Nigger Stories Thread

Share Noteworthy or Humorous Nigger Stories here

never ever met one

>Work with a well-educated PoC
>He's cool and shit
>We check out hot customers and smoke

Fucking niggers, amirite?

I'll start.

>managing a nightclub
>called to front door
>crying asian girl with a black eye blubbering into her phone
>finally get her to hang up and talk to me
>she’s explaining that some negress stole her credit card
>bartender in the lounge calls for security while I’m talking to the police
>run around corner and through side door
>get to bar where 2 Treyvons and 2 fat Shaniquas are chimping at the bartender
>2 security already there
>3 more coming in from main floor
“Dis muthafucka won’t give me back muh goddamned credit card”
>take card from bartender
>’Which one of you ladies is ChingChong DingDong?’
>shrieking commences from all 4 boons
>one buck throws a beer bottle at the bartender
>motion to security
>they lock up the 2 bucks and drag them outside
>2 fat Shaniquas follow ooking and eeking
>get outside, bucks cuffed
>police arrive and tell Shaniquas they’re under arrest
>one Shaniqua kicks male cop in the balls
>he goes down like a sack of shit
>his female partner maces the fuck out of all of them
>we all catch some blowback, it sucks
>one Trayvon breaks away and runs for it, still cuffed
>runs straight into a fucking parking meter
thatsgottahurt.png

Turns out, the ONLY one who didn’t have an outstanding warrant was the sheboon who punched the asian girl and stole her card. I only had to testify one day, about three months later. Both Treyvons went away for over five years for other shit. Never found out what happened to the Shaniquas.

Lived in a bad neighborhood, niggers would always run even when a cop car was simply driving by.

Seriously, like fucking cockroaches they would scatter everywhere as soon as anyone saw a cop car.

>Pack of niggers moves into the shittiest house on the block (probably designated public housing thanks obama)
>three to four generations of coon up in hurr
>young men some gangbanging niggas
>See some obese white bitch mowing their lawn sometimes when I pass by
>family car is a police auction unmarked vehicle
>one of the youngins gets a job where I work
>buy some weed from him once cuz I'm also young and retarded at this time
>He calls me every fucking day for weeks after asking for me to smoke him out or buy him wraps
>become redpilled on the old saying that you never give a nigger anything because they will never stop coming back for more
>police sting locks up the entire family a few months later
>white trash family live there now

>walking to my car from campus
>fat black guy comes up to me and starts saying his car is out of gas and he had his license in his hand and everything while asking me for $20
>see him around campus asking people for $20
>comes up to me multiple times in the semester asking for $20 with the same story
>tell him to fuck off and he gets mad and walks away cursing

>stealing a credit card

Holy shit boons really don't have a concept of consequences. What was she going to do? Order some shit from the Internet to her home address?

Even if she didn't need the pin to use it in person (if it was one of those contactless cards), that shit is stupidly easy to trace.

Dumb fucking negress.

>fat black guy comes up to me and starts saying his car is out of gas and he had his license in his hand and everything while asking me for $20

Niggers love that story.
It's almost as good as a mixtape that's fire, yo.

>be managing the same nightclub
>techno night
>at least 1/3 asian
noworries.jpg
>made peace with asian gang leaders years ago
>fight called
>arrive to see 6’ nigger chimping out on 5’ asian
>kick asian out north door
>he apologizes
>kick nigger out west door
>his two buddies follow
>all screaming ‘Raciss!’
>parking lot across street
>the 3 niggers jump the asian manlet
>he still fights them off
>niggers soon wander back past club mumbling niggershit
linglingintobattlegoes.gif
>asian runs across road with a fucking samurai sword
>screaming in moonspeak
>chases all three niggers out of sight
>two weeks later asian comes back
>buy him a shot

>runs straight into a fucking parking meter

kek'd pretty good

My only decent story is a near mugging I avoided by hiding.

