ITT Shitty NES games that suck ass

What a dissapointment

My favorite episode.

My favorite speech from that episode is him riffing on the Game Over screen. Laughed like a retard.

i'm watching the series for the first time. i'm on the 7th one I think
they're okay
I like the one with the annoying kid with chocolate who gets killed.

It's great until you get to the one with the girl who has fucking telekinesis. It's all downhill until Jason X. That movie is so retarded it's fucking great. Freddy vs. Jason is just okay. Only watched it for the fights. The remake was great for the first couple minutes. Then it gets really lame. I hate how they took the supernatural element out of it and had Jason make an elaborate underground tunnel to explain how he's everywhere at once.

The Batman ep is the best

That one has the best song.
youtube.com/watch?v=HltchTPbH5Y

joker is too obnoxious
spider-man is better
wizard of oz is good until the cowardly lion

Great taste user.

Fred Fucks.

Finally when you do find the right door, how do you go in? Wanna know the way? Not up, not down, but PRESSING RIGHT, B, AND A! How much were they drinking? Why is it so stinking? I'm staring unblinking, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!

You first op.

We're just having nostalgia about the AVGN review of it grandpa.

I think the difference between old James and new James besides a few hair follicles is that back then he didn't do any hard research and wouldn't care about stepping on any franchise someone else might like. It was great.

6>7>4>8>3>2>1>5>JGTH>FvJ>>>>>>remake

What episode was this

It was a shitty Goonies 2 attempt.

This is still a good game in its own right, and basically takes what the original was about into a different perspective.

This game is an abomination and shits all over what the first game was about.

How the Nerd Stole Christmas

This game is actually fun... if you know what you're doing. The problem is, the mechanics are so complex and there are very little clues or tutorials.
Look up a guide, learn the mechanics, and then enjoy what is probably the first true horror game.

64 BITS

>AVGN
Who?

Well apparently Mega Man Legends sucks now, according to the authority

lmgtfy.com/?q=AVGN

THIRTY
TWO
BITS

16 BIT

AVGN is old hat. It's all about Mike and his ten (10) inch. MONSTERWANG.

SIXTY THREE BITS

Found the pleb.

Recently started playing this and it is fucking awesome. A true patrician's game. Tough but fair, willing to shake things up, great use of the hardware, bit too linear. Can understand the confusion after zelda 1 but it is genuinely good. Breath of the wild, I hope it is inspired by this as well as zelda 1.

>make his sword 1.25x as long
>game is now fun instead of a chore
i fixed your dumb design, miyamoto

Mega Man Legends was good for the characters and their interaction. The gameplay itself was fairly dull, which you'll quickly notice if you try replaying it again. It was also a bit grindy to get enough zenny to properly upgrade even one extra weapon, assuming you didn't want to just use the arm cannon and kicking.

I watched a few videos of these guys try to play video games and they seem casual as fuck. They can play Contra to death but they can't understand simple concepts in other games.

1-3 are the best movies in my opinion. 3 at the top because it has my favorite incarnation of Jason and 2 being the second. I want to keep 1 at the top because it's the original but Jason is a much better antagonist than Pamela, who just acted crazy by voicing Jason to herself telling her to kill people.

3 is good, but I think 6 is the best. It's self-aware without being self-insulting like X was. 3 is a close second though.

Top tier episode.
The Castlevania series is the best though

No nigger

Anybody can get good at a hard game if they practice enough. You can really tell that james has either gone soft in his old age or just flat out sucks at games when he has difficulty with a game like link's awakening. Mike is pretty decent at games though.

Who /predator/ here?

I'll have to re-watch 6. I got turned off by all the Tommy Jarvis shit, but I loved when Jason first awakens and some guy hits him on the head with a shovel and Jason just fucking whips around and punches his fist through his chest Kano style.

is Bootsy better?
I think it's cheap how he's artificially good, by playing it a hundred times

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I actually agree with this. It definitely has it's share of problems (such as confusing navigation, especially in the forest and caves), but I didn't find it all that horrible once I knew what the fuck I was supposed to be doing instead of just walking around aimlessly. I liked that it was trying to do something unique instead of just a normal Mario style sidescroller. If the game was a little less obtuse and a little more polished, it could have been pretty damn good.

