How do I stop being so jaded towards everyone Cred Forums?

Goddamn, that's fucked up

>end up dropping out after I lost my biggest supporter
>start working full time
>life is miserable since I’m still working 60 hour weeks and now again living at home with my abusive mom.
>almost kill myself by oding on Xanax
>days following were dark
>sitting at home one day after work
>thinking about finishing it
>remember girl who used to take care of me after my brother would beat me
>find her on social since I still had it
>take a shot in the dark
>send her a message
>she responds immediately
>we were both surprised and spend a few days catching up
>she lives In New York but is coming down to see family
>we set plans to meet
>she shows up at my door the next week
>have a wonderful time
>kick around our old home town
>she’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and full of energy
>by the end we are both saying how much we loved and missed eachother
>jokingly said I should go to New York and live with her
>she says whenever I want to
>fuckyeah.jpeg
Fast forward again to December
>again getting in my rut but feeling good that I have someone who cares about me
>joke with her that I should move there with her on Christmas Day as her present
>she tells me to do it
>quit job
>get bus ticket Christmas Eve
>go all 27 hours to New York
>get there and have the happiest time of my life

But it doesn’t stay like this I promise

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Because life is one big train wreck with a few short commercial breaks of happiness user. You just learn to either live with it, or off yourself.

Which is the right for you? I can't say. If you're not happy, try living for something other than yourself. Rescue abused animals, volunteer somewhere, hell. go fucking visit old people in nursing homes who's families have forgotten about them. Sometimes if you life sucks, you need to look outside at the bigger picture. Maybe then you'll forget about how much you hate yourself and can't trust people.

Good luck dude.

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where's the cont??

>two months in she has a episode
>freaking out and trying to kill herself
>tells me she was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder
>wtf
>mood swings make sense now
>okay we can still make this work
>next week
>she gets told she has to move back to home town
>we both are destroyed at this news since all our demons live in that town
>pack up move back
one year later
>she becomes a different person all together after moving back
>unannounced to me has been off her meds for most of this time and has been lying to me
>starts losing her grip on reality
>it shows
>finally get her back on medication
>she starts to stabilize and things are good for a while
2 years later
>things take a turn for the worst
>reconnects with her old friends
>she starts getting distant
>almost completely pushes me away
>find out they are supporting her not being on lithium
>ohfuck.jepg
>tried to tell her all the time they were bad for her
>she wouldn’t listen
>eventually breaks up with me over it
>Our life completely destroyed after 3 years
>she shacks up with a guy the next week who was giving her pills
>fucks her up even more
>what few friends I had left me
>can’t afford rent anymore since she left
>now living back at home
>about to move 3 hours away and never look back
>back to being alone as when I was abused as a kid

And this comes to present day give or take half a year. That’s just my story however. This isn’t why I’m jaded it’s just why I never have had a good experience with people. Maybe I just have horrible luck. Every meaningful relationship I get into just burns out and dies and pushes me furtheri to seclusion.

How come moving back home was the only option? Surely you two could've moved elsewhere?

):
i had a similar experience with a girl, it sucks watching them grow apart from you
stay strong op, move away and live your best life!
im rooting for you!!
30's are prime manhood!!!!
as for being jaded, is there truly any benefit in not being so?

>no concept of what that meant
user speaks the truth

Wow. I can completely relate. Fairly similar story to mine. Im stioll struggling. Depression is looming.

Advice? Focus on the most important things. Cut shitty people out of your life. You said you have a job? Cut mom out, cut this chick out, and focus on finding stable people to be around.

Seriously. Im completly broke. I have about $1.85 to my name right now. I dunno what Im going to do in the next 4 weeks. Im currently unemployed, and my bad back makes it tough to work.

POh, and I'm about 4k behind in rent. The only financial saving grace is taxes. Having 4 kids (I have custody) means a nice fat tax time. but thats a month or more away.

