You used to work in the marketing department for a large video game publisher. Unfortunately...

You used to work in the marketing department for a large video game publisher. Unfortunately, you were recently laid off. Luckily, you quickly managed to find a job as head of marketing for a small snack company.
Sell me this cookie.

Soon they'll be produced by the quadrillions. By purchasing the cookie now, you'll be revered as the forerunner of the upcoming cookie craze and hip as fuck.

You SEE this cookie?
You can EAT IT!!!

Buy a Season Pass now and get the More Cookies DLC for free!

>that fucking filename

unlimeted chocolate droplets. With our new open-cookie™ technology, billions of chocolate pieces can be stacked inside a single cookie. You won't believe your taste buds when you'll try it. Pre-order your pack of the new cookies III now!!

write down your name

I send a free cookie to culinary journals and websites along with ridiculous sums of money to ensure constant advertising of my product.

I appear on as many tv shows as possible to hail this cookie as a revolution in the field of desserts, claiming it's the dessert to end all desserts. The product you'll see on TV is doctored to look bigger and with more chocolate than the actual product.

I make sure to create a vocal community of cookie lovers and generate massive hype in that community.

I hide my product until the day it hits the shelves. Before that day, I encourage people to "pre-buy" the cookie with the excuse that "it'll help predict the actual production needs".

I sell the cookie in neat, opaque individual packages the same price as the average cookie box.

Low cost additives are added to make the cookie taste something and look decent, as the real cookie is made from pure chemical shit and looks like petrified vomit, but costs fuck all to create, thus ensuring massive profit margins.

After the first month, quit cookie company and start making ice cream, repeat process.

buy the early access now to enjoy the cookie in an exciting and new way!

>it's literally just brown sugar and cocoa beans

>"I dont see any cookies in here, have you had one recently?"
>"Whens the last time you had one cookie alone without milk"
>"Satiating spoils is how this economy functions, you dont want a cookie, you want to know if cookies are available"
>"Overabundance of resources diminishes value because its too common-place, people want cookies but nobody wants cookies, understand?"
>"They say the best things in life are free, but people dont impulse buy at homeless shelters son, they love the feeling of buying and choice"
>"Did you have a mom that cooked, of course you did. You loved her cooking not because it was free, but because there was unconditional love during the process of making your dinner"
>"Well moms not around anymore and you need to fend for yourself, there are ambitions you need to follow, responsibilities to uphold, what happens when you have kids? When you get married and have a wife?"
>"You'd want to show your undying love as well, I'm sure of it"
>"Well you cant do that if you dont know whats good, you need recipes and experiences, you want to provide the best experience for your loved ones. And theres nothing quite like upholding that responsibility, you'll understand that one day"
>"For now, you spend your day learning and appreciating what ife has to offer so again I ask"
>"Whens the last you had a cookie alone without milk?"
That'll be $3 thank you.

For $45 you may get an amazing cookie in 2 years. That's right, just $100 will get you the most innovative cookie the world has ever seen.

btw you can also give me $15,000. The game won't come out for 7 years and the chips are bits of feces and dingleberries but I promise the game will be like nothing you've ever seen. I'll even send you a free cookie just to see how amazing it is. Only $15,000