Cartman x Heidi

A true heroes saved us from Leslie

youtube.com/watch?v=CYP7BW1XYeo

Do you think the Douchebag will be able to beat him as a boss battle in FBW He's undefeated so far

HEY LESLIE SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

Don't forget Ike.

Of course, you can't forget Ike

I want to like this ship, but there is something really bothering me. I can't remember too well, but wasn't Heidi the one Cartman gave the laxative brownie's too and made her shit her pants in class. Later in the principal office they tell Cartman she was in the Hospital with a broken pelvis or something?

No, shes the one whos dad was killed by the sunbeam off Cartman churchroof

According to the SP Wiki, she is the Two-Faced Bitch in the Stick of Truth. I wonder if this will play into the season's arc at all.

How do you define virginity for gays?

Popping the Prostate Cherry.

It was cute, then it got suddenly lewd at the very end

Isn't Cartman gay?

He certainly always read that way to me, never showing much interest in girls, and often showing outright hatred.

>mfw Heidi just shows Cartman a medical book on the female body.
Cartman:OOOH KEEEWL.

He is confused and frustrated
But yeah the cupid me thing specially was pretty gay

All the way back years ago when they went to their version of Hooters, all the guys were obsessed with the girls except for Cartman, who was obsessed with the chicken wings.

Being fat has the effect of delaying puberty.
Plus having a small dick complex can lead to a fox and the grapes relationship with Cartman and girls.

Did this actually happen to people? I was too scared to even touch girls, much less play doctor with them.

Sure it can happen girls mature earlier than boys.
I was too busy playing videogames.
And I dont regret it.

Like sex, it seems to be the sort of thing that happens to other people.

HEY LESLIE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

Confused more than anything. He's been shown to have crushes on girls (wendy, Patty Nelson, and I think one more), but done weird sexual stuff with boys.

Well, lots of fat guys goes through gay phases in high school because they think they are not traditionally atractive and if they can't get a gf, they just get super absorbed with themselves and become "gay" and hang out with the gurls that way.

LESLIE PUT A FUCKING SOCK IN IT

So Cred Forums, how's he gonna ruin it.
My best guess would be
>Everything goes great
>Actually becomes a pretty cool/nice boyfriend for almost the entire season
>Last episode hits
>Due to a bunch of crazy events has to pick between saving Heidi or fucking with Kyle
>Chooses to ruin Kyle's plan
>Literally destroy his own chance of happiness just so Kyle can't be happy either
I think it fits Matt and Trey's style and is a good mix of funny and tragic.

They were all two-faced bitches. That was the joke.

There isn't nearly enough Cartman/Heidi fan art yet. If this were a gay pairing we'd have enough to hit image limit by now. Quality too. God dammit.

>tfw no matter what cartman is gonna get f/cucked over
i guess if he sees some heidi cunny it would be fine

>mfw I knew a guy like that, he married a plain jane recently and hit the gym

The problem with CartmanxHeidi is the Cartman part. Apart from being a fatty, which nobody likes, he's a goddamn horrible human being and most people want to see him crash and burn, and we all know he eventually will.

HEY LESLIE SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

DAMN IT LESLIE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING PIE HOLE

Never thought I'd actually care about a South Park ship

Why did Heidi quit Twitter again?

trolling

SkankHunt42 bullied her.

>Lauren Zuke.png
laffin

Would Matt and Trey do it?
Showing Heidi's taint?

probably in the videogame but only in the us versions

Cartman is the most entertaining aspect of the show. With his confidence, ambition and cleverness he really ought to be swimming in tail, but it's offset by the fact that he's a self destructive rage monster with 0 common sense.

That's what makes this ship so cute, and why, sadly, you're right: It is doomed to fail.

Is Cartman just playing her or really enjoying her company?

>Cartman is the most entertaining aspect of the show.
Oh no, I'm with you there. But like you said, it still doesn't change the fact that his character is doomed for failure.

Lol EU

He is enjoying her company.

For now.

Remember that this is LITERALLY the fourth grade/year four. Hating girls is a normal meme among boys at that age.

>No episode next week

God fucking damn it.

He's shown signs of being attracted to girls, but he's also shown signs of being attracted to men. He's also shown signs of psychopathy, dissociative identity disorder, schizophrenia, etc.

Gay, straight... Cartman is just a messed up little kid.

>All them tumblr girls freaking out over the pairing

I want to watch South park but i dont want to sit through 20 fucking seasons and i'm more interested in the newer episodes anyways, what season should i start with? i was thinking 10 or even something like 14 or 15

When was the first time you saw a v j j irl Cred Forums?

I was around 12 and was in a club with my siblings and a cousin (12F, already had massive tits) swimming in the pool, the place was pretty much empty and they were only like 10 people around including us. She was wearing a two pieces swimsuit and somehow I convince her to take off the bottom part and show us while my younger brother and I cover her, she was quite bushy.
Some months later I got to felt her up and she gave me my first handjob.

COMICS

I remember when I was a kid (5-6 years old) a girl showed me hers while I showed her mine.

Then after 20 years I saw one again.

