So, I just fled the country

So, I just fled the country.

Just needed to get away for a while. I left without telling anyone. I wanna go on a reckless drugfuled adventure for a few weeks.

The question is: How long to I wait for optimal shock value when I make my return. If I come back too early, no one will care, and if I come back too late, everyone will have stopped caring.

Whaddya think Cred Forums?

Burn your identification, and take your teeth out. Then get killed in a remote area.

You should find out why you crave the attention. You're still thinking like a child.

>The question is: How long to I wait for optimal shock value when I make my return. If I come back too early, no one will care, and if I come back too late, everyone will have stopped caring.

Exactly 5 weeks.

You want to go on a drug fueled adventure just for the attention of people where you are right now? Just od dumb bitch

...

I don't care now

Moar blondie

When you find yourself sucking dick to buy drugs, you should probably think about heading home. This is how the streetwalkers do it.

Enjoy your adventure!

That's Dakota Skye.

To the day.
No more, no less.

Moar

no one gives a single fuck about you and no one ever will. stop caring and move on you pathetic cunt

Wait one year and four months. Its long enough that people will think you're seriously gone, and that it isn't an attempt at attention -- but not so long that they can have you declared legally dead.

And, for maximum shock value:
>Start speaking with an unusual accent that no one can quite place.
>Get yourself a mysterious tattoo. (Bonus points for cryptic symbology, a Soldier of Fortune/mercenary unit, or a foreign language that no one understands)
>Return with a child. No "mother". No other explanation.
>Leave a weathered map around for someone to find. Make sure it includes: actual Longitude and Latitude (in case anyone bothers to look that shit up), dotted lines in different colors that might indicate roads, and vague symbology that matches your new tattoo.
>Arrange for a service to call your phone at odd hours. When it does, look spooked, and hurriedly walk out of the room to take the call

Those are just starter ideas. It also helps if a member of your family is superstitious, paranoid, or conspiracy-minded.


This post will self-destruct when the thread 404's.
Good luck, user.

Nah, the dramatic return is an extra. It's mostly about the drug fuled adventures.

Then go have the adventures and return when you feel they are winding down, who gives a fuck what people think

Too late. I;ve already been gone a month and a half.
five weeks isnt really enough time to get away, find a place to stay, get into some decent trouble, and then return, all while staying off the internet.

>This post will self-destruct when the thread 404's.

Kek

where did you go OP? did you flee the states?

I have enough money saved up to avoid sucking dick thnkfully. and i'm crashing on a friends couch right now so no rent, but i'd look into renting a place for a month or so if i stay a while

Thanks, dad.

moar plans user.

Think about how funny it would be tho

Whats the best/coolest/funnyiest way to make a return?!

Nah, im a eurofag.
One of the white, english speaking euro fags though, so it could be worse.

welcome to Amsterdam my britfag

i wish you well upon your travels OP. i wish i had the courage to do something like that.
grow a beard before you come back so you look weathered

Got both where I am, and where I went wrong, but SOLID fucking guess my dude.

Already grown out the beard in preperation.
Thank you user. meme magic will protect me on my journey.

where I am from*

Whatever romantic idea that you have “planned” for this period of time will fail, and you will die like the rest and be another number in another statistic that some college kid will reference for a sub-par essay for a meaningless degree.
Fuck you OP.

You projecting a lil' bit there buddy?

I hate my life.

couple of years

>How long to I wait for optimal shock value when I make my return

What if u die lol

Best possible outcome.

Make them have to ID you at the morgue
That would be priceless

If you are rich, I’d make sure you come to America and score some Oxycodone. Best. Drug. Ever.

Pic related

At least 2 years, no more than 5.

>Oxycodone. Best. Drug. Ever.
Spotted the underage faggot who just had his wisdom teeth removed

What if I do, bitch?!