User what does moving on after a relationship ends mean...

user what does moving on after a relationship ends mean? This whole time I thought I was supposed to accept it as reality and after a while you'll just sort of feel okay with it and it won't kill you inside when you recall the memories. Everyone I talk to about it says I'm supposed to ignore the thoughts that bring me down and that's what causes me to move on.

Gf of 6 years dumped me on the 6 year anniversary and that was at the start of April 2019. Now it's fucking January and I feel no better than I did that day. Tried offing myself a couple times but after failing I gave up on even that. I just wanna be able to not be such a little bitch and hurt like this.

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Other urls found in this thread:

therationalmale.com/the-best-of-rational-male-year-one/
therationalmale.com/2011/08/30/there-is-no-one/
youtu.be/wQTbkEeCTeM
youtube.com/watch?v=2oTV7X83m8k
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Try cutting, it helps

You don't need to ignore the thoughts but you need to properly mourn. I understand, had a 10 year relationship that ended two years ago. Still hurts sometimes even though I've moved on with other girls

I never really thought of it as mourning but I'll try letting it just run it's course. I've been pretty reluctant to let myself break down because I feel like it'll just make things feel worse

Hey man, I've been there. Girl I thought I was gonna marry dumped me out of the blue a year and a half ago. Took me a good year to finally be a good place again. It was a tough road, but the human body always trends towards being okay, it's homeostasis.

It's different for everyone, but for me it was a long period of "I'll get her back". At some point I realized she was the root of all this pain I'd been feeling, and that it doesn't make sense for the main part of my life to be someone who clearly just doesn't care about me. At the end of the day, it's my life. I don't want it to be a tragic tale that ends early. This is a bad chapter, maybe a bad first book of a trilogy. You're living for her, live for you man. I bet you're a pretty cool dude. It is what it is, you need enough self worth to know you'll be okay.

Not to say it's wrong to be upset still. Totally normal and justified to be depressed about it. Just remember it's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry, sometimes you need to. Do what makes you happy, watch netflix, play games, whatever. You'll get there. I promise.

Thank you user, I legitimately got a little choked up from your reply. I'm also in an "I'll get her back" moment. I've been trying to tell myself to become the guy I wanted to become when I was with her and then there's no way I can't get her back. I know it's a silly thought of course, but I can't seem to get myself to be able to stomach the thought of her with someone else.

Thank you again user.

therationalmale.com/the-best-of-rational-male-year-one/

when i was younger my fiance and I split after a 6 year relationship. she was with a new guy in 6 days (probably cheated on me constantly) found out she gave be herpes too and she was my first gf. let me tell you that this website saved my life. specifically best of year one (and later his first book)

therationalmale.com/the-best-of-rational-male-year-one/

You're not alone. I've been there too. It took awhile but now I am SOO glad I didn't end up w/her. I'm not 100% where I want to be but I know how to get there and I know I'm on the right path. Had I ended up w/her my life would have gone a different direction and I know I'd be unhappy. I know it's a cliche but time really does heal all wounds.

literally this. In most cases you look back and realize it was the best outcome. but you need to learn and not make the same mistakes. young guys should not BE in serious relationships like this. You can't dump everything into a girl.

>There is no ONE. This is the soulmate myth. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are LOTS of ‘special someones’ out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who’s remarried after their “soulmate” has died or moved on.
therationalmale.com/2011/08/30/there-is-no-one/

hey user, I lost the love of my life after 5 years. That was 3 years ago now, and I'm still not "over her" because what I've learned is that there's no such thing.

When people tell you to "get over it" what they're suggesting is emotional suppression, which can be very dangerous to oneself, as you've already tried suicide.( so did I, don't worry)

If you want the solution, luckily for you it's a really straight forward one, but it will require lots of time and patience and effort on your part.

You need Self Love, OP. Your partner was your everything, and now that they're gone, you are feeling the hole they left behind

We often fill ourselves with our partners, and this creates suffering, as you can feel. Your partner left and took with them a great deal of "you"

I say this in quotes because it's not really you. Nothing is gone, they can't take anything away from who you are - and you will understand this in time. in time, you will understand that they did quite the opposite. They helped you to grow and evolve.

