So my beloved Cred Forums, I come seeking aid and addistence inb4nypa

So my beloved Cred Forums, I come seeking aid and addistence inb4nypa.

I was high as hell earlier and though it would be a grand idea to put a cue ball up my ass. It has been stuck there for ~6 hours.

It hasnt started causing any problems yet, but I imagine the gas and inability to make movement will start to hurt.

>Can anyone please tell me how to get this thing out of my butt without going to ER.

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Bro, I can't tell you how many times I have got a pool ball stuck up my ass. You just need a homie with good lungs to stuck that shit out of you or could try a vacuum.

self bump

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it had been up there before, but didnt roll up into my goddman lungs.

>FML

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>hey user have this

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I call bullshit. Nobody is that stupid. Are they? Reminds me of a rekt post a couple of days ago where a couple of doctors were trying to get a giant butt plug out of some dudes ass. Nasty as fuck!

I need help

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Nah.

please heir negro i am worried as fuck.

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>Fml. Will post tits for more advice. Is there a tool I can use to reach behind and pull it out

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Take laxatives and try to poo real hard.
>And poast pics of the cracked toilet with a cueball rolling around in there

Calm down about it. The cue ball is made of acrylic resin and it's not likely to contain alot of poison . People use the material to store food in and stuff also. babies eat acrylic pellets and shit em out without dying. just pig out today on your favorite foods and it will come out with a big shit.

I mean it fit in so obviously it will come out. Take some muscle relaxers and just chill

That's a good point user. I heard about people bleeding to death from wounds inflicted by a shattered toilet.

This (plus the laxatives.)
The cueball went in there, there's nothing stopping it from coming out except for your own pussification. You had a "grand" time shoving it in there, why does the reversal of this process pose such a dilemma?

You could try sucking it out of your ass with a pump. But you’re probably gonna have to go the hospital. Have fun being judged by the nurses for being an enormous faggot.

put me in the screencap

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This fucking ball is stuck in like a pocket everytime I go to shit. It will get close but then somehow move to this little enclave in my ass.

I remains about 1-2" from dropping. I dont know man its like a reverse vaccum or something.

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Try not to shit you own guts user

Do you have one of these "double bongs?" Maybe you could try that.


youtube.com/watch?v=glYzD7gjdPQ

hes got a point, just get yourself to the hospital

a) Forget the ball for a bit and work on loosening your ass with your fingers and/or your biggest toys. When you've rested your muscles and you're gaping wide, give it another push.

b) Again, once gaping, slide a sandwich bag over it. If the bag has a zipper, remove it first. Then use your fingers to stuff it up one side of the ball, hook it over, and use that to pull it out.

Think I am going to go slam some four loco and eat pickled sausages.

>If this thread stays alive long enough for this thing to find its own way I will sell on Mercari

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I've had bigger stuck up there. One time I had to push out so hard I blew up like a billion capillaries in my face and upper body and they were red for a few days. Learned my lesson since then. But yeah it sounds like it's in ur sigmoid and that's not easy to get it out of. U just gotta push so hard u almost pass out lol

>b) Again, once gaping, slide a sandwich bag over it. If the bag has a zipper, remove it first. Then use your fingers to stuff it up one side of the ball, hook it over, and use that to pull it out.

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>I have not. I just started using one of those inflatable buttplugs and they are fucking intense

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when the solution to your problem is literally fishing inside your anus with a plastic bag, your life has taken a real bad turn.

you gotta save it up. Dont't try to shit it out for the next 24 hours.

I am really hurting right now. I was all fucked up and went to brown town with a cueball, a drink mixer, and the inflatable job.

I was cranking from like 10 to 1.

>good advice will try.

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I'm not disagreeing.

Idk man, life is pretty alright. I regret putting the ball in my ass bro if thats what youre looking for.

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>I regret putting the ball in my ass bro if thats what youre looking for.
>yep
>it's Cred Forums

>this

Sort of scared to go on pushing like a titan. I may do some irreparable damage, i mean more so than whats already been done.

guess you live and you learn.

next time ziplock your cue ball in advance and let the end dangle out. budget anal beads innit.

> I tried putting the plug in and inflating to a little larger than the ball and forcing a contraction hoping as the plug was ejected the ball would slide out also.

Thanks fellas.