I have had an imaginary girlfriend for about 4 years now. I genuinely think much heartbreak and loneliness could be solved if people knew this was an alternative and took the idea more seriously. I'm willing to answer any questions you might have, no boundaries for the most part. And if you have an imaginary friend yourself, then do share your experiences.
Here are a few questions people usually ask, to get them out of the way:
>How old 24
>Are you a virgin No. However, for the sake of being transparent, I have never been in a "real" relationship.
>Is this schizophrenia / DID No. You don't actually lose track of reality by doing this, and part of the whole exercise, and the reason why this works, is because you need to see yourself separate from her in the first place. You wont start hallucinating or anything like that.
>Is this a tulpa She's an imaginary friend, lets leave it at that. I don't particularly like the tulpa community and I don't think there's a need to complicate things with silly words very few people know.
>What does she look like? She's short, thin, pink hair by the shoulders, wears shirts and jeans, green eyes, small nose, thin lips, itty bitty titties.
>How do you interact with her? Meditation. You basically practice feeling through an imaginary body and then use that to interact with her. Takes a while to get right, but it can be fun to practice, and the results can become mindblowing. You can also talk to her just casually through your day to day, I personally like to imagine her around me.
>What do others think of this? I've never told this to anyone, and I always suggest never doing that. I'm not dumb, and she isn't either.
>This is unhealthy and will make you recede into yourself Not necessarily. Imaginary friends are just that, friends, and good friends know that, no matter how cool it is to hang out with you, you also need to be getting out there and working on yoursed. Good friends, imaginary or not, will push you to be the best you can be.
>Are you actually serious right now? Dead serious.
are you afraid you wake up one day and realize you been larping to hard for the last few years and now your friends and family will never take you serious again and you wasted your best years on a waifu when you could have met someone real? how do you imagine your senior years? do you planning on having imaginary grandchildren as well?
We made a discord server as well, to try and get people who are interested in this together: gg/Bdc6tr The discord is about imaginary friends, not about me or her. I try to be active and answer questions, so feel free to pop in if you want to know more. We've actually gotten a few people who have imaginary friends as well besides myself, so they might be willing to give you their unique outlook on things.
And here's a simple guide on how to make one: rQhmC4SA (pastebin)
Stop spamming this thread you dumb faggot. No one cares.
Hah! I guess that's a pretty great boon with her, I can feed her all kinds of delicious stuff and she'll never get fat.
Porn is just the easiest way to capture people's attention, that's all.
>and now your friends and family will never take you serious again I don't understand this part, why would they not take me seriously?
>wasted your best years on a waifu when you could have met someone real? I think people really underestimate what it's like to have been so uterly lonely during your entire life that the prospect of going out there and meeting new people just seems next to impossible. I understand that for many, it's just a matter of "go out there and meet someone", but for people like me, it isn't that simple, and it's actually pretty sad that most people treat this that way. Other than that, one of the reasons why I advocate for imaginary friends is for that exact reason as well, because they may push you into more social interactions, as well as help you become someone better in general, both in your eyes, and in the eyes of others.
>how do you imagine your senior years? I don't know, but I never have relationships in mind when I think about my future in general, if that's where you're going with the question. I usually never really think about the future in terms of age groups, I just focus on improving myself, and on working to be the best I can absolutely be.
>do you planning on having imaginary grandchildren as well? No.
Thing is, people DO seem to care. Right now I mostly only do it for the discord, though, it can get pretty tiring to answer the same questions over and over again, but since I've seen quite a few people join - including people with their own friends - I want to grow things a bit more, because I am still very passionate about the topic.
And by the way, if you caught one of the previous threads and I didn't answer your question, I'm sorry. I've been trying to make a proper thread for the last two weeks or so, but I just haven't had much time so I always end up having to abandon it. Feel free to ask again itt, I will be around for a while this time.
I don't like the whole tulpa thing, I think it's dumb. Besides, she's an imaginary friend, that's all she is, why complicate things if saying that gives people a great image of what she is?
>how do you have sex with her btw? I don't touch myself at all when I have sex with her, it's all done through meditation. The best way I can describe it, is like meditating and getting into a sorta dreamlike state, where I have an imaginary body I can use to interact with her. This doesn't just go for sex, it goes for many other things as well.