With self love, user, you can begin to fill this hole with an authentic you. You can fill it with anything you wish; passion, love, intrigue, curiosity, Understanding, knowledge.. or you can fill it with hate, anger, isolation, suffering, numbness..

the choice is entirely yours. I still dream about her nearly every single night. The more time I spend away from her, the more I realize I love her even more. I have tried 3 relationships and nothing ever feels like it did with her

And that's all ok. It takes time. We must be patient with ourselves if we are to feel whole again, and each day, as I practice, and read, and reflect, my capacity to Love grows.

You can use this pain to create much healing, user.

Be well

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I'll read through them all and give it a shot. Thanks for sharing the link

Even if it's a cliche, I appreciate the intention. I'm surprised I got real replies and not just some faggots trying to be edgy

>Your partner was your everything, and now that they're gone, you are feeling the hole they left behind
>Your partner left and took with them a great deal of "you"

That's very much what I feel like, thank you for sharing the encouragement. It really, really is comforting to read. I'll do my best to learn to love myself again and try to grow from this. Even if it hurts like hell, I wouldn't trade the memories for anything.

Geez Cred Forums is wordy today.

It means one thing: FUCKING A DIFFERENT BITCH.

Real shit man... Real shit

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youtu.be/wQTbkEeCTeM

there we go, I knew the kids would find this thread

You could have prevented this.

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Why do your sirens sound like dying geese

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Oh fuck wrong thread

Moving on means accepting the fact that your girl is getting some real loving from a nice, thick, BBC.

Well you won't get any edgy shit from me when it comes to this stuff. About 4 years ago my best friend was dating this girl, she had messed with him for about 2 years, really did a number on him and he thought he could change her. She was arrested for shoplifting, spent a few months in jail, when she got out was staying with him and less than a month later od'ed on prescription pills. She died on his couch and he found her dead in the morning when he woke up. He was so distraught he od'ed on heroin almost a month to the day and died. I was supposed to go out a few days before he died but I decided last minute not to, worst mistake of my life. Nobody is worth killing yourself over. You mean more to everyone else around you and you will mean something to the ones you haven't met yet.

Sorry to sound like a shitty Hallmark card, but life will get better. Life sucks and pain is what shapes us into who we are. Just try your best to move on, and know that some day, somewhere along the way, things will get better.

Why are all the good ones straight?

Fuck you op at least you had a gf

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agree with everything that's been said in this thread and would just add try to get some exercise too if you're not working out already, really hard exercise releases natural endorphins that make your brain happy. plus you'll look good which will get you more female attention which will make you feel good! glutes for the sloots and all that, /fit/ is your friend.

but keep your head up Cred Forumsro, i've been there too. take it one day at a time and try to live for you, not for her like others have said.

The dying goose is the swan song of heartache.

The best thing you can do is just do you. Do the things that make you happy and try to meet a new girl when you feel ready. I dated a girl for 2 years in HS who I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with but when she cheated and got prego with a different guy I was fucked up for over a year. Now 11 years later I’m married and have a 9 month old daughter and can’t believe how well my life is turning out and how terrible it would of been if I was in that original relationship.

Agree 100%. Exercise, specifically weight lifting will really help with self esteem and also help make you more attractive

/thread

this

see this guy knows. should've added /fit/ is your friend but don't let them turn you gay, that tends to happen over there with the constant comparison and ogling of muscular male bodies.

There's a time to wallow in your self pitty, and then and move on with your life.

Find a new purpose. Craft a life for yourself where you are happy, and if you find a woman who fits into that life then you can try that.

My wife left me after 3 years of great marriage, I still loved her. Abandoned me 5 months after we moved to a new state. My entire future plans revolved around us buying a house and supporting each other. I had to not only support myself emotionally with all my friends being online only now, but financially, "our income" dropped nearly in half to "my income."

There's no magical cure the pain button. Try to remove/reduce things that remind you of her, mementos and such. But it's time to stop. You gain nothing by dwelling. Push for better paying jobs, pick up hobbies that you have to throw your life and passion into.

lol
very true, especially if you are on youtube watching vids of jeff seid and zyzz that someone linked to

Never thought a CK snippet would make me think so much.

Thanks for the encouragement user.

I just started working out again and it's helping a bit. Haven't considered going to /fit/ though, I'll check it out

Thank you everyone for the advice and encouragement, I'm feeling much more equipped and confident about starting the next chapter of my life. I've just gotta take the first step.

Kek
I mean it wont be for long, once she gets pregnant hes going to dart.

