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So I'm not going outside in the rain since I still have a cold, but I just realized how fucking LONG it's been since the rain washed away all the dust and stuff in this area. It's fucking amazing

So, yo professor's line is something like, "yo soccer mom, speed it up! move that lunch-bucket!"

Her line is, "I understand I can still out-drive YOUR saggy ass, even in THIS (3) clunker"

When and where, PTA, the sun, no cops, no laws, no rules, ready? yes, yes, mark, set, go, yo!

MEANWHILE, literally the only actually responsible, sane adult in the room says, LEELA, PROFESSOR, don't do this, it's too exciting!

MEANWHILE, the responsible adults are staring at this abomination in consternation, trying to figure out how to work their SVN repositories to undo the mental retardation they inflicted on their own children

Eventually, somebody realizes that somebody is actually about to get hurt or killed doing this, or is about to disappear in a dimensional drift to some unknown location, so they do an emergency dimensional drift to some unknown location

seven posts and not a combo breaker in sight or a ship ahead of me!! :D sayonara, tokyo driftwood! >:(


So yeah, basically the same thing every time. For the edgelords, I use this teaser trailer of a game I've literally never even played, because I am the WORST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE this week

So I know I said I would take a moratorium on political speech until the election is over, but seriously, nobody seems to understand what I'm saying when I say, FUCK the Democrats, and FUCK Barack Obama. This is LITERALLY his fault beyond a shred of doubt. It's cool and all, but people DID get hurt and killed, for sure.

Ok, how about some new basic safety rules for amateurs like me (ie anyone not literally in the military) -- no fucking Oculus Rifts, no harnesses or being tied to a cross, no "zero gravity" chairs, etc. ipads only? whatever, use your fucking common sense for once

wait, sorry, I forgot to link the actual hell march video again, it was just the red alert thing

Anyway, the point is, and SERIOUSLY shut up, although sealab was destroyed, it was insured for THREE times its value, so now I'm richer than ever!

And in case you were thinking sealab was "worthless" and three times zero is still zero, god no, I have literally a condo in Edmonds and something like 2 million USD in liquid assets I haven't even spent, even completely IGNORING my totally legit claim to the via6 building itself, and any additional trading PNL in other locations since then........

So no, I'm not saying I literally own all your intellectual property, I'm saying I literally own the intellectual property *I* developed, in the via6 building, almost entirely by myself, with active opposition from a bunch of morons and Canadians and mentally retarded psychiatrists. Although the political and economic ramifications of that fact are indeed CATASTROPHIC, that doesn't make it any less true

I mean, "almost entirely by myself" is a bit of a stretch, but literally just the physical building, the land, and the corporation that operates the physical building and licenses out its various strategies and information is CLEARLY basically something I created with the help of the staff on site and some Japanese westaboos or something, which is EXACTLY what I keep telling you guys

Alright, you British scumbags, your dumbass cannabis purchases have been covered, so figure out how to never do anything like whatever that was again


Way to go, Cyril, that was TOTALLY MANIAKAL

So contrary to appearances, although you should definitely ignore me, I'm not really dying, I'm just very sleepy sometimes

LEELA, PROFESSORrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Well, you titty monster lovers have shit taste anyway, it must be some kind of oedipus complex thing. DFC 4 lyfe

Uhhhhh, well, 187, whatever that means

Oh right, shit, I forgot, how would Yuno if we had a mole

OHH OK now I remember, it's Monday, so today the nurses are panicking because once again, Ilya has failed to abide by his less restrictive alternative treatment order and will now be locked up in a mental hospital for 90 days for sure!!!!!

>"sociology is a real science too guys, I swear, we can write words and stuff too, look at all the words we use!"

