Major Happening Incoming

According to chatter from reliable sources here in Israel, there is going to be a major happening later this week.

I don't want to arouse suspicion or get in trouble, so I will only post what I feel comfortable divulging.

If what I'm hearing is true, there is going to be a major financial upset in the markets that will result in a certain country taking a lot of territory from its neighbor. Not only that, but migration patterns will drastically change, and will cause certain countries to look very different in the near future.

There are going to be many challenges that the world must soon overcome. If what I'm hearing is true - and my sources are very reliable - then you should start stocking up on goods like Sodastream, OTC medication from generic manufacturers like Teva Pharmaceuticals, and perhaps download the app "Waze" to help you navigate through the ensuing traffic.

I would also recommend stocking up on firearms in countries in which they are legal, specifically Tavors and Uzis.

Also, you're going to want to stock up on dried food that can stay fresh for months. I would recommend a peanut butter-flavored snack called Bamba. It's cheap, keeps for months, and tastes great.

Stay safe, everyone!

Sure; I'll stock up... How much months worth?

As ever Australia will pretend to care knowing full well nothing short of ww3 will genuinely bother us and we will continue to give lip service to our "aillies" and chyna so they keep thinking we will/wont support them in a conflict we do not care about.

I would also take note jews are not liked here, by anyone. You are also all conveniently located in Jew "hives" in the east of Sydney etc. Easy to locate easy to round up and kill.

what am I reading?

roleplaying proxy faggot

I've been hearing similar chatter, so I just wanted to add that Sabra hummus is a very good thing to stock up on if you want a healthy snack that the whole family can enjoy.

Dirty juice psy ops

>alway be weary of da eternal noooooze

>my sources are very reliable
>If what I'm hearing is true

I'm not a proxy - this is real.

And why should we believe a couple of Jews are really trying to look out for us?

Do they have twinkles in Israel?

All that to try and drive sales of some Jewish crackers.

...

the globalist jews are trying to jew the israeli jews

I've seen this picture earlier today.
You're caught op.. I browse this site 24/7

you're not the same israel poster, and to play along, give evidence of this "happening"

You yids are full of shit.

As many months as you can afford, since you never know how long these happenings last.

Make sure you look for the brands me and the other Israeli user listed.

Why do people ever believe these threads?

>recommending brand name products

FUCK

OFF

SHILL

just fucking tell us schlomo, who is going to acquire territory? at least say if its middle east or outside of middle east (and if its shitty africa, we dont care)

So; you're going to poison those goods?

>March 10th

Nice try kike

My sources at base are hearing the same my friends. It's h time to finish your preparations and get your family together in one place. It's going to be a hell of a ride. It will all be worth it for the greater Israel though and the world will enjoy a thousand years of peace after 2020.

Oh look another fake Israel habbending thread

kike shilling for his bio tech stock

1 sage deposited.

can i trust this kike?

That was me earlier. Also, OP and I are probably referring to the same chatter, so I trust his authenticity and you should too.

Don't forget the Sabra hummus and the other goods OP mentioned.

Oh and remember to stock up on pot noodles and iodine!

Nice shitpost, Shlomo

Recommending Israeli name brand products!!!

>There are going to be many challenges that the world must soon overcome. If what I'm hearing is true - and my sources are very reliable - then you should start stocking up on goods like Sodastream, OTC medication from generic manufacturers like Teva Pharmaceuticals, and perhaps download the app "Waze" to help you navigate through the ensuing traffic.
>I would also recommend stocking up on firearms in countries in which they are legal, specifically Tavors and Uzis.

all jewish shit that we already boycott

> BUY FIREARMS ESPECIALLY TAVORS AND UZIS

God damn, kikes really do waste no opportunity to make a shekel.

Thanks merchant. You're always looking out for me.

>Sodastream
>Teva Pharmaceuticals
>Tavors and Uzis
>Bamba

There's a happening goyim, make sure you stock up on all these jewish products

sage this retarded bullshit.

>ive got such secret sources i cant even name something as broad and as basic as which country, because somehow naming a country will identify me personally

fuck off faggot, stock up on your matzah

>please buy my shit
Oh you funny guy you.

>stock up on israeli products
Seems legit merchant

This all sounds very suspicious to me mate.

stock up on zyklon b

Not realizing only in America are we so retarded we do month day year.....

Thank you merchant! I will spend frivolously on these items.

kek

>recommends tavors and uzis
>both are commonly manufactured by Israelis
>name drops products to buy
>all products are related to israeli shit

Get out of my face goy

>Something happening
>Ever

jewish lies.

you fucking retard clrearly says its october

Here's a
>(you)
Are you happy Schlomo?

Think about your shekels now.