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That's the spirit user

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I remember hearing this song in some bodybuilding compilation and it is pretty appropriate for your situation. Grab some weights, crank this up and start building yourself back up while building muscle.

youtube.com/watch?v=2oTV7X83m8k

this is bad advice and the poster knows it.

go get therapy you clearly have a depression problem.

really make an effort to clean up your diet and hit the gym hard at least 2x a week and you will feel so much better. here's a good diet reference link from the bois over at /fit/:

imgur dot com slash a slash 5nbmA

let the feeling run its course.

it takes two to be a partnership. unfortunately she does not want to be with you. It's the inevitable result that you cannot win her back, and you probably don't want her back even if you think you do.

get back on the horse - enjoy life. do the things you always wanted to do FOR YOU. live for you. you are responsible for your own happiness.

i'm in a similar situation. it hasn't gotten better for me (actually its gotten worse cause she lives close by and i have to avoid running into her and her new bf, pretty regularly) after a year and a half (dumped me shortly after my birthday) but i hope you find the other side of this pain.

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Move on with your fucking life, the only one hanging your emotions up on her is her. You think she feels this way about you? The thing about bitches is that they have no concept of time or any respect for it. The girl I just cut out of my life was in it for 10 fucking years. She's not thinking about you while she's taking it up the ass from whatever other guy she's with now. You're better off without her user, take it from a guy like me who gave his trust into a manipulative bitch for 10 fucking years.

You're faggot but you're at least an agreeable one.

Dude if you dont have kids, stop crying and go stick your dick in and around the world faggot

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Went through the same, user.
Felt like shit for 6 months but I eventually came across another girl.
There's nothing there for you in those thoughts of her.
Pick yourself up and start searching, make friends. Eventually you'll come across one just the way you came across your last relationship.

Just go to therapy dude

this is good advice Mourning is natural, it is someone you've spent a large part of your life with, and who you had future dreams with. Experience the loss, mourn it, allow yourself to be sad for a while, bury the relationship and then come out of mourning and rebuild yourself.
Moving on is about doing new things, seeing, learning, and building new ideas for the future that don't include her.
It will take a while before you feel yourself again, remember that she was your other half for all of that time, so you need to heal over that part that has gone, and then regrow so you are whole again.
Take up a new activity, something you can do at least several times a week, if not every day. Work hard at it and become good at it. It will become one of the new parts of yourself. The main thing is to be constructive, write down things you want to do and work towards them. Make goals, plans for the future, ambitions.
Spend time with some other women, just chat with them, doesn't have to be with the aim to date them or anything, but just to show you that there are other women in the world, and along the way you will discover that you find some you like spending time with more than the others. It won't be the same as your other girlfriend, it never is, but if you let yourself, you will learn that there are other things to be appreciated in this new girl.
Keep moving forward, no matter how you feel. That's life.

Try not to think about her, she doesn't exist anymore, so she isn't with anyone else, because she doesn't exist.
Cut off contact with her, delete her from facebook, your phone etc, it will make it easier.
Fill your life with new things and people and you will think less and less about her.
Don't be tempted to check on her, or look her up. It doesn't matter now, she's out of your life and within time you'll see you are better off for it. That won't make sense now, but in a year or so you will understand it.

>found out she gave be herpes too and she was my first gf

That's a god damn shame. Here I am a 34 year old virgin and people wonder why I am a 34 year old virgin. It's just not safe out there to just go out and fuck anyone. Because who can you really trust? EVERYONE is having sex, and at the same time, EVERYONE is exchanging diseases. I dont wanna end up swimming in that cesspool of gonorrhea and chlamydia and herpes the first time I fuck a bitch.

If the God of this universe sends me a virgin mate to be my girlfriend and wife until old age, then I will forever commit my days to being a saint and trying to live straight. If not, then I am gonna jerk off and look at all the porn I want and hope I dont go to Hell for it.

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no point being afraid all your life, then being too old to do anything about it and regretting every moment you've been alive.
no girl is going to turn up on your doorstep and beg you to marry her, you'll have to go out and find her.
porn diseases your brain, stop porning and your head will be clear after six months.
no fap for a few weeks in the beginning to help break the habit.
don't pick up girls in clubs/bars and you should avoid diseases.

Sometimes yall have a real strange way of looking at the world but I thank you nonetheless

Is it that I understand my emotions which makes me a faggot? It's quite a useful thing to be able to understand yourself

op still here?