in the dough?

These dumb nerds will never be able to shit on a movie that panders to their sensibilities this much.

It wouldn't be hard to find him when you consider that his last name is Skywalker because Lucas was more preoccupied with tying the prequels into the originals than he was having anything make any sense.

I'm just calmly poking holes in your argument, the ronto thing was to make a point. I can't see your face so I am literally 100% okay with you being raped by a space giraffe. If you were in the room with me I'd never think like that.

If people are shooting lasers at you like while all wearing anonymous evil robot masks, it's not going to be too horrifying for you to not defend yourself, especially if you're a trained soldier as Finn is.

It's bizarre that you're complaining he has too much empathy to be a stormtrooper, but not enough to not kill stormtroopers. You're actually contradicting yourself.

The last one came out in 2005 when he was already adult with his own judgment.
The prequels are pure trash regardless of the time period.

I've seen it. Saying, "yeah it'd be cool if we had some non-white people in this franchise which has largely used white actors and actresses previously" isn't enough to dismiss the movie entirely.

>Wait, how is using something from established canon in other parts of the canon a cinematic crime?
Because it doesn't make sense in the logic of the movie. Obi Wan wore desert robes because he lived in the desert, not because he was a Jedi.

So we have Solo and Leia divorced

And they just repeat all their lines from ANH

And then we also make the republic the resistance and the resistance the empire

These dumb fucks living in their childhoods will love it. They'll be so high on nostalgia they won't even be able to tell how much we're fucking them in the ass.

This is how upset a shill can get when you call out his jew propaganda movie.

I thought they were 18 when Phantom Menace came out.

Nobody ever refers to Luke or his family as Skywalkers, except Luke himself. It could be that nobody knew them by that name. It's not like the USA where you have to sign your last name on tons of government documents all the time. It's a vast frontier of farmers who probably only need to know each other on a first name basis, and most of them probably never have to put your name down for anything since there's no real government out there, or bureaucracy.

Do you think that KNOWING Barack Osama's name would've helped them find Barack Osama in Afghanistan?

Not without some kind of explanation as to WHY he was different. That's called bad screenwriting.

Why has this been spammed here all month? I think people are pretending to hate it but really trying to drive traffic to this review. I don't even know who it is and have no plans on watching it.

I accept your surrender.

What the fuck? So you want the writers to explain Finn's very specific brain chemistry that makes him squeamish about killing innocent people?

Jesus, you're just grasping at straws now Schlomo.

>why do people discuss things that I haven't personally approved of
Fuck off, retard.

No he is in the White House

The RLM goons are known for shilling on Cred Forums. Just look how defensive they get when you call out their hypocrisy.

>Do you think that KNOWING Barack Osama's name would've helped them find Barack Osama in Afghanistan?
Except luke wasn't hiding in a cave avoiding daisy cutters. He even applied to the imperial accademy. You dont think the name skywalker would set off a few red flags?

He doesn't care about Star Wars
He doesn't care what it looks or feels like
He doesn't care whose in it and whose not
He doesn't care if its lore is raped or fucked

Mike only cares about stories and whether they're well told or not.
The prequels had shitty stories that were shittily told.
TFA had a shitty story that was told with some level of cinematic competence.

Mike's a formalist. If that's not obvious by now you dum

And the story in TFA is shit.

Haha babay likes star wars!!! Baby likes da cool colored swords and da mad guys!! dont make fun of babys vid vids!!!!!

No. I expect a character's motivation to make sense in the context of the film. Especially when its a major plot point.

lol, Mike is a fanboy that much is obvious to anyone

So Mike likes good stories that are then turned into what hipster poser faggots like.

Other people know his name.

In A New Hope...

Luke to Leia: "My name is Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you."

Red Leader: "Are you... Luke Skywalker? Have you been checked out on the Incom T-sixty-five?"

And Biggs (his friend from back home) hears this. If Biggs (and everyone else from back home) knew Luke as Luke Lars (or some other name) he'd have said something about the new last name.

Plus, nobody ever calls him Luke Lars or some other name once.

>He even applied to the imperial accademy.
He wanted to but I don't think he ever got the chance?
>You dont think the name skywalker would set off a few red flags?
Do you think that in the vast bureaucratic machine that is the Empire (which spans over literally thousands of planets), it's common knowledge that the asthmatic death robot's son is out there and you need to look for his name? I bet most people don't even know Darth Vader's actual name.

>He wanted to but I don't think he ever got the chance?
True. He says he wants to transmit his application, but gets shot down.

>Plus, nobody ever calls him Luke Lars or some other name once.

Nobody ever refers to him as Skywalker period, except for Red Leader who was reading his name off of something that probably just had his name put in it hours before.

Why are there so many apologists for this shitty movie? Not even capeshit movies have such a standing army of drones.

prequelbabies on S U I C I D E W A T C H

Perhaps it is not a shitty movie and your opinion is simply wrong, user.

>The prequels had shitty stories that were shittily told.
>TFA had a shitty story that was told with some level of cinematic competence.

I can't even imagine devoting so much brain power to arguing about such an average movie as TFA. You know why Plinkett doesn't spend more time breaking down TFA? Because it's just not worth the time or effort. It's an "okay" movie. Move on.

This thread is embarrassing.

Settle down Plinkett.

Your constant shilling shitty youtube celebrities is even more embarrassing.

Yes. Why do you think he hasn't made a The Hobbit or Avatar review?
Those stories are dogshit but they're set up in a basic narrative structure. For Mike that's untouchable.

Mike only cares about form.
Rich only attacks "movie logic" like that YourMovieSucks faggot.
Jay is the closest thing to a real critic but he admits he doesn't know why he likes or doesn't like the things he likes and doesn't like.

None of them are that sharp. They're just funny dudes. The Prequel reviews were lightning in a bottle

But I've never done that.

I give the movie 9/10. I would've given it 10/10 if the white girl was savagely fucked by the nigger. But as of now, the race mixing propaganda isn't strong enough so it only gets a 9.

Which means was wrong when they said "Nobody ever refers to Luke or his family as Skywalkers, except Luke himself."

>Luke introduces himself as Luke Skywalker
>Luke gets called Luke Skywalker by a stranger in front of a friend who knew him and that friend isn't surprised in the least because he already knows Luke's last name
>there's no indication that Luke went by any other last name than Skywalker

The reason he nitpicked the prequels is because it failed to entice any emotional connection so the flaws become much more glaring because you can't let the emotional part of your brain take over and ignore the little things while with the force awakens it creates enough of an emotional connect that you can gloss over its flaws Mike and Jay constantly go on about how the movie just needs to make an emotional connect and doesn't need to be perfect to be enjoyable and good

>Why do you think he hasn't made a The Hobbit or Avatar review?
He did review Avatar. He also reviewed Titanic. Both movies have a pretty basic but solid narrative structure.

