Why does a fucking cripple get best girl?

Why does a fucking cripple get best girl?

Fuck you OP! Stop playing with my feelings!

Where would you put your dick?

Its an infiltration unit. You really think Cerberus didn't think of that?

No in my ending :^)

I don't actually. Plus, nothing was ever mentioned about that in game as far as I remember.

>Plus, nothing was ever mentioned about that in game as far as I remember.

There's a strong implication.

CUSHIONS

>hottest girl in the entire series
>it's a robot
Is bioware trying to push the fuckbot future?

>everything has to be sexualized, even the fucking ship's AI
thats one of the reasons why the series went to the shit, starting with 2

Everything was sexualized in 1 too
>krogan balls

To appeal to the chair bound Internet degenerates thinking they'll just get a fuckbot in the future rather than actually try to get a girl.

Literally worst girl, Legion was the superior robot qt

Legion is a gay orgy. At least EDI is singular.

EDI is great, no doubt about it. I think I'll take what's behind Mask #1 though.

Yeah I'm not the one to complain about sexualization but ME3 had a case of too much sexualization. I couldn't even play the game around normies because they would think I'm some kind of pervert(I am but c'mon).

>EDI
>best girl

this

Please do not lewd my adorable space imouto

>complaining about best guy Joker finally getting a GF

would you?

Yes.

Because Joker is Sam to Shepard's Frodo. He never abandoned him, not even in his darkest hour and without him, there would be no quest.

>yfw EDI will crush his pelvis because of his boneitis

>Shepard could fix this and chooses not to

good. i'm glad.

Garrus likely doesn't want the scars fixed. As in literally, wasn't it considered sexy/a point of pride for Turian soldiers to have scars?

No clue on Joker though. Maybe he didn't want to risk fucking up his best pilot.

>what's behind Mask #1 though.
here you go

There should be a Joker edit of Pepe.
>live in a universe full of sexy alien women
>stay in my chair all day just typing on my holographic keyboard
>tfw my 2D waifu AI becomes real and I marry her

No. I don't accept that reality. It wasn't even in-game, so therefore it doesn't count. Shitty photoshop job on a stock image.

>Chakwas refuses to operate
because she got cucked by EDI and Joker being a cripple is the only thing that keeps him visiting

Really makes you think...

Didn't he also lament that now the chicks won't dig him anymore, though?
And Shepard tried to cheer him up with "hell, Garrus, you were always ugly"?

this hurts you

...

The skeletal lattice upgrade only works for Shepard because he/she is loaded with cybernetics.

you're a man after my own heart.

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SHOOT IT.

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Seth Green is fucking you're waifu

is this more your speed?

>Sexbot out the ass
>Well I'm okay with it if I can fuck her
>I can't

FUCK YOU BIOWARE. FUCK YOU

It has built-in stilettos. It literally couldn't remove it's shoes or other clothes.

Actually that's really not half bad, yeah.

I for one welcome our new fembot overlords

almost

did he die?

...

Will they mercilessly insult us like SHODAN?

Mass Effect fields. Game doesn't acknowledge falling damage.

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>EDI gets a generic fuckbot body/subplot
>attempts to make Ash sexier just fucking ruined her
>they wanted Tali to be typically pretty by human standards, so she's a barely-edited stock photo of a pretty human
Damn you, Bioware.

>Game doesn't acknowledge falling damage.
Can you even fall anywhere?

...

...

Good stuff.

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You can if the games for some reason pushes you off the boundaries. You won't get damage since that's not supposed to happen

I did not really get why they made her a sex robot in ME3, but fuck it, why not. Joker would fuck some exhust port on the Normandy anyways,so why not give him a women who will literaly destroy his dick.

>Implying the Illusive Man didn't have a set of onaholes/fleshlights with a built-in heater already installed on the model

He already had best girl Chakwas though.
Mass Effect is basically a harem anime from the perspective of an irrelevant side character.

Whoops, coolant leak, you got that Tali?

...

Wanted to replay the ME games over again on PC but ME1 textures look like absolute ass and I forgot how to fix that.

Turn off film grain.

That is one super comfy Tali picture. It makes me wonder if they actually have heavier suits for colder/hotter worlds. I know we don't see them ingame since Tali always has the one suit, but still.

