Speed Skating

Women's team pursuit qualifications
Men's 500m finals

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pollmill.com/f/what-is-the-size-of-kazuko-iwamoto-s-nipple-6ex86b8
m.sports.naver.com/pc2018/news/read.nhn?oid=076&aid=0003217608
m.youtube.com/watch?t=5s&v=X0S8HmApSvg
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

SOON

500m is starting now!

we haven't had a gold in a while, it's time

tfw NL has the best 3 riders for the 500m but it's not 2 races anymore just the 1 so we might get lucked out of a sweep

Lorentz would normally be the only one able to beat us (tho depending on how much Verbij has recovered from his injury)

it's time

This thread feels a little awkward with the women's team pursuit quali being over already

>can't do a bradbury
shit sport

Singles and HHL wins a medal.

USA USA USA

are you ready kids?

I've never watched speed skating before, what do I need to know?

USA wins

wewinlol

Netherlandswinslol

>this commentator'

WHAT THE FUCK

Poutala is going to win this, right?

>they now become the leaders
yeah no fucking shit they're the first pair

do they make the outside skater start further up, so the distances are the same?

i already know that lol

No, pic related

Its Jimmy Fallon in the baby blue

I fucking love Poutala. Obviously I wish for another sweep, but if not let Poutala have a cheeky bronze

in some distances that is necessary, but here they both start 100m straight from the finish and then both have an outside curve and an inside curve so same distance

World Cup races this season.

TRIPS FOR FINLAND GOLD

just

I would be really happy with that. Poutala's a great guy, but he's been just that slight distance behind the absolute best throughout his career. I don't think he believes in his win enough to take the gold, but I'd be happy to be proven wrong.

oh i see, i didn't realize they switched tracks

close

Can any of these men beat 9.58s for fastest 100m? That's Bolt's WR for fastest on land.

fucking euros. diversify your flags

This is the finals, how many runs do they get?

That US half Griffin guy is a music prodigy that does classic music at Carnegie Hall at 17.

All Russians are banned.

who false started? it didn't look like it

also why don't they give them a starting block?

A

>leaf

Every olympian is like that, they all were born into rich privileged families who had them training in their craft as a child.

Our commentator says it's obvious that it was the Italian guy but you could have fooled me

Any chance someone other than the Netherlands wins this one? Who is good?

>Usain Bolt can literally run the 100m faster than these manlets can skate it

Never watched one of these cause netherlandswinslol but I heard we have a chance in this one so I'll have a look

1

tripfag fuck off

Your long track team this year thinks blue makes them go faster. That's all you need to know about it.

Did he dab???

Was that guy dabbing

how are pairs decided, and in what order do they go? are there seeds?

>what is friction

Why do Dutchcucks only care about speed skating?

thought that was an emoji

pollmill.com/f/what-is-the-size-of-kazuko-iwamoto-s-nipple-6ex86b8

Start list

why do they use an electric gun for this (for timing reasons) but a real gun for biathlon, xc, etc?

also i wish the cbc announcer would stop saying "lap and a quarter" before each one

I'd guess because it's inside.

aerodynamic

>morinaga chocoball
最高wwww

i mean, wouldn't they want to use an electric one for all events, for exact/computer-measured timing reasons?

>Ching-yang Sung

Lorentzen (norwegian) and Lacroix (Canadian) have a real shot

>Chinese Taipei
Pathetic, why does everyone bow to China

I literally know the guy, stop lying about him on the internet lol.

PMSL

why do they take their hoods off IMMEDIATELY after the finish line?

KEK

Lol

In staggered-start events like Biathalon everyone's time starts when they cross the starting line, in other words the people in the far back technically start later than the people up front. For that reason the starting line is responsible for starting the timer, not the gun.

At least that's my limited understanding of it.

That's what CBC commentators said.

>plumber

>poland
OHNONONONO

THE CURSE OF THE SLIP

To show that they have nice hair.
Everyone looks like absolute shit with the hood on.
I'm always surprised when women skate and take off their hood at the end and surprisingly there's a real qt under it

POLAND
O
L
A
N
D

taiwan is not china, the IOC just doesn't want to anger china so they're forced to call it "chinese taipei" (which is a weird meaningless name. taipei is a city)

ah, good point. thanks.

AW SHIT

>state of polish speedskating
F

shit's uncomfy

>boland

KURWAAAAAAAAA

lol pekka :DDDDD

What was that Pole's game plan?

Why are American women so butch dyke?

