Things you won't hear Muslims say

Things you won't hear Muslims say

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taqiya
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That goat is too dirty to fuck

There is literally nothing wrong with being an infidel

Wow, this bacon sure is good.

She's too young to marry

She's 6 years old I probably shouldn't rape her.

I disagree with you, but I respect your right to criticize my beliefs.

"It seems improbable that Muhammad was actually a prophet."

We need to adapt the values of the people we have overrun.

I realy should have not put up my coran in next to my workplace to literally shove peoples faces in it when they visit.

My country is in a state of constant warfare. I shall immigrate to another country in order to start a better life. And when I get there, I am going to start blowing things up. Because that makes sense for someone fleeing a warzone to do.

Peace on earth and goodwill towards men.

Yes, I will have bacon with that.
Women have such insightful opinions.
I would like to rationally discuss modern Islamic beliefs and their relavance to today's world.
I might go and try to fit into the local culture instead of attempting to force it to be more like my own.
I have to admit, we really Muslims are terrible at getting along with one another.
I'll just go buy some deodorant.

We should accept that people have other cultures, and if we move there, we should assimilate

This is a trick question. There is nothing a Muslim couldn't say because their religion allows them to lie.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taqiya

Its not a question and its not what a mudslime cant say, its what a mudslime would not say.

We should respect the nations which have offered us great hospitality and adopt into our own communities the first world values that have enabled them a comfortable living standard.

That dress is too long.

Things you won't hear a Muslim president say:

I am a Muslim

I don't know how to make a bomb.

Ooooh boy, I will bomb the shit out of my adoptive country while we're still only 0.008% of the population!

"If you kill your enemies, they win!"

Hold my beer while I go for a shit sitting down.

>Women have such insightful opinions.

To be fair, no one would say that

I respect other people's faith and opinions.

kek

überprüft

mein neger

i hate rapists

Sorry, but I don't speak German my friend.

sorry for 2014 m8 :^)

Come dear Christians, take our lands and build your churches. We will also give welfare to Christians in need!

It's alright, I hate soccer anyways, I called the blitzkrieg before it happened.

"Im in ISIS because of colonialism and it has nothing to do with my religion."

"ISIS are infidels"

"Shariah Law is imperfect"

I love you.

"Woah mate, isn't she a little young?"

>soccer

you really hate it.

what other sports are popular in brazil? i mean besides football and jujitsu.

That's pretty much it, other than some niche stuff nothing is as big as football or UFC.

Befriend all those who insult Islam!

"Maybe we should name our child something other than Muhammad. "

i forgot beach volleyball but i guess that's as much of a sport as belgium is a country.

>tfw you realise the difference between wwe and ufc

Islam is a religion of violence!

I see you failed English class, Niko.

If they insult islam take them and cut off their dreads!

Your tolerant, multicultural attitude is so charming! Now we will never harm you or your citizens!

We must respect other people's cultures and religion
Mohammed was a pedophile and perhaps wrong
I think we should not take Islam literally guys

We'll take some of those Syrian refugees

Niceland

>Israel has a right to exist

Yeah we imported like 800 Muslims and they're all uptight cunts. Luckily they almost exclusively beat up each other.

>burn all your bridges
>piss on the ashes
>alienate your friends
>spend two years and a shitload of money to get fucking humiliated in two minutes

god bless you vikings.

kek

This is "things you wouldn't hear Muslims say" not "things you wouldn't hear Cred Forums say"

Thank you, and hopefully your country won't take in as many muslims this year

Classic Australian banter.
Stay gold, aussie boy

I am not in the mood to kill a couple hundred strangers right now. I've got a pork loin in the oven.

>when lying is basically a core principle of your religion

Ill have a bacon cheesburger, fries and a coke please. No I will not behead that child

kek wills it

A fucking leaf

>whites commit all the crime
CHICAGO

''i understand why europeans and americans hate muslims. ISIS are bunch of assholes for ruining our reputation so we should really stop harboring them and let the westerners wire our mosques.''
what you'll really hear something like ''omg we're the real victims, now people will look funny at us.''

>Ill have a bacon cheesburger
muslims who've never seen bacon before have ordered it.

Freedom of religion is a good thing

Everyone I know is names Muhammad, I think I'll name my son Josh instead.