I have to get this off my chest, so I'll share it with you Cred Forums. I pre typed it so it should not take too long...

I have to get this off my chest, so I'll share it with you Cred Forums. I pre typed it so it should not take too long, about 5 minutes.

Here it goes

My story begins as you might expect. I wasn't the hottest kid. I was vaguely chubby (not fat, but I could stand to lose 20 pounds) with a stupid face. I was also a bit of a brooding emo loner, so I wasn't exactly a popular guy. I wasn't a virgin - not technically - you see, I had an older brother who liked to rail my ass and make me suck his balls and swallow his jizz. He was sent away and sentenced as an adult when I was 12.
When he got out he got heavily into drugs and moved in with a 60 year old moldovean and died of a drug overdose, but that's not really related.
You know, people always say that if you were sexually abused as a boy you grow up to be a faggot. In reality, it was the opposite. I had a lot of misplaced anger for gays and trannies, something I still struggle with to this day. And I certainly didn't find men even remotely sexually appealing, nor did I enjoy being in sexual scenarios where I was submissive. In essence, no, I didn't become a fag or a trap (not that there's a difference).
We moved after the debacle with my brother, because my parents didn't want me to deal with the stress of all my peers knowing. They were good people, my parents. My dad was a hardworking guy and my mom was a redneck with bigger balls and a bigger mustache.

When I first started highschool, I was friendless. It was a small town. Everybody had already made friends. It didn't help that I felt really uncomfortable and unable to relate to people.
Luckily in my first class, I ended up sitting next to a boy named Jack (I don't want him doxxed, so we'll call him Jack), who would later go to jail for molesting an unconscious girl at a frat party. You know that feeling when your sibling does something really shitty, and you know they deserve the ridicule they get but you still stand up for them because seeing people talk shit about them breaks your heart? That's how I felt with Jake. He wasn't an evil guy.... He was just lonely, on drugs, and too horny. Sex-fueled loneliness can drive a man crazy. I firmly believe there should be therapy for loneliness, and that therapy should involve a hooker session as part of the treatment.
Jake make a comment about how our homeroom teacher looked like a frog. It had me in stitches back then, even if now the wording of his joke escapes me.
I remember I agreed with him and in that moment, a friendship was born.

Jake was no saint. In fact, he was kind of an obnoxious prick. But he was a loyal friend, and I cherished every day I spent with him.
That first day of school isn't just burned in my memory for that reason though. It was also the first time I ever saw her. Elisa Milicent Sinclair (her name is changed too).

I didn't see her during my lunch. But I did see her in my last period class. I was sitting near the back, alone, not paying attention, when I heard a murmur coming from the room. I looked up, following the whispers and stares, and saw the most peculiar creature I had ever seen.
For a brief moment, I wasn't even sure if she was a person. I studied her with immense curiosity, like a cat being introduced to the new baby. She was short, with pale-blonde hair styled in ringlets, rosy red cheeks, and porcelain skin. Her hands were white as snow, and she seemed so delicate. And despite it being a relatively warm September, Elisa wore a pink lolita dress, complete with a cute hat.
I didn't understand why, but the other kids found her extremely creepy.

The girls especially didn't like her - I later learned they just thought she was snobby and an attention whore, and that's why they picked on her.
I remember gawking at her shamelessly as she found her seat, near the front row. She respectfully took off her hat, and waited for the teacher.
>What a strange girl.
That's what I thought to myself, woefully ignorant of my own quirks. Woefully ignorant of a lot of things.
Truth be told, I didn't talk to her on that first day. Or that first week. But every time I saw her, even if it was just in passing, I stared. She wore all manner of lolita dresses, in a wide variety of colors, and messed her hair up in all kinds of styles. She was the type of girl who made sure no two days were the same. I was the type of guy who took comfort in routine.
My routine was simple. Wake up, eat, hang out with Jake, go to class, eat lunch, go to class again, stare at Elisa, go home and play N64 games, and do homework and chores, have my evening shit, and go to sleep.
It was a month into school that I began to notice that the girls were picking on Elisa. They made rude comments and talked shit about her loudly as she walked by. They wrote things on her desk. They ignored her when she spoke and were flat out cruel to her with their words.