BTW, anyone wanna help me? heh (paypal.me/merlyworm)

Anyways, even with all that, Im SOOO much happier. I kicked abusing wife out of house. restraining order. Stopped talking to family that are dicks. and emotionally Im better now than in the last 25 yrs. Stay the course.

You might want to associate with people with few to no issues. They're more resilient than us and might be able to help you find that stability you seem to be searching for. Mentally ill women are a horrible burden to their significant other, Cred Forumsro.

Yeah, most people suck - especially girls. Get a dog

Thats not fair at all. I think maybe You should consider therapy. I did years of therapy, and it helped me realize that the shitty people I was around were my choice.

There are good women out there.

The problem with good women is they always have a boyfriend

Dont be one of those silly incels.

There's plenty of women that you could find. Im fat and ugly and old, and the only reason I havent dated after wife boot is Im more focused on surviving, etc.

Hold eye contact. Talk to them. Dont be a douche. Its not that hard.

>Mount boyfriend to assert dominance and she will be your's

They also marry young

Then divorce at about 30. So go get em.

I realized that I can't even imagine what a loving, affectionate relationship with a partner would be like. Or generally how to form connections with other people. Like I've taken so much damage that even if life threw social opportunities in my lap I wouldn't be able to make any use of them.

Thanks fren, I want to believe.

This. Before I met my girlfriend I was hanging out with friends from highschool and the same shitty people who were either in gangs or drug addicts. I made a retarded choice and now I realized theyre all awful as fuck possibly kept me around for cheap laughs and I want them no where near my girlfriend of family. When you have a girlfriend whos the sweetest most innocent thing you've met and your friend says his brother watched someone get stabbed 16 times plus his gf got shot in the head and lived its a no brainer. Get new friends keep whats dear to you safe no matter what because people are foul and want to ruin you.

People usually avoid making eye contact with me

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I don't think that's really "incel", otherwise he'd be advocating for their deaths or demanding a good woman.
Sometimes you just legitimately have bad luck and only encounter women who are taken.
After a certain age, any single women are single for a reason. Either they chose to be or there's something really wrong with them.

>lmao it's your fault for trying to have friends you should just accept being alone instead

Yeah this is why people don't go to therapy. The only tools they have are blame and shame. At the end of the day, no matter how much other people fucked you up, it's only your responsibility to clean up the mess even if you don't know how.

not OP but how would one do that if they don't ever see themselves being even just okay living a normal life with a family and job.
you're right but some people need help to just not exist in suffering first and foremost.

You all are nihilist faggots

Alright, there's a point there.

My personal belief is that everyone has shit wrong with them. My childhood was awful, etc.

I guess I wasnt clear enough. Someone can be damaged but not abusive. Its all about talking and communicating. And if its obvious its gunna be abusive, get out. And thats tough. Love's real. and its hard to make changes.

Also, even if you hafta be 'alone' Many good friends help alot. My best friend in the world is a chick. Weve never had sex (a couple almosts, but eh) and not really interested in sex w her. cuz she's a bit broken. But shes a great friend. Dont stress about not having a gf. It really is easier the less you stress about it,

Its hard to have it pointed out that it may just be your fault for the shit happening to you. Its not always true, but in my experience, its about 90% true.

Hardest thing I had to deal with in my life was realizing Everyone easnt the asshole... *I* was the asshole.

nihilism is genetic.

Got me there

obv troll is obv.

If they threaten me or her again will calling the cops even do anything? My old friend "jokes" here and there about putting a garbage bag over her head and kidnapping her, trying to fuck her, jokes about killing me. I fucked up guys

oh noooo, people care about themselves more than they care about you? I'm sure you've NEVER conducted yourself in such a way. I mean, how could you? You're the warm fuzzy center of the universe, and all the mindless drones that populate this planet are blind to your radiant light.

Fuck you faggot, grow the fuck up. This isn't kindergarten anymore, people aren't obligated to share, losers don't get trophies, and you're responsible for your own sheets when you piss the bed.

This

i feel you user, i've recently been in bad company too from uni graduate with a job in pathology to smoking hits of meth over a spoon and stove

While this is a bit... blunt... Tis pretty spot on.

