Cred ForumsCo/'s Bizarre Adventure: Part6 is ending

Who is this skeleton character? I understand the Saint Pepsi reference with the Stand.

She can leave footprints in midair, right? the Warden could toss something at her, Dora pummels said thing into tiny bits, then the Warden walks toward Dora without realizing that one of the footprints remained in the airs and explodes in his face.

Big Skeleton from Funnybones

Could be a good opening move.

We also have a set up from last thread to have Grizz and Bender being the announcers for the fight.
I'll also work that in before the fight gets under way.

I think Dora's dialogue and personality needs a complete rewrite to make her as cheerful yet still capable of being serious like in the original show and to contrast her with Creepy Susie's gloomy doomist personality. She's just a Jotaro ripoff in the meantime.

It'd be better if it were a gradual change.
At the start of the part up until getting her stand in the psych ward her attitude and lines are fine, but after she's dealt with some of her issues there she should become somewhat more cheerful.

The addition of some more lines in places and changing the way she's described as reacting to certain events is probably all she really needs to make the change work.

Hmm, while trying to think of how to begin the fight a disturbing line of thought popped into my head.

So Dora gets here there, there's destroyed robots everywhere and the Warden is holding Droopy like a rag doll. He's all "Well, this is a surprise" and he's waving Droopy around like some kind of meat puppet.

Then my thoughts jumped to and how the Warden did wear a dead rabbit as a hat once so it's not COMPLETELY implausible.

But no, no... that would be weird.

>Dora arrives at the roof of the jail, there are destroyed robots everywhere
>The Warden is over near the edge looking out at the world being remade
>He turns and sees Dora, then cracks a smile “Well, this is a surprise.”
>As he gets up he’s holding something: the limp body of Droopy, he’s waving him around as he talks “So, come to throw your hat into the ring as well?”
>Dora is glaring at the Warden, he looks puzzled over this anger and then looks to his and notices he’s still holding Droopy “Oh, this? Just showing my guard dog why I’m the warden.”
>He casually tosses Droopy’s body over to Dora, [Boots] catches him and lays him down gently
>Dora: “Can you say ‘Soy un monstruo’?”
>The Warden, while leaning on his cane a bit and bobbing on his heels “Sorry, not a clue what you’re saying.”
>Dora: “That’s OK, let me teach you.”
>[Boots] takes off into the air with Dora following
>The Warden looks up at her, he’s all smiles “Whaaaaat? You can fly now?”
>Dora and [Boots] build up some speed before going after the Warden; they’ve become a blur by the time they move in to attack
>The Warden still looks excited right as one of [Boots]’ boots is an inch from his face
>With moves too fast to read, the Warden has deflected [Boots] with his cane, which is glowing with STAR power
>Dora, thinking (Damn, so he can even touch stands directly now? Well you’re not the only one with tricks.)
>The Warden looks at his cane, it’s smoking where the kick connected, but he can see the outline of a blue footprint on it
>He examinees it more closely, “Now what could this-“
>The Warden is engulfed in a massive explosion that sends him rolling head of heels across the roof of the jail
>When he stops he’s flat on his ass and there’s smoke coming from his clothes, his eyes are also spinning, but he’s still smiling “Wow, she’s got some kick to her!”
cont.

>The Warden shakes it off (literally shaking and clearing off all the suit and mild burn damage to his clothes)
>The Warden: “So, it looks like you’ve figured out one of my tricks. I guess that old fossil really knows his stuff.”
>He stands up and begins thinking before a light bulb appears above his head "Oh wait, I have just the things for this occasion!"
>Warden puts his hand into PI as if trying to find some specific toy in a toy bag.
>Inside PI we see buffed Summer and El Oso wrestling in the distance with the hellbeasts while Bender and Grizzly are commenting on how they are going to survive (could use some lines here)
>The Warden pulls Bender and Grizzly out of PI, "There you go!"
>Bender and Grizz look terrified as the Warden puts and arm around both of them with him in the middle "Now, my hosts, do your jobs and I won't have to kill you permanently, 'k?"
>They're too terrified of being sent back into PI so they begin setting up to host the fight as fast as they can

I don't even know what to do with those two since no one ever clued me in on the thing their voice actors worked on together.
But I have a feeling this was wanted.

You guys should watch a couple of Paul Verhoeven action movies so you can get the sense of both wackiness and seriousness needed for writing part 7.

bump

Thanks for the tip. Are there any you'd recommend?

And tomorrow more of me muddling through this final battle.

Provided the thread is still up of course.

I really want to get this part "done" in this thread.

I think that's possible. As for the death count, write it how you want and if it feels off we can always go back to it later. Benefits of being the only writer at the moment, we appreciate your work user.

Unrelated, I kind of want to start part 7 with Nobody staring at some unseen symbol (presumably Superman's S) and lamenting to some minor character about how the battle between good and evil has become so predictable or something else hinting at his plan. I'd need to read those Doom Patrol issues before I'm sure what the monologue would be about. Either that opening or a Toonami bump about the race, narrated by T.O.M.

Robocop, Total Recall, Starship Troopers, full of action yet also very tongue in cheek and satirical.

I think that link should be ditched altogether; it's becoming nothing more but a platform for someone to goad us into moving to baitchan.

Well I've seen Starship Troopers and Marauder (which was shit) but I haven't seen Total Recallor Robocop /yet/.

Bumping it.

the narration from T.O.M. could be shortly before the start of the race. In fact, there is/was a vocaroo about that.

So, essentially, in the Heart of Melody, it is a "kids' episode". We have a bunch of kids as main characters, their old mentors, classmates to save...

