Alright Cred Forums, you're now in charge of writing Civil War III

Alright Cred Forums, you're now in charge of writing Civil War III.

Why are the heroes fighting? Who is leading each side? Who wins?

Falcon Cap VS. Ironheart

It is, after all, the current year.

Whatever the reason is, clearly Tony will be leading one side. Because Tony is always leading one side.

The heroes are fighting because Tony said he would suck Steve's balls if leprechauns were real and then the Avengers find a leprechaun. Tony refuses to suck Steve's balls and the Avengers split on whether Tony was joking or not and whether he should have to pay up regardless.

Before the event even starts, I will take all my favourite characters and put them on a team with a strict "no ideological hero infighting policy".

They will sit out the war, regardless of their personal opinions, and they will be the only ones available to deal with a serious external threat while the other fuckwits are fighting each other.
This will result in my team of pet heroes being lauded as real heroes, while the other petulant assholes are deservedly ostracized for being petty self-absorbed assholes.

...

taco night vs chinese food at the avengers sleepover

lots will die

Who the fuck would choose chinese food for a sleepover?

Civil War should be a conflict within the US government itself, with officials and citizens divided.
51-State Initiative can be a thing, both Pro and Anti-registry should have it's share of moderates and extremists.
The superheroes shouldn't be foot soldiers, but people with varying in how they deal with their situation.
Some on the pro side will turn a blind-eye to a few people who hadn't signed, some on the anti side don't have to go into hiding depending on the location.

Has to be Carol v Steve to complete the triangle.

>Choosing taco night over Chinese food.

Kill yourself.

Next Civil War should be the loser has to be written by Bendis

Bendis vs Slott.

Chinese food tastes like shit after the two hours it's been cooked, honestly shit for sleepovers. I would know.
I don't eat tacos though, so I'm kinda torn.

see? this shit is writting itself already

>The superhero community finds out Hydra has entrenched itself to the highest levels of the U.S. government (see, Marvel fans, we watched "The Winter Soldier" too!)
>Captain America and his followers take charge in weeding out Hydra and in the process slowly take control of the U.S. government, believing they're more reliable than the politicians (See, Marvel fans, we watched "Civil War" too! And didn't get it!)
>Captain Marvel opposes this because as a career military woman she has the uttermost respect and dedication to the chain of command, as do several heroes who side with her
>"Then let's fight"

Honestly, this. The best way to deal with a civil war type event is to introduce a bigger threat in the middle that makes the infighting look unimportant.

>Tony refuses to suck Steve's balls
I can only suspend my disbelief up to a certain point.

Who does Iron Man side with?

Which side does a Spider-Man ultimately switch to?

What is the controversial Goliath/Banner event that causes fractures in the drawn lines?

Not him but,
Iron-Man should be with Captain America because they're never on the same side for some reason.
Spider-Man hates Hydra because his parents are dead so he'll side with Captain America.
A token black character will die, or maybe an A-lister that'll be brought back to life later.

skub

Fuck both of you. Pizza is where it's at

just make it about the accords again, only this time don't go full retard.

I'm all for this

Doom vs Strange
Maker vs Pym
Ultimates vs Bob

I make it the shittiest run ever. Making it so bad that the faggots at Marvel will never have another shitty Civil War event for years to come.

>Alright Cred Forums, you're now in charge of writing Civil War III.
Cool. Blade is now an important character to the plot.

>Why are the heroes fighting?
No idea.

>Who is leading each side?
Blade is leading one side, the second coolest guy leads the other side.

>Who wins?
Blade's side.

The argument is: are vampires people?

Tony Stark (it's always Stark, right?) says yes, they deserve a chance.

I think we know what Blade's stance on the matter is.

In the end it turns out it was a plot by vampires to take over somehow and Blade is like, told you.

Also someone has to die for pathos/sales so I'll go with... The Thing. Yeah, that'll do it.

Civil War 2 has a ten year gap between it and the first one

I intend to make it a 20 year gap.

>the thing
No. I want to kill of a street level hero that everyone loves.

Iron Fist gets bitten, and Blade has to kill him because deus ex machina vampire cure somehow doesn't work on Iron Fist. Blade, DareDevil, and Luke need to team up to take down vampire enhanced Iron Fist.

Normally the fighting should be over something morally ambiguous user. No decent person could possibly be ok with skub.

They split up over the issue of internet anonymity and free speech.
Tony( because fucking everything involves Tony) leads marvel's counterpart to Cred Forums in Shitposting, while , Idk, Ironheart or some shit leads a group of SJW's

It's literally just them and the internet fighting. No one else cares
The real winner is everyone who watches the shit show unfold.

Also, some no name hero is gonna kill themselves over cyber bullying

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

Shouldnt you skubstralians be in bed right now?

>Black on black violence
>Not Falcon Cap and Ironheart vs White Nick Fury
Not current year enough, son.

Make magic an issue, since apparently its a real thing that is accessible.
Dr Stange on one side of the "magic isn't a thing for the common man" argument.
Obviously Stark on the other side because "magic would make a lot of peoples lives better."

Hideously one sided fights ensue because fucking magic.

Flatten manhattan, that'll fill the quota for heroes killed.

Trump vs Marvel
The first say that minority are not people, while the others say that they are.