Maybe you shouldn't have liked it, maybe you should have closed your legs faggot

As much as I would love to tell you their bullying never got to her, the truth was that it did.
One girl, as halloween was coming up, came up to her and cornered her at her desk, and loudly said "So on halloween are you going to dress up as a normal girl instead of a creepy doll?"
I could see the look on Elisa's face then. While the bullying always seemed mean to me, that was the first time it had hit me that what they were doing wasn't just fun and games. She looked down at her feet as the girl belligerently pushed her for an answer, and finally when she whispered "an angel" the girl said "wow that's a really stupid costume," and walked away.
People laughed. I didn't. Elisa didn't. She just gathered her bags and walked out of class, and I thought to myself in that moment, "an angel costume would look pretty cute on her."
I wish I went after her. I wish I told her I thought that. I wish I told her how beautiful she always looked in her dresses and how cute her rosy cheeks were. I wish I told her how cool I thought it was that she woke up every morning and did her hair and makeup perfectly. But I didn't. I was just like everyone else. I forgot about it and moved on.
Elisa didn't forget though. Halloween rolled around, and she didn't dress up as an angel. She just wore one of her normal dresses.
That day a girl said to her "Nice freak costume! Oh wait, that's just how you dress every day, my bad!"

Even after that, I still did nothing. I honestly didn't even think about it too much.
My friendship with Jake was slowly paying off, and through him I made a couple of other friends. Jake got a girlfriend - a cute polish chubster with huge knockers.
I remember Jake showed us a pic of her tits on MSN Messenger and we thought he was the coolest guy on the entire planet.
The first time I ever spoke to Elisa came after that. I'll never forget it.
It was after school, and I had a library book to return. I wanted to get in and out as quickly as humanly possible.
It's not that I disliked reading, or that I particularly hated libraries. I was just in a rush to get home. Back to my games. Back to my routine.
Routines were comfortable. When I followed the routine, nothing happened. Wake up 2 3 eat cereal 2 3 go to school 2 3 go home 2 3 eat dinner 2 3 play games 2 3 take a shit 2 3 go to bed 2 3 and repeat.
When I broke routine, I ended up with a sweaty cock in my ass or stinking jizz on my face.
My routine broke that day though.
I saw Elisa in the library. She was doing the opposite of what I was doing. I was returning a book, she was searching for one to take out.

I saw her looking around the aisles, confused, scanning row by row. The dewey decimal system apparently eluded her strawberry-scented head.
Oh yes, I remember the smell of her conditioner or shampoo or whatever the fuck very well. I remember the scent of her perfume, I can smell it even now, as if she were right in front of me.
I approached her, my curiosity stirred. Something about her cute, slightly frustrated expression piqued my interest.
So I approached her.
I did something completely out of character for me. I walked up to this strange doll-like fragile looking peculiar creature, and I said one simple word, a word that probably changed my life forever.
I said "Hey."
That probably doesn't mean a lot to you. But you have to understand, I wasn't one who took comfort in talking to people. I was a passive teen who didn't like approaching strangers. I was someone who took comfort in routine and the familiar. To talk to a stranger, even a classmate, was rare. To this day, I like to think that somehow, we had a connection in that moment, somehow something not of this world decided to link us together. Maybe it was God's plan. Maybe some elderitch being thought it would be fun to watch. Or maybe it was just fate or chance.
But I said hello to Elisa.