I know, it was great. Not as great as the prequel reviews, but still entertaining.

>The Prequel reviews were lightning in a bottle
They're quite literally facebook level LOL DUDE LMAO xDDD and I am honestly surprised to see a thread about them.

>Jay is the closest thing to a real critic but he admits he doesn't know why he likes or doesn't like the things he likes and doesn't like.
When has he ever said this?

Yoda was wearing robes too, not a "sack". Jedi are space samurai monks, that's why they wear robes.

Why would Biggs be surprised? Do you think if he knew Skywalker's name and a Stormtrooper came by and asked him if he met any Skywalkers, he would've pointed them toward Luke? Stay on target, the argument is about whether the Empire would be able to find Skywalker based off his name, if his name has no reason nor indication to be on any records on Tatooine or any other planet.

>I am honestly surprised to see a thread about them.
So how's your first day on Cred Forums going?

But he did review Avatar and Titanic which both are far better written than The Force Copypastes.

>>Nah that's just normal
Considering it was shot in Britain, which was almost entirely homogeneous at the time, and starred Americans, which was majority white, yes. Yes it is normal.

I mean in general. I don't get why we're posting funny videos we saw on facebook here on Cred Forums.

>Why is a film analysis being posted on a film board?

>I don't understand the difference between a 2 hour film analysis with precise editing and high production value and a funny cat video

>says "nobody knows his name!"
>people know his name
The discussion is whether or not people know Luke Skywalker as Luke Skywalker, and you (or "another user") was wrong to claim that they don't "because nobody else calls him by name" when 1) he introduces himself as Luke Skywalker to another person, 2) someone else does call him by name and his friend from back home clearly already knew his name based on his reaction, and 3) we never see Luke hide his name or go by an alternative name or pretend like it's some big secret (and there's no reason for him to believe so because, as far as he knew growing up, his dad Anakin Skywalker was some nobody who flew cargo).

You're free to believe what you want but your beliefs have no merits and aren't based on anything in the film and actually go against things we see in the film (not that you [or "some other user"] remembered what actually happened in the movie).

>Literally self-defense and his stormtrooper self-defense training kicking in
And it didn't in the opening scene because?

>They're not his family anyway
He's been living with them his whole life, they're as close to family as he'll ever have.

>they don't even have faces
He knows they do. When he sees their helmets he should be reminded that one of his former brothers-in-arms is inside. Instead he stabs a fucker straight through the heart. With no remorse.

>which is why I don't care if you're raped to death by a ronto
Epic edge friend.

I could post the pasta, but I won't

not this time

It was brief, but we did see Finn interact with a dying soldier in the opening scene who was presumably his friend. Seeing him die made him stall and get freaked out by all the shit happening around him. Then instead of staying to get killed himself another day he decided to get the hell out of the army.

>Do you think if he knew Skywalker's name and a Stormtrooper came by and asked him if he met any Skywalkers, he would've pointed them toward Luke?
This actually happens in the canon: Boba Fett beats Luke Skywalker's name out of a kid who grew up knowing Luke.

It's how Darth Vader discovers the name of the mysterious Rebel pilot who blew up the Death Star.

>5 years ago everyone was shitting in the prequels
>Nowadays everyone shits on TFA
>20 years into the future people will shit on the new trilogy

Like clockwork.
TFA sucks dick by the way, only reddit crossposters and "le ironic humor xD" anons will defend it.

It's like pottery.

Only a few people really shit on TFA, and only a few people "unironically" like the prequels.

>getting triggered by some user saying "raped" on Cred Forums
wew lad

Guaranteed replies. You people realize tfa is a Disney movie?

TFA was fucking boring, characters were boring, the plot was boring. It was a mediocre piece of garbage

> ask your friends

KEK
E
K

I love how RLM goons tried the narrative that RLM only reviews awful movies only to forget that he reviewed Titanic and Avatar. The Disney paycheck is keeping him shut down.

But he did mention it, in one sentence but he said it, that it makes her unrelatable and all.

Actually in a few parts he was pretty apologetic toward the prequels and Lucas, did you even watch the review or did you just get triggered 3 minutes in?

>in the canon

Excuse me...

You're excused.

>And it didn't in the opening scene because?
Because the people shooting him didn't have faceless masks that time but were actual people.

>He knows they do.
And I know you have a face, but I still don't mind the thought of you being raped by a rancor.

What I don't get about all this shit is the whole "Dark Side" thing. I assume it will be explained in the sequels why and how Kylo turned? Seems anime-tier desu, no way it can be adequatly explained.

If it's not in a live-action film, it's not canon.

He also Plinkett reviewed Star Trek 2009, which he liked. The Star Trek 2009 review is a good example of what a TFA Plinkett review could have been: it spends a bit of time talking about the franchise and how it went from the TNG movies to this new one, but most of it is focused on the 2009 movie and he's willing to nitpick it apart and point out its flaws while also stating that it's good. No "ring theory" crap to weigh the video down, just good ol' Plinkett.

>REEEEEEEE WHY DOESN'T HE VALIDATE MY Cred Forums OPINIONS ;-;

This is incorrect.

>he is wrong and inconsistent and here is why
>REEEE WHY DO PEOPLE NOT AGREE TO EVERYTHING EH SAYS ;-;

Yeah but his Star Trek 2009 review didn't get posted all over facebook and didn't receive enough Likes so he didn't want to repeat it.

>he's inconsistent because he doesn't have the same opinion of the movie that I do!

His Star Wars Plinkett reviews have always been more popular and watched than his other Plinkett stuff, though.

Yes, because they appeal to a broader, stupider audience.

You know, like pop music or reality television.

Your average person likes Star Wars more than Star Trek (unless they're a pedophile, in which case they are 100% a Star Trek fan).

This guy's a hack and a shill,
what did you expect?

Then why would people be so enthusiastic about something that is shitting on Star Wars?

Because LOL BASEMENT HAS A LADY IN IT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH EBIN xDDD

So is lars a jedi? Or just really into cosplaying as a member of a religous order everyone in the galaxy forgot about in 18 years.

>has reviewed Titanic, Avatar, Indiana Jones
what are you trying to say?

I like Star Wars and I like watching people make fun of Star Wars in a comedic fashion.

>only one group of people can wear robes in the universe
I mean, just on Earth, there's a bunch of different groups of people that wore or wear robes.

Jawas wear robes, too. They're pretty much the first robes we see in Star Wars. Guess all the Jedi and Lars and everyone is also a Jawa. Is that how it works?

>RLM fan base is comprised of hardcore OT purist autists
>Expecting them to shit on the OT fanservice wank
You want to upset your patreon donators? A man's gotta eat.

You mean the jawas who live in the desert have desert robes? Thats fucking weird mang.

You mean Jedis are based partly on real world monks and follow a similar philosophy have monk robes? Thats fucking weird mang.