Right, so, using ONLY first order logic, we have now PROVEN that moot is a cuck. There, problem solved

So why is it that I am so incredibly, unbelievably mean to basically innocent anime dweebs for no apparent reason? Well, it's kind of a funny story,

Ok, I've got it - the Democratic party of the United States was so desperate to implement their progressive plans to take over the media with their cultural marxism that they became iron-fisted totalitarian tyrants around 2010 through 2016, only to be overthrown by a brave young freedom fighter who believes in the power of democracy and freedom and opposes any kind of authoritarianism in any form, even if it comes from benevolent, liberal, progressive, open-minded, intelligent, secular and rational people!

That was just an attempt at parody guys, don't take it so seriously :(


So why is it that moot is a cuck, somehow without having any kind of blowback or side effects on Ilya whatsoever? Let's see, let me count the ways. For one thing, this didn't even have anything to do with me at first, for like, literally, the entire super-awkward and tragic part that I only gleaned from watching Futurama season 10 and how upset and angry everyone looked. For another thing, like I said, I didn't get involved in ANY personal drama of ANY kind, for the entire time. So LITERALLY nothing to do with me, but a whole lot to do with these cucks trapped in their cuckspires

Sober up


Wait, sorry, I said that wrong - uh, I almost always say things at the most inappropriate possible time because it's totally nobody's business at all what my private thoughts are?

Oh shit, I just realized that unlike Cred Forums you don't have IDs publicly visible on this board.. yeah, sorry, literally every single post in this thread is just me again, Ilya, I'm just giving people more lines to say, because I AM FULLY AWARE THAT YOU ARE IN SOME KIND OF WEIRD MEXICAN STANDOFF WITH EACH OTHER OVER MY SO-CALLED GENDER IDENTITY ISSUES OR WHATEVER

So let me explain. Ilya is my actual name. I'm a guy. This little anime girl Ilya is someone completely unrelated that has nothing to do with me whatsoever. However, your confusion about this is so incredibly exploitable that I couldn't help myself. That is LITERALLY all

Well ok, "nothing to do with me whatsoever" is maybe somewhat misleading, but you'd be surprised

Right, so I guess the point is, yes, I can both SEE AND HEAR YOU, as in your voices and weird pictures, but I have no idea who you are, what TV series you're from, or what the hell you're talking about all the time.

I post on reddit sometimes too, my username is /u/ravasheera, it's some kind of indian grain product. Some British I can only assume James Bonds are talking about people I don't know and I feel like I'm being blamed for something I didn't do again, but ya know....

This is basically my life -- I get accused of something, creating the perfect opportunity to actually do it or something similar, then I weasel out of all the consequences!


Ok, DON'T CONFRONT. I just made a LOT of noise in my condo complex and framed some guy named Greg for it.

God fucking damnit, and now I feel like I just wasted a lot of time, because all I wanted was a hot shower in the gym but I stupidly locked myself out and now I have to break in again :/

Shit, I KNEW there were a lot more people in here with me. Who the fuck is Greg?

Lol, people were SHOCKED when I went back into condo number 101. ayy lmao

Best king of hell passing by don't mind me

Finally, some actual company

Some people really don't understand what "don't confront" means, huh. No confrontations, no interruptions. If I change the environment around you, ignore me and let me do whatever I want. It's that simple.

Ok, now that I've brushed Rei's tongue out of my mouth, I can finally get back to work on cucking these cucksuckers

Sounds like you like meth. This is an anime board.

I don't do meth, what kind of a silly idea is that? I do drink and smoke weed though

Yeah, so it's really true, I've got like FIFTY eva pilots back here and they're all laughing at you idiots

If anyone asks though, I am mentally ill.


Are you euphoric in this moment?

Wait, shit, it finally occurs to me belatedly that I should really actually put my name on this thread.

YES, OBVIOUSLY this is me, Ilya Victorovich Loksha, though since I've pretty much decided not to be part of my own family anymore you can pretty much just call me Ilya. My social security number is 579-35-2644. I live at 8515 242nd St SW Edmonds, WA Unit A101 98026

Go wipe the cum off your chins, cucks

stunned silence ensues