She looked back at me with a queer expression, as if I was an alien. She was probably bracing herself for another barrage of verbal abuse, but I simply asked her if she was looking for something.
She explained she couldn't find a book she needed for her other class. We looked around together, though the name of the book escapes my memory today.
So I offhanded mentioned that there would likely be a copy at the town library.
Again, another destiny-altering sentence from my lips.
And then she looked me right in the eyes, and said "where's the library?"
I explained to her where it was, and her nose wrinkled. I knew I was getting nowhere. As it turned out, Elisa was absolutely hopeless when it came to directions. She couldn't read a map, she wouldn't even be able to manage a bus schedule, let alone crappy directions given by a 14 year old.
So after a frustrating 10 minutes, I threw my hands up and said "Forget it, I'll just take you there myself!"
So I did. That day she was wearing a black and white dress, with a bonnet if memory serves. I remember feeling really awkward walking beside her. People stared at her as we walked and I became somewhat scared and embarrassed being seen with her. She was the uncool girl, after all.
But when she started talking, suddenly it wasn't so bad. She had a cute sing-song voice, and she asked me about the book I was returning. I told her I liked to read but that book in particular was boring.
We talked about books and found we shared a common interest in both books and video games.

shall not deign to read any of this

You guys have to understand that a girl playing video games in 2016 is normal. A girl playing video games in the n64 era was fucking weird. Girls didn't play games. Boys did.
So I was delighted to have someone to share my love of gaming with. We talked animatedly, and I found myself very comfortable around her when she spoke
I suppose in hindsight, it was partially because I felt that, with the world's attention on her, I was comfortably invisible. It's like taking a pee while someone is taking a loud, obnoxious shit. You don't experience bladder shyness because you know nobody knows you exist with the fucking windbreaker in the room.
But, I digress.
We reached the library, and I helped her find her book. Nothing too exciting happened there, but when she finally checked it out, she gave me the most beautiful and genuine smile I had ever seen. It was the kind of smile a mother gives her newborn baby. The kind of smile a homeless person gives when you hand them $1000. The kind of smile a father shows the doctor when he says "we did it, your son is gonna be ok".
She looked at me like I was the best fucking thing on the planet, and it make me really happy. It never occurred to me why at that moment, but the truth of the matter was that Elisa simply wasn't used to being treated like a human being.

The next morning, she thanked me again for helping her, and asked me my name. We exchanged names properly, as we had been technically unintroduced up until that point, and she went on her way.
Jake and my other friends appeared, and they grilled me about what Doll Girl wanted, and they talked about how weird and creepy she was and how they thought she was ugly and annoying.
I wish I could say I stood up for her. That I told them to fuck off and that I said how beautiful I thought she was.
But I was weak and desperate to fit in.
So...
I bowed my head and I agreed. "Yeah, she's so annoying."
I remember seeing her walk into class, and turn her whole body towards me to smile and wave at me.
I remember feeling like the worst piece of shit in the world when I looked away and didn't wave back.
She was the uncool girl. If I hung around her, they'd target me too. I'd lose my friends.
God I was such an idiot.

Only on tuesdays

I know how you feel bro i was molested by my brothers friend.Every time we played football he would make me mastrubate his dick until he asked me to suck it.I just felt something wrong and refused to do it any more.No body knows about this exempt me and him.Because of that i have a deep hate for fags now and it just fucked me up and made me obsessed about video games and i missed out on a lot of shit when i was a kid + i got fatter then i ever was and every one made fun of me.But today i try to improve as much as possible,i stared training and losing weight,hanging out with friends and just trying to improve my self.All i can say is occupy your self shit so you don't think about your past.

Tldr

Tldr she was a trap

I suppose in hindsight, it was partially because I felt that, with the world's attention on her, I was comfortably invisible. It's like taking a pee while someone is taking a loud, obnoxious shit. You don't experience bladder shyness because you know nobody knows you exist with the fucking windbreaker in the room.
Spring break began, and I got up to all kinds of shenanigans with Jake. I had a blast with him. He called his girlfriend one night and we all made fun of her and called her mean names, then he broke up with her. I remember we laughed for hours about it, but thinking back I wish I could tell him "Hey man, that wasn't cool. I know you didn't love her anymore but she's still a person."
I wish I was mature enough to regret hurting that poor girl.
On one of the last days, I went for a walk to the store to buy some junk food. As I was passing through the park, I saw a familiar face.
Decked out in a frilly pink dress complete with a cute umbrella, the pretty Elisa sat in the shade of a large tree reading a book.
I approached her and said hello, and asked if I could sit with her.
We talked like old friends. I completely forgot about the store as we both chatted on for hours. Finally, I felt my stomach growl, and I turned to her.
"Are you hungry?" I asked.
She nodded shyly.
"Want to get McDonalds?"
She said she didn't have any money, so I offered to treat her.