Except, again, on Earth, in the real world, there's a lot of people who aren't/weren't living in the desert yet still wore robes.

The only people in the OT who wore the "jedi robes" were people who, at some point, lived on tatooine.

Then the prequels hit and they're the standard uniform for all jedi.

You can't defend that shit.

>The only people in the OT who wore the "jedi robes" were people who, at some point, lived on tatooine.

Yoda wore "jedi robes" in the OT and never lived on Tatooine.

>The only people in the OT who wore the "jedi robes" were people who, at some point, lived on tatooine.

TFA was a shit movie and I won't be seeing any of the new ones

nigga that's a fucking burlap sack

It's okay that you're wrong.

And Anakin also wore the same robe when Luke sees his ghost in the end. And he sure as fuck wasn't on Tatooine then.

RLM was quick to shit on the prequels. For even the things it didn't do wrong. And then comes TFA that completely shits on the original movies and he's completely fine with that because muh soft reboot.

Fuck these Disney sellouts. They are the ones who enable the jews to do the cons they pull.

True, too.

It's not explained in the original trilogy how Vader turned either, and it never needed to be

Nah, you're just reaching.

clearly done to quickly establish, through visual means, that vader/anakin had turned back to the light, without need for long expository dialogue.

But I guess uncle owen and aunt beru were also jedi though, right?

No, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are Jawas. Only Jawas wear robes.

>thinks the TFA review was positive
What's wrong with you?

>it never needed to be
They never needed to make any Star Wars films at all.

Is Cred Forums the most pathetic userbase on Cred Forums? The contrarian mental gymnastics regarding Star Wars: TFA is incredible and at the same time absolutely loathsome.

The constant denial, backtracking and moving the goalposts.

>"TFA will be shit! Fucking Jew Jew Abrams, fucking nigger main character, fucking SJWs! People won't accept this! It will be worse than the prequels and a total flop!"
>Trailer drops. Record pre-sales, screenings booked out months in advance. Hype incredibly high.
>"I-i-t'll still be a flop! Guaranteed to be shit! Phantom Menace sold well too before people realised it was shit! N-nigger character!"
>TFA releases. 5 star reviews, record opening day. People love based Johnny B's performance, and he's very well received.
>"o-ok it might not be as bad as we thought, but it's still not going to beat Jurassic World! Disney are finished!"
>Beats Jurassic World, despite being released in off-season and no Chinese release.
>"J-just wait until based RLM eviscerates it for being A New Hope ripoff in a Mr Plinkett review! You'll f-fucking see then Starfags!"
>Mike loves it. RLM approve and think it has saved the Star Wars franchise from the prequels.
>"FUCKING SHIT FILM, MARY SUE JEW SHIT. PREQUEL LOVE THREAD. WHO FUCKING LOVES ATTACK OF THE CLONES? I DO. REVENGE OF THE SITH WAS BETTER THAN ROTJ. BASED GEORGE LUCAS. WELL AT LEAST TFA WON'T BEAT AVATAR, I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD PLEASE."

The mouthbreathing basement dwellers who strive to be contrarian have been backed into a corner really, they started so verbose. So confident that the film would be a flop, not break any records and would be panned by critics. Slowly as TFA has BTFO them on every conceivable level, they've been reduced to adopting some bizarre cult-like contrarian attitude to the prequels, proclaiming them as underrated gems, and trying to push some kind of narrative where if TFA doesn't beat Avatar, it's somehow failed, despite already being a record breaking movie and saving Star Wars.

>calls other contrarians
>says everyone here hates tfa except him
Aren't you being a bit of a contrarian yourself, user?

But seriously I liked TFA.

>retarded contrarians decide to start liking prequels again for new reasons
>he addresses this

this is easily the worst board here

No. Cred Forums or Cred Forums.

Cred Forums is a little worse

Just let it fucking go man. Just admit that it was needless nitpicking for something nobody was bothered by.

Calm down Disney shill. You can always rely on Reddit to share your sensibilites.

SHUT UP IM NEVER WRONG

but Reddit loves the prequels and I don't.

Thanks for the non-sequiter, how does this add to the conversation or even address anything I said?

Reddit loves Redlettermedia and TFA because of the racemixing propaganda. Stay there if dissenting opinions hurt your feelings.

but I don't like places that like the prequels, and Reddit adores them.

Reddit hates the prequels because that's the cool thing to do. They love TFA because it has all the nostalgia pandering and SJW shit they could ask for.

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3tj2w2/i_just_watched_all_six_movies_after_many_years_of/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/24hkra/sick_of_excessive_star_wars_prequel_bashing/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3o8xwh/rant_why_i_like_the_prequels_more/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/2okafq/do_the_prequels_get_more_hate_than_they_deserve/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3equef/what_did_you_like_about_the_prequels/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3q75k3/why_we_shouldnt_hate_the_prequels_that_much/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/2k27ik/can_we_please_get_some_prequel_love_in_here/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/srslj/the_best_things_about_the_prequel_trilogy/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/31y016/thoughts_on_the_prequels/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3lt66n/what_is_your_favourite_thing_about_the_prequels/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/2ef1pr/what_did_the_prequels_do_right/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/2mm6fo/fans_of_starwars_that_prefer_the_prequels_what_is/

reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/1kql2p/who_actually_enjoyed_the_prequels/

reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2asedx/what_did_you_like_about_the_star_wars_prequels/

reddit.com/r/movies/comments/1wql13/whats_something_you_actually_like_about_the_star/

reddit.com/r/movies/comments/35vgbn/which_of_the_star_wars_prequels_was_the_best/

reddit.com/r/movies/comments/3won8k/fans_of_the_star_wars_prequels_separate_or_as_a/

reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2djt5b/what_are_some_things_the_star_wars_prequel_films/

reddit.com/r/movies/comments/3ytvlr/discussion_the_star_wars_prequels_are_not_as_bad/

reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2vauhq/just_watched_all_6_star_wars_movies_feel_like

>actually browsing Reddit
Proved my point

>dismissing evidence
>moving the goalpost
>being this wrong

>Because it's an enormous, hazardous desert planet and it would be virtually impossible to find one random kid on it.
Yeah, not like the OT explicitly shows Vader has a magical ability to sense his presence or anything.

>C3PO shoved in for no reason
>R2D2 back for no reason
>dude Jango Fett is also a bounty hunter lmao
>Clones are a ripoff of storm troopers
>dude Baby Boba Fett lmao
>Republic ships are a ripoff of Imperial Star destroyers
>Naboo is earth
>Death Star plans in Attack of the Clones
>All Jedi wear Tatooine farmer robes
>Coruscant is a ripoff of the city from Blade Runner
>dude Genonisis is Tatooine with rocks lmao
>dude Kamino is just Cloud City with water instead of clouds lmao
>trying to be unique

No he btfos ring theory that jj tries to allude to with his passable reboot

wtf i hate the force awakes now

But the review could have a bit more memes

Mike is a Star Trek fanboy and a casual Star Wars fan.