It also never ceases to blow my mind that the game, while distributed by LJN, was actually made made Atlus.

>artificially good
That's a new one

>I think it's cheap how he's artificially good, by playing it a hundred times

How the fuck else do you get good at a game?

You have to be 18 to use this forum

Thta's why "get good" is retarded. Anybody can "get good" you should just BE skilled.

I tried playing this for the first time and it was okay

not THE best NES game but surely it's not unplayable. Just extremely difficult to control. Plus the game throws you in without explaining anything really. Just like Total Recall. WITH DANNY DEVITO THE TRASH MAN

Most NES games are garbage that it will be harder to name the good games

Even harder to nane non Nintendo good NES games

Lol, look at this fucking old timer everybody. Did you accidentally poop your pants? Do you need a diaper changing old man?

> non Nintendo good NES games
It still had some solid third party support from the likes of Konami, Capcom and the like.

Most games of any system with a large library are garbage

Dragon Spirit, Shatterhand and Shadowgate were my favorites.

>I think it's cheap how he gets good at games by playing them alot.
Yo, is this person fucking retarded?

...

i really don't like this game myself but i can understand the appeal

Experience beats talent every time.

but..but AVGN and Arino have so much experience and they SUCK at every god damn game they pick up

Sure thing mom.

johnny get out of this thread

>AVGN and Arino have so much experience
>and they SUCK at every god damn game they don't have experience with

They don't retain things like jumping at the pixel end of a platform. They don't grasp how to get maximum height from double jumps. To abuse invincibility frames

Just so you know, Akagi isn't real. No one instantly becomes the greatest Mahjong player in the world without ever playing it.

Metroid on the NES.

Game was shitty but I enjoyed it.

>artificially good

Ahahahaha oh wow

There are people who were naturally the greatest at something since birth.

...

Mozart existed.

the title screen is the best part of the game

and keeping with Arnie-core, Total Recall was a turd, especially that godawful driving section.

i really liked this and jaws

>Mozart
>the greatest at anything

Maybe the greatest at squandering his wealth but that's it.

Pic related is the greatest composer and he worked for it.

it is quite unforgiving. I remember being stuck at the construction site for weeks.

>Mozart existed.
>existed
>implying

Can anyone even name 10 good NES games? They've aged so badly. Only one game per franchise allowed.

Must feel nice being wrong.
But anyways Mozart is still generally regarded as the greatest musician, much like Citizen Kane is regarded as the greatest film. It's the go-to answer the general public has for "the best" of those mediums.

I don't understand what reference you're making user.

Mega Man
Castlevania
Zelda
Mario
River City Ransom
Contra
Ninja Gaiden
Punch out
Metroid
ExciteBike
Dr. Mario
Tecmo Bowl

>trying to cover up your tracks
Not happening this time, Amadeus.

>greatest musician
>greatest film

These are both subjective terms anyways.

Oh goodness it's just Aran.

I was getting triggered at first by how misgendered she was.

>Metroid
Stop.

But they're still the ones regarded as greatest musician and film, nothing I can do about that.
Again, It's the go-to answer the general public has for "the best" of those mediums, as subjective as an actual proper answer would be.

No, your arbitrary question was satisfied. You may kill yourself now.

It wasnt even me. Im just saying NES Metroid is SHIT.

The level design is literally perfect, moreso than Super, aside from THAT ROOM

Nah m8, your taste is shit. Get fucked.

>confusion incarnate
>perfect level design

I can say Other M's voice acting was Oscar worthy, doesn't make it true.

>telling lies on the Internet

get gud kid

OP said shitty games, not great ones

8 BIT

If Mozart was considered the best musician of all time, why is it that almost no one listens to him anymore.

If Citizen Kane was considered the best movie ever made, why is it that no one watches it anymore except for people that go to film school?

