Meanwhile, on Undead Cred Forums

Meanwhile, on Undead Cred Forums...

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So have you guys hyped for the new alive rising?

I keep killing Scorpion but he won't fucking get the hint.

We may be undead

but battleborn isn't

Is this our guy?

It's gonna be shit, as if alive rising 3 didn't make slaughtering humans easy enough

Is there any game out there that even comes close to accurately showing how we kindred exist? Every game with kindred either lets them walk in the sun or makes them mindless killing machines, plus even other kindred call each other vampires in the game.

You'd think that over the few masquerade breaches in the modern nights would at least inspire some kind of writer to make some facsimile of us by now.

>2016

Failed lich class.

Help!

How did The Old Republic become the most successful MMO of all time?

MAN, I REALLY LOVE DRINKING BLOOD

No, but she is our girl.

UNGA BUNGA ROCKSTOP

nice

I just want to fucking die

World needs ditch diggers too.

post waifus

...

>Flail
Get that traitor outta here

>vampires on my Cred Forums
bleh bleh bleh bleh

go Phoenix Down yourself

But you already are you silly ghoul

>mfw humanists are getting necromancy banned

"THEY WON'T COME FOR YOUR SKELETONS" THEY SAID.

"NOBODY'S GOING TO TAKE YOUR BONES AWAY" THEY SAID.

>Literally going around killing hordes of peasants for dominion in the Necrokingdom

Yeah nah Sandrofags are the worst.

Sandro/Kel'Thuzad 2016

Meanwhile, on Shark Cred Forums...

WE NEED TO BULD A WALL AND THE SKELETONS ARE GOING TO PAY FOR IT

fuck dolphins

Um, I think I'm in the wrong place I was supposed to be heading to Gensokyo....

>new class
>get grouped with this really cute vampire
>one of our group members is late, we're kinda hitting it off
>turns out the new group member is a fucking paladin
>they end up dating

>paladin walks into your class
>doesn't murder you all

Fuck, what country do you live in

HE WAS AN EXCHANGE STUDENT OK SHOW SOME DECENCY

I need... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES

Vampire master race here fucking zombies you are literally the leeches of our society even skeletons are better than you please consider going to the next holy church and get exterminated by a paladin you will do a favor to the world ending your pathetic existence

You're in the right place, just go down touhou ave

Hey guys I got a BONE to pick EHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH

FLESHIES LEAVE

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(((Skeleton))) humor

BLOOD POWER RANKINGS ***OFFICIAL***

O
AB
A
B

+>>>>>>>-

One paladin that pretends to be tolerant of you doesn't mean shit. They're all taught from birth to destroy all undead, and they're all huge pieces of ignorant shit. They're just like the Muslims of this game I've been playing called Real Life 4

r8 my gf lads

>cremated people will never be a skeleton

top fucking kek, what were they thinking

if you don't exclusivly drink AB- then you don't know SHIT about exsanguination

Mummy here

Whatchu gon do when we steal all your women when they learn we can give what you can't provide bitch boi

Paladins are actually pretry cool you know guys they treat all kinds of undead well, anyone wanna meet up at the church? We will have some blood for yall

Take off that wig, ya fag

P-Post more pls

wow cool it with the holyphobia, its 1430h for fucks sake

I'm new to this, "kinda dead, but totally alive" thing. When do we wake up?

...

no way not today faggot

WADI AL-SALAAM

Can't wake up

>mummy

What do you mean we can't wake up? EVERYTHING else can wake up, but we can't?

Who else is Cred Forumstergeist here? Trying to get some people out of my home, because the damn government gave them the okay to live here.

FUCKING FLESHIES LEAVE!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

R8 me lads
Just turned 1000 years of undeath!

Son, I...

>still wearing a dress

lmao u look like a gay ass paladin

Man! How can you wake up dead?

8/10 WOULD SPOOK VILLAGERS WITH

Human here. Got one of you faggots inside of me right now.

>1000 years
MODS

Could use more chains.

...

>tfw 22000 years old and still a virgin

Juuust waiting to be let out !!

Such things lose all meaning when the flesh sloughs off.

Nah m8 Bill's waiting for you to lose your virginity before he busts out

He might be there for a while

>tfw I got rejected by a qt3.14 lich again
Pls end my existence

haha you fucking moralfags dumping my skeleton CP to trigger you newfags gtfo my bone weaving board

posting pure waifus, have fun with your 500 year old roastie gangrean sluts

>that guy in lich academy who's jaw fell off

>you will never have forbidden love with a paladin

mm i like the very young ones

aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHERE ARE THE LICHES

MODS

MODS

dumping gore to repel normies gtfo of my board *REEEAAATLE RATTLE*

...

Skeletons are gay, zombies are where it's at. Fucking boneheads. Pic related, it's me.