>It wasn't even in-game
But the picture was in game.

Fucking for real? I spent an entire afternoon fiddling around the game files on notepad to no avail. Cheers.

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Adorable.

my heart

What's funny is that given Bioware's writing you both might be right.

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i flirted with her after every mission hoping to bang her before the end of the game

Goddamn you pathetic sissy's. Tali may be humanoid, but she should not look human. Your projection to be the cute Romanian fuck-alien ruined the character.

I still wonder, can Shepard and Tali have children? Or adoption is only choice?

>a space gypsy

literally worst girl except for the MtF

Kind of a fuckin true story. But I can't really rememeber Mass Effect now without thinkin of Gamer Poop.

That gif made me laugh way harder than I should have.

multilateral trading facility?

>Shepard and Tali have children
How? They're different species with incompatible biology and quarians aren't asari.

She lots half of her appeal with her reveal.
Keeping an air of mystery about her is what made a lot of people love her.

>Can two different species have a child together?
>One is dextro-amino, the other levo-amino
No.

...

They kinda somewhat retconned it in the new DLC ending.

Quarians are basically just purple humans with glowing eyes and inverted legs.

Quarians are more likely compatible with Turians.
You don't remember team Dextro?

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Thats not why I liked her, I did not give a shit about the mystery

>tfw as soon as I got to that point I instantly closed the game and deleted the torrent.

Not to mention that ME3 was already trash, but that was the tipping point where I couldnt keep playing that shitfuck game.

I don't really care all that much with how she should look, I'm mostly just pissed that they missed literally the perfect moment to reveal her face, when she takes her mask off on Rannoch, and they just say "fuck it make it a photo"

They're no more able to reproduce than you are with an otter.

True.

Welp, Liara could used her "voodoo Asari magic" at the end of ME3 to get one without Shepard noticing that.
Bitch can't take no for an answer.

For all the cute Tali does, I always remember she also is a badass. Chooses a shotgun, is able to hack pretty much everything but reapers, and stands her ground against anyone trying to do her wrong instead of submitting.

She is truly the perfect girl.

Rendering it in-game would have cost actual money. Pirating photoshop and using a stock photo is much cheaper.

>mfw their probably going to completely ignore the possibility of a Batarian squadmate in favor of another turian, quarian and more of that awful asari
>tfw you will never understand why the batarians are the way that they are
>tfw you will never rip things apart with a batarian up close and personal while you get overwatch cover from a drell

I said Turian/quarian was 'more likely' when comparing to a human/quarian because of the Dextro-amino thing, dipshit.

i pick Liara bacause she can give you a handjob with her powers when you are out in public

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The only way to play

Volus grills best grills

hanar or gtfo

go on the nexus and download new textures silly goose. Also you should get that FPS counter program so you can fuck with the color settings.

but I still haven't figured out how to remove the shadows on the corners of the screen

nah, it was just badly made

BLOWJOBS FOR THE CRIPPLEBOY!

Elcor master race

>No vorcha squadmate
>Instead we get Asari (male)

Wait what?

they don't remember in 2 when she says remoiving the suit makes her capable of infection which can be sometimes fatal? ya they don't change suits; imagine how oozy gushy she was when she steamed out of the suit that 1 time just to get some human dick.

At the end of 3 Liara and Shepard can have a weird magical Asari moment that people tend to assume is her knocking herself up with his child.
This scene doesn't depend on romancing her.

I remember that quite well. They live in the suits, but they do have clean rooms on their medical ships or whatever. They can't bloody well give birth through a suit afterall.

What a fucking whore

I imagine future showers are decontamination ones too, pretty sure she'd hop out of her suit every now and then.

She also says they go suitless in cleanrooms aboard their ships.
Heck Shepard coulda banged her in the airlock of the Normandy if he wasn't retarded.

goddamn right

they don't absolutely need the suits on 100% of the time. if they're in a sterile environment alone they could go full nude in order to bathe, change suits, or whatever. it's also canon that there are suits for quarians that give tactile sensation (advertised to be as good as the real thing) with holes/pockets for insertions. these suits are basically full body condoms, so it's entirely possible to fuck a quarian in the dirtiest environment with no risk of infection as well.

