Hey Cred Forums, I bought this clock today, but I have no idea how to set an alarm. She just keeps giving me this look...

Hey Cred Forums, I bought this clock today, but I have no idea how to set an alarm. She just keeps giving me this look, making those "ara ara~" sounds and touching me with her feet.
I tried to RTFM, but there were just lots of ants doing weird shit with other ants.
Any tips?

You should strip the clock and see whether you can find any buttons to press. Often you'll have to look for holes and jam something inside in order to reset it or something.

Have you tried rubbing you dick on it? That always works with my stuff.

Yeah, there are some buttons, but when I push them, the clock just makes strange noises.
I found something that looks like a port, but I have no idea what connector is it for. When I tried to take a closer look it started to leak some liquid. Is that supposed to happen? I hope it's not a problem with water cooling.

Does it matter where I rub it?

Did I try the wrong hole? It seems my clock broke already

I recommend hitting it hard a few times, always seems to fix my electronics

>Does it matter where I rub it?
Nah dude, just rub it all over. It works. Make sure you take a shower first, unless you want your stuff smelling like dick.

Don't worry you should have no problem finding a replacement, these shitty clocks are mass produced

Umm, it's embarrassing, but I got stuck. It looks like I accidentally turned suction on. Who the hell thought it's a good idea to add a vacuum cleaner to a clock? What's next, a flintlock rifle?
Then I tried to do what said, but it only made it worse.

Oh, you don't need to set it up. It sets itself up. You should let it do that. You really should.

That's one weird ass clock man. Anybody else experiencing that shit?

>Umm, it's embarrassing, but I got stuck. It looks like I accidentally turned suction on
Nah, it's cool man, that's what supposed to happen. Now, what I need you to do is just start jamming it in. Go with the flow. Throw in a couple of right hooks as well. Punch as hard as you can, remember, punch through, not at.

Go on.

So it's one of these "smart" thingies that are all rage now?

I dunno, I don't want to break it. They're making stuff so delicate nowadays.

>I dunno, I don't want to break it. They're making stuff so delicate nowadays.
Idiot, it's the future now. Stuff is hard as hell. You think I'm gonna tell you something that wouldn't work? I'm trying to help you, man.

Now, punch through the clock. It's not like it's hammer, it the fist of an anime watching nerd, it'll be fine.

Well, I guess I can try once or twi- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I was not expecting that. You may have punched too hard.

You know, the thing about clock repair is that it's more of an art than a science, lots of grey area, not a lot of math and stuff.

You may have to punch a lot more things now.

Well you're probably fucked. Either sexually or physically.

Actually I'm quite alright.
I think they are self-configuring, because there's a lot of rubbing and button pushing going on.

Instructions were unclear, dick caught in clock

Well you're clearly doing something wrong.

Anyone knows where I can read the Date a Live volumes after Baka-Tsuki got down. I was thinking of returning reading

Relax, this sort of thing happens more often than you'd think. This type of clock has an automatic ll function so you will be stuck until you push the inner release switch. It's a pretty difficult button to reach but some people have had success by forcing in some liquid and using hydraulic pressure to toggle it.

Guys I fucked up badly.

I couldn't figure out how to set the time zone, and threw the clock down the stairs in frustration. It then broke and started leaking red liquid all over the place. Did I fuck up the cooling system? Is there someplace to repair it and replace the cooling liquid? Also how do you clean it out of the carpet?

Please help my mom will be home in an hour.

lol your fucked kiddo.

better hope you got loads of GBP saved up. mom is gonna fucking freak.

Please dude, I already spent my GBP on Legos and McDonalds. There has to be something that works. Baking soda, peroxide, anything?

Goddess Madoka.


Just move the minutes hand a few minutes before you threw it down the stairs, it should work

>There has to be something that works.
Just lay a tarp over it. Tell your mom you have no idea what happened. If she tries to press the issue, say it must have been the blacks.

If that doesn't work, blame the Jews.

If that fails, blame the Reptilians.

Continue throwing out scapegoats until you run out and just say it her fault for raising you without a father. Boom, problem solved,

>ITT virgins

I tried that, the minute hand came off and it started leaking more fluid
I'll try that. I think I heard her pulling into the driveway. Wish me luck lads.

Don't worry user, there is a very easy and fast replacement procedure.
Just find a cat ant start bullying it. The company will send you a new clock immediately. They will even clean up the old one for you.

Oh my god this thread. OP you reek of virginity...

>using virgin as an insult
>on Cred Forums
Why are you even here? I'm legitimately curious.

is date a live as good as this semen demon makes it seem

If the minute hand didn't work im afraid your click was false, its common that this happens, they seen to be good quality, but they are shit, we call'em "rooftop clock" im sorry to say this but im afraid that your clock is gone forever

It's okay. It has some fun moments. Watch it if you got nothing else to do.


Damn, that sucks

Also, didn't work and my mom grounded me with no dessert for a month. My life sucks.

>didn't work and my mom grounded me with no dessert for a month. My life sucks.
You should kill your mom desu. Don't let her take control over you life.

I found a sharp white thing located inside the minute hand. Can I use that? I'll probably get her while she sleeps.

Yeah, dude. Frame the clock. When the cops come, just tell 'em how it happened. Clock didn't work, there was a struggle, boom, dead mom.

Make sure you're your mom's heir, otherwise you're gonna lose your house and if that happens, you might as well kill yourself.

Did Shidou ever end up taming her with his dick? I only watched the first season.

My mom is usually open to my suggestions when she snorts her white medicine, so ask her to sign the papers then. Then I'll stab her and sell the house to the policeman for a discount rate in exchange for not investigating the crime.

There you go, user. You're playing to win. Get a plan and stick to it. Try to whore yourself out to some old woman for food and a bed. Gain her love, rinse and repeat.

This will be your new life now.

probably came from Cred Forums

Sweet. Thanks for the help guys, I already feel liberated from my moms tyranny.

There you go, lad. Stay strong. Try not to kill so much. I know it's hard, but it's a mess, friend.

No, clock has never been sealed


every second Kurumi or Origami is not on screen is painful to watch

>Mfw i saw DaL for clock, but stayed for tohka
she is a heartwarming qt, she deserves some love too


>loving sword retard
Heh. That's cool.

Director's cut soon at FFFast speeds

got a list of added clock scenes?