LMAO BOLAND :DDDDDDDDD

Aw man I feel so bad for that guy kek

Hope the Colombian stays in a medal position. It will be Latin America's first Winter Olympics medal if he does.

nice job Poland

That's gonna leave a big emotional scar.

Time for binland domination

why do you ignore any reply asking you why you use the trip?

PEKKA
E
K
K
A

question Cred Forums Is this the only race they do?

Would you cut off your penis to be more aerodynamic and save 0.02 seconds to win gold instead of bronze?

>it was all an elaborate ruse to sabotage the next runner starting at that position

oh shit its pekka

Just tuned in, what happened to Poland?

poo embarrassing commonwealth again

TORTILLE

leave the top 3 as is tbhqwy

yes

me too!

PEKKAAA :DDDDDD

...

GO PEKKA!!!! SUOMI!!!!

>Colombian
>plata
>no plomo

not bad

...

kek, cheers m8

>implying you need your benis when you have a god spot inside of you bumbum to give you orgasms
>implying you wouldnt make a lot more money as a gold medal winner than a bronze winner

Get dat cash homie, chop it off!

hahaha no

Dutchbros, what’s an ‘omloop’ they’re talking about all the time. Something about new rules?

>t. speedskating noob

>saying "fuck" instead of kurwa

Benis in sbandex :DDD

...

>omloop
Ben je kankerdom ofzo? Ff serieus

>NBC

>US fucking up our race

Thanks mutts

What's with the autistic "gotta get into starting position slowly and then not move at all" rules?
Why does it matter? As long as everyone starts right on time who cares?

Fucking shit sport, give me biathlon back.

wtf is up with the crotch of the us outfit

>Smeekens carried the flag

Is he the most decorated speed skater or something? Thought Kramer was.

rip colombia bro :(

RIP Colombian

>that Dutch bulge

1st, ez

Netherlandswinslol

Looked fucking quick from the start.

Lad I’m not Dutch, I’m just here.

wtf rigged

>fucker over by Dutch starters
KEKED

34,93 shouldn't be good enough for podium RIP sweep

Too slow Smeekens, no medal for you.

haha he's called bum

TAE BUM LMAO

Mika better get a medal

>the American blowing his snot onto the ice

lel

I want to stuff my face in their spandex thicc sweaty thighs goddamn

this. can anyone explain?

wasn't japan in first?

Gook was flying kek.

Lol korea choke

Korean choke lmao

Columbian guy lost his place on the podium. Japanese guy still 2nd

Holy shit, the Korean was fast af. But he drifted too much into the outside track.

"russian handkerchief" as we call it here

Tingyu master race

>furry
fuck off bitterballen

>joji
yeah but colombia was 3rd, first south american medal at the winter games if that held

Ya, they beat Usain in the 100m. The Korean guy that just went got a 9.64s in the first 100m. The whole 500m race is over in under 35 seconds.

When are the canadian skating? those low skill bufoon bore me

l-lewd :3c

>putting your hand on the ice
what the fuck

oh i see. sad :(

(You)

why isn't joji's outfit pink

How was that a false start? So confused.

13th, 14th and 18th pair. 12th pair now.

whoa

In Sochi Smeekens finished second on the 500m with 0.012 seconds difference, and the scoreboard in the stadium showed him in first placed initially. So he thought he won but it was later corrected. It's a little bit of a pity choice but he's also the current world champion on the 500m so it's deserved

How do they have such fluffy hair?
>take off hood
>hair floofs up like that
Fucking chinks give me your good hair genes

>9.47s start

there we have it

kankerchinees ga lekker frietjes bakken

These gooks are fast.

Goddamn squint eyes stealing our medals

Goddamn Chinese people are ugly

whitebois BTFO

Stop responding to tripfags.

fuck off tripfag

gook doesn't mean chinese/japanese, idiot

Is 500m the most popular distance in speedskating? Like how 100m is bigger than 200m/500m/1km/etc in the summer olympics?

Wish there was biathlon every day so I didn't have to watch this

What? No he can't.

Can anyone answer this?

You gonna watch team ski jumping later lad?
I think Norway and Germany are favorites

It's the most exciting distance because of the huge variance

>gook doesn't mean chinese/japanese, idiot
>hurr durr asians are different

This leaf sucked ass.

>got bronze in 2015
>won't be top-10 here

Let's see our other 2.