>far greater sins present in TFA.
Name one.

>All Jedi wear Tatooine farmer robes
They're Jawa robes, friend.

All of this "brilliant" writing for nothing, you useless cuck

>C3PO shoved in for no reason
>R2D2 back for no reason
Star Wars characters in a Star Wars film? No way!

>dude Jango Fett is also a bounty hunter lmao
Lots of kids follow in Daddy's footsteps.

>Clones are a ripoff of storm troopers
>Republic ships are a ripoff of Imperial Star destroyers
Yeah man Lucas totally ripped himself off that dude who made Star Wars.

>dude Baby Boba Fett lmao
He's clearly an adolescent in the movie, not a baby.

>Naboo is earth
Earth has gungans on it and a watery core you can swim right through?

>Death Star plans in Attack of the Clones
Whoa Star Wars stuff in Star Wars.

>All Jedi wear Tatooine farmer robes
This thread has already beaten this idiotic idea to death.

>Coruscant is a ripoff of the city from Blade Runner
Except we see tons of shots where Coruscant is a bright, vibrant place.

>dude Genonisis is Tatooine with rocks lmao
dude Hoth is Tatooine with snow lmao

>dude Kamino is just Cloud City with water instead of clouds lmao
They're vaguely alike so they're exactly the same thing lmao

>trying to be unique
Pretty sure he was trying to make a Star Wars.

Finn dosen't really show any signs of being trained from a very young age to kill and be loyal to the First Order. His arc would be much more believable if he was just some guy recently conscripted.

I will endeavor to answer your questions ONLY with knowledge gained from the movie itself, or possibly logical guesses and inferences. No EU knowledge from tie-in whatevers because I agree that's a shitty way to tell a story.

>Why is there a resistance when the Empire is destroyed?
It's a resistance to the New Order. It's quietly supported by, but not officially endorsed by, the Republic, because after being conquered by a galactic empire most people in the Republic are kind of sore on the whole war thing.

>How powerful is the New Order actually?
It started off small, but quietly built up a base of power in the Outer Rim outside of Republican space.

>What's the deal with the Republic? Who are they and why isn't Leia with them?
They're the new government that took over after the Battle of Endor. The Hosnian system was their capital. Leia left them because she was all up in their face saying "Hey, guys, these space nazis being led by my evil son are a threat! We should kill them!" because see above - most Republicans were sick of the whole war thing to the point of having their heads in the sand. Follow on outside-movie explanation: The movie originally had a plot on that planet we see when it gets destroyed which was intended to show this more, but it got cut for time. However, everything else I said was easy to infer or directly stated in the movie.

>Why did Hux hold a speech for his men before firing the death star?
Because it was awesome. And also, they intended it to be the death of the Republic, hardly another day in the office.

Durr, Rey beat up a Level 16 Sith.

>Why did this movie make such a big deal out of the Republic being destroyed...
Because it definitively tells us the OT didn't solve the issue in the galaxy. It sets up the crisis this trilogy will deal with. But I agree that it leaves too much to be inferred as to what the Republic is - it doesn't give us the same reason to care about the Hosnian System as the original did about Alderaan, for instance.

>How could a stormtrooper janitor use a lightsaber efficiently
Are we talking about the same movie? He gets his ass kicked.

>How could an untrained girl defeat a Sith disciple
Because he was wounded and she was using the Force, and above all that, because she's a mary sue.

>What was the point of the aliens released in the cargo?
To have a forced "thrilling" action sequence.

>Why were Finn and Poe such good friends when they met?
Fire-forged friendship. They saved each others' lives and fought together. Poe literally gave him his name, the symbolic (and literal) founding of his new, post-Stormtrooper identity. Poe is basically the first person to treat him like a human being and not a soldier.

>What was the point of Luke making it so hard to find him...
Because after his failure with the whole new jedi order thing, he thought his teaching was actively dangerous and self-exiled. Can't have new Sith if you don't have any new Jedi to tempt into darkness and all.

>...and why did R2D2 wake up at such a convenient time of the story?
R2D2 was depressed. No, literally, that's the official explanation. He woke up because of the prospect of finding Luke again.

JEDI MIND TRICK IS A LEVEL 14 JEDI SPELL AND REY WAS A LEVEL 1 JEDI AT BEST

>Why is Hux leading the order when he looks like he's in high school?
Bad casting.

>What is the point of Maz?
She's a wise old person who knows the Force or something.

>why would someone like that be of value to a jedi like Luke?
I think one recurring theme in Star Wars is finding good in unlikely places. Han Solo is a rough, shoot-first kind of mercenary smuggler who ends up being a good guy, which is a pattern we see over and over again. It's not Star Wars without lovable rogues who end up having a heart of gold. Other than that, I don't understand the question. Maz and Luke never met.

>Is Luke really that indifferent to the galaxy?
It's not clear he knew the superweapon existed. By that point in time he was sorta chilling off in Ireland by himself. I would say letting an evil sith lord run off is a bad call, but I'd be willing to call it a human, understandable one.

>Why was the Millenium Falcon so conveniently placed there?
It was stolen by someone who stole it from someone who stole it from someone else because the Force made them do it so it'd be there to unite the characters. Yeah, it's a pretty contrived coincidence. To be fair, Star Wars has always run on contrived coincidence, but this one was pretty big even by Star Wars standards.

>Why does Snoke look like a Playstation character...
Because of CGI

>...and what's with that stupid ass name?
SHEEEEEV

>No EU knowledge

>SHEEEEEV

But yeah, Star Wars got some dumb names in it like Boba.

>>Republic ships are a ripoff of Imperial Star destroyers

Sheev turned the Republic into the Empire, so this is actually a nice touch.

>>Naboo is earth

Naboo is one of the more unique planets, with the Renaissance vibe alongside the swamps.

>Coruscant is a ripoff of the city from Blade Runner

Ralph Mcquarrie's Coruscant art predates Blade Runner.

Prequels still a shit, but credit where it's due.

>Fire-forged friendship. They saved each others' lives and fought together. Poe literally gave him his name, the symbolic (and literal) founding of his new, post-Stormtrooper identity. Poe is basically the first person to treat him like a human being and not a soldier.
I liked that explanation.
+1

Why was the Emperor wearing Tatooine farmer robes?

And isn't she supposed to be a princess, not a Tatooine farmer?

You don't get it. They're wearing BROWN clothes. And according to Mike Stoklasa, color brown can only mean one thing.

Even the original characters' names only sound cool to us because we're used to them. I don't think Snoke is a good name, but I don't think it's out of place in a setting with an Obi-Wan and a Darth Vader and a Palpatine and a Han and a guy named Wedge. Fucking Wedge. There's literally a guy whose name is Wedge.

