I have never posted on Cred Forums, just lurk...

I have never posted on Cred Forums, just lurk, but the clowns are beginning to appear in my area and i'm afraid of my and my family's safety
how should I go about dealing with this? I doubt I'll be able to get a firearm. I'm a 21 year old college student who lives with his parents and only works part time. But I could probably get a bladed weapon. should I convince my father to allow us to get a firearm or should I buy a bladed weapon better than my usual pocket knife? any suggestions?

also, clown stories if you have any.

Other urls found in this thread:

npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/09/24/495298587/sinister-clowns-are-scaring-people-in-multiple-states
al.com/news/index.ssf/2016/09/clowns_continue_to_make_an_imp.html
savannahnow.com/news/2016-09-14/sighting-clown-gun-reported-georgia
m.youtube.com/watch?v=3BeW3hSw9Sk
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

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> the clowns

Explain please

Why?

Clowns are supposed to be a funny thing right?

Why would you be scared?

Bump

Basically guys clowns are starting to appear around america and try to abduct kids, one approached my property

...

>he thinks the clowns aren't real

>viral marketing for the it remake
Pls go

don't abort your children

> clowns are starting to appear around America and try to abduct kids

wat

What the fuck is that supposed to mean
Is this some kind of an idiotic joke about that mcdonalds clown?

>I doubt I'll be able to get a firearm
Get one and shoot any clown you see that seem dangerous. They're literally failures at life and wound up as rapists and murderers. Don't feel bad at shooting a clown,they disgust me and you'll save a bunch of lolis and shotas.

npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/09/24/495298587/sinister-clowns-are-scaring-people-in-multiple-states

Google it faggot, clowns have been arrested, it's not a marketing campaign it's the beginning of civil war

Please they are over here too.

At first it was just a few of them, maybe one or two seen on the outskirts of my town.

Then they started making raids in the early morning, stealing people as they walk to work or mums and kids on the school run.

After that they began to appear in groups, loitering on street corners, honking at passers by and throwing cream pies.

People are disappearing. At least six houses have been taken over by them and the police do not want to do anything.

PLEASE SEND HELP.

We're having an epidemic

al.com/news/index.ssf/2016/09/clowns_continue_to_make_an_imp.html

...

>he thinks the clowns are in his area

#NotAllClowns

Fake normie shit to distract from actual threats (muslims)

>Up to this point, law enforcement officials have not uncovered any evidence — "not even a prankster in a clown suit" — as The Associated Press reported.
the new IT movie is going to be a disaster btw.

Is clowns code for Muslims?

THIS IS VIRAL MARKETING
MARKETING IS NOT ALLOWED HERE
OP HAS POSTED EVERY DAY IN THE LAST WEEK SAYING THE SAME THING ABOUT CLOWNS WITH A DIFFERENT STORY
STOP MARKETING HERE

>Marketers are committing felonies

Yeah ok CIDF

Shoot them. Kill them. Avenge me.

so the civil war won't be whites vs blacks and liberals but humans versus... fucking clowns?

Clowny daggers yall

Viral marketing for the IT remake.

It's clearly the beginning of /r9k/'s Beta Uprising.

There has never been a black person as a clown. Clowns are whites. BLM want to kill them. Clowns are killing cops and blacks! It adds up!

They wear clown costumes but they're most likely Muslims taking children for indoctrination

Oh no
It's begun
GET TO THE BUNKERS NOW
I WARNED EVERYONE
GET YOUR FUCKING TANGELOS OUT
WW3 IS ABOUT TO BEGIN
NO ONE IS SAFE

Nice try Rednose, but marketers wouldn't be abducting children.

Start listening to ICP and join the clowns!

Honestly not gonna lie, I saw some in my neighborhood when I was practicing driving. The day after my brother bought a pump shotgun and some boxes of shells.

>any suggestions?
Carry a bucket filled with water. They won't expect that.

>implying they're not
one tried to recruit me

Please go away Clowns.

We know what you are up to - we won't fucking stand for it I tell you! We'll wipe the disgusting greedy smiles from your faces soon enough!

Lube and a toolbox

Clowns are destroying the white race, shoot to kill on sight.

Las Vegas here, can confirm I saw one on the edge of campus last week. This is a real problem.

>he thinks the clowns aren't in his area but are real

Viral marketing for "IT" remake.

What do they want? Where do they come from? Who is their leader?

>>savannahnow.com/news/2016-09-14/sighting-clown-gun-reported-georgia
Not all that fake. Clowns in muh area. As well as 2 others were caught south of atlanta trying to lure kids in the woods. And they caught the sunva bitch in the woods with a machete. So say what you will creepy either way.

It's just people fucking around, user. They haven't killed anyone that we know of. It's happening here as well.

That being said, you need your father's permission to spend a hundred bucks or two on a firearm? Your family is noguns? Fuck that.

The police have gotten involved in several states, I don't think this is viral marketing any longer

...