March 10, 2016 that pic is 7 months old

Jews gunna Jew

Mexico here make sure to invest milion dolare in donky show

donky happen soon prepare ok

t. juan rodriguez rodriguez screensnap me this

Stocking up on peanut butter is your best bet because it's healthy and your dog can lick it off your balls when there's no more internet porno during WW3.

>make sure you goys stock up on israeli weaponry and other products for The Happening!

Genuinely funny thread OP, I kek'd.

Ill take my business to the Amish, they have better quality goods.

>that will result in a certain country taking a lot of territory from its neighbor.
But we already took all we needed

Only burgers read month/day/year because you are retarded.

The jewest jew outjewing jewness. Dont burn your skin rubbing hands.

***ATTENTION GOYIM***

I am hearing additional chatter that suggests a situation in which you will want to have a lot of a fruit called an etrog. I can't divulge why at the moment, so you'll have to trust me. Buy a lot of etrogs.

lmfao well memed herschel

Recommend me good kike wines pls.
Whites preferred.

Yes we must support our greatest ally

So it was all a joke!
Fuck you, merchant, I have spent all my saving on buckwheat and tushonka

>If what I'm hearing is true, there is going to be a major financial upset in the markets that will result in a certain country taking a lot of territory from its neighbor

everything that ever happens always results in a (((certain country))) taking a lot of territory from its neighbor

Buy Barkan and frankly anything with Hebrew written on it.

nonsense you forgot finland, the baltics and ukraine :^)

nice passport but we want to see your Mossad ID

>posting on Rosh Hashana
Just move to Berlin already

is this about the India&Pakistan shyte?

Is Russia finally going to invade Ukraine?

I have it on good authority (trust me on this, I can't divulge right now) that there will be a major financial crash.

Since Maple Syrup is one of the densest, longest-lasting, and most calorie-rich syrups, you had better stock up on as much Maple Syrup and Maple Fudge as you can buy.

***IMPORTANT NEW INFO***

This is supposed to remain a secret, but I genuinely want to see you all succeed. Don't let this leave Cred Forums:

Buy a lot of stock in a company called SpaceCom. You will not be disappointed.

I've actually been looking for some of these. Impossible to find around here tho

mfw the burgers annex us and Turdeau gets deported to mars.

just tell me what's going to happen

[spoiler]It's all a joke where kike anons are shilling Israeli products.[/spoiler]

Nice try shlomo but pol taught me not to trust jews :^)

I would if I could, but there is simply too much on the line. You'll find out soon enough.

However, you don't have much time to prepare. I highly recommend purchasing the brands mentioned in this thread.

>have Israeli IP
>buy stocks in company
>"Oh no goy looks like it's another sho... happening! Better buy this stock!"
>rub hands together

Am I doing it right?

it's a joke you fuck

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt

Gave me a giggle nice

I'll admit, Israelis have good bants

Yeah, as if I'd buy stocks in a company famous for having exploding satellites.

Any other jewish goods we should stock up on?

These brands don't exist in Brazil as far as I know.
Why you israelis no sell to brazil?
i wanna get jew'd

You have the original?

BUY SWHC STOCK FAST

>goods like Sodastream

THESE COLORS DONT RUN CHAIM

Clever advertising Schlomo

Yes, buy a dreidel and chocolate coins for your children. Children love opening the golden wrappers off the chocolate shekels that they wager when they spin every child's favorite toy.

Make sure you don't buy the dreidels made in China.

My sources say that I will go to Latvia in Wednesday and return in Sunday. Sources are certain that I will get massage, sauna and drunk.

Schlomo, how many copies of the Talmud do I need?!!

>israeli products
nice try shill

Buy at least the entire volumes of both the Jerusalem and Babylon Talmuds. Don't forget the entire volumes of the Mishnah, Gemara, and JPS Tanakh as well.

>goyim buy up all the etrogs
>you don't have any left when Sukkot begins on October 16th
>Yahweh is angered and sends his angel to purge Israel with a flaming sword
brb buying etrogs

Nothing will happen. Stupid fucking jew

this thread motivated me to find an etrog online

just ordered

>Tavors and Uzis
Bruh if you want to get technical it would be anything nato.

Will this protect me on judgement day like respected Chrisitian Zionist John Hagee says it will? If so I will pay anything!!

(you)...

Lemme guess.
You're investing in all of these companies, right?
Classic Jew.

>Teva

Thanks Greatest ally!

i was right its dbk and its tonight, gopher user was right.

can i have money so i dont die please master

It will only protect you if you buy them from an online merchant certified by a respected Jewish consumer advocate. You are clearly very intelligent and will surely survive the happening.

reminder that low tier happeningfag threads like this one are /x/ shit that doesn't belong here
>my dad works at Nintendo that's how I know guize

a skype message feed

>american education

Oh G-d bless you! I'm donating my life savings to the JIDF right now... after all money won't matter when Jesus raptures me.