Luke is a Tatooine farmer, but he doesn't wear brown. Hell, I'd hardly say he's wearing robes there.

And Owen doesn't wear brown robes.

Obi-Wan's brown and white robes seemed like basic, simple desert attire in the OT...

...but then the prequels demonstrated those robes are in fact an official Jedi Order uniform, which begs the question of why a guy who is IN HIDING would wear the official uniform of the order.

Aunt Beru (Tatooine farmer) wears a dress and a jean jacket.

Mike ;__;

People who believe in giving up attachments, like the Jedi or the real world monks they're based on, usually wear simple robes.

>brown can only mean one thing
Invasion.

It's a pretty cross-cultural phenomenon, too.

>giving up attachments
Sounds like a wonderful excuse to stop wearing the robe you've been wearing all your life. You know, that robe that distinctively identifies you as a member of an order the government is trying to exterminate.

Past Mike and present Jay in the same show would make it too homoerotic tbqh

>they should walk around naked
Pretty sure that would make him more noticeable.

But seriously, it's been pointed out that robes are a thing people wear in Star Wars, and not just Jedi.

And not all Jedi wear robes in the prequels (although, I'll grant you, most do).

The other anons blew you out. Stop nitpicking and retreat from this thread. You have lost.

>the other anons
So, *you
>blew you out
*apparently think every robelike dress in existence looks identical.

Find me one non-jedi in seven movies that wears this brown-and-white robe thing. Just one. C'mon, if it's supposed to just be a common garment, I'm sure you can find one.

He had been SHOT.
I think I can beat the Rock if he gets shot first.

It's fine, dude. At this point, he realizes he's wrong and he's just doing it to "troll" so that he can pretend he was trolling the whole time instead of admitting he made a genuine mistake.

why are jawas wearing jedi uniforms?

Beyond that, he'd been shot buy a bowcaster that we previously saw sending stormtroopers flying across rooms.

There are significant differences between Jedi, Lars, and the Jaws robes. Also, Luke's robes in ROTJ are obviously Jedi robes based on his father's and Obi-wans garb

>Jaws robes
Shark Jedi confirmed?

Let him have his fun. If the legion of official sources identifying them as Jedi robes, the fact that almost every Jedi in the prequels wears them, and the obvious distinctiveness of the outfit aren't enough "proof" then literally nothing is.

Still waiting to find one non-jedi in seven movies that wears that specific brown-and-white ensemble. Not a "vaguely superficially similar outfit," not "any other robelike outfit," but that specific dress, which we see commonly worn by jedi.

>Find me one non-jedi in seven movies that wears this brown-and-white robe thing.
Wioslea in A New Hope.

They weren't supposed to be shoved into a story when it didn't make sense.

But it's not a unique idea.

You're saying its unique, when it isn't.

Autism

Autism

You're it's new and unique when it isn't.

It's the truth, not idiotic.

Nope, BR ripoff.

Dipshit

They're literally the same.

So was Disney.

Those are clearly not Jedi robes

Making fun of the prequels is still funny, and annoys the crazed prequel defense force.

Do admit he dropped the ball on TFA, but there are other videos that took it down fine.

Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you about his father? He was hired to assassinate a senator that me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw her would be assassin out, but his cunning surprised even us. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. And then that 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise for all we knew! Where was I? Oh yes, then that robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept, after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her because we we weren't watching her at all, but it as not a good shot. So we sense the hostile life forms in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his dumb jetpack. Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. Mace was a good friend. Boba is a bad friend.

...

Not one thing you said made sense behind the buzzwords and rage.

I like, when you get BTFO, your only response is "nuh-uh." It's funny how you can't just shrug off being wrong anonymously on Cred Forums.

See

Yep.

ditto

I saw that because I'm the one who posted it.

nice upvote, don't forget to give him Reddit gold as well!

Don't be upset when nobody agrees with you because you're wrong. You only have yourself to blame.

>Being so desperate you need a toy package as proof
Not a Jedi, does not have identifying markers like Anakin, Luke's or Obi-wans

>does not have identifying markers
You're goalpost shifting, and vaguely, too.

I responded to this post:

where this was asked:

>Find me one non-jedi in seven movies that wears this brown-and-white robe thing.

And did, indeed, find one non-Jedi in seven movies that wears "this brown-and-white robe thing."

bens wearing jawa robes because hes living like a jawa.

I'm right though.

>Luke, did I ever tell you these were your father's droids? We went on wild adventures together for over 3 years in the Clone Wars, and the little one even saved me from a swarm of buzz droids, yet I somehow don't recognize them anymore. They were good friends.

You're using non canonical EU toys as proof to win an argument. They are not Jedi tunics or robes.

I posted images from the movie. Two, in fact, in which he wears the very thing you describe.

Which look nothing like Jedi gear.

>Which look nothing like Jedi gear.
So you say.

Well, would you look at that.

>Jedi robes

None of these guys are Jedi because their robes lack the clear indications of Jedi.

>Kit Fisto is literally wearing the exact same outfit, but with a brown tunic

Yoda's robes aren't even brown. Not a Jedi. None of these guys are Jedi.

>but with a brown tunic
So not the same. Got it. Not a Jedi.

Yaddle isn't one either since she's wearing I don't even know what, a fucking scarf?

If it's not exactly the same it's not Jedi robes because autism.

FACT: Obi-Wan Kenobi wore the same outfit he and other Jedi wore as a uniform during the war. He can be seen wearing the exact same outfit in the prequels.

FACT: This outfit does not originate from Tatooine, as many characters who are not from Tatooine and never go there can be seen wearing it.

FACT: Obi-Wan hid to look after Luke Skywalker, but didn't even bother to change his last goddamn name despite sharing it with Darth fucking Vader.

FACT: Luke was hidden with immediate family on Tatooine, Anakin's birthplace. Vader is shown to have known the family was there.

FACT: Luke wanted to join the Imperial Academy and become a starfighter pilot. Presumably, someone at some point would've noticed his last name.

FACT: Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't bother hiding his Force powers from the locals. Owen literally calls him a "wizard" at one point.

CONCLUSION: Obi-Wan Kenobi doesn't know jack shit about hiding.

>people getting an autistic rage over Mike's head canon
What the hell

Not a Jedi.

Giraffes can't be Jedi, it's in the bylaws.

Not a Jedi.

Jesus christ, this entire fucking thread.

Getting this mad won't win your case.

Not a Jedi.

Jedi? Probably a Sith.

How is this hard to understand?

People in the military wear a uniform. It's identical to many other people in the military. However, the military also has more than one uniform depending on branch of service, formality, and other such things. Beyond that, the uniform is periodically changed.

This does not mean everyone who wears anything with a camo pattern is in the military. But if you see someone in a military uniform, he's likely in the military. And if your military is purged by an evil empire who rules the planet, hiding out in your military uniform would be a bad idea.

Is this clear yet?