Clown detected, don't listen to this red-nosed gigglefuck OP, you bite the bullet and you get yourself an AR-15 asap

>be me innawoods with dad
>we're plinking with new AR I just got for my 19th birthday
>dad says he is proud of the man I am becoming
>soniamproud.gif
>suddenly, the buzz of a 150cc engine fills the air
>a bright yellow car in multicolored polka-dots darts out from behind a tree
>it's about half the size of a smart car
>the door flies open and like 20 clowns surge out
>i have to dive to the ground to avoid the initial barrage of spraying lapel flowers and flying pies
>a cacophony of forced laughter and bike horns envelops the entire forest
>it must be a raiding party, scouting for new territory miles from their hive
>as I clamber to my feet I hear a shrill "GAHYUCK-HYUCK"ing rapidly approacing from my 7:00
>a gangly looking one is rushing at me in oversized shoes that fart with every step, attempting to garrote me with a long string of tied multicolored hankerchiefs
>I whirl and put five rounds into his chest
>his momentum catapults his lifeless corpse into my side and knocks me to the ground again
>vaguely register the whoopie cushions hidden in his pink-striped blue dress coat blasting their last raspberries into the chilled forest air
>after getting to my feet a second time I desperately look around for my dad
>The remaining clowns are all grouped in a frenzied huddle, spraying seltzer water and windmill slamming rubber chickens onto an unseen victim in the center of the melee
>Know it's already too late, choke back grief and rage and empty last of my mag into the horde
>The clowns try to retreat to their car, bullets send blood and gore laced with confetti and silly string spraying into the air
>manage to kill last of clowns before they escape with an expert tactical reload (thanks dad)
>rush to my dad
>lifeless eyes staring to the sky from beneath a pile of balloon animals and whipped cream
>mfw

kek

he said he just wanted to scare people since it was being reported on the news so much

>fake news story inspire young autists to dress as a clown
I guarantee the fags that't be arrested listens to ICP and Slipknot

I am sorry for your lots

Weird, a story just like this came up in my town a few days ago. Man in clown costume spotted near the woods at one of the middle schools. They're looking for leads.

Jesus fucking Christ

The clowns were the real threat all along. I'm not joking around. They're going to have the last laugh, just you watch.

>any longer

i live in b f e why they marketing here?

>IT remake

A juggalo was killed in my area.

He really wasn't doing anything other than being a retarded juggalo, but the clown hysteria whipped this guy up into a frenzy so when the juggalo made his walk from the mall back to his rural house (really only 6ish miles) the juggalo was shot smoking a cigarette on the side of a rural road where this guy's long ass driveway ended.

Maybe it wasn't the clown hysteria per se, still funny though

That would send the film makers to jail.

...

because muh racism muh trump

Jesus fucking christ they are outside right now - they're riding a tightrope on a unicycle from house to house and breaking in.

They'll be at my house soon and I'm unarmed.

Please, remembe me Cred Forums

I hope this is bait I'm biting

> clown hysteria

Fucking Berenstein timeline

>beginning of civil war

The Great Clown Wars

Because the Jews are always looking for an extra shekel.

Seriously, they've already fucking ruined it; the new design for pennywise is so outwardly intimidating, it's disgusting. The original was scary becausr he looked like a normal clown for the most part; he made you uneasy. This one is just stupid.

viral marketing for remake of IT. Ignore these threads.

>the clowns have crossed the Atlantic

>hey member pennywise?
YEAH YEAH I MEMBER

Dress like a lady clown and seduce them

This is actually a legitimate thing happening in the us. It was on drudge a couple weeks ago

>on a tightrope

1° buy a gun
2° shot on sight

This.
After that whole beast bill nonsense I don't trust any shit like this anymore.

Shoot them, word will spread, then they'll stop

>lady clown

It is common knowledge that the rare wild american clown only lusts after kids and young men.

Yeah because nothings says "watch my movie", like child abduction

Dumbass, clowns are asexual

Really though what's the best anti clown weapon? I carry an m9 now so that could be upgraded, but what about a main weapon?

I was thinking shotgun, because clowns wear loose fitting clothing, you may not hit them properly with a precision rifle. But that means I'd have to come within at least 50 yards of the clown.

I feel that staying far away and being aware is my greatest defense, I'd prefer to kill clowns from at least 100-150 yards, which means an AR set up, I'm thinking AR10.

BUT WHAT IF THEY SNEAK UP ON YOU

Beautiful.

>american
>no weapon

Come on. Lead is the only way for them to learn.

...

This exact thing happened in the UK, in Lincoln about 2/3 years ago.

Kershaw Blur is a pretty good choice for a pocket knife. Any fixed blade worth a shit would be too cumbersome to carry effectively. I'd say get a good machete to keep near your door and always carry a good, sharp folder on your person. Or man the fuck up and get a gun. 12 ga shotguns can be had pretty cheap, or you could get a revolver in .357

Get one of these and tell those clowns to BTFO

>it's another clown dystopian future episode
m.youtube.com/watch?v=3BeW3hSw9Sk

WHAT DO US BRITBROS DO THEN?? KNIVES ARE BANNED

If they get their custard pie on you and don't get to a doctor ASAP you begin the slow and terribly transformation into one of THEM. HEED THIS WARNING.

Nc fag here. they started out in my town and have spread. i live at ground zero for the clowns. they are everywhere but there havent been many reports. the other night one was looking in my window. help

Pre-loaded crossbow to take one out before they reach you, like the pussy you are.
Zweihänder for when you see them coming.
Knife in your boot for when you don't have enough space to use your Zweihänder.

You will run out of ammo long before the circus runs out of clowns.
Only steel needs not to be reloaded.

They are usually in wooded areas so my suggestion is the snare trap that hangs them upside down from a tree. That way, you can then safely cut their throat. Or. better, put them in your dungeon for entertainment.

Joke: why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Ncfag here
You're full of shit and falling for fake kikebook hysteria marketing

There just minor chaos deamons dude

why dont they eat clowns?