Americans have guards that patrol the cinema with torches during the film

>Americans have guards that patrol the cinema with torches during the film

Somebody explain this madness please

to make sure people aren't gambling

He is there to shoot anyone that breaks the rules of the kinoplex

How do you gamble on a film?

because of niggers and BP

based on whether or not the designated shooter massacres your theatre

They are called flashlights and its to make sure no one has any contraband or is doing anything illegal.

Torches are for the ogres. Ogres hate fire.

People fuck and do drugs in theaters and sometimes they get shot up.

>mfw when I've got five barrels of imported contraband stored in the back corner

what do britbongs call actual torches?

That's a wall-sconce

fire sticks

European cinema patrols have long been extinct since the introduction of falcons. America has yet to realise

Fire-sticks

no way lmao

I've never seen ushers or anything like that at a movie theater. Never been to one that makes you pick a specific seat either.

Apparently they have those guys in the toilets that hand you the TP. And the tip is mandatory of course.

I was forcibly ejected from a cinema in LA once for not tipping the flashlight attendant.

Flaming torches.

We call them matches. And your matches are our matchlings

had something like this happen once.
the ushers oil lantern's wick had burnt to a stub so he asked on the intercom if anyone had a set of pliers with them. i always carry a set of pliers and when i began to pull them out of my back pocket i was tased

Burney muggle wands

You have no idea: it caused all sorts of problems during combined arms military operations.

>mfw Americans call a whirly-whirly liftingbopler a "helicopter"
>mfw they call a jimmy-jammy gookslotter an "M-16"
>mfw they call a pointy-toity bing bong fully automagicalidocious shoot machine an "M60"
>mfw Americans call icky-sticky fire jelly "Napalm"
>mfw Americans call a pointy rifle hat a "bayonet"
>mfw Americans call booming surprise from the skies "Air Support"
>mfw Americans call Sir Charles de Gookinghamshire, 2nd Marquess of Hanoi, "Charlie"
>mfw Americans call Fogerty's Ode to Self Denial "It Ain't Me"
>mfw Americans call a Thunderous Gookshredder a "Shotgun"
>mfw Americans call a pointy poopy foot shredder a "Punji trap"

the trumptards keep having anxiety attacks and shooting up random public places

kek

Most Americans don't.
The USA is a very big country. Things vary significantly from place to place.
I have never, ever seen one of these alleged people in any of the theaters I have been to.

It's the penis measurement patrol.

Erect or flaccid?

Brit here. We call em burney burney woody sticks

I think that would depend on the movie.

flashy dashy light shooter

Are all American cinemas as loud as people meme they are? The idea of people shouting, cheering and clapping just sound really cringy and rude.

I haven't seen this since i was a teenager and I'm 50. The theaters I attend have a button in the seat to summon the waiter. If I need another martini, I hit it.

>brits have guards that patrol the trains to prevent hurt feelings

and they will unironically defend this by saying things like 'it's for the celtic-rangers fans, you wouldn't understand' as if it's completely acceptable to put people in jail for fucking nothing

They're there to kick out any person going to the cinema alone

Looking for any possible singles that snuck in alone

American's like to think of it as a group activity. Cheering and that hypes people up. I can't even imagine how lifeless yuro theatres are.

They only exist in moderately shit neighborhoods... If there aren't ushers, and you're slowly being surrounded by a loud darkness... You might want to consider leaving.

Rest easy if the audience claps at any given time. You're surrounded by faggots, and the blacks are only there to fuck the wives of said faggots.

They are making sure nobody is recording the movie

we used to have these in the UK but they would left 5 minutes after the film started. now they don't give a fuck

I've only noticed these "guards" in places that attract lots of minorities. Take from that what you will. And yeah, it's distracting as hell for some retard with a glow stick to walk across the center aisle every 10 minutes. But according to the government and their manipulative statistics, the world is getting better. Just pay no attention to shit like this, pay no attention to stores having to lock up razors and baby food or have two security guards at the door.

They're there to make sure no one is breaking the No Singles Policy. If you're alone, you get sent to the Popcorn Mines and then you're forced to clean the showers.

>this meme again
nope. they're there to pull a penis inspection on every male before they exit after the move is over

>pull a penis inspection

I hope they wear gloves

It's because of the no singles policy. You must watch movies with friends, girlfriend, or family. I got kicked from Black Panther yesterday when someone noticed I was sitting by myself. They called the guards and escorted me out.