>Bamba

Good stuff

>Sodastream

My sides

underrated and unexpected bantz from Sweden

finally, some quality Israeli shitposting, and not just mid-tier bantz and jewgirl titties

It's kind of difficult for someone like me whom is a Canadian to feel convinced to prepare myself.

Could you enlighten us which continents this will affect for the very least?

16 10 16

Why do you want to help ous goys out?

Because we're your greatest allies,goy

It will affect all continents.

Every person is made in His image, even goyim.

Which gas masks should I buy, my fellow mensch?

See if the IDF has any surplus gas masks. They may sell them to you if you make a reasonable offer.

What did he mean by this?

STOP SHOWING YOUR JOO LEVELS! YOU ARE SCARING THE GOYIM

Friendly merchant, do these goods need to be new? What about my current supply of TeVa pharmaceuticals and Sabras dip?

Let me guess...you manufacture Bamba?

/thread

Pack it up, lads.

Fuck off Ashes

Saudi Arabia gonna invade Jerusalem and double kike them, turning themselves into the new uncritique-able jews; freeing themselves of any 9/11 lawsuit. It's genius.


1948D kikery

Everything must be new. You do want to survive, don't you?

You don't want to be unprepared. Go buy new items, but only the brands listed in this thread.

Product placement shitposting is a new one to me, Schlomo

>Believing in the speculating Jew

Good god Cred Forums you're better than this

Are you saying that Israel is going to annex Syria or Palestine?

Sabra is fucking good. Boars head is better though

Only an uncultured goy would choose Boar's Head over Sabra.

Glad to see someone else recognised the troll

10/10 OP at least trolling still exists in todays world of "m-muh trolls are people that say mean things on social media! ban them! banthembanthembanthem!"

China has millions of soldiers, are you really not worried?

>major financial upset in the markets that will result in a certain country taking a lot of territory from its neighbor

because the army of faggots currently pushing stock up and down, can go outside and gain clay...

Markets will crash, was a tested method to get a nigger elected in US and probably will work again to propel yet a another globalist commie into power (hint: she's a cunt)

>that will result in a certain country taking a lot of territory from its neighbor
Hungary taking territory from Romania, let's hope. Otherwise I don't see countries taking new territory in the next century.

this is the hardest i've laughed since i've been on Cred Forums all day.

not because of what you said, but because you're a leaf that said what you said

lol @ u i mean just lol

...
10/10. thanks for the chuckle, greatest ally.

T. Owner of Bamba trying to save his failing company

>Sabra

youre eating potassium sorbate a preservative its toxic never eat that trash

just make your own hummus in infinite quantities its chick peas garlic olive oil and optional tahini
in a blender or food processor

chick peas cost nothing

but instead youre paying 3$ for a tiny round of hummus with toxic preservatives in it that tastes worse than freshly made

lose-lose-lose

DELETE THIS.

it shows real initiative. this merchant is willing to scour the far reaches and dark corners of the internet so his employees can continue to make a living. his selfless devotion to others and his willingness to sacrifice have been an inspiration to me.

thank you, based merchant!

This constitutes libel. You will be hearing from my lawyer soon.

>tavors and uzis
Opinion discarded and happening canceled.
Try shilling again next time.

>truth = libel

topgreg

lol...Janos, stop dreaming...20% of your population are gypsies who hate you... stay calm or we will make that border to Tisza as it should be.

>Sodastream
>Teva Pharmaceuticals
>Waze
>Tavors
>Uzis

>tfw (((OP))) idea of RP'ing is to be a real honest to g-d shill.

We are greg now

>a certain country taking a lot of territory from its neighbor.
Texas is finally eating Mexico?

You took bait that wasn't there, Pajeet. The territorial change I actually want to see is an American all-out invasion all the way down to South America. But that won't happen. Within the next century I see absolutely no growth in countries, only shrinkage as rebels carve chunks out of existing countries.

no invasion
but in last 5 years has doubled the population speaking Spanish in america

omfg please be US invading Canada.

dude. I know you're a kike and all, but considering they just had a massive market debasement, I'm inclined to believe you. Are they going to be huge themselves, or bought out by a larger company?

> SpaceCom has ties with (((Zuckerberg)))

You have a weird way to express your hopes. You cannot invade South America because your young are either commies, or pot smokers, or niggers.. or a combination of all.

This is why you import LEGALLY many South Americans into the army , and give them citizenship.

So how about build that wall, stop using drugs and fucking stop training and arming tens of thousands of mudslimes every year. Mmmkay?

What's the minimum "dose" of finely crafted consumables I'll need as a strapping young basement dweller of 70 kilos?

Gr8 b8 m8

Thanks, based user.
#Kasthegikes

The week of 9/11 the Arabs near my local gas station said gas will go up the next week. Then 9/11 hit and gas went up. Arabs and oil is like Jews to business. And whites to entitlements and so on. Godspeed.

lmao

THIS SHLOMO IS FROM THE FUTURE DO NOT TRUST HIM
Also that's not a passport that's a migration permit thing. Like a temporary passport.