>be working late at work
>last one in the office, finally done, ready to lock up and leave
>exit through the back door
>as I turn around to lock the door I see a 1980s niggermobile driving through the alley in the reflection
>niggermobile passes the parking lot, comes to a stop, and reverses
>niggermobile stops in front of the parking lot, and begins to turn into the lot
>I see 3-4 Tyrones in the car
>wtf.jpg
>pat my pocket like I'm checking for my wallet
>unlock door
>reenter building
>niggermobile parks directly in front of door with brights on
>type 911 into phone and wait
>niggers playing loud music, flashing their brights, making hand motions out the car
>after 15 minutes they reverse and leave

The multicultural cuck in me says they dindu nuffin and I was being raysus. The Cred Forumsack in me says I should start carrying a gun to the office.

this

except the dudes I hanged with weren't well-educated

they was cool as hell tho and smoke like a chimney

>at gas station
>Sheboon in front of me
>Indian cashier
>she wants lottery tickets
>indian cashier can't understand nigger speak
>nigger gets frustrated starts chimpin and walks out the door
>give the indian cash for gas pump
>walk outside
>sheboon still chimping out saying some shit about "white folk"
>She notices that I hear her
>start pumping my gas
>sheboon starts chimping out on me "WTF YO SAY? WHAT U SAY?"
>i literally didnt say a word
>She tries to get her b/f or babbies daddy or whatever the fuck to do something about it
>He just ignores her lol
>finish pumping gas
>leave with out saying a word or incident

>Holy shit boons really don't have a concept of consequences. What was she going to do? Order some shit from the Internet to her home address?

No.
Her 360lb sheboon ass was going to try to buy some drinks with a credit card that had the name "ching chong ding dong" stamped on the front.

When she got called on her bullshit, she chimped the fuck out.
They always do.

I had 46 bouncers at my club. 10 were nogs.

Guess who were the only employees to call in sick every time we had a 'Hip-Hop' night?

>moonspeak

Fukken kek

>that ad
they always targeted niggers, huh?

>Well educated
>Customers
user...

>Lived in a ghetto ass apartment complex first two years of college
>Going into my apartment, black guy pushes his way in and home invades
>Roughs me up and throws me on his shoulder while walking around the place
>Think he's looking for stuff to steal but he's looking for the bedroom
>Throws me on the bed and strips me, forces me down and rapes me for several minutes
>Just barely managed to reach the pistol I had between the mattress and headboard, bring it to him
>Struggle follows and miss the first shot, hit him in the leg as he tries to run out
>Hold him at gunpoint in the bathroom till the damn cops get off their asses and make their way over to the shitty neighborhood

I ended up having to help the stupid nigger from bleeding out. I should have just killed him.

I get suspended for Global 3 for a legit post but this is totes magoats fine. KK guise.

>Me kid me, with younger brother and aunt in 1990s Brooklyn
>Aunt takes us to park
>2 niglets similar age to me and my brother
>They come up to us and gibber in niggerspeak
>Talk about how they can climb/swing/etc better than us
>Bro and I school them, they get mad and ook and eek off for awhile
>Leave with Aunt, start walking home
>Hear a CLUNK right behind the three of us
>The two niglets attempted to throw a brick at us from behind as we left

And from that day I hated niggers

These are both copy pasta. Have seen them posted before word for word.

They're MY copypasta, McLovin.

If you don't have any interesting nigger stories to share, get your fey paddyass back to the distillery.

>managing the same club
>security call from main floor
>a nigger had reached over the bar and grabbed a bottle
>female bartender grabbed other end
tugofwar.jpg
>nigger punched her in the face and is fighting through the crowd
>security chasing him
>call the police and leave the office
>I’m walking down a hall toward the bar
>nigger running toward me
>he stops and chugs from the bottle
>250lb batshit crazy Russian security guy tackles the fuck out of the nog
>it was grenadine. the fucking nigger stole a bottle of grenadine
>kek
>cuffed and dragged outside
>just as we get outside the buck chimps and makes a run for it
>straight into the fucking street
>gets hit by the arriving police car

mfw

>Thanks Obama
Nigga you just poor. Public housing only happens in poor neighborhoods.thats why it's called the project.
Why do you think a poor white family replaced a poor black family? Because you live in a poor ass neighborhood

Its been close to years since Iv seen you post it. No more nigger shenanigans since then?