Kyle's Mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
she's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch,
she's a bitch to all the boys and girls.
IT'S THE BIG SHOW
HE AIN'T MY BOY BUT THE BROTHER IS HEAVY
HE AINT MY BOY BUT THE BROTHER IS HEAVY
GAVE AWAY MY POSSESIONS AND MOVED INTO A CHEVY
THE POOPSMITH HE COULD TALK (HEL-LO)
AND MARZIPAN COULD ROCK
AND THE STICK WOULD BE THIS BIG OL' TREE THAT WOULD EAT EVERYONE EXCEPT THE CHEAT AND ME (AND ME!)
AND THE KING OF TOWN WOULD BE UNDERGROUND IN A BOX FILLED UP WITH PEAS (I HATE PEAS!)
BUBS WOULD GIVE AWAY FLAMETHROWERS THAT WOULD SHOOT CHOCOLATE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS (IMITATION CHOCOLATE)
AND MY STUPID BABY BROTHER WOULD'VE BEEN BORN WITH HORNS AND A TAIL (I'M EVIL)
AND COACH Z WOULD WEAR HIS COOL JACKET (CHECK IT OUT Y'ALL)
AND HOMESTAR JUST COULDN'T HACK IT (I QUIT)
AND POM POM WOULDN'T CHANGE AT ALL EXCEPT HE'D LOOK LIKE AN ABA BASKETBALL
LISTEN HERE, WHILE I MAKE IT CLEAR
THE DEVIL WILL TAKE THEIR HEADS
VAN YEAH THAT'S THE MASTER PLAN
DRRRRRRIVE INTO THE WOODS AND EAT CORN OUT THE CAN
LYIN' LOOTIN' STEALIN'
ARE THE REASONS I'M A PIRATE
Exactly what I was thinking.
THE MIRROR NEVER LIES
AND THIS LITTLE WEIRDO
WOULD BE A MODESTLY HOT GIRL TO HELP ME THROUGH THE HARD TIMES
YOU KNOW THE KIND THAT ARE ONLY SORTA HOT SO THEY DON'T MESS AROUND WITH OTHER GU-U-Y-Y-YS
AaaaAaaaAaA, I'M FOREVER YOUR GIRL!
THE POOPSMITH, HE COULD TALK
DKC was my first vidya game
too young to figure out how to play, but got a sense of wonder from reading the strategy guide and looking at the artwork
finally drop my gamer balls and play for real
realize it's a god-tier platformer, and one of the best games I've ever played
play it over and over again, inevitably get too good at it
just blow my way through every level, all feeling of adventure is gone
when I die I don't think "Wow this level is tricky" I think "Goddamnit, I should have been able to make that"
Feels bad man.
BUT NOW IM COOKING PIES FOR SCIENCE
EINSTEIN WOULD BEAM WITH PRIDE
WHY, WHAT A FORTUITOUS STROKE OF LUCK
FOR YOU TO MEET THIS SAVVY CROC
WHOSE EVERY INTEREST CO-INTERSECTS WITH YOUR OWN
I CAN SIIIIIIINNNNGGG