Trump and Nick Fury

Trump wins by breaking the fourth wall and buy the company. After he win, every hero needs to kill every mexican on the border with USA and nothing else. Also, every mutant is now considered an american citizien.

>Buy the company

With what, fake tan and tiny nail trimmings?

Lost me at making all muties citizens

>Why are the heroes fighting?
Rightclops had enough of the inhumans and Stark's shit

>Who is leading each side?
Rightclops vs Tony who is secretly mind controlled by an outside force

>Who wins?
All the ''heroes'' kill each other, the outside force is revealed to be Sheev. The galactic empire invades the milky way galaxy.

Female heros vs male heros, the men are sexist or something, the girls win.

Howard the Duck vs Hellcat

who gets the last piece of cake in the fridge?

Why the hell did they think hiring the Thunderbolts would be a good idea?

Fucking this.

At a goddamn *sleepover*, why would you risk people fucking up the toilet with tacos? Why would you make people use utensils and all that crap with Chinese food?

Pizza literally has no flaws in this scenario.

Eight issues, Marvel Characters led by Warlock Tribunal vs Marvel Editorial Staff
A collaboration by Starlin and Hickman and Ellis and Declan Shalvey on art.

Pretty much just one issue of setup and seven issues of the entire Marvel universe beating on Marvel staffers.

When the event is over, Bendis and his cohorts are removed from Marvel. Hickman becomes editor-in-chief, and more offers are made to people like Grant Morrison, Kieron Gillen and Neil Gaiman to write books of their choosing.

Greg Land is never hired again.

Dude what.

Hickman GOT his event and it was SHIT. Everything happened off panel, none of his characters were satisfying, he hit the same terrible notes Marvel's hit since the first Civil War. He doesn't deserve an editor's position when he can't organize a fucking Avengers run.

I make it so objectively terrible that no one can justify buying it after the first issue, it becomes one of the worst selling comics all time, killing events forever

Like, Unfunnies-level terrible

this is a good plan

Offer criminals a pardon to hunt down villains and heroes alike. Zemo was doing a pretty good job of it when he was running the team early in the War.

>what is Annihilation

I think I get it, though.

He had some great ideas, but the good writers will be the ones actually putting those ideas to use.

Milky way galaxy is a tautology, by the way, as galaxy derives from the Greek word for milk, gala. All galaxies out there are milky ways.

Do the classic truth vs. ideal clash.

Say the heroes found that SHIELD hijacked the US government in the twilight of WW2, and dropped the 2nd Nuke to end the war quickly. This is of course despite the japanese already losing the war and wanting to surrender after the 1st nuke.

Sunfire founds the truth and try to tell the public about it as team truth. He's with bunch of rowdy heroes and some ani-hero villains such as Spiderman, Wolverine, Magneto (WW2 and that kind of genocide is very special to Magneto) vs. your classic government goons as team ideal like Cap, Black Widow, Iron Man, Hawkeye.

No one likes a pedant, user

And it's not a tautology regardless

>I think we know what Blade's stance on the matter is.
He's literally fucking a British vampire, man.
Or, well, he was. Who fucking knows what happened to Jac since.

>Do the classic truth vs. ideal clash.
Fuck off, we all played Pokémon BW. You're fooling nobody.

How about villains fighting villains instead of more shit feces?

Mutants vs. Inhumans is coming up real soon.

>How about villains fighting villains instead of more shit feces?
Holy shit, people actually can't process the idea of heroes fighting villains anymore. Marvel has done it, they've mindfucked us all.

Everyone realizes they must be a bunch of idiots to get into 3 civil wars and all kill themselves in the end.

She's one of the good ones

The only thing that ever made sense for heros to argue over is what happenes to villians, kill or no kill?
Even though this is comics and they will come back in some form or another anyway.

Sam Wilson "Captain America" vs. Steve Rogers Captain America

A galactic war between Shiar, Kree, Skrulls and a few others that Earth doesn't even know exist yet has rocked the Galaxy. The many cosmic friends to earth heroes have asked for Earth to choose a side. It'd be more political for the first three issues with the various groups trying to make various claims towards different sides.

It ends with different Earth heroes and Nations choosing different sides and marking Earth as a member of galactic politics.

>Why are the heroes fighting?

They find a message board post arguing over which superhero or villain would win if they all got into a fight

>Who is leading each side?

Every hero has their own side

>Who wins

The Shocker but everyone agrees to say that he didn't because no one wants to lose to The Shcoker

States' Rights

Reformed villains who are trying to be heroes?

The civil war would be reformed villains, or villains who are trying to reform vs Hood and his new little army of bad guys

Its a US rep super hero vs a hero eho stands for freedom.
One said xhe wanted to vote for Hillary. The other said everyone needed to vote for Trump. Then a Spiderman leads his own team to fight for Bernie, while Hulk is out in space placing ad campaigns for Obama re-election.
Its a Bendis meta story meant to show every reader why Coke is better than Pepsi.

>Iron-Man should be with Captain America because they're never on the same side for some reason.
Aren't Sam and Tony on the same side right now?

>Alright Cred Forums, you're now in charge of writing Civil War III.
I say "fuck this shit" and don't try to rehash a story that was already bad the first two times.