No, I'm getting my hair cut by my novice sister which takes literally 2-3 hours

low-tier humor, try better

ignore tripfags

I am so looking forward to it

No, the 1500m is considered the King Distance
also take off your fucking trip already you retarded attentionfag

Korea pls go

how old

BASED KOREA
PLS KEK THE SHITTERLANDS OUT OF GOLD PLS

Holy fugg

Because you start behind a line, starting to move before the shot means you get a head start and can cross the line as soon as the shot is fired. This is an advantage if you are able to predict the shot and its 'luck', thus just telling them to stand still until the shot is the most fair solution.

gook first

These gooks are fast.

How do they determine who skates in the inside and outside lanes?

fugg

ORANGEFAGS BTFO

She? 24

refblade

Another shit leaf.

>Asians win lol

jesus christ, that fucking finish

Fucking superhuman asians

hory shiet

Are you crazy? Watch it while getting that haircut.
>2-3 hours
what the fuck, is your hair 2m long?

O L Y M P I C

R E C O R D

HOLY SHIT
THAT'S ACTUALLY INSANE

Lowland WR is 34,31 btw

THEY SHOULD HAVE NUKED THESE CHINKS

holy shit, can that record hold? hopefully aquafresh btfo

where are you whiteboys?

It doesn’t really matter since the track is the same distance anyway.

gookswinlol

WAS

REMOVE NETHERLANDS FROM THE PODIUM YEEEES
NO MEDALS FOR THOSE SHITTERS

Why isnt Apollo Ono racing?

This fucking starter fucking sucks get rid of him

how do they determine the pairs (who skates against who), and the order they go?

She has like a teacher judging it afterwards and has to fix anything she missed. I have normal length hair. Apparently there's all these rules about length and symmetry that hair dressers have to know about. I just thought they cut it until it looked nice.

REMOVE KANKER

Just arrived, I'm assuming we got BTFO again as always?

>so terrible at speedskating he has to hate on countries who are good.

Just like world wars, right Hans?

Verbij 34.3 incoming and you know it

1. He doesn’t do long track
2. He retired like 8 years ago, man.

He's been shit the whole Olympics. Unnecessarily long.

Not so fast mein freund;)

Fucking this

Surely it matters a bit if you have to take the more narrow inner bend right after the demanding acceleration?

Sorry I have no respect for countries that get all their medals from a single sport.

>finland
>literally who this olympics
:(

33 incoming

Those wide ass fucking turns.

1 Dutch guy left. Is Verbij any good?

Qualification times: slowest to fastest

It's no fair

>tfw he's dutch

It actually kinda matters
Start on the outside and you get the benefit of chasing after the other skater during the trackchange (so slight drafting) BUT it's easier to go top speed in the outside lane so some people prefer having that as their final corner

>yfw Dutch don't even medal

this toothpaste fucker will slip

OH BOY HERE WE GO

Koskela did decently, Poutala is in the last pair.

Came back from injury, this'll be his first real race after.

50/50 will do well or choke.

hes a gook

Does the person finishing on the inside lane always win?

They're keeping an eye on false starts better now.

AHAHAHA IT'S OVER FOR NEDDERKEKS

WHAT IS HAPPENING

NORWAY WINS

DAMN NORWAY are you serious

H Å V A R D
Å
V
A
R
D

Those suits are a lot less thick than I expected.

Why does it look like they're really slowing down at the finish? They're just exhausted?

CAN'T STOP WINNING

Norwaywinslol

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LMAOOO

wtf norway!

NO
NO
FUCK NOT NORWAY THEY CAN'T GET ANY MORE GOLD NO THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANTED I TAKE IT ALL BACK PLS GIVE IT TO NETHERLANDS

no :(

>Norge takes gold

IT'S NOT FAIR

Based verbij will win anyway you cucks

CHEEKY NORWAY GOLD?!

ASTHMA MEDICATION

Shiiiit

WTF I didn't want that give the medal to Netherlands after all

fuck off mof

Suddenly Norway.

>possibly can get a guld in something other than skiing

wut.

>0.01
HORY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
HOW WILL KOREA EVER RECOVER

lol wat

At first place where we belong

>:(

Hahahah this thread :d gz asthmabros

H-hey sorry Netherbros can you pls get gold after all?
We can't let Norway get more gold medals okay? We're bros.

Based Valhalla cleaning up at the Olympics

Time to get on the Ventolin.

Why are skaters faster in higher altitudes?

That's lewd af. Is he adopted or some shit?

They already have medals in other stuff.