Dubs of choice confirmed.
>>Cred Forums

We walked together, and when we went into the McDonalds it was kind of dead. We got our food quickly and sat down to eat, and that's when I asked her about her dresses, inquiring why she wore them all the time.
She explained to me how lolita fashion worked, and how making clothes was her hobby. She said half of her dresses were homemade and the other half were bought from specialty stores. She explained the make up to me, and I genuinely found it interesting.
But then some girls from our school came in, and my heart sank as I saw them pointing and snickering.
The cruel embarrassment returned. I made up an excuse to leave as quickly as possible, and out I went.
And when school returned, I went back to ignoring her. I always justified myself in my own mind. But I knew what I was doing was awful.
I remember there was a change in her after that. She never really seemed to be a happy person before, but all of the sudden, she missed a few days at school and when she returned she seemed straight up depressed.
I felt bad for her.
One day, nearing the end of the year, she went to get food from the cafeteria. She never did that. I later found out she seldom ate more than one meal a day, so looking back she probably didn't eat the night before.
As she was walking out, one of the girls made a big show of purposely pushing Elisa's tray into her. She just stood there. Jake sat beside me and he was howling with laughter, but I slapped his arm and told him to stop.
He looked at me, and I looked at him.

Don't stop...

Sage all fields

"Don't," I told him. "It's not funny."
Elisa's dress was ruined. She dropped her tray, and looked down at herself. And she just calmly walked away. But I knew, by the quiver in her shoulders, that she was not calm.
Something came over me.
"This isn't right," I said.
Jake said "It's just the doll girl dude." But I told him the truth. Elisa wasn't a bad person. She was a nice girl and that girl was being a huge bitch.
Jake nodded. He was a lot of things, but he was a loyal friend. "Yeah man, those girls are bitches."
I told him I was going to check on Elisa, and he gave me this serious nod. He understood. Underneath his asshole exterior, he knew. He got it. Sometimes I think he was envious in that moment - jealous that I was "brave" enough to follow what my heart was telling me. But other times I think maybe he thought I was being an idiot.
But that didn't matter. I followed Elisa, just in time to see her go into the girls bathroom. I waited outside, looking like a pervert, for a good 10 minutes, but just as I gave up and began to walk away, she slipped out, and wandered down the hall.
I followed her to the stairwell by the football hallway - it was near unused during school.
She was sitting under the stairs, hugging her knees and crying.
I walked over to her and asked her if I could sit with her.

She immediately wiped her eyes and tried to show a brave face.
"Wow," I said. "That girl was a real bitch. I can't believe she did that. Is your dress going to be ok?"
I already knew it wasn't before she shook her head no.
"I'm sorry" I told her. I asked if she made it herself, and she did. She said it was her newest one, and her grandmother was so proud of her and really loved it. I felt terrible.
And I finally said it. I told her that I thought the other girls were being idiots, and I told her that I thought her dresses were beautiful.
Finally a small smile stole across her face.
"Really?" She asked pathetically.
I nodded. I pointed to her dress and I asked if there was any way she could make another one. She sniffled and said "maybe."
I asked her if she wanted me to help her and her face lit up. And she said yes with such unhindered excitement, and sensing it was appropriate, I gave her a hug. I remember how tightly she clinged to me. I remember how she smelled. I remember how surprisingly large her breasts felt pressing against my shirt.

This thread is shit.

Give me some required Cred Forums reading material.