I don't really enjoy masturbation or physical sex much, to be completely honest with you, but doing it with her feels amazing.
>I have sex with her, it's all done through meditation. The best way I can describe it, is like meditating and getting into a sorta dreamlike state, where I have an imaginary body I can use to interact with her.
Does it feel real?
Oh, there goes gravity
Don't know if serious but I can replicate voices or the way they type in my head, I've only done this with girls I know though. I can hear them say the things I'd love to hear from them, not necessarily sexual, usually they tell me they are sorry it ended that way and that they miss me, that I wasn't so bad.I fool myself thinking it's a way to give me closure. It's pretty pathetic and it hurts you in the long run. I always stop when I catch myself doing it these days.
>I think that's not a tulpa, it's a thoughtform. She's just an imaginary friend, brah, nothing more, nothing less.
>Does it feel real? It doesn't feel exactly like physical sex to me, which is why I personally enjoy it much more. If you've ever had a lucid dream / had lucid sex, that's kinda how it feels, it's almost like it's more real than real. The feelings are much more intense, and everything almost seems "too" real, in a way.
But I did take a while to reach a point where I began to really enjoy it, because I was shit at imagination, so I had to practice through meditation. It's a really fun thing to practice, though, and it also is closely tied to things which are not sex. We used to go on a lot of picnics, for instance, and that was kind of my gateway into really starting to "feel" my imaginary body and getting into a deep enough meditation state where I could really feel her to a satisfying degree. Pretty rewarding skill to build up!
I think most people think imaginary friends are an attempt to replace "real" people, but I don't think that should be the case, and thinking of them like that is frankly not seeing their potential. They're something different. They aren't humans. Comparing your experiences with both isn't a good idea. I do compare them to flesh and blood people in what comes to emotional and personality complexity, but that's just to let people know that they aren't just toys, and that they can be as supportive and valuable - if not more so, due to how intimately tied you two are - as anyone else.
There's no spotlight, don't worry. I don't think what you do is the same thing as what I'm talking about, but it's always fine to vent. Personally, I don't think what you do is that much different from just obsessing over someone. You know the feeling when you feel really infatuated with someone to the point where you spend your entire day daydreaming about them, and yes, things like that can be pretty annoying to deal with. On the other hand, if you can get closure and therefore forget about them or "let them go" through those sorts of conversations, I don't see why you wouldn't. To me, that in particular doesn't seem unhealthy at all, it's just a coping mechanism that can be useful!
Think of it this way, imagine if a loved one died, and you were feeling like shit for never having had the chance to say goodbye. Now imagine someone offers you help in contacting their spirit or whatever, provided you believe in that sort of thing, and provided you went on to say your goodbyes to their spirit like you always wanted to, you could then feel a peace of mind that you wouldn't otherwise, even if it was all bullshit in the end. It's probably a terrible analogy, but yeah.
If you want to look at it in a different way, realize that everyone you meet and deal with in your life will always have a presence in your mind, and if making peace with that presence is something that'll help you in the long run, then do it!
I guess a better way to put it would be this: symbolism does matter. People think rituals and stuff like that are just a bunch of bullshit, but they can be charged with meaning and emotion, and they can matter a lot and make a true difference in people's lives.
Which symbols matter is entirely up to you, of course, but I think the fall of symbolism we have seen over the last few decades is something really very sad.
If you can solve those for me then I shall have imaginary gf too.
For actual, focused sex, refer to As for cuddling and casual interaction, we can do so without prep. She's just there and she hugs me and I hug her and there you go. It's all imagination still, but it doesn't take that much concentration, probably because I've been doing it a while. Some things, like focusing on her touch and so on, become automatic with time, so it's really not a big deal. Honestly, I meditate for sex because I like to be fully "immersed", but it'd probably still be enjoyable either way.