Half-Dead 3 when?

STOP IT

DELET THIS YOU SICK FUCK

FUCKING PALADINS

REEEEEEEEEEEEEETTLE rattle

Everybody always forgets about their history lessons when talking shit like this about Paladins. Does nobody remember the evil empire that was nothing but Blackguards? How about the church of undeath?


I mean... not to mention it's 5th fucking edition my friend, we've had good aligned liches for a while now.

>in human village
>never feel like I fit in
>go to undead town
>skeletons everywhere telling stupid puns every five minutes
You guys are worse than Humans.

Where is the vampire quarter in undead city?

We are all undead, my brother.
good game btw

Hiro is asleep, post nudes

ghosts > skellies
incorporeal etc.

Reminder that there is nothing wrong with mortalitymixing everyday the number of alive-undead couples increases

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaames....

Nice.

>human """scientists""" kidnap our waifus and put them up as an exhibition
disgusting

Vampire here we don't want you near we will throw you at a church if you come close

>vampires
Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club's two blocks down.

>not being a dwarf skeleton wearing a Pickelhaube, traveling through time and serving famous people with mad breakdancing skills

>tfw no paladin gf to cast a healing spell on me

Holy shit
Name?
Sauce?

great, my cleric just walked by and saw this now im excommunicated

Hey Faggots,
My name is Dragonchad, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are bigboned, retarded, lifers who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pelvis? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebone.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the necromancy team, and starter on my boneball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese skeleton”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO rattles). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me heading to my bitch!

Guys help I got turned into a chair someone come reassemble me.

Got you covered

I'm a Paladin that's mainly focused on combating Demonic incursions, with a secondary focus on the bizarre things that cannot be named.
To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of those Holy Orders that blindly smite the Undead. I was always taught to revere and venerate my ancestors, especially those who also served, but some of these guys are so zealous they go into completely benign family crypts to smash the peacefully resting skeletal remains therein and banish the spirits of our dearly departed family who watch over us.

r8 me, i just dot the getup fresh from skeleton laundry, qt skeleton lady from laundry place was mirin

>weak to paladins
>weak to knights
>weak to enchanted weapons
are there anything undead dragons do right? Fucking dragonormies

>tfw no qt undead hunter gf to bind me with silver chains and drip holy oil on me
;_;

That's real fucking HUMERUS, hahahaha get it?

Fucking skeletons. Fucking idiots. Fucking cunts. Fuck. This is the shit I have to deal with in this stupid fucking city.
>that time two skeletons killed themselves by thinking about life too much
>youtube.com/watch?v=v4HE4Ucsg1I
Literal idiots.

Fedora/10

>tophat
sooooooo last century

(((cremation)))

...

Someone, anybody,,, please help. End me

>tfw no zombie paladin gf to Sanctify and end your fucking existence

...

...

Is that you?
Pls be in transilvania

>he doesn't main Undead in BB2

Yeah, just try and inflict injuries on my team. It's not gonna work.

>undead have their own paladin class
why did no one tell me?

>current year
>not having skeletina as your waifu
what's your excuse?

>walking in graveyard to to GraveStop for some vidya
>Fucking wraith jumps me and steals my gold

Seriously why can't we just gather all the wraiths and and throw some holy water on those mother fuckers.

SLIM
L
I
M

>Tfw spooked one of my descendents to death
Wow, what a gay, 'es crying now that 'es a skelinton now.

It's , why do people still not know about this?

fucking normies have kidnapped my grandpa and are torturing him

female (male)?

>open up bonechan
>undead thread
>skeletons everywhere
>nothing about vampires, almost nothing about ghosts or other spectral forms, almost nothing about zombies
These threads are shit. Skeletons are practically niggers

I dont have the guts

>newfag
skeletons are always the most experienced posters, dumb zombie.

skellingtons are seriously the most entry level undeath

like.. how the fuck do you not even at least get turned into a ghoul? c'mon the fuck on people

>skeletons
-educated
-nicely looking
-white
>zombies
-"muh brains"

try to hold a conversation with zombie you vampirelover, had three in my undead class, they're dense

Reminder that waifu wise
Humans>Liches>>>>>>>Vampire>Ghoul>>Ghoust>>>Zombie>Wraith>Skeletons>Everything else>>>>>>>>>>>>Mummy's

>humans
>above anything
pleb taste

t. Zombie

Come back to us once you lose all that weight, fattie

STARS?

LOL

Dwarf with a top hat, magnetic dirty bones hiding in a museum from Mayor smith.

HOLD UP
*Rattles angrily*
ARE YOU SAYING
*Picks off a speck of skin*
THAT WE
*dumps carton of milk on self*
SOME KIND OF
*Spooks you*
FUCKING FLESHY?!