The trick is basically to offer people something (your time, attention, orgasms, etc) so they want to offer something up.

Im sorry to hear that. I hope you get better. Most of the people I knew turned to meth its a horrible drug especially watching everyone or yourself deteriorate like that...

oh noooo, did your Bachelor's not require you to take Freebasing 101 or are your student loans too steep to afford some fucking tinfoil?

i just dont care when i smoke it, using a spoon also limits how much is actually possible to do at one time

Your one of those gay people who jump down someone's throat when they only say 2 words huh? Thats why no one loves you and you make the world a shitty place.

False. The trick is to offer people money. Not, "here, have some cash to be my friend", but rather, "Hey, I've worked my way into a position of considerable success. There are opportunities for the people around me to succeed as well, and even if there aren't, I am a decent, well-spoken, goal-oriented person that inspires others to be better and more driven"

I think the problem is when you do that, and they just take and never offer anything up. It depends on who you surround yourself with. Eventually, it gets old, and you have to be done with it.

If you break ties, they can't talk to you, they can't threaten you. Not complicated.

When Ive asked my friends why theyre my friends, yaknow what the most spoken reason was? "Dude, you make me laugh, and are brutally honest. If I ask you something, I know you'll tell me your honest opinion. even if its not blowing smoke up my ass"

Ive got several friends Ive known for 20 yrs. (Basically after I realized I was the asshole)

It really isnt... That said it can be VERY difficult to do this. Change is fucking hard. And it can be lonely at first. But if you're surrounded by horrible people,m you need to get away from them.

Sure, you can't be a pushover that gets taken advantage of, but you can't be a greedy little kike either. Relationships require judicious maintenance, whether they're friends, lovers, co-workers, etc. You have to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run... Having friends is a numbers game. I have upwards of 12,000 contacts in my phone and email, and maybe 10 are good friends, 30 are distant friends, and the rest are professional relationships, most of which I'd never be seen in public with. Meet people, lots of people, they won't all be your friend, probably more than half will end up hating your guts, but if you play the numbers game, your numbers will steadily rise.

I've cut ties before has to move once but this is different. These are bad people who know where I live. Plus theyre child and animal abusers. Maybe a gun? I want an AR 15 but have no idea what kind of hoops I'd have to jump through to get my hands on one.

translation: words are cheap, and you're broke as fuck.

Everybody is looking after self interest.
Some people develop the deviation of looking after their own self interest at the expense of others.

Life is fleeting who gives a fuck enjoy the time you have. Take life hold it in your hands and fuck it with your dick cause we are all going to die one day and it doesn't matter.

+1 internets to you kind Cred Forumstard. Both for the kenny rogers lyrics, and for the very very solid advise.

Honestly if you have 4-5 GOOD friends, and 10 eh friends, you'll end up being very happy.

nigga you should write Hallmark cards, that was fuckin beautiful.

>Is this what happens as you get older? >You just start seeing how awful everyone is?
Yes and yes

I am broke as fuck, and that can very much affect your mood and mental stabilty... But eh. Id rather be broke and happy. (And the job thing will resolve itself eventually anyways. Its just the next 3-4 weeks I hafta figger out)

My friends have been bringing food over all the time, but theyre also not very well off.

i personally find it bizarre how people can go through life knowing how many people hate you, doesnt that feeling urge you to make fewer enemies?

>Sometimes if you life sucks, you need to look outside at the bigger picture.
This fucking guy knows

29 lvl russkie user here.

Eventually you realize that people don't care about you, and you stop caring about it.

For me the shittiest part was the office job. Off-the-books salary, commuting to another town from early morning, coming back home late. Then the boss started delaying monthly payments because "Sorry, user, the company has no money right now". Then that fucker uploads another batch of photos where he and his wife are relaxing on some tropical beach. Oh well. I was about to dive deep into a full-fledged depression with suicidal tendencies.

I left that place and started freelancing. The pay is roughly the same, but at least I don't have to wake up at bullshit early hours.