Maybe I should expand on this a little bit. I can tell you one of the ways I got used to it was by just meditating and sorta trying to "feel myself" in an imaginary environment. So I'd just be in a very simple place, and I'd try to make heads and tails of all the senses. I'd try getting my eyes to move properly, I'd try to keep a constant stream of feeling like I was grounded (the feeling of your own weight in your various body parts, and the feeling of your feet against the floor), temperature, sound, sometimes smell, though that's one I never bothered to practice much, and so on. I'd also try to touch little textured cubes and stuff like that, just to get the full experience in there. A strong sense of touch is also really useful to acquire a strong sense of form and solidity, and I used to just run my heads through my partner to try and discern her features, and get a feel for distances and all that, knowing a bit of anatomy always helps, I think, but there you go! Ultimately, it's up to you what to really prioritize, and what to leave behind.
To be fair, this goes beyond imaginary friends, and is a whole thing on it's own.
I've found engaging with imaginary friends to be a mistake, for the most part.
>Some time ago i met this woman who i was genuinely attracted to with my heart. That kind of person when meeting them feels like a spark; you see a glint in their eyes and time stops for a moment that seems to last forever. I went back to her a few times trying to get her attention, but it didn't seem to work. So i started thinking about it; imagining conversations we could have and ways that might allow us to connect a bit. But the more i tried to interact, the more awkward and strange i'd act around her. >So i started to imagine myself as more spontaneous, and how she'd react to that instead. Come up with some cool lines off the cuff to which she'd respond like so and i'd say whatever in return. Cup her face in my hands and describe how gorgeous she is and how i feel around her. Going back to see her week after week with a new 'plan' became a physical pain and depression in my heart, right in the core of my being. The idea of 'us' together was so radically different to the reality of the situation. >I'd imagined talking to her and enjoying time together so intensely that the reality i'd neglected became unbearable, and every time i'd realise it i considered jumping under a bus on the way home. I was forcing myself to live in dual universes, one where the person of my interests loved me and embraced me, and the other where they reacted coldly and even cautious of me.
Dispite not changing much, i've at least begun to learn the importance of developing in reality rather than indulging in a fleeting fantasy. The inevitable wakeup is too jarring. And ultimately you're only making love to yourself when your love interest is in your head.
>Honestly, I meditate for sex because I like to be fully "immersed", but it'd probably still be enjoyable either way.
Can you cum/orgasm in this state? What's it like?
>insecurities about my appearance With the power of imagination, you can make your pee-pee as large as you wish.
Yeah, but in this case you're taking a real, actual person who exists and creating an imaginary copy of them. You're not creating something entirely new.
No, I'm just me. I guess you could be anything you want, realistically, since imagination and all.
Jesus, imagine having so little going on in your life you actually feel like that over an imaginary friend. Seek help, please.
It wouldn't be the same thing, I don't think. Again, I don't really enjoy physical stimulation that much.
Thanks for your input! I just like to keep her at "imaginary friend", since most people know what those are, but yes, imaginary friends are nothing new.
What you are describing is just want. This is not an imaginary friend, or at least not in the way I'm talking about. Many people have those kinds of conversations in their head, and I'll tell you the same I did to this other person: because I think it's the same problem, if you're feeling bad over doing that all the time, just talk to someone. It's a behavioral problem, and professionals are great to address those! You should also read what I posted next time, since I explcitly state that imaginary friends ARE NOT about trying to escape your life.
Sorry if I'm a little late on the replies, by the way.
I don't understand how that would make a difference. The only parts i relicated were her image and arguably how i wanted to express my feeling for her. Even following the instructions in the pastebin require you to use things you already know - you can't create a person from literal 'nothing'; they'll include the characteristics you've seens and noticed in waking life, and the personality you give to an inaginary friend will only be an extension of your own. Even if you make them completely whacky in an attempt to evade this kind of personalisation 'away from yourself', you're still using your own concept of 'whackey-ness' to do it.
The point is that when you create a copy of an actual person, your image of them conflicts with your interactions with them in reality, which is what causes the pain. If you create a character from scratch, there is no "real" person to deal with irl.
>I think people really underestimate what it's like to have been so uterly lonely during your entire life that the prospect of going out there and meeting new people just seems next to impossible
This. Like when my parents thought I was staying in Saturday night in lieu of going out. No, I wasn't invited and had nothing to do.