...

>FACT: Luke wanted to join the Imperial Academy and become a starfighter pilot. Presumably, someone at some point would've noticed his last name.

But who in the Empire knows that Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker?

Serious question.

Current canon indicated Sheev and (maybe) Tarkin, neither of whom would have the names of Stormtrooper applicants from Tatooine slid across their desks when they have an Empire to run.

What does this have to do with star wars or obi wan?

No, not at all.

Explain why some robes in Star Wars are Jedi robes and some robes in Star Wars aren't.

Robes aren't a uniform

Because the "logic" at work here is akin to looking at that picture and then declaring this guy isn't in the military.

>All these people posting bathrobes
>Implying the best Jedi doesn't wear a jacket

I want RedditLetterMedia shilling to end already.

Explain why some camo outfits are military uniforms and others aren't.

Jedi don't wear just robes though. They have a specific style of tunic with belts and boots. Also a holster for a lightsaber.

No, but it'd be the easiest thing in the world to put out basically the equivalent of a Google alert for the name "Skywalker."

Palpatine has the most sophisticated intelligence apparatus in the galaxy at his personal command and didn't think to set a server up to send a quiet alert if that name pops up?

>Also a holster for a lightsaber.

You don't really know what a holster is, do you?

Seriously, can you drop the bullshit and put into any detail what make a Jedi robe a Jedi robe? Because you've yet to do that.

No, why the fuck would he?

He doesn't know the children are alive.

Do you seriously think that?

>specific style of tunic
Except not all those "not a Jedi" Jedis were wearing tunics, let alone a specific style of them.

I am.

There are variations in military uniforms too. And some Jedi, for whatever reason, appear to dress out of uniform.

What makes a Jedi robe a Jedi robe? Give the details in your reply.

Describe Jedi robes to me like I ain't never seen Jedi robes in a way that describes all those Jedi robes, but not other non-Jedi robes.

Vader directly states that he knew Padme was alive when he left her. Palpatine knows he's lying when he tells Vader she was found dead. Either one of them should've been able to puzzle it out.

Fuck, at least they bothered to call Leia "Leia Organa" instead of "Leia Skywalker".

>What makes a Jedi robe a Jedi robe? Give the details in your reply.

Jedi robes were simple and comfortable, long, flowing robes, including an overtunic, an undertunic, a cloak or outer robe with a hood, and sometimes a tabard, each of which generally varied in earth tones.[3] However, there were some Jedi that wore Jedi robes in other colors. Vandar Tokare and Zhar Lestin, for instance, would wear blue robes around the time of the Jedi Civil War, while their contemporary Vrook Lamar wore red robes. Robe colors sometimes spoke to the type of Jedi wearing them, such as with the gray robes associated with Gray Jedi in the time of the Old Republic.[4] Jedi would often shed their cloaks in combat, as the additional fabric could be caught on objects or the opponent's lightsaber, and was often distracting and hindering for the wearer

Four thousand years later, towards the fall of the Old Republic, Anakin Skywalker wore robes ranging from dark brown to black, with the tabard made of synthetic leather. Jedi from Corellia usually wore green robes as a way to distinguish themselves and stand out from the rest of the Order.[5] As a rule, the left side of the dress was always turned on the right part of the torso. The overtunic and tabard commonly had two symmetric pieces of cloth in the front hanging beneath and sewn at the waist, which stopped around the knees. However, as with Saesee Tiin, the overtunic was pleated. The overtunic could be shorter than knee-length or as long as ankle-length, of which the latter became common by the Rebellion era. The overtunic, undertunic, and tabard were of the same measurements.

>Either one of them should've been able to puzzle it out.

Ergo he should therefore have in place a Google alert in case the name Skywalker pops up?

No, you fucking idiot. That's an enormous gap in logic. Palpatine has a fucking Empire to run and all of his enemies have been crushed into the dust and driven into pathetic hiding.

This notion you have that Skywalker being a name that would blip on Imperial radar is laughable.

Jedi garments further consisted of plain loose-fitting trousers and an obi. The obi matched in color with the overtunic. Jedi garb sometimes included an undershirt, and like the undertunic it often replaced, it generally contrasted in hue with the overtunic. The Jedi also wore leather utility belts, where they carried specialized field gear—such as food and tool pouches, a breather pouch, and energy and food capsules—and leather boots.[6] By the time of the fall of the Old Republic, there was also a special black cloak of Jedi mastership. The Ho'Din Jedi Master Plett was known to wear one.[7]

Diplomatic Jedi commonly wore soft boots, while active agents dressed in sturdy field boots made of nerf hide that sometimes had ridged soles.[6] A transition between these boot types can be seen with Jedi Master Saesee Tiin from the time of the Battle of Naboo to the Clone Wars. These articles of clothing frequently came in earth tones as well.[5] Jedi clothing was very functional as the robes were thermo-sensitive, helping protect the wearer from the elements, and allowed for great maneuverability.

While the exact appearance of the Jedi robes varied from individual to individual and from era to era, the basic concept of simplicity and functionality was present up to the time of the Great Jedi Purge.

>Vandar Tokare
>Zhar Lestin
>Vrook Lamar
>Gray Jedi

Literal fanfiction. Not canon.

>what's wrong with your faaaace

That doesn't apply to all those pictures of Jedi I posted, yet could apply to or, Hell, even Jawas. It's pretty clear there isn't any such thing as a style of "Jedi robe."

Also what you're quoting is based on EU stuff that's no longer canon and, even when it was, wasn't from the movies.

see

Why would anyone be looking for Kenobi or Jedi in A New Hope? They're all supposed to be dead. Tarkin says it himself: Vader is all that's left of the Jedi.

The honest truth here is the props department gave an extra the first outfit they could find because the production of the original Star Wars was incredibly strained and Lucas didn't have all this later shit written at the time.

It's the same reason there's a guy in a wolfman mask chilling at the bar in the cantina.

This literally amounts to "Palpatine could not imagine a hidden enemy would hide that incompetently."

>It's the same reason there's a guy in a wolfman mask chilling at the bar in the cantina.

You show some fucking respect to Lak Sivrak, you pleb. He fucked his worm waifu and became a Force Ghost and lived with her on Endor for all eternity. Recognize.

>He fucked his worm waifu and became a Force Ghost and lived with her on Endor for all eternity. Recognize.
Hahaha, that does sound like something the old school EU would do, I wonder what his real story is-

>Lak Sivrak, sometimes known only as Sivrak, was a Shistavanen male scout who sometimes worked for the Uvena System Constabulary. Sivrak obtained fame working for the Galactic Empire, unaware of the tyranny of his employers. Sivrak then found a hidden settlement of members of the Alliance to Restore the Republic and, lacking political convictions, decided to help them. He discovered their status as fugitives and swore not to report them. However, the Empire found the settlement nonetheless and discovered that Sivrak had not reported it. Sivrak became a fugitive of the Empire, and was forced to hide from the stormtroopers in Mos Eisley.

