Things you won't hear black people say

Things you won't hear black people say

hi dad

We want Trump.

I just had a long day at work and need to go to sleep so I can wake up early.

I've been saving up all year for this new tv.

Genetic analysis of Egyptian DNA proves conclusively that Sub-Saharan Africans are not and were not represented among their gene pool

Yes sir, I'm following your instructions.

I just robbed the library.

yes officer i will comply

Bet y'all crackerasses can't beat me in a swimming race!

White Lives Matter

HE DIDU SOMETHING

Thank you for the warning officer

I will participate in my government in nonviolent ways.

BUT WE

Proper pronunciations of "ask" and "asleep".

Person of Color

I know who my father is

Hi son, I just bought a new bike for you!

SOA is better than CAS.

Will the defendant please rise

You fucking Google

Hmm... This really makes me think

The pronunciation "aks" is actually as old as the more common pronunciation now and both stem from old English.

I filled out 15 job applications today

No, I can't buy a new pair of shoes. I'm saving up for retirement and the kids education, besides I already own 2 good pairs.

>long day at work
>have to sleep more to go to work again tomorrow

Midweek days off WHEN

I've said these things right here.

In current english, s and k do not make an x sound.

"is my favorite book"

Nobody cares, google

>I want to be self-sufficient
>I want to settle down and have a family
>I want to dress respectably

The volume of my music is being played at an acceptable level.

Shut the fuck up

There are a lot of words in English that don't follow their spelling because the spelling came after the actual spoken language and the language itself has gone through a lot of changes while the spelling system has not.

Came here to post this

Well you're a, what's the new list again? I already forgot

I'M HERE FOR THE INTERVIEW AAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA WOOOOOOOOOOO

"We need more diversity in Africa if we want to survive!"

Won't hear Asians in Asian countries saying it either.

It was my fault and I accept full responsibility.

How are those futures looking, Johnson? I want to invest my company's assets smartly.

Yes and I'm sure those centuries-old African Americans have been using that pronunciation since they invented Old English, right Professor Goldsteinenberg?

It's "master" google

"the smaller the rims the better"

I love to learn!

I did it. I will come along peacefully.

>"Your ID and License, Sir"

"Yes officer, here it is"

I don't know if I can afford that; I'm on a budget.

Don't you have anything other than fruit flavored sodas?

Sup muh google?

We wuz old English and sheiiit

I don't think I will get that septum piercing.

I could never pay for groceries with foodstamps. That's embarrassing!

Things you never hear an officer say to a black man:

Here's my warrant right here.

Happy Father's Day Dad

Sorry I can't go out googing with you googles, I need to spend time with my kids.

Blacks are enforcing white racism by giving them no other option but to act

This is your final warning

>We better turn down our music, it's late at night and we don't want to bother the neighbors.

Let's not prejudge, best wait for the facts to come out.

I'll go get a condom.

I can read ...

>My dad is coming over.

Mlk was a stupid dirty nigger fucker

Happy birthday, son!

How much should I leave for tip?

It's been nearly 150 years since slavery
and it's been 50 since the segregation.

If we havent properly integrated it's our fault.

>i confess

I can't talk now I'm busy at work.

FUCK, I love being white

Tommy Sotomeyer (or however it's fucking spelt) is the kind of black guy that would say that. Don't agree with everything he says but he is a pretty good man