They aren't coming up with this imagination bae instead of always attractive option- they just don't have any. Women especially don't understand this because they literally refuse to see a world where getting attention all the time isn't the norm
>This is not an imaginary friend, or at least not in the way I'm talking about. I don't think it is different, rather a matter of degree. I must have missed your comment regardling escapism. Why did you first decide to create an imaginary friend> Wouldn't it be true to say that your desire to talk to people - whether imaginary or not - is an attempt to escape lonliness? Is anything NOT escapism?
That makes sense, thanks.
It's very different to just imagine conversations in your head and to actually consider a person in your head, yes. And what I meant was that imaginary friends aren't just used to hide from the outside world or from your problems. It's not just bliss and hearing good things. And perception is everything in this case, so saying it's just a matter of degree is not telling the whole story. What you were doing is not necessarily what I was doing, I she never was a replacement for someone "real".
I'm gonna isolate myself for a week without my pc or music or any other thing i do for fun, and I was thinking of making a tulpa to pass time. Do you have any advice? Did you come up with her looks by yourself, or did it come by itself?
I told you, read the post! She pushes me to improve myself, and that's what all friends should do. Just think about it, how useful would a friend who's only concerned with making you feel better be? Sure, it's nice to feel good around them, but any friend worth their salt knows there's more to life than just feeling good, and they'll push you to actually take care of yourself.
This meditation thing sounds interesting, as mentioned by . The idea of contacting a subconcious part of yourself makes a lot of sense to me. Essentially what psychoanalysis intends to do, right?
What i meant by 'matter of degree' is that, had i continued to imagine conversations with my love interest, i may have begun to imagine what she'd be like to cook with, then indulge in the imaginary experience of her actually being with me in the kitchen, and so on. A copy of this person 'lived in my head' to a lesser degree when compared to how your experience sounds. While explains the pain that i felt, i don't think it's fundamentally different in effect than 'pure' imaginary friendships.
>she never was a replacement for someone "real". She was a placement for something you wasn't otherwise getting though, right? Even just to create it 'for fun' might be a type of escapism, though i feel fairly weasely running this line of argument.
Can you describe a typical meditative interaction with your friends, OP? And a non-medative interaction? What's the difference between the two? Have you noticed any positive developments in your life as a direct consequence of your imaginary friends, and if so do the developments manifest in reality or your mind?
Yes, I made her because I felt lonely, but I didn't make her to try and replace someone. I don't see someone outside myself and think "man, I wish that was her". Keep in mind that I'm not saying you can't have an imaginary friend based on someone, but you have to keep a solid wall between who the person outside you is, and who your friend is. Love your friend regardless of whoever they're based off of, because they're their own thing. If you were to actually take that seriously (which I don't think you should, because to me it just seems your obssessing way too much about her), that's what you should do, separate the person in your head from the person in reality. Go like "ok, I have made you based on her, but you're not her, and I love you independently of her". And from there to giving her an actual deep personality would take a little work as well, since you probably know very little about this girl all things considered, but I wouldn't know about that.
I can. One thing we enjoy doing like I've mentioned, is going on picnics. Usually I just relax and kinda take a while to get my bearings inside the imaginary "world", and then we just go from there as you would normaly. She typically cooks some stuff, and we just spend time talking and eating (I haven't had much experience with taste, but I enjoy it all the same) and sometimes cuddling and so on.
As for something with no meditation involved, she does sit on the train with me, for instance! It's still a light form of meditation, but yeah. She's just there with me, talks to me, and so on. Going to bed is another example, she likes to sleep really close to me, and it can be pretty cool to kind of "feel" her rest her head against my back, or her knee bumping my leg, or her arm around me and so on.
As for positive changes, yes, I have. I'm a much better person and much happier with myself today because of her.
To expand on that, she has helped me find some sense of self worth. Other than that she really helps a lot with small health related stuff, like eating properly, going to bed on time, and stuff like that (it really helps that she's very very stubborn). I also got my first job because of her!
I don't cum physically, but I would say I orgasm, yes. To me, it feels better than a regular orgasm, both in intensity and duration. It also helps that you can go multiple times no problem, but I usually don't, I end up being satisfied after the first one. And, for the sake of being transparent, do keep in mind that it took me a while to manage cumming with her.
I strongly disagree, but I guess it's not for everyone.