You do your thing, earn money to live, find someone else to live this shitty life with, and you don't give a fuck about the world around both of you together.

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I believe that those enemies I do have are not my enemies due to something I can control. I try to be the best person I can, etc etc. So since I cannot control others, meh.

And honestly if you have alot of bad enemies like that wanna harm you, perhaps you should consider it may be your fault? Like if you fuck yer buddy's dog and he catches you, he prolly will hate you.

See, you're chillin, you've got a few weeks of hustlin' ahead of you and some homies bringing you food and company. Shit could be worse. As far as women, you're not at the top of your game right now, and you don't want any woman that you'd attract while you're not at the top of your game. If you've got an ex to put your dick in for a bit, cool, otherwise, just focus on seizing opportunities that will improve your life longterm, and once you've cobbled enough of those together to forge some type of stable life, women will gravitate to you, I guarantee it.

I have to say this thread was a bright spot on the usually 5 or 6 stupid threads on Cred Forums. Not cuz of the topic, but cuz of a good conversation. Oh and Kenny Rogers lyrics.

Oh, Im certainly having sex. Just she goes home after she cums. Perhaps in a year or so I'll consider dating. But I was married 20 yrs, have 4 great kids... So I have all Id want from a relationship anyways.

yeah that's right but i was more talking about coping mechanism like self-isolation to avoid upsetting people. I lot of mentally ill people see it as way better to not interact at all than to come off poorly

Depends on what type of people hate you. If all your "friends" hate you, then you're probably a dogshit friend and should make some changes. If all your clients hate you, yet you continue to get paid regularly, then you're just a good businessman.

and those fuckin breadlines, amirite?

All I can say is if you do alot of self isolation, etc... Seriously consider therapy. I went through about 8 yrs of therapy off and on, and it made me so much happier. I realize some things are more serious, but you hafta start someplace.

i was only talking about the 1000s of people you expect to meet for business or errands and just not caring that they might hate you. didn't mean family and friends

(Oh and speaking of hustling. see my paypal above) heh.

I do hope some of my advice here helps someone. Its horrible to be so miserable. I spend my teens years like this. bleh

Nope, breadlines were somewhere around 20+ years ago. The 90s in Russia were a complete shitshow. The country has finally more or less recovered from that. I'd never think I'd see my home town actually developing and becoming better over the years.

Do you think capitalism has helped this?

violent suppression of the homosexual agenda does wonders for developing nations

Everyone wants to take a piece of you until there is nothing left, its what they do because the people who have everything want everyone else to have nothing, its a doomed earth because of that. Look at what they take versus what they leave you with, what matters to them, what doesnt, what matters to you, what doesnt. This is just part of their shopping list and you are like a free market for them to walk all over. 100% fact. Notice the cost of everything you need simply over what you can afford, notice how everything you need to sustain yourself is taken away by those who don't even need it. The world of give and take is simply take from everyone and give nothing in return.

Why do you go to therapy? For motivation to deal with your problems or to get help understanding your problems, or both? I've tried therapy and it wasn't for me. I think I just need to get out more

is that a serious question? Capitalism is economic Jesus. It helps everyone, everywhere.

I go because my therapist has big cans that bounce around when I make her laugh.

>It starts with...
>One thing
>I don't know why
>It doesn't even matter how hard you try
>Keep that in mind
>I designed this rhyme
>To explain in due time
>All I know

I was violent, mean, acting out, and generally unlikeable. Plus I was starting to get into police trouble etc.

I did a probation mandatory anger management class, and the guy in charge pulled me aside after the last class, handed me a card, and said "This guy would help you alot. I set up 5 free group therapy sessions for you, give it a try"

So I did. Listening to the guys in this group opened my eyes. cuz I caught myself saying "Of course everyone hates you, christ yer a prick" then he said shit I say... and it dawned on me. Took YEARS after to really work out the whys and fix shit. But Id be in prison by now for homicide if I hadnt.