If you go out and ask people who the best musician that ever lived was, you'd get many different answers. If you asked them what was the greatest movie of all time, you'd get many different answers.

This is because there is actually no such thing as "the greatest musician" or "the greatest movie"

user, most of the best games on the NES weren't made by Nintendo

They still seem to lack basic knowledge of common gaming principles. You'd think they would pick up on some of them considering they play them all the fucking time.

I literally just asked 12 random people on the street both of those questions and they al answered with Mozart and Citizen Kane.

How much did you pay them to say that?

OP, that F13th game came out in 1989 and, like Tim Burton's Batman which came out that same year, I still love it despite its flaws. I was in a store here in Hamilton, Ontario called Cheapies and took some pics of this toy they were selling. Best part was when you opened the box the game theme played. I caved and bought it. #NoFreeWill

Here's the music from the game.... youtu.be/UEgEAQ2J5wI

HOLY SHIT, someone did a remix of said music and it FUCKING ROCKS!!!FACT!!! youtu.be/hyfepNt-ypE

...

I spent countless hours on this game and eventually beat it because otherwise I would've felt bad about wasting my parents' money, but I definitely didn't enjoy it.

youtube.com/watch?v=LEX2aiFaZpE

F13th 5 is second tier but I can still enjoy it. My list is as follows F13th 1>4>6>5>2>7>3>8>9>JX>FvJ>remake!!!FACT!!! youtu.be/1Vbb9Z2J0bA

Seeing this screenshot triggers my ptsd from another game, strangely. It was Indiana Jones: the Last Crusade action game, specifically the crusader crypt in canals part, shit was confusing and hard as balls.

/unjerk/ This is some top trolling, good job

/re-jerk/ Thats why I have a strict vetting process by which I kidnap Amish men and have them play videogames. If they can't beat Contra: Shattered Soldier 100% in 10 attempts or less I send them back to their natural habitat. If they do, they will have made a powerful friend for life.

All of them

Those mechanics can and do all vary wildly from game to game

Weird because I literally just asked 12 random people on the street both of those questions and I got stuff like; Michael Jackson, Kanye West, Biggie Smalls, Paul McCartney, Beethoven, and Elvis Presley.

When I asked about movies they said stuff like: Star Wars Episode IV, The Terminator, Titanic, Alien, Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather, and Scarface.

Maybe you should actually leave your house and talk to an actual human being.

How in the hell is it confusing?

You have to be eating paint chips to think there is a critical consensus about film, let alone that Citizen Kane is considered the best.

Plenty of people consider it the most influential on how contemporary film is structured and shot, but thats not really the "best"

However, that Nightmare on Elm Street NES game can get fucked!!!FACT!!! youtu.be/noLPhZvcBpw

I live in New England. Sounds like you live somewhere with complete tasteless retards going to third rate universities.

Adventure Island 3
Adventures of Lolo 3
Batman
Battletoads
Battle of Olympus
Bionic Commando
Blaster Master
A Boy and His Blob
Bubble Bobble 2
Bucky O'Hare
Castlevania 3
Clash at Demonhead
Super C
Crisis Force
Crystalis
Double Dragon 2
River City Ransom
Duck Tales
Faxanadu
G.I. Joe
Gargoyles Quest 2
Getsuu FuumaDen
Ghosts N Goblins
Gimmick
Golgo 13: The Mafat Conspiracy
Goonies 2
Gradius
The Guardian Legend
Gun Nac
Hammerin Harry
Jackal
Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu
Journey To Sillius
Kisckmaster
Kickle Cubicle
Kid Dracula
Kid Icarus
Lagrange Point
The Legend of Zelda
Dragon Quest 3
Final Fantasy
Little Nemo the Dream Master
Little Samson
Maniac Mansion
Magic of Scheherazade
Megaman 3
Metal Gear
Metal Storm
Metroid
Mighty Final Fight
Punch Out
Mother
Nightshade
Ninja Gaiden 3
Panic Restaurant
Power Blade 2
Rygar
Uninvited
Shadow of the Ninja
Shatterhand
Snake Rattle N Roll
Star Tropics
Recca
Sweet Home
Super Spy Hunter
TMNT 3: The Manhattan Project
Vice Project Doom

Take your pick folks, I have plenty more

What makes NG3 better than the other 2?