Not your personal blog
SAVAGE

She gave me her address and asked me a hundred times if I'd be able to find the place.
I won't lie, embarrassment set in and I was very close to just not showing up. You see, she went home after lunch to change.
Jake reminded me I didn't have to go. He said "she's crazy man" "She's weird." But I went anyways.
It was an old house, not in the best shape, and kind of small. When I rang the bell, I heard the sound of someone running like their life depended on it, and she threw open the door with a great big smile on her face.
"user!!" She shouted. "I was worried you might have gotten lost! Come in!"
She was excitedly talking a mile a minute, offering me 1000 different things, but I wasn't paying attention.
You see, Elisa wasn't wearing one of her dresses. She was wearing pajama pants and a thin shirt, with her surprisingly long hair tied in a lazy ponytail.
I have to admit, she was fucking hot under all that lolita gear. She had big boobs, a nice round ass, and she was pretty thin. When I saw a picture on the wall, I understood where she got it from. Her mother, from the pictures, was as fucking sexy at 40 as the hottest 19 year old porn stars on earth.
And those boobs man. If she turned too fast she'd kill a man.

Dude no why didn't you love this girl.. You coulda had a real friend

Elisa once told me the women in her family all suffered from chronic back pain. It didn't surprise me one bit. Gravity is a cruel bitch after all.
She gave me fancy tea and freshly made cookies that she baked just for me, and I met her sweet little old grandmother.
Granny Sinclair was an old woman in body alone. She jumped up from her couch with surprising speed and greeted me with a warm hug, telling me it's so nice to finally meet me.

...

She went on a long rant about how Elisa always talked about me and how she was so happy and relieved that Elisa was finally able to make a friend, and I remembered feeling absolutely disgusted with myself as this kind old woman graciously showered me in adoration just for talking to her granddaughter like 3 or 4 times.
I wish I could say I was a big help with the dress, but I contributed nothing but moral support. Still, Elisa seemed content to do it herself, and her grandmother was very happy, shamelessly shipping us, suggestively saying she'd give us plenty of "alone time".
You know you're golden when granny gives you permission to bang the girl.
If you're wondering, no, I didn't. But we did talk a lot, and we became official friends.
I still brushed her off at school, but after schools, I sometimes went over to her house and we talked and played video games and took pictures (she was starting to get into photography).
The guys all made fun of me, even Jake ragged on me a little, but he was more playful in his banter.
I look back on the way he was and I realize now that he was playing a role that he thought other people wanted from him. He wasn't an asshole because he particularly enjoyed it. He was an asshole because that's the kind of people he grew up with, and I think he was deathly afraid of being an outcast. In that respect, he and I were kindred spirits.

Despite my efforts to keep my friendship with Elisa on the down-low, people started to make comments at my expense here and there.
It was around that time that I started getting into sports, particularly basketball. I would play after school with the guys, and Elisa made a habit of watching from afar. I think she realized my friends gave me shit for her and she wanted to try and make it easier on me.
I found it so sweet. I really did.
After we played, I would go to Elisa's house, sweaty and gross, and we would happily spend hours together.
I often ate dinner at her place. That became my new routine.
Summer came, and I began to lose weight and shape up from playing sports. I wasn't a real looker, but my body went from meh to "actually pretty decent".
With summer, my relationship deepened with both Jake and Elisa. Jake got a new girlfriend that summer, and he and I talked a lot about women as a result.

tl;dr
Go be a blog somewhere else

One night, I asked him why he asked Carly out. He went off about her ass and all that and I sighed and said "ok, but seriously now, why did you ask her out?"
He sighed and he dropped the act and said "because she makes me happy and I love her."
I thought a lot about girls that summer.
I saw Elisa more and more, but didn't really think of her as a woman, and by that I mean I didn't really think of her as someone I could date. I didn't know where she sat in my heart, only that the place I did have for her was warm and beautiful.
Her birthday was in July. I found out two days before when her grandmother mentioned it offhand. I racked my brain thinking of what to give her, and eventually I decided on getting her some extra supplies for dress-making.
I knocked on her door early in the morning, and asked if she wanted to go to the park, and before we left, I handed her the gift. I wasn't smooth about it. I didn't even wrap it, because I'm a fucking tool. She didn't care though.
She smiled, tears in her eyes, and hugged me tightly. She meticulously sorted my gift in with the rest of her supplies, proclaiming to her grandmother how happy she was.
Granny Sinclair looked at me like "nice job kid".
We went out and walked around and got lunch together and sat down beneath a mighty tree in the afternoon.

omg dude you fucked this up didn't you please don't finish the story just give me a happy ending