Im stealing that, btw. Economic Jesus. heh. Its so true tho

sounds like you didn't look out below while you watched time go right out the window. You tried to hold on, but didn't even know that you wasted it all just to watch them go. I'd bet that you kept everything inside, and even though you tried, it all fell apart. And what it meant to you will eventually be a memory of the time you tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn't even matter.

deep down i know you're right about therapy helping but i can't bring myself to actually want to become 'that confident guy' who can shrug off all life's problems, i'd rather stay true to my nature even if i'm miserable. that first step is incredibly difficult when you don't like what you see down the path

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Its not about being "that confident guy" and shrugging off problems. Its about processing those problems responsibly, so they aren't shrugged off and ignored, but aren't responded to with a knee-jerk reaction either. Its better to be "that thoughtful guy" than "that confident guy" because that confident guy is still leaning on confidence as a crutch and emotionally reacting to situations, its just their emotional reactions are positive to the point of delusion, rather than negative to the point of depression. Both extremes of the spectrum are wrong and offputting to others. Balance is where its at. Quiet wisdom that asserts itself when appropriate and maintains a listening ear when necessary.

Oh christ. You never just shrug off lifes problems, my dude. Life is a constant struggle. I spend every hour making sure I dont go down the shit rabbit hole. Mostly its easy, but when I lost my job this last time, it was hard as hell to stay positive. Its alot of work, but really worth it.

>shit rabbits, Bobandy...

thanks user, thats what i'm striving to achieve. hopefully therapy will help here

You can be thoughtful and confident too though

You say exactly what I say and think, but are alot better at putting it to words. Danke

yes, you can and you should be both thoughtful and confident. I was cautioning against being "that confident guy," who I can only imagine as a stereotype similar to that of a used car salesman or a hot-shot Wall Street broker. Its absurd to be THAT type of confident, where you're shrugging off problems because charisma has gotten you this far, so why start thinking now? Instead, the right type of confidence will come with balance and wisdom. Its an effortless confidence that doesn't demand attention and exude bravado, but still commands respect and admiration.

tl;dr version:
Imagine that you completely raze a whole fucking city and then rebuild it entirely from scratch. Capitalism nuked the whole post-socialist economy (together with people) and then it was reborn from the ashes, with a devastating death and poverty toll. It did help the economy, but the price was high. Less people died from the Reich invasion and Untermensch purges during WW2 than during the 1990s.
-----
Long version:

The USSR had enough problems as it was in 1991.

The initial transfer from planned economy to capitalism was a complete disaster.

Under the guise of privatization state-run factories were bought out and then closed or scrapped to sell precious equipment as junk metal for easy profits. The general idea was optimistic, that the West would help us develop our industry (lol), so we scrap completely Bad Soviet Factories and will get Good European/American ones. The market doesn't work that way, though. People working on state-run factories were given shares in ownership.

Post-Soviet workers who have no fucking idea how it works. This is how some crafty men bought out these shares (sometimes giving away a tv or some vodka) and ended up being sole owners of massive factories - this is how Russian oligarchy appeared.

We got our market flooded with imported goods, and local Russian production nearly died.

The private economy was built with the help of foreign advisors (libertarian wash-outs who were never useful in Europe and the US but could be used to test their ideas in Russia, since people believed every fucking word of a FOREIGN expert).

In the 1990s we had rampant crime, separatist movements within Russia itself, the living standard was nonexistent for the majority of people. Yesterday's professors had to abandon their work and start going back and forth to China or Turkey to sell cheap stuff so they can earn at least something to live another day.

Oligarchs were also constantly fighting for power with their pocket media.

sometimes you just need someone to say there's a middle ground, cheers

why r u berating him,if u agree with him,u fuck?

why would u want to not be jaded?

Out of the 15 republics of the Soviet Union, Russia became the sole successor of the USSR's political seat in the UN, and also claimed Soviet nukes from other republics, while inheriting the entire Soviet foreign debt.

Former Republics were also actively doing things to undermine the Russian economy.