Why did the fucking computer get legs?

People wanted to stick their dick in it, but couldn't figure out how to if it didn't have legs.

More like
>Elcor extinct race

;_;7

>no Elcor tank companion
>No Biotic God
>No Blasto dlc mission

>Ship crew gets increasingly mad they can not enter or leave the ship because sheppard is banging the space gypsy in the airlock, again

would you mututally masturbate with morinth?

>Steve keeps hitting on me

No fuck off just becauase I'm being friendly with you doesn't mean I want your dick in my ass, at least Kaiden took no for an answer

I'd rather Samara.
Morinth has a date with the airlock after Shep is done with Tali.

Bioware games in a nutshell.

What sort of piece of shit do you have to be to kill Samara instead? Even if you do Morinth just becomes another generic renamed Banshee in ME3.
> Shep is done with Tali.
Might take a few hours, maybe more if it was me.

>samara is driven by her vows to kill morinth
>if she can't kill her daughter then she must kill herself
I know you can stop her from killing herself AND spare morinth, but why is there no option to stop her from shooting herself and convincing her to commit suicide by incest?

That sounds exactly like something a Renegade Commander Shepard would recommend.

I'll even go a step further. Make it so the space voodoo doesn't work on kin, so Samara actually just ends up having sex with both of her living daughters to be their constant relief valve.

EDI is best waifu

friendly reminder that edi is not just the robot, but the ship as well. she sees everything everyone does inside her. she "feels" everything that touches her parts. when you use the toilet you're effectively shitting/pissing in her mouth.

I wish talimancers would go back to the bioware forums and than die.

Why would you say no to a member of race literally built to be perfect that wants you so bad she was the only one of your group of "friends" that tried to actually look into your death?

back of the knee maybe

>when you use the toilet you're effectively shitting/pissing in her mouth.

jesus

I mean why else would she choose the cripple that can't even jack off without shattering his femur? she's seen everyone else do everything, but with him she can take care of him and be the big strong woman fending for her crippled little boy.

I imagine Joker is an avid user of future Cred Forums
>be pilot aboard swanking new ship
>comes with a kick ass AI
>AI has female disposition
>work closely together under stressful situations
>i get a feeling there is some genuine feels passing
>accidentally fall for AI
>she totally knows it
>in denial
>gets sexy gynoid proxy
>mixed feelings
>really mixed feelings
>tells me she enjoys improving my moral
>right in the feels
>terrible

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>best girl
>fleshlight of the future

why do people remind me of mass effect 3
i started feeling burning sensation in my gut again from all the disappointment

>It wasn't even in-game
Are you actually pretending that you romanced Tali?

>robot girls

Mmm...

>best girl
real funny op

HOTGLUE
O
T
G
L
U
E

>tfw you will never be inside EDI's giant body

This man knows

FUCKING STOP

Feminine cockpit

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>why

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>huge cups without lids
>all that volume wasted on ice
fucking disgusting.

Best. Bought the collection, romanced her through all of the games, never regretted it.

DELET
E
L
E
T

did you download T.H.E.M.?

yes.

It's a fucking fantasy game. It's for living a reality that doesn't exist. So futa Liara is the only true waifu.

You're a fag. And EDI could get "attachments"

Only a half-fag.

>insert """Henry""" meme here.
Dicks are gross, man. I'd rather touch a pussy.

Because

Pussies are like horrible pink oysters. Either that or illegal and immoral to fuck.

Literally kill yourself you cancerous fuck.

Bad pussy is better than good dick, in my opinion.

Blue waffle

Because he created a relationship (haha ship) before she was a robit with a hot body

That thing where semen dries under your foreskin.

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>that conversation between shep and edi near the end where she talks about how she connected/identified with joker at first because neither of them could effectively leave the ship
>that part of the conversation where she basically says that she pities him because she had a fully functional super tough body now and he's still a frail cripple.

>Chakwas went against everything she stood for and joined a group of anti-human terrorists just to stick with Joker and mother him
>has to drink alone on the ship while he's out on cute dates

I love how this argument come up, before the fact that she is a completely different species. That's like saying we can't have kids with kangaroos because they're marsupials.