I think we might see a WR lads

>NO MEDALS

Never liked this gay sport anyway lmao

YES

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

no medal how is this possible

less gravity

Get cucked, should have rooted for us in the first place.

MEDAL BOIS

BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD BINLAND GOLD

Absolutely shit the bed.

less air resistance

WHERE IS THE SWEEP WHAT IS HAPPENING

what does this mean?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME

I dont think this semen slurping sport is for me.

Dutchies BTFO

This semen slurping sport is for me lads

>Lead by 0.2 seconds
>Finish 0.4 seconds behind
What a choke.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

SAVE US BINLAND

Wtf is with these Asians. Fast 100m, shit in 500m.

>expecting a medal on 500m
idiots

W-What...w-what happend?

FINLAND OR CANADA PLS MAKE THE MIRACLE HAPPEN
WE NEED TO STOP NORGE

It's no use

binland :--DDDDDDD

AND THE DUTCH ARE SEETHING

>ORANGEFAGS gloating that they will sweep the medals
>get BTFO by Asia and one random Norwegian whoss probably doping.

>counting on binland to win
kek

They get the inside curve , so they have an easier early time, but then they lose it by going wide in the next.

will finland win it all? go suomi!!!

>1. White
>2. Asian
>3. Asian
>4. Asian
>5. Asian
Yellow men getting cucked.

DO IT POUTALA

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

fuuuuuuuuug :DDDD :D

>4th

>no medal again

GULL GULL GULL
DET BLIR GULL
DET BLIR GULL
DET BLIR GULL
DET BLIR GULL
GULL GULL GULL

I knew it

the gook is random not the norwegian guy

God damnit, btfo by just .01 seconds, I am definitely mad

FUCK THIS SHIT

A S T H M A
S
T
H
M
A

Holy shit.

haha Norway

GULL!!!

>fucked another good start
kek

Binland no

>everybody who finishes on the inside wins

Bad sport

Getting the noose atm. Can't fucking believe this

i just want finland to win something ;_;

asian power

NO

hello did we just win gold?

Finland: the fourth place winners of the world

Nooooooo Mika ;_;

Eternal 4th Poutala
afla.jpg

>NO LEAF INSIDE TOP-10

GAY SPORT GAY SPORT GAY SPORT

This is why they used to do 2 races, one starting inside and one outside.

You did. Congratulations!

skål!

FUCK OFF HAHAHAHA SHITINLAND NO GOLD HAHAHA.

this is bullshit, its the same distance and it means you can chase your contestant after the first turn which helps (usually)

>Mika Fourthtala

DEN GLIDER INN

Must've taken some of Norway's ski team medicine

FIRST 500M GOLD SINCE 1948

>nordopers

Poutala still did pretty well. Our guys were nervous as fuck unfortunately

Tainted Norway medal, his coach is Canadian, he trains in Canada...

shit sport tb h

Thanks

I hereby demand IOC to ban Finland from participating in olympics forever to save our face.

WE. CAN'T. WIN.

Fuck Harvard niggers. Yale 4 Life.

shut up k*ppers

sounds like canada got cucked.

ez

GZ norway, alpha white male btfo's chinks, i'm happy

APOLOGISE

Fucking norway !

Can we ban asthma pumpers with anabolics next olympics?

What the fuck is this shit...

kek

business idea: shadow ban all tripfags

I can't fucking watch this anymore.
First the chokes in xc and biathlon and now this. I feel so bad for Mika. That 50km classic will be nerve-racking

They could also do it like the cycling where they start on opposite sides of the ring. That way both people get the same inside/outside route.

>Finland says inside his lane around the final corner
>Just loses
Moral champion.

>I wonder which lane is better to start in

>Mika Fourthala

>Richmond 2009
>Inzel 2011
>Kolomna 2016
>Pyeongyang 2018

JUST!

