Tell us about some illegal shit you got away with. (Cops not allowed in this thread.)
I'll go first: >back in the day >be bored suburban retard >need money >decide to shoplift something and flip it >do research to find stuff for sale on eBay >item has to be worth decent money >but also something I can readily find near me >settle on the Rosetta Stone language learning box sets >(this was before online language apps were a thing) >at the time I was seeing these box sets sell regularly for $500 a pop new >I know they're sold at bookstores >so I scope out the nearest store and sure enough they have 'em >the language box sets on display are just empty boxes >you have to ask a sales clerk to get the real box from a locked cabinet >I test things out and ask to see one >I'm brought one and find out the real box sets didn't have spider security wraps on them for some reason >they had the little sticker things, but nothing else >they probably figured it wasn't necessary since they're locked away >jackpot >the heist is go
>few days later >I dress nice, wear a tie >have a bag for a different store (big, easily recognizable logo on it) >fold the bag up and hide it in the waistband of my pants >go to the bookstore when it's super busy on a Sunday morning >grab a basket and put a few books and shit in it like I'm shopping >I ask to see three different box sets >clerk is supposed to walk the boxes to the cashier for me because they're so expensive >but I take me time looking them over >ask a shit ton of annoying questions >act wishy washy >"This is a gift for my dad, but I'm not sure...." >eventually the clerk has like a hundred people hanging around us waiting for help >tell the clerk it's okay if she wants to help someone else, I really need to think about things >she says okay, but when I'm done with the box sets drop them off at the info counter >"will do!" >make sure nobody is paying attention to me >whip out the bag and put 2 box sets into it >put the 3rd into the shopping basket >drop the basket off at the info counter >tell that sales clerk about the box set in my basket >clerk's like thanks we'll put everything back >I browse a little bit more just to make sure I'm not being tailed >coast looks clear >go to leave >door alarm goes off >another clerk approaches me >I hold up the shopping bag from another store >clerk sees the bag and waves me through >sit on everything for another week just in case >then I sell both box sets on eBay for like $400 each >felt good
Angel Fisher
I once sucked a dick and then got robbed, after illegally crossing the border
Brody Hughes
I'm a 40 year old virgin and I go to the cinema, alone
Bentley Roberts
That is even more gay than what i did brother.
Jonathan Cox
Catfishing paid my car
Jordan Diaz
Damn illegal tranny homos stealing or dicks, jobs, and quads to dubz combos
Michael Robinson
What? How?
Christian Jackson
I held up a spoon too high in London while eating beans for breakfast. Their police force are a bunch of nigger muslim loving cucks
Logan Reyes
>Back when in I was in the Army in 1998 >Got assigned a job >Old living building being remodeled >Told to remove tiles from grounds and toss in dumpster >Never given masks >One asked but other in charge said not needed >We did the job without telling anyone >I got ejected from the army due to lung issues >Still have them to the day >Obviously wrong way to get rid of old ceiling tiles, but no one can prove it. Everyone got away from any legal liability >I've already been hospitalized and given steroid inhalers since.
Jordan Davis
Bump
Ayden Anderson
Going to movies alone is great
Ethan Turner
I used to shoplift random food items or clothes like a little twerp.
Should've just worked harder and paid for them myself.
To this day I'm a pathetic loser and feel like I've never applied myself even to things like crime, and think about killing myself all the time
>be jobless teen >Skipping school because friends mother had to go sort family shit out >Need money for weed and other shit Idea.jpg >Print out sponsorship forms for different school >Go to the other schools local area >Knock on every door like Norman's >Tell them it's a fun run to buy tards new computers >Rinse and repeat >One guy gives us old laptop In sponsorship money alone we made about 200 in a day, sold laptop on eBay We did it two more times then stopped
Recived kilos of cocaine and heroin from PR, and pure mdma from canada for 2 years. Got "caught" due to a supposed error on the address. DEA, FBI, MBI, and local sheriff narcotics showed up at my house at 7 am. Basically a DEA agent threw a fedex shirt on and knocked on ky door, I opened it, he asked if I was expecting a package, I said nope sorry, closes the door. 2 seconds later they busted in. They held me in my apartment for 12 hours thinking, waiting for a delivery guy to pick up the goods. Problem for them was that I was the middleman. The night before I knew ot was going to happen, had a sunken feeling. 3 days before that I had 32 kilos. Anyways, got taken to jail, bond was 500k. Luckily for me, my uncle is one of the best criminal defense lawyers in the state. They didnt have a warrant nor suffient proof to prove that the drugs where for me plus they fucked up the discovery. I dodged a minman of 15 years. And for anyone wondering, Inwas getting paid $2,500 per kilo I would accept. Most of my savings went to my uncle. Which was $80k that was 11 years ago. I still do coke and mdma every now and then. Got a really good job, family and a kid. Im lucky.
>be me >16 >at friends house smoking weed and drinking gin >decide to drive home >think I'm going 10 over, actually going 20 over >have to close one eye while driving to avoid double vision >pulled over >get ticket for 15-20 mph over limit >cop either can't tell or doesn't know I'm fucking hammered >get home and have to hold the wall so I don't fall over
I don't know how the fuck I got away with that, but its easily the most illegal thing I've gotten away with