Yeah, like a jew would ever warn us.

...

i would also like to say that last night german atms went out for the entire day thanks to dbk, so maybe chaim is right that something bad is happening. Maybe we are preparing for war and will delay the election

Top bait

I am an insider in Gary Johnson's campaign currently on vacation in Gatineau. What's a Shlomo?

>names five Israeli companies

Top laff

I've long suspected that there was a growing rift between the elite globalist jews of europe (the jews). and the common Israeli jew.

Dem trips.

Also, Hopefully some reader understands that you explained the joke.

Back when Orkut was big, you'd be shocked at how many israeli white supremacists I met.

We have a standing order to stop all boats. They will all drown.

It's a silly proxypost where a "jew" is advising us about a happening to come, and that we need to stock up on israeli goods like Bamba

>Specifically Tavors and Uzis

You have to do a much better job of shilling your Israeli merchandise Shlomo. Maybe ask your marketing cousin Goldstein to help out next time.

Viral marketing for Bamba?

you should also buy lots of goldstar beer. the HAPPENING IS UPON US!

says the taig

When hard times and non-stop war strike, make sure you have plenty of Sodastream syrup in your reserves.

Where do I buy jewish goods? Do I just go to a synagogue and the rabbi opens up his coat and has a bunch of Jew stuff hanging on the inside?

>all these brand name "recommendations"
Jews gotta Jew

soldiers aren't really that much of a concern desu

australia would be a fucking shitshow to try and invade, we mostly need to worry about not being bombed to shit or nooked

Teva Completes Acquisition of Anda, Inc.

Acquisition Reinforces Teva's Strategy and Enhances Teva’s Offerings to More Patients throughout the U.S.

JERUSALEM--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Oct. 3, 2016-- Teva Pharmaceutical Industries Ltd. (NYSE and TASE: TEVA) today announced that it has completed its acquisition of Anda, Inc., a leading distributor of generic pharmaceuticals in the U.S., from Allergan plc.

“We are pleased that Anda, Inc., one of the leading distributors of generic medicines in the U.S., is now part of Teva. This acquisition reflects our continued view that attractive growth opportunities, both external and organic, exist for our business and for our extensive supply chain network in particular,” said Siggi Olafsson, President & CEO of Global Generic Medicines. “This acquisition enables us and our customers to provide more patients throughout the country with access to generic medicines."

Will you make money on this, stocking up on israeli products

Explanation: The economy is based on war now. your survival "just in case" bunker will help stimulate the economy. If you're gonna be paranoid, buy israeli.

May be he was talking of Australia taking over most of Kiwi land

>you should start stocking up on goods like Sodastream, OTC medication from generic manufacturers like Teva Pharmaceuticals, and perhaps download the app "Waze" to help you navigate through the ensuing traffic

>This triggers the jew

> this makes him start to get the joke

>that .png
So we've had at least two shills crack, and one of them joined us, sorrowful of his deeds.

Do we have any other converts/revealed?

>>Make sure you look for the brands me and the other Israeli user listed.

Good Goyim, buy muh food for Israel so I can make more shekels

>Tavors, Uzis
>Dried food maza and those shit jew crackers
>Telling people to stock up on jewish Items

>reliable Israeli sources

>Israeli flag
> financial crash coming
> buy Israeli stocks

whole hearted kek, jewshilling/10

where do i get one of those jars of 2013 vintage pickled foreskins?
i need to stock up on those too

Deutsch bank is going to fall. Financial institutions are bound to only invest in other financial institutions, so all the other banks in Germany and Europe are going to take a huge hit. They have other banks' debt insured through reinsurance financial institutions like AIG. When Deutsch bank cannot pay back its debt, the contagion will spread out of Europe to financial institutions in the USA.

We will see 2008 all over again.

However in Europe, they will be forced to relax monetary policy in order to encourage free spending and economic growth. This will lead to rampant inflation in the coming years while not solving the underlying problem that banks are now broke and extremely cautious, and will refuse to give out business loans and instead horde their cash.

Germany will double down on immigration due to the fetid whispering of jew rats running the banking system, bringing sand niggers in to fill in lower income jobs and further diluting white western democracy, the only real threat to the jews as they pulverize their area of the middle east.

This I foretell.

Haredi with the 4D satire game!

Interesting. I have an inside source, very reliable who tells me the french foreign legion is deploying all regiments to libya next year. You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you now mr kike?

Okay, I can see you're just shilling for Bamba.

Why would anyone believe what you're saying?
Happening denied.

11/keks

The joke was funny, guys. looks like we're trying to let this slide now.

solid laugh

>Tahini "optional"
it's not hummus without it, and don't forget the lemon juice...