>Hot ass Zombie messages me on Bonr
>Meet her irl
>Barely rotting
>White teeth
>Has all her limbs (her profile pic had her missing an arm)

Gtfo asap

All those buildings but zero transportation infrastructure of any kind

>T.Paladin

Remember to thank your healer!
Skhosts are important members of undead society too.

Fuck you, open it. I fucking dare you.

>opened up an urn I found
>my grandson pops out as a ghost

what the fuck

You can't be undead. You're either living or dead. You boneheads are delusional and no different from humans.

>playing Light Souls
>Get invaded
>Gain all my souls and regain humanity

vampires are creepy as shit tho
pic related, this autist ALWAYS hangs out at the lich's door, mumbling something about "fucking skellies" 24/7

Look at this faggot in denial. You must just be a human who doesn't have the guts to become an undead.

SEE YOU FUCK
THAT'S WHY WE KEEP SKELLIES AROUND

Hey can someone watch this for me? I need to go fight some fuckers who entered my crypt, brb.

His grandson is a huge faggot though.

Paladin here you all are gonna be exterminated in the name of the lord

t.purgatory fag
I want purgatory fags to leave

Every god damned time. I thought you learned from gg but you fuckers keep getting swept up in stupid political activism.

Whatever you say TJ "Henry" Boo

Thanks for the calcium, faggot.

...

Eat shit skellie

>inb4 you just drank a phoenix down

I'd hurry up and drink some bleach if I was you

What ho, peasants. What is the meaning of this gatheri-

>phoenix down
>down
>as in feather

Goddamn you're as dumb as a fucking zombie.

And you are...?

I saw some qt human girl with "Made in Heaven" on the back of her vest and she gives me the rigor mortis. Should I follow her?

Heh, s-someone tell him not to cry over spilled milk. It'll be so humerus.

...

ahah no undead here, i am but a simple farmer who has lost his way, i better go back to tend those crops hahah

FUCKING SKELETONS

Stand back, before I cast doom on you even though you'll be able to smash me into a fine dust in less than five turns.

Does it count if I'm a phantom?

>This guy walks into your tomb
>Slaps your gf's ass for 15 bash dammage
what do?

he actually did it the absolute skellyman

>Be Poltergeist
>Hear something going on
>Think it's just another homeless man breaking in again
>See pic related
OH SHIT WHAT DO I DO

Are the cutscenes good in this game?

fucking palichads...

Nothing my good fellows, just some fellow Paladins doing undercover work.

STICC

>mfw you are ghost
>Mfw ghosts can't even transmit diseases
>Mfw you are confined to a house like some neet goblin

>mfw I just realized that there's a human inside of you

Is Yakuza Dead Souls fun?

>try to order vidya online cuz lolnoleaving
>accidentally posses computer
FUCK NOT AGAIN

...

Hey guys I brought my friend!

Why is he so perfect?

Flesh fag here should I research lichdom or should I just die and become a skeleton/zombie

/fit/ out!

Become a wizard if you can, and hook us up with some bone polish spells.

Honestly you'd be better off studying demonology, necromancy field is pretty competitive

That's fucking awesome.

Is he our guy?

FUCKING FLESH FAGS GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD GOD FUCKING DAMM REEEEE

blood type?
asking for a friend

t. not a vampire

>he polishes his bones
You know you'll go blind if you do that, right? Or worse, grow fleshy palms.

My Lord! I will protect you from the flesh bags!

Miller is the only character worth a fuck
in PW(only reason I played that shit), GZ, TPP and BB fags are pussies. Kiefer hit me in the feels but enjoy regardless.

AHAHA NICE MEME DOG BUT REALLY THIS FIRE IS STARTING TO SPREAD

If you've only been posting here for 80 years or less you might as well go back to necreddit.

Demonologe here necromancy and undeads are overrated demons are much more interesting

Get in, fleshnigger. Throwing you at the orcs.

The torture of our forefathers is not awsome

O+

Why?

Nigga go possess a water hose and put that shit out.

No Nemesis is our guy.

>skeletons
>we're total bros and basically come in armies
>demons
>willing to stab you in the back to release their imprisonment
>you're lucky to get 3 or 4 strong demons in your control
nah fuck off

Quit l-lying. Wait...NO FUCK OFF LIAR!

haha oh cool me too im also human and alive

say, how about we meet up? I can teach you so much about.. uh.. spells or w/e

Dude come on.

Dude come on we're all children of the night.

...

>Anonymous
Did you even pass your frost clutch spell exam?

>O+

>a fellow human
Finally !
Where do you wanna meet up lad?

Nigga, they did more than that.

>you now remember the Spinal laugh

Please help me I can't even rattle correctly all I can do is rock back and forth.

never forget...
youtube.com/watch?v=Co6d3h-NpS8

It would be really cool if we could meet up at the crypt east of town, say around midnightish?

