Really ?!?

they must be a joy to hang around with. No tv,no beer,no books cause paper is bad....those signs are a waste of paper!

welcome to modern society

"Your #1 Source For So Called “News”

Straight Stoned was founded by our forefathers on a dark and stormy day during the Civil War. Gradually, Straight Stoned has grown to be one of the most iconic brands in the known Universe. We report on news that occurs lightyears away and bring it to you directly, faster than light speed. You are sitting there and asking yourself, “How is this possible? Is Straight Stoned that great of a news source?” The answer is yes. We are the greatest of all time and will continue revolutionizing universal news for the next 7 trillion years – until the dark and chaotic environment of the universe rips us a part in it’s final moments. Even then, we’ll still report it – if anyone is still on the internet..

Most importantly, if you believe any of this, you are dumb as rocks. Welcome to the lovely satirical world of Straight Stoned."

>mfw I am worse than every communist leader combined

Absolutely mandatory thread theme
youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk

Sure, buddy. I guess abortion is okay if jerking it is fine, because this is where this is going.

But only one sperm ever wins the race...

Shopped picture, shit thread.

It's not a mortal sin, retard.

It's a radical group that mocks anti aboriton.

Your sperm dies anyway (not sure how long they last for in your sack)
So if you want to get technical you can just wank once every week or two ( however long sperm lives for in your sack)

thats obviously shooped tho

ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEE!!???

It's fake you retards.

Wouldn't a woman having a period instead of getting pregnant that cycle also be murder?

who can tell with leftshits anymore

now thats a cringe worthy picture

Damn, I'm responsible for two outright genocides today alone.

Welp, too late to stop now.

I could tell that was shopped from the thumbnail

>pro-lifers are all like this goy! kill your unborn children so you can ship in more immigrants to save your dwindling population!

I am an atheist prolifer and this stance is objectively wrong.

sperm cells are not alive because they are haploid so onl have half the dna needed to perform mitosis or other vital life functions.

Obvious straw man is obvious

Is this ironic

Catholic here
No we don't

Its a shop you fucking cretin sperglords. Why is everyone here so retarded?

No wonder the UK has so many pedophile and child sex abuse.

How could kids be allowed to sing about sperm.

Total (2016) we are so sensitive that everything get censored or banned.

>mfw I'm killing half a billion 4 times a day

so every period is also murder, they should let me impregnate them

You can make clones with body cells, they have diploid DNA
Biting your fingers should be illegal

it is a mortal sin but not because sperm count as children yet

I too am a fan of Monty Python OP!
m.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk

>Tfw they menstruate
>tfw they kill too under these circumstances
>tfw I'm on mobile and cannot into meme

Jokes on them. I'm no longer pro life since I heard abortions kill more minorities than we ever could.

No, not really.

snopes.com/every-sperm-is-sacred/

bad photoshop lib tard

This is a shoop.
I can tell from the pixels and from having seen a fair number of shoops in my day.

This is looked like to be photoshopped.

Hahaha, referencing Monty Python right in the title: youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk

>EJACULATION IS MURDER
>Written on the processed corpses of dead, innocent trees

I'm literally shaking right now.

fake and gay

This

They're gonna die anyway, might as well send them on one last rollercoaster ride before they perish. Don't let em die, let em fly!

There's not a single spot in the Bible that says not to fap.

The closest mention is the story of Onan where it says that him spilling his seed counted as sin, but it wasn't because his jizzed on the floor necessarily.
In ancient Hebrew law, if a man died without fathering a son, then his wife would be married to the dead man's brother and the first son they conceive would belong to the dead man in order to keep his line alive.
Onan basically said "fuck this, I don't want to raise someone else's kid" and pulled out instead of knocking his new wife up, which was breaking the law and counted as a sin.

I 100% agree that porn and fantasizing about people is sin btw, but fapping while staring at a wall is A-Ok.

the only way to save this shit is to have Zimbabwe at the bottom doing the you know what

does that mean I made a killing last night?

If masturbation isn't a sin, suicide isn't, trans ops aren't, and drugs aren't, and nor is pr0ns.

Nice try lefty

>BOZAWNIGUS

I think that's fake

>bio-tissue
everything is 'bio-tissue', retard

the line is LIFE begins at CONCEPTION
singular sperm or eggs aren't unique recombinations of dna resulting in an equally unique human life
Masturbation is a completely different issue
Stop getting your opinions from Monty Python (which is hilarious, mind you)
youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk

Human (potential) lives > all other lives retard

Haha what stupid beliefs. I'll take wholesome, accountable digit seering and traditional frog worship thank you very much.

They're right, but lives don't matter.

That sign looks fake

bait articles thats poorly shopped

go fuck yourself

>orgasm control fetish taken to a new level
Holy kek this is hilarious.

A fucking leaf!

1 Corinthians 3:16-17
"Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."

Leviticus 18:22
"You shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination."

1 Peter 5:8
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Mathew 5:28
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

2 Timothy 3:1-7
"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For the people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless,swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."