All 15 republics inherited the Soviet currency and started printing it massively, making inflating cash here, which forced the switch to the modern Russian ruble.

Ukrainians kept selling military stuff just to spite the Russians ('hey, you don't need an expensive Russian tank, we have the same Soviet tanks here, it's cheaper!". In 1991 Ukraine was the foothold for a tank rush against Europe, they had the best Soviet stuff available at that time while Russian garrisons had outdated tech. Over the years Ukraine somehow actually managed to sell away all that. Ukraine-1991 could have invaded Russia-1991 and actually win this war.

(That's not surprising, considering that they sold an FUCKING AIRCRAFT CARRIER to China, and in the deal the Chinese said they will use it as a NAVAL-BASED CASINO FOR FUCK'S SAKE, and Ukrainians believed THAT BULLSHIT!).

Ukraine also inherited the Soviet Tu-160 Blackjack supersonic bombers. THEY FUCKING SCRAPPED MOST OF THEM WITH BULLDOZERS. Russians offered money for them, but they didn't want to sell it to the Russians, no, a fucking Moskal will not get the bomber. Instead they got significantly less money from Americans to BULLDOZE THEM. Pilots were literally crying to see it.
---------
Yeltsin and his cronies signed lots of bullshit agreements with foreign companies which basically gave them rights to many oil deposits so that they could grab oil while giving almost nothing to the Russian budget. During Putin these were reworked and revised to make them more balanced towards Russia.

Hey user I can relate to your story but ive found an abundance of positivity. I got dxd narcolepsy schizoaffective ptsd and anxiety. I was pretty much permanently depressed and suicidal for most of my life. Once I met the love of my life M, everything became the best thing ever. When she committed suicide and I got thrown into mental hospitals and rehabs, I list hope. Sanity and was a shambling corpse of a man. I have learned that "practicing" gratitude and building your life, mindset, and having faith in something greater than you, whatever that may be, are the foundations of happiness. I actually pray today and its not to allah or christian "god" its just something I feel and it makes me naked and free. I really wish you would try it

To sum up this rant: during the 1990s Russia was a devastated country, almost nothing but a free market colony for the West.

It was almost the laissez-faire capitalism wet dream, and it was horrible for the general population.

State regulation after 2000 (Putin comes to power) helped to clear that up, a lot.

New investments came, some factories were rebuilt, some were constructed from scratch.

Capitalism helped here, but in the sense that it basically destroyed everything that was before, and somehow managed to rebuild it after a manager with decent skill came and cleaned the shit left by his predecessor.

Again, I repeat - the price was very, very high.

I think whoever did this in Yeltsin's government with foreign help was not interested in 'helping people recover from the politically oppressive regime', they were more interested in making the country an easy resource and money grab, and probably neutering it so it never becomes another USSR-like military/political juggernaut.

How did this become a politics thread wtf? I was gone for like 3 hours.

>so it never becomes another USSR-like military/political juggernaut.

Prolly a lot of truth to this. But that sorta thing worked so well on the Germans after world war 1, eh? Thats why when the US beat Germany and Japan, we stayed there and helped rebuild.

Sorry, I was answering a question and got a bit carried away.

Healthy conversations shift. But it is a bit funny. This has kept me occupied since I couldnt sleep.

Well, that actually is almost related to the thread.

Imagine a whole 150 million country living a decade in a semi-permanent depression when you don't know if you get paid tomorrow, if you actually have your job tomorrow, or if you are not killed tomorrow during a local mafia showdown or get drafted somewhere to Chechnya to fight Muslim terrorists while your commander is probably a corrupt asshole who receives some terrorist money and then sends your entire platoon into a deliberate ambush.

Damn op, I'm sorry.
Thought I had it bad because of verbal abuse but this is some next level shit.
All I can offer is what helped me: I found decent people who were real with me and shared interests with me. Eventually we got so close that they replaced my family.
Godspeed user.

fyi you cant OD on xanax.

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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

I never said his story was factual but the point stands, bucko.

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How old are you and how do you speak English so well?