FUCKING MAGPIES

magpiealert.com/Swooping-Magpie-Attack-Statistics.php

magpiealert.com/All-Australia-Magpie-Map.php

>Hostages in our house - can't go out the front door without being swooped. Likes the toddler most, then the 6 and 8 year old. Getting increasingly aggressive, regularly hitting their bike helmets. If they didn't wear their helmets in the garden, would have been injured for sure. Needless to say, they are terrified of playing in their own garden. Not a great school holiday. Doesn't seem to swoop adults. In tree in Banksia Farm.

>Heading north. A very quick attack and straight in under the left side of my helmet and did not fly off immediately but fluttered in place. I then hit a bit of slippery mud and went down and the bird swooped again but not too close. I took my helmet off and walked away and the magpie kept an eye on me but did not swoop again. If the lady in the beanie who was the front passenger in an SUV reads this, thanks for asking if I was OK (a double thumbs up for you)

>Near the child playground, the bird swooped at my head first touching me with its wing. It went to perch on a tree and then came back to us and scratched my 4 year old on the cheek. with its beak

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Fuck off, emu. Corvids are more based than you'll ever be.

Magpie genocide when?

>Corvids are more based than you'll ever be.
Crows are literally niggers.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs#C

This is how you teach your kid to shoot a BB gun and teach them about the necessity and importance of firearms.

Magpies are a bird of peace

not all magpies

you know what works great? shotguns. too bad you don't have any of those. studies have shown that crows avoid areas where they've seen other crows killed for up to three years.

Just smack them with a tennis racket

jesus christ if you can't take birds how are you going to beat the muslims

Magpies attack my wiener dog all the time when he's outside. They fucking swoop at him and try to lift him away. I shoot those fuckers on sight on my property

They also remember people they don't like and somehow keep multi-generational grudges. kek

>NZ charted as one of the States of Australia

>carrying a tennis racket everywhere you go
>not picking up a good stick
>implying the magpies don't come at you from out of nowhere and when you least expect it
>comparing magpies to shitskins

I usually get swooped by this shit skin Manlet bird.

I definitely recommend carrying the tennis racket everywhere and dealing all sorts of justice with iy

cricket bat works too

I usually just throw rocks at the fucking birds because they never fuck off

>Get garbage can lid for use as shield >Get large tennis racquet
>Embark on crusade

They dislike you coming near their nests and grounds. Some of those places may just happen to be your garden.

These darling things get caught in my verandah all the time (live on a farm), they let me catch them, hold them, rub my cheekbones against their faces, never been pecked or bitten.

Can you kill magpies without end?

This is why Australia lost the emu war. Traitors within your own ranks

You go to jail for hurting magpies. Same for spiders.

Don't be a bigot. He's studying animal psychological warfare and shits.

To add to this, you go to jail for brandishing anything that /could/ hurt someone.

Unless you're actually a criminal.
The cops don't give a shit

THREAD THEME
youtube.com/watch?v=Ceh0-42FXg0

GET THE FUCK IN HERE!! HAPPENING

if you're going to be that cucked just give in to the magpies

this is the gayest thread i've ever seen

>this is the gayest thread i've ever seen
Yea because all the
>le meme magic xDDDDDDD
threads couldn't be more Autistic than any other thread...

And also, this doesn't relate to you at all, so fuck off ya fat cunt and go shart in a mart

>getting cucked by birds
Spray their shit with poison and be done with it.

FUCKING MAGPIE CUUUUUUUUUUNTS

GAS THEM ALL REEEEEEEEE

the meme magic threads are gay but they aren't being terrorized by little birds and forbidden from defending themselves from them by their government

i know this has nothing to do with me but it's fucking fascinating how you can find yourself in this position

I can testify to that. I had a mini pocket knife in my pocket; had to go to court and now on bonds
>some other bogan was charged for producing home-made meths and the judge let him off
>"you're a promising young man with great potential"
>he wore baggy jeans and oversize NFL jersey to court

Just shoot them

Oh wait, sorry

>forbidden from defending themselves from them by their government
Where did you hear this? that's not even true lol

Most Australians will grab a stick and intimidate the bird and at most try and hit it but not kill it

Since you can't shoot them, get a slingshot, or a bit of 1/2 or 3/4 inch pvc tube and duct tape a cut-off finger from a heavy duty rubber glove on one end. Works a treat with small rocks of ball bearings

But...what if they can be tamed and used against our true enemies?

>itt: foreigners shit on a bird that is aggressive for weeks of the entire year during their mating season

They are bros all over times of year

they're bros against those fucking shithead miner birds. Those little shits are going nuts at the moment

Australian Magpies are not corvids.

We only have Ravens in australia.

Peewee's are the ones I hate, the dumbfucks fly into my gym room and shit all over my bench.

I just ... How did the other Anglo countries get so cucked?

When I lived in Perth I didn't believe that they would swoop, how wrong I was. Going to the dan murphy's I'd get swooped, once I even punched one of the fuckers as it was comin' right for me.

Later my wife told me they're a protected bird or some shit like that. That particular bird didn't swoop me again, but a few others did.

Where I lived in the rural part of WA you're allowed to own a rifle or shotgun for pest control. Pistols need to be kept at a gun club or some stupid shit and you need to compete as well in order to keep the permit valid.

all in all the gunlaws are shit

>tfw two large families of magpies that i feed every day living in the trees just outside my yard
>tfw never been swooped once, despite them swooping the kids from up the road every other day