I have to go there to collect ... mushrooms.. for a spell. yea.

Also, you're not religious are you? like, who even wears crosses on silver chains anymore amirite? haha

I wouldn't worry about it buddy

>die
>wake up
>turns out one of you niggers bit me
>can't even speak because muh lungs

H O W
O
W

Reminder:

If you are an ancient undead and you still watch My Little Demon...rez yourself

...

>liking a necromancer

I see the stockholm syndrome did a job on you

HADES
A
D
E
S

Oh no I'm not a religious man I mean who is one at this time ?

I'm heading out there see you there my fellow brother!

>there's a woman in our house shooting everyone

what should I do?

>not loving the dude that literally gave you life again

Did your mancer touch you or something? lol...

ahah cool man

afterwards i'd love to have you for dinner

heheheh

HEHEHHEHE

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

>He gently and slowly rocks back and forth with his boney face stuck in a painful and twisted contortion, almost as if he was screaming in agony whilst they twisted his form with the only thing accompanying him are his lamenting creaks
H-holy shit you're spooking even ME!

>Dude come on we're all children of the night

Fucking vamps can't even enjoy the righteous tentacle monster Nemesis. I'd give Jill my rigor mortis if you know what I mean.

picking up some lads after a party

is she cute?

Just walk towards her slowly and hope your brain doesn't get bl

Walk up to her slowly, so she knows you don't plan to hurt her and give her a hug. She's probably just scared, you know how humans are.

Sup guys! So I forget, when are we attacking the humans next?

Here is what you do,

Slowly approach her. Reach out to her with you arms out stretched and moan soothingly.

That should calm her down

>be phantom
>possessed some dead human as my avatar
>human happens to be extremely attractive
>chilling out in Vampire Quarter, used to be one of the funnest places several hundred years ago
>haven't been there for a hundred years
>go into bar
>every one is wearing leather, or sparkling
>they think I'm one of them because my avatar happens to be attractive
>zombies start laughing at my avatar
What the fuck happened?

Please don't tell me I have to find me I have to go to the Skeleton Quarter. That place is filled with shitty "Comedy Bars" where everyone only tells stupid puns all day long.
>humerus, GEDDIT?

8/10 Would bone

You're awfully big boned for a skelly don't know if I can trust ya in all honesty.

2nd year Necromancer here. To the skeletons: what the fuck guys. You had my back all throughout necro college. Last night I had my first real battle and when I summoned you guys, you never showed up. I ended up getting fucked over by some shitty pre-magi mage from some sissy wizardry school.

>tfw just a ghost and can't rattle anything

WHAT THE FUCK MAN

YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE A HUMAN

I'M NOT READY FOR BEING A FUCKING VAMPIRE

HOW THE FUCK CAN I GO BACK TO NORMAL

its 2 late
i giv u the SUCC of a lifetime

>all these undead

wew im going to enjoy smiting you faggots

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

I remember you. You double dipped your chips in all the dips at the last Rattlepalooza. fuck you

Why are humans so racist?
Do they actually think we look like this?

Never take Second Year of Necromancer school. It fucks over your spell book.

First year Necromancer here, I just quit after that.

>not finding the secret of unlife on your own

hahaha I bet you don't even have high calcium

Hey Casper, how's Wendy? I always liked that girl and you two were a good fit. It's been a long time since I've heard from Wendy like 18 years since I saw her last.

What the fuck guys, I just saw a ghost possessing a zombie. What kind of degeneracy are we allowing, fucking trans-fleshies.

so... have you guys played any video games lately?

You missed the part where you emulate the spirit and it's not actually a fucking person behind it you dip.

Being a Necromancer isn't fucking undead general, you're drawing life from the earth with a part of your soul and painting it with your own will.

Hey guys, poltergeist here. I'm getting kinda bored of spookan, any other ideas to past the endless time?

>not grave diggers

One chance.

whats that, a scar?

Wait -- what's wrong with possessing a zombie?
Zombies are all idiots anyway. They have next to no mental faculties and are only good for basic servitude.

Phantoms on the other hand are intelligent and have cool powers.

>when you realize her hips are narrower than yours

Cred Forums GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>pretending you're still alive

Disgust.jpg

>only good for basic servitude

Ghosts like you are why Zombie Lives Matter exists

As a zombie I miss the warmth of a human being. You think Jill would have me? How about Jessie?

That Frank is a real problem my fellows we need to do something about him.

i-im totaly undead i swear ;_;

AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!

I've got a BONE you can suck...HAHAHA GET IT?? BONE?? AND I'M A SKELLINGTON?! HAHAHA

It's like a parasitic relationship but both parties are the parasites

Ya'll heard about that wierdo Skellington obsessed with something called "Christmas"

i dont get it

What possible justification can there be for why Skeletons>Zombies in terms of combat mook prowess?

Once you