>Sivrak visited the local Chalmun's Spaceport Cantina and there he met Dice Ibegon, a Force-sensitive Florn Lamproid that convinced him to join the Alliance with her. Ibegon and Sivrak became lovers and fought the Empire together. While the Shistavanen had initially followed her only to court her, Sivrak became a proud Rebel warrior, fierce opponent of the Empire and member of Alliance Intelligence. Ibegon died during the Battle of Hoth, and a heartbroken Sivrak kept on fighting, honoring her last wish.

>Sivrak was a starfighter pilot during the Battle of Endor. His starship was damaged beyond repair and his death could be imminent. It was then that Dice Ibegon contacted him again, using the Force to give him a last chance: He could rewrite history, turning his back to the Alliance when he had first met Ibegon in the cantina, knowing that he would have to suffer and die otherwise. Sivrak chose to stay with his beloved, and joined her as a Force ghost after his heroic death at Endor.

How's he hiding incompetently? Dude is wearing a robe in Star Wars, a movie series where lots of people wear robes. He seems to be blending in pretty well.

Also, the guy spent most his time on Tatooine as a hermit, away from people.

Also, that lightsaber he carries around and uses in public would be a bigger giveaway than his robes. Kid Anakin doesn't see Qui-Gon and say "only Jedi wear robes" after all.

Never question EU.

Dude is wearing the exact same outfit he wore all the time while training darth vader personally, a robe that is at least - to satisfy your impressive level of autism - at least, MANY Jedi wore, and very few if any non-Jedi wore.

He then hides under his real name to watch the bad guy's son living with the bad guy's family on the planet the bad guy came from.

He then demonstratedhis Force powers to locals, to at least the point where someone calling him a wizard doesn't come off as weird or worth a question.

To be fair, the only time he uses a lightsaber, he was leaving the planet anyway. But I do question why he didn't just jedi mind trick the guy, other than because GL has a fetish for dismemberment.

>Norba Nuum was the daughter of Cabrool Nuum and the sister of Rusk Nuum. Although she seemed to be quiet and reserved alongside her brother, Norba was in fact the most ambitious of Cabrool's children. When Rusk had Jabba Desilijic Tiure locked in the dungeon for refusing to kill family enemy Vu Chusker, Norba freed him on the condition that he kill her brother for her, thereby making her the sole heir to the Nuum family's criminal empire. However after Jabba killed Rusk, Norba betrayed him, ordering her guards to take Jabba back to the dungeon for murdering her brother.

>Later, Norba came down to Jabba's cell and offered to set him free if he promised to kill Vu Chusker, even showing him the key that would unlock the door of the cell. Sick and tired of this back and forth business, Jabba told Norba he would whisper his answer to her. When Norba leaned in close to listen, Jabba's tongue snaked out and grabbed Norba, pulling her through the window in the cell door and into his mouth. He proceeded to eat her alive, and she was powerless to do anything to stop him. After a valiant but brief struggle, Norba vanished into Jabba's maw, her quest for power and riches never to be fulfilled. In her final moments as her mouth filled with Jabba's slime and her nose with the stench of Jabba's rancid breath, she dropped the key right into Jabba's hand, allowing the Hutt to escape the dungeon. She was the last of the Nuum House to be killed, after her father and brother.

>M'iiyoom Onith, also known as Nightlily, was a female H'nemthe from the planet H'nemthe. She spent her life on her homeworld until she was selected to travel the galaxy and find a mate from outside of her culture. During her journeys, she ran out of credits and became stranded in the spaceport city of Mos Eisley on Tatooine, where she was courted by the Gotal tax collector Feltipern Trevagg. Trevagg found Onith physically intoxicating and intended to desert her after a single night of passion, but won her affection by telling her that he would marry her. Onith in turn fell madly in love with Trevagg.

>After Trevagg showed her some of the sights of Mos Eisley, he brought her to a cantina and ordered her several alcoholic drinks. He slipped a Love-Wallop pill into one of them, hoping to more easily seduce her, and the two then went to the Mos Eisley Inn and consummated their love. As per H'nemthe custom, Onith used her razor-sharp tongue to murder Trevagg immediately after making love, and soon after returned to her homeworld. Notorious for being the first female of her species to attempt mating with a non-H'nemthe, she began speaking publicly about her experience.

>Laser gates, also known as electron walls, were designed to protect high-security or dangerous areas by sealing them off with a wall of energy.

>Laser gates were installed in the Plasma Refinery Complex on Naboo. The barriers were strong enough to easily block a lightsaber strike and would vaporize any matter that touched them. However, the generators were unable to keep up the immense energy needed to power the gates, and so they would cycle on and off approximately every five minutes. Each gate remained open for only around ten seconds before cycling on again.

>MANY Jedi wore
Nope.

We see more Jedi wearing "Jedi robes" that don't match Kenobi's than we see wearing ones that do.

Nobody is going to look at Kenobi's "Jedi robes" and go "hey those are JEDI robes." Because they don't. That's not a scene. Because they're just robes and lots of people wear robes, especially on Tatooine.

people dont get that the review was a meta insult against TFA that went over people's heads.

He deliberatly attacked the prequels again as a rehash of his previous reviews just like TFA is just a complete rehash of a new hope.
He also did it to reiterate the idea that George Lucas is not some secrete genius and just copied ideas from the original trilogy bust mostly executed them badly because hes lazy and just used his movies as an envelope to push CGI.

Luke, did I ever tell you about Bidlo Kwerve? He was a Corellian pirate and smuggler who served Jabba Desilijic Tiure. A tall, grizzled man with scarred features and a mane of black hair, he was known for his greediness and hot temper, and was quick to respond to any perceived insults. Kwerve and a Twi'lek named Bib Fortuna competed to become Jabba's new majordomo after the Hutt deemed his previous retainer, Naroon Cuthus, too old and incapable of carrying out his duties. Kwerve and Fortuna hated each other with a passion and went to great lengths to prove themselves in Jabba's eyes, though Jabba considered each as incompetent as the other. Kwerve disliked Jabba's top pilot, Han Solo, and the two often clashed, both in words and with blasters. Around 2 BBY, he considered leaving Jabba's employ because of the continual menial tasks that were being asked of him, and though Fortuna encouraged him to quit, he never did. Shortly before the Battle of Yavin, Kwerve discovered a crashed ship in the Tatooinian desert, with a live rancor inside it. Hoping to present the beast to Jabba for his birthday, he begrudgingly sought the aid of Fortuna to help him transport it to Jabba's Palace. Jabba was impressed with the initiative shown by his two top lieutenants and offered to make one of them his new majordomo; the other would be given the "greater honor," though Jabba did not specify what this was. Ever greedy, Kwerve accepted the "greater honor"—he became the rancor's first victim and was devoured in a pit below Jabba's court.