When I was 5. Caught a look of my friends's mom's because we were watching TV in his parents room and she was in a robe in bed and got up and I happened to be looking over. Let's just say that it might not even count there was so much bush.

I started having a little interest sometime in 3rd grade and it was very much there by 4th, but I started school a year late born in Illinois then moved and started puberty early. I didn't actually get anywhere with anyone.

>be huge when I started middle school compared to other kids (barring the kids who are legit giants)
>now am around 5' 9"

He's obviously playing her, you nignog.

17
the same night i got my wife preg

How would you guys feel if when Cartman goes back to being an asshole, instead of him and Heidi breaking up, they stay a couple and she becomes his partner in his schemes?

Never ever, I wonder if all those "playing doctor" or wincest stories are weirdly common fantasies or I was just sheltered as fuck.

How are you going to take it when Heiman gets torn apart?

>Do you want me to show you?
Damn, that reminds me of better times. I wish i could be 6 years old again.

I was 7.
She wasn't.
First kiss.

We might have been related. I'm not sure.

>Being THIS autistic

I like to think that, if they end together the inevitable gender war will happen, and one of them will realize that because of this they have to break up to end it.

Somehow because of this Cartman will return as his usual self.

Member innocence?

>Do you want me to show you?
>They both go to an ancient temple called the library
>she shows him in a book

...

Why the bloody hell would Gerald not be using incognito mode and/or locking his trolling folder? I fail to see why he wouldn't.

Everyone wishes that.
Except those people that had awful childhoods.
But they really don't matter.

Probably exactly what's gonna happen, even Matt & Trey aren't gonna go full cunny.

Mostly I'm impressed that they would have kept up "good Cartman" for nearly 2 seasons.

Schrodinger's incest is the best incest.

>tfw Patty Nelson will never reappear

Ten year olds doing... Ew. I hope they just play doctor.

desu I'd go back to being 9-11, there were nice things about early childhood but there was more substance to my mid-gradeschool years. 12 years old was both fucking glorious and a complete nightmare, fuck the first half of 6th grade seriously.

I haven't.

what did you say?

Next week is a dark week.

Its okay, The Flash starts up next week. It is not okay.

you wound me deeply.

at least the anime season starts next week. im also going to comic con and have no classes mon or tuesday, but this still sucks. on the bright side, they have plenty of time to work next weeks debate into the episode, so there will be more mr garrison

It's the new token black kid, every high school has a fat gay guy.

HEY LESLIE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

When I looked down.

Enjoying her company, because women are funny. Get over it.

Back when I was ten, there was one girl in my neighborhood who was really into me and my brother. She came from a pretty religious house, so looking back, her lusty advances were probably an out for all the purity. I probably would have done more stuff with her if my brother wasn't involved, and we were usually all together.

So yeah it happens. There is some innocence involved by kids just getting curious about the opposite sex, but the way she acted, she probably knew what she was doing.

Everyone who had a girlfriend end up having a break up Cartman will hook up with Heidi.

He's doing both.

Kids can have sex with each other. Get over it.

wow that sounds so nice. i hope she didn't kill it

Niiice.

FUCK OFF LESLIE

IT ALL RETURNS TO NOTHING

I was 900 years old
I looked upon the green Earth and I spotted a particularly beautiful mortal
For whatever reason I felt horny af.
My wife was out of town so I decided to drop by and look upon this beautiful creature.
Couple of months later, my wife finds out and tells me to off the offspring of my lovemaking.
Try to kill the kid, ends up suplexing me.
I decided to say fuck it and I went to fuck a horse instead.

Season 10 actually carries on some stuff from season 9 (Scientology ripping which Issac Hayes who played Chef left the show over, and Mr. Garrison getting a sex change).

Season 14 has episode 200/201 which are just fucking filled with callbacks and past characters returning and it will all be lost on you without having seen the 13 seasons before it.

Honestly, just do yourself a favor and start from the beginning. It might be a slog at points but you'll for sure appreciate it a lot more when you get to the newer stuff.

Just remember to watch "Bigger, Longer & Uncut" between season 3 and 4 and watch the movie version of Imaginationland when you get to it in Season 11 rather than just watching the split up 3-part episode version.

I was about 12 and the kids of some boarders that were staying at my house introduced the neighborhood to a new game called hide and go get it. Basically hide and seek, but girls hide and the boys try to find and catch them. If you catch a girl then she's your partner for the imminent preteen awkward group sex orgy. One time, I caught the sister, who was a few years older than me. well she sorta ran into me while running away from a different boy. That summer, I lost my virginity, experienced my first blowjob, experienced group sex, sex in the woods and sneak sex with the adults upstairs or even in the next room.

Which of the girls have gotten some? I know one is known as a slut.

Heidi Turner and Monica Ryland are two-faced bitches according to Stick of Truth, Bebe and Red are total sluts for shoes according to the List, Wendy had sex with Stan according to Trey and Matt, but the rest of the girls seem pure enough.

Jessica Rodriguez is a skank and a slut according to Stick of Truth.

They're all two-faced bitches, user. Didn't you get the joke?

bigger longer and uncut was made between season 2 and 3

>tfw had an awful childhood but my life's been awesome since I hit 19

Fuck going back to being a kid, that's for normies