Sorry, rambling. I have a villain for Heart of Melody.

Stand Name: [AMENO]
Stand User: Grandfather Deacon (The old gray mouse from Good Will To Men.)
Ability: [AMENO] makes people do a complete conversion of their belief to Deacon, acting as his minions and sharing his desires. The stand works very slowly on the adult people and requires direct contact. It, however, is extremely fast at converting young people. Children, to be exact. The Deacon himself cannot hold control over more than 6 persons at a time, but he can reroute the belief of the converted person to one of the first 6 converted. They six cannot convert themselves and can hold only 1 person at a time. Stand Users are converted slower, no matter if adult or child.

Appearance: The Grandfather Squirrel from Peace on Earth.

Role: A villain, can be one of the people heroes must retrieve their classmates from.

I feel like she should start off as less Jotaro-lite and more tired, "been-there-done-that". She's lived quite the life for her age and should be a bit hesitant to open up.

I liked the idea of Part 7 starting off with a Sandman style chapter about Jack and a group of forgotten heroes.

I think the name Ameno was already picked for a Stand in part 8, though it also had an alternate name.

Looked through the doc. No Ameno there. Although it might have been lost in another raid...

I don't know what the death count should be.
The idea was that when PI explodes it flings everyone inside of it outside of it at high speeds burning off all the excess STAR it still had.

I do have about 61 selective pages of Doom Patrol to post to make sure everyone knows EXACTLY what kind of personality Mr. Nobody has, but that'll have to wait until I'm done with part 6.

So how much fighting should happen before the supermax plug gets pulled?

I'm concerned this might be too similar to the Red Guy's snack factory, but this is a conscious, planned effort instead of a coincidental opportunistic demon taking advantage of a situation.

Hmm.... honestly? I can see the Deacon as more of a accidental fight with the heroes than someone working with Gaston and Censored Security.

Like, he could mistake Skippy and Cheburashka as vandals for his church, and once Volk, Roger or Jessica clear things up forgives them.

So, more of a neutral party more than anything, since if he's a priest he may try and act as an outside party after hearing about what happened to Skippy's home.

Anyway, so far there are just two kids in the main characters for Heart of Melody, 4-5 adults, and one teen for the heroes so far.

Not to mention I've yet to have any idea on how this guy could fit since I... really don't see him as being in charge of an editing facility. That, and in the pic he looks more like a mouse than a squirrel.

Hm. True. It makes sense. So, the Deacon is neutral party. Some of the captured classmates are in his custody, since he rescued them and whatnot. Misunderstanding happens, battle happens, misunderstaning is resolved, classmates are freed.

Sorry for confusion, the pic is the character himself. The stand is this pic. Sorry for cropped pic, couldn't find better quality.

Bump just so the thread will be up when I actually get around to having time to write this thing.

No prob Taffy, thanks for the help as well!

While I'm thinking about it, had an idea on getting Scud and D.A.V.E. into 7. I was thinking they're a team of assassins/agents under Nobody's employ that keep an eye on the race and off players that investigate the corpse parts. At first they act as a unit and are kind of those two bad guys, a threat but nothing serious.

As the story progresses, Scud starts questioning his orders while D.A.V.E. starts taking them more seriously and gets more dangerous. Basically, the more of a good guy Scud becomes, the more threatening villain D.A.V.E. becomes. Naturally they end up fighting each other.

I have some collections of ideas involving Scud before they get to the robot village/town/city at the edge of the hole the Looniversity sunk into.

Scud will have attempted to kill the main characters by that point (I'm thinking a fight on top of a speeding bullet train while whatever vehicles they have are also going fast), but he failed and his orders are he can only make attempts during the race and not the cool down times between segments of the race.

So when he comes to and walks to the next check point and sees it's the robot town, he gets an "oh no" since it's like his home town.
The peachier bot from Futurama would give him a hard time for his life choices.

He ends up allying with the heroes to fend off Gatlocke when he tries to raid the town to kill robots and take jawbreakers. I'm thinking Gatlocke wouldn't have a crew other than those hover bike riding droids from the first Clone Wars cartoon, the ones with the lances.

I was thinking part 7 could start with Yellowjacket in his civilian guise having just been kicked out of his publisher's office while being yelled at to come up with something better. He sees a flyer for the race, puts on a makeshift super suit, then tries to register with the intent of interviewing the racers. While he's registering Pym stops him from using the name Yellowjacket since he has that copyrighted. Pym should be presented as a smug asshole in this scene, so YJ just registers as Jack.

Then the scene would pan away from Jack to maybe a fight happening or Hex capturing a bounty.

Just a lot of lose ideas right now.

Also, I really have no idea where to go with this final part 6 fight, so any suggestions would be helpful.
I don't really have time to work on it right now, but I probably will later.

Ah, it's nothing. Wait. I just remembered that I am in charge of Corge Costar, by proxy. Got any ideas?

Yeah, I see Scud constantly flip flopping on which side he's on. He could be either helping or hindering the heroes at any given time.

I found this one looking through the archive: desuarchive.org/co/thread/83127903/#83165775

Red Guy's fight had several phases, how many we are having in this one? half of the fight could be with Supermax online and the other half after is disconnected.

There was an idea that D.A.V.E. was built from the remains of HARDAC by the robot cult. We also have to define for once what One Last Time does.

I was thinking something to do with personality reading. Something along the lines of OLT being able to figure out a person's personality and how they usually react to certain events, so DAVE can make educated guesses on what his target will do next or how they will deal with an attack.