Anyway, I only bring this up because about four hours ago you picked up his skull and threw it at a panel to drop a massive door down on that very same rancor. He got his revenge on the rancor... from a certain point of view.

Rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings within rings

>Nobody is going to look at Kenobi's "Jedi robes" and go "hey those are JEDI robes."
Canon, official sources identify them as Jedi robes.

So it's clear we're not arguing over the actual, established canon. What we're arguing over is your headcanon.

You can make up whatever bullshit you want in your own head, but it doesn't make it true.

POTTERY.

>Canon, official sources identify them as Jedi robes.
They're Jedi robes because they're robes that are worn by a single Jedi (specifically, Kenobi), not because they look a specific way because, as evidenced, there's no uniform look for the type of outfit the Jedi wear.

>Willrow Hood was a Human male miner who lived and worked on Cloud City, a floating station located above the gas giant Bespin. He worked for A'roFilter, a mining company sympathetic to the Alliance to Restore the Republic, as the head of the department responsible for dealing with the Rebel Alliance, supplying discounted Tibanna gas. Eventually, though, the Galactic Empire invaded and conquered the planet; in order to protect the Rebellion contacts Hood was responsible for, the miner took A'roFilter's main computer's memory core, as it contained the encrypted information on Rebel contacts. After finding the nearest disposal unit, Hood dumped the entire core, rather than risk it falling into the wrong hands; thus, Willrow Hood was able to save the Alliance's interests. Hood remained on Cloud City throughout the Imperial occupation, suffering imprisonment and torture but revealing nothing.

>Eventually, he joined together with Tian Chyler, a former Imperial Security Bureau agent disenfranchised with the Empire who had defected, transmitting information on Cloud City's Imperial-run defense systems. Utilizing this information, the Alliance was able to liberate the planet from the Empire's control. After the Rebels' victory, Hood decided to take it easy.

>Sio Bibble was the governor of Naboo, and the head of the Royal Advisory Council. At first, he served under King Ars Veruna, and was highly critical of the young woman touted to succeed him: Padmé Amidala. When Veruna eventually decided to abdicate, however, Bibble was instrumental in preparing Amidala as his successor. In time, he changed his opinion of her, and became one of her staunchest supporters. Some time into her reign, Station TFP-9, on the outer edges of the Naboo system, was attacked by a pack of Agamari pirates. Despite interfacing with the Agamari government in the wake of the attack, Bibble was unable to verify their involvement, although he did learn that they had been hoping to steal several of the Naboo Royal Space Fighter Corps' N-1 starfighters.

>The following year, Naboo was blockaded by the Trade Federation, who were protesting the Galactic Senate's new taxation of trade routes. Captain Quarsh Panaka, the head of Amidala's security, called for an increase in Naboo's armament, but Bibble disagreed with him vehemently. In due course, the Federation went so far as to invade the planet, arresting Bibble and the Queen. While Amidala was able to escape with the aid of two Jedi Knights, the governor elected to stay, and speak for his people. He led them in a hunger strike, and earned the ire of the Trade Federation Viceroy, Nute Gunray. Eventually, Amidala returned, and, allying herself with Boss Rugor Nass of the Gungans, was able to defeat the Federation, and free the planet. Bibble continued to serve Amidala's successor, Queen Jamillia, up until the Clone Wars. During that pan-galactic conflict, Jamillia was succeeded by Neeyutnee and her by Apailana, under both of whom Bibble also served.

If you want to post the scene where someone says "hey look that guy is wearing Jedi robes he's a Jedi" and then Kenobi is like "oh shit" go for it but otherwise nobody notices him because he's just a dude in robes and tons of people wear robes in Star Wars.

>Solomahal, a male Lutrillian, was a general in the Grand Army of the Republic and a veteran of the Clone Wars and other conflicts. Famous for liberating the Wode and defeating the Sun Guard's 2nd Regiment, Solomahal had become a general by the time of the Clone Wars, during which he commanded a secret Galactic Republic base on Azure. In 20 BBY, Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker and Siri Tachi transported a unique codebreaker to Azure, but were followed by Separatist forces; Solomahal refused to surrender in the ensuing battle and was eventually captured by the Separatists. The Lutrillian prevented the codebreaker from falling into CIS hands, destroying it, and was able to escape custody and return to the line of duty.

>After the close of the war and the establishment of the New Order, Solomahal became a fugitive, wanted by the Empire. The Lutrillian went into hiding, becoming a scout-for-hire operating out of the planet Tatooine; he often helped sentients escape from the Empire in Greater Javin. Solomahal was a regular in Chalmun's Cantina, and it was here where he met Tzizvvt, a secretive Brizzit treasure hunter. The two became fast friends and embarked on many adventures together.

>they're robes that are worn by a single Jedi (specifically, Kenobi)
Tell that to George Lucas then.

>Chachi De Maal was a female Duros who, like most of her species, was a pilot and starship engineer. She often worked for the Corporate Sector Authority and trained other pilots for deep space missions. Chachi was native to Jivv Space City, a large orbiting metropolis on Duro, but eventually left to start up business on Tatooine with her husband, Ohwun De Maal. Together, the two owned several docking bays in Mos Eisley, including Docking Bay 27, 43, 67, 71, 86, and 94. They also owned the droid WED-9-M1. In the two Duros line of work in which shady characters were constantly renting our their ship storage facilities, they were known to use several well-known aliases. Among Chachi's aliases were Baniss Keeg and Probos.

>Chachi and her husband were present in Chalmun's Cantina during the fateful encounter of Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. It just so happened that Solo had been storing his ship, the Millennium Falcon in their Docking Bay 94. When Solo and his cargo blasted out of the docking bay to escape the Galactic Empire, they forgot to pay their bill, irritating Owhun and his wife and souring their previously friendly relationship with Jabba Desilijic Tiure. The couple was also known to have smuggled bacta to the Rebel Alliance in their freighter, Millanti.

Within the canon, within the movies, nobody recognizes his robes as "Jedi robes" because the robes Jedi wear vary in looks and don't look any different than the robes normal people wear in Star Wars.

>Within the canon, within the movies
Which is it? Within the canon or within the movies? Be specific, now.

What I said was that canon, official sources identify them as Jedi robes. If you want to move the goalposts to exclude them, then say that's what you're doing.

That isn't the same outfit that Kenobi wears. This non-Jedi here is wearing an outfit closer to what Kenobi wears.

>Within the canon or within the movies?

Seeing as how only the movies are canon, those are the same thing.

A New Hope: Kenobi wears his "Jedi robes" in town and not a single person, including Stormtroopers, recognize them as "Jedi robes."

Again, if you have a scene where they're recognized as Jedi robes, go for it. Otherwise, they look like just robes.

>Within the canon or within the movies?
Are you stupid? The movies are canon.