>he hasn't filtered queerpers already

It's 6 Am and I'm drunk and watch Coaches Corner featuring Laura Dyken

How come South Korea is so shit in team pursuit? Their individual skaters are good at speed/short track, but their team pursuit is garbage.

wow, first Norwegian 500m gold in 70 years

Norway is en-route to beat the all-time gold record at the Winter Olympics. Canada won 14 in Vancouver 2010.

s-sorry finland

kek

I might kill myself

this is tasteless. glad you didn't win

i wish

>korea

gold again tonight and tomorrow. ez

pls no ;_;

I'm actually going crazy, we're wasting our money on these losers

hopefully we win team skijumping today aswell

NOOOO

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

Tanks Canada for Jeremy Wotherspoon

can you lads teach me some finnish curse words

You still have hockey today.

ruotsalainen :^)
Nah, saatana vittu perkele is basic

please don't

Vitun aussirunkkari, pidä turpas kiinni perkele. Saatana ebin :Dd

Traitor to Canada. He doesn't train Canadians.

thanks ioc for banning the russians
never could've done it without your help bros

What race is going on now? My broadcast isn't live I guess

m.sports.naver.com/pc2018/news/read.nhn?oid=076&aid=0003217608

>0.01

Well, congrats to Canadians aswell :P

CUT MY GOLD INTO PIECES
THESE ARE MY FINAL GAMES

what are the translations, i assume google translate fucks them up
it's over
norway gold

>that cheeky unexpected gold while every Norwegian's eyes are on the ski jumping event instead
Neat.

>it's over
oh well

shit, sorry for you

>that gigantic moose knuckle

>unexpected gold
He was one of the big favourites mate
Now Cha grabbing the cheeky silver, THAT was unexpected
Be prepared for that young chinese bronze to dominate in the coming years btw

Not really that unexpected, only Mulder was a bigger favourite.

Ruotsalainen = Swedish
Saatana = satan
vittu = fuck / pussy
Perkele doesn't have proper translation, devil is the closest

Other called you aussie fucker and told you to shut the fuck up

We're back in the saddle boys

After 5 decades

GOLDEN
E
N
E
R
A
T
ION

>Sweden and Finland can't into gold so Norway stacks them up by using asthma

Why not pretend you have """asthma""" problems as well???

If Norway can cheat so can others.

just admit he was doping and fuck off

m.youtube.com/watch?t=5s&v=X0S8HmApSvg

EVERY FUCKING TIME

U okay there bud

>Ruotsalainen = Swedish
finnish is fucked up

i say this as someone who speaks hungarian

>muh assma

>0.01 difference
Oh shit, the Noraway guy should brace for twitter/instagram terror by the Koreans.

what the fuck finland ;_;

Murdersled back on. Tune in to see Germany get BTFO.

olympics looked comfy as fuck back then. they were like running in someone's backyard

Words to live by :^)

Hungarian is close to Finnish

He was clearly joking, you told him to curse.

I'm angry because Norway trains here and they will break Canada's Vancouver gold record.

It's not fair! Winter is Canada's sport!

Can someone post to /wsg/ with a webm of the winning race?

i know, that's my point

hand over your gold and your lunch money loser

i was just pretending to be angry but seriously norway stop doping your athletes

>tasteless
>on Cred Forums

kek, go back to plebbit if you are soft

>hurr durr muh masculinity

A Norwegian was 0.002 away from winning the silver on the 5000m just a week ago. Glad we had the luck on our side this time.

>Norways first gold medal in speed skating in 20 years


RIKSHELT

KONGENS MEDALJE NÅ

>Inside lane wins

is there a rule saying how long your skate can be?

You'd be at a disadvantage if you had any longer skates, just look at this guy

i would imagine they are standardised

it's measured to the foot, not the skate

might have to do with slipstream

but on the image the lines are at the tip of the skate

i know, but from what i know it's actually measured to the foot

This is incorrect. Whoever breaks the line with their blade first wins.

norway bros, you have a good chance at another gold in ski jump event

I don't know if this is bait or not.

"No"

weird. 's point is correct then

don't reply to tripfags

They're not really standarised, if you have smaller feet your blades are shorter.

perhaps it is like 1.2x your foot size

would make more sense to just time it on the foot wouldnt it?

Feels good to win bronze lads, seeing as norgay roidmonkeys victory is illegitimate

since shoes generally have a rounded tip, it is probably hard to measure

Don't you have a sauna contract to sign or something?

>no medal

how the mighty have fallen

Don't you have some steroids to take? Your country is cheating and should be banned for life

lol

Preach it, Pekka!

I'd be more worried about Kuzmina passing the piss test. Beat Dahlmaier who had the 3rd fastest course time by 1 minute and 10 seconds on the Individual. Once a Russian, always a Russian.

How many boring skate competitions are there? I swear skating is the swimming of the Winter Olympics.
>let’s skate fast! Now let’s skate fast over a different distance! Now let’s skate fas5 over 20 more arbitrarily chosen distances! Yay! Hup Holland!
Boring as shit.