All shit.

How sad must it be to be so autistic that you can't fathom that times change and music evolves far past what some faggot that wrote music with socks on his hands could even think about.

youtube.com/watch?v=LJhL8OpnPdU

>tfw no kawaii statue of liberty gf

What is that song you posted supposed to imply?

FUCK

I do leave my house that post was a joke maybe you should chill.

>you will never be a dumb teenager anticipating the weekly AVGN episode after school ever again
>you will never watch nintendo power/console/whatever your favorite episode is for the first time ever again
>you will never stumble on to a pre-handsome tom split screwattack top 10 ever again

It just doesn't get all that much love compared to the first 2, possibly because it doesn't have infinite continues. Despite this I actually think it is more fairly designed than the other 2, and has easily available 1-ups in a few key choke points that prevent you from losing all your progress (since you can keep collecting it until you pass the stage)

Its also visual shorthand to show that there are at least 2 other games on the system. Its a way of implying more games without violating the "one game per franchise" rule and helps make the list look more robust.

Its a shame to hear you say that, theres a lot of fun, challenging stuff here.

Its also really interesting to see how design philosophy and mechanics have grown and changed within genres as well as franchises as time has gone on.

That just like Citizen Kane, the people of the time it was created can't appreciate how good it is.

Kool Keith is actually the greatest artist of all time, Just wait a few hundred years and people will understand.

Just like Wesley Willis.

youtube.com/watch?v=HPftjJlqDdQ

>artificially good because he got better through practice
Never change Cred Forums

Wesley Willis is actually a really cool example of punk aesthetic emerging independently from the context of the larger movement by an outsider artist.

Just like the game Gone Home, it truly is the Citizen Kane of gaming because it sucks and is boring as fuck. But give it about thirty or forty years and some faggots will say it's the best game of all time.

...

I love Wesley Willis.

My favorite track is Vampire Bat.
youtube.com/watch?v=cz_YqUHIBtQ

Good to know you are le mature and sophisticated consumer of childrens toys like myself

Worst Castlemania ever, didn't they test this game before they released it?

Cred Forums STOP IT

STOP BEING RETARDED

>artificially good

Stop. You know what I meant.

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ALL OF THE DAY BRO.

>Was born on Friday the 13th.
>09/13/1985
>9+1+3=13
>8+5=13
>9+1+3=13
>Three 13's in my birth date.
>Just turned 31 on the 13th.
>31 is 13 reversed.

ILLUMINATI.

Honestly, thanks for this. I haven't heard of all of these and might try them later

This one pissed me off. Zelda 2 is great.

HE'D RATHER HAVE A BUFFALO

Freddy vs Jason has the most brutal kill in the series.

The guy who just got done fucking his grillfriend stabbed with a machete repeatedly then folded in half.

Fucking metal.

No problem, I have more if you are curious, or can limit the pool by genre/preference. What type of games are you looking to play?

DUMP A HUGE LOAD OF CUM IN HIS WIFE!

I like the art.

That folded in-half kill is in the new game. You do it with a lawn-chair.

youtube.com/watch?v=zttVkYUI71A

Why do people cry about this level?

I beat it by myself when I was in Kindergarten.

Not having a father growing up made me into a fucking warrior.

I think people don't realize that you can switch characters at any time, effectively giving you 4 life bars to make it through the tricky bits

Well I meant the post-sex, "You know I don't like to be touched afterwords, babe!", she's showering and feeling worthless, you're laying in bed drinking a beer and then getting your shit wrekt to the nth degree.

Then later in the movie, didn't she get high and his ghost was like "What the fuck? I just died and you're already getting high?"

top kek

I did it with one fucking character though.

I died a bunch of times but I got good when I was what, 5-6?

I know what you meant. I liked when he twists a guys head backwards and pushes him down with his finger. Movie had great kills, absolute shit plot though. A fucking anti-dream drug? Christ.

>Artificially good
I. What? Doing things multiple times is how you get good, you fucking retard.

I still hold onto hopes that someday we'll get another Zelda game this good. That's not gimmicky, handholdy and doesn't rely on partners to show you where to go all the time.

With challenging enemies that push your shit in, and that awesome as fuck magic system, but also expands on the 2D combat gameplay by giving Link more Abilities in the same way as the up and down stab.

They tried this in Minish cap and if memory serves right, twilight princess (havent replayed it in years because it has no replay value in my eyes) but they just kinda...don't have that same feeling. I want another Rustic world where everything is hidden away and dangerous again. Towns and npcs that matter and where you get a sense of progression through a leveling system and where keeping yourself alive matters.

Zelda will never be the one to do it again though, not as long as that casual hack Aonuma and his gimmick babies are in charge.

>mfw anytime I remember he's in charge
>mfw I know BOTW will get fucked up somehow by some bullshit he or Miyamoto will force in.
>mfw those crazy senile fucks wont retire

Fuck Mozart. The greatest composers were obviously Bach, Beethoven, and Dvorak.

Is that a real/possible thing though?

Laamictal gives you SUPER vivid dreams.

I'm sure they have something to reduce or suppress the REM part of sleep.

Magnets?

...

If you ARE good you just do it. If you're artificially good you had to work.
Rain man was just good at math, he didn't work at it like a poser.

All of them, with the possible exception of Mario 3 and Kirby's Adventure.

>learn an opponents one weakness and abuse it for 2 minutes
no thanks

>artificially good, by playing it a hundred times

Has ATLUS ever made a good game?

Underrated

git gud

filters are disgusting

I am. if I can do it once, I can do it every time. it's a stupid game without variety
if ONE of the boxers did everything, that would be great.

>It actually took me 20+ years to beat Jaws

Just couldn't hit that fucking shark..

I'm currently in Minneapolis, ask 12 people here and you'll get:
Princex11
Madonna (my roommate's answer)

Op grow the fuck up adults dont speak like you you manchild >:[

...

You remind me to Bart Simpson.

But this game is better than the Legend of Zelda.

It was like cheating because the answers were in his head?

Yes.

FUCK this game

>this was made by the same man behind Wasteland 1/2

really makes you think

>Wasteland
Any good? Never heard of it.

He doesn't seem to be afraid of offending someone's tastes these days. Did you not see his video about not reviewing the new Ghostbusters movie?

youtube.com/watch?v=_lh40GRnK1k
WHAT WERE THEY EVEN THINKING

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Every play Fallout?
It's like that

i've never heard of it. what's wrong with it?

That game is a fucking trainwreck.

Because it isn't good.

I'm replaying TP thanks to loadiine and they gave Link lots of items/abilities but it's just that there is barely any use for them.

wait, you really think you know better than the creators of Zelda? Who made the ones you enjoy so much already?

is this a good game or is this one of those games hipsters pretend to like, kind of like earthbound?

I don't pretend to like Earthbound and I'm not a hipster.
So shut up.

I know you're ironically baiting me for a reply, so here's your (you), (you) fucking hipster.

...

I'm not, you're the one posting "le earthbound is hipster" shit.
I bet you can't even tell me what "hipster" means and are just repeating the same shit you've heard over and over you retard.

Very bad controls.

Heh, you made a funny.

>earthbound
>not a game that spawned starmen.net
>not a game which undertale was influenced by
>not a game that literally marketed itself with a scratch 'n sniff game guide
>le poster defending his hipster sensibilities
Did I strike a nerve?

It's funny because the film did indeed turn out to be dreadful.

>these things make it a bad game

I don't know about Earthbound, but Ufouria is a pretty fun game desu.

this is WAY better
youtube.com/watch?v=hlqQD6C4lfg

The good nes games aren't first party.

It's a legit good time. It's kind of like Metroid and later Castlevanias mixed with Castlevania 3 character switching

>he didn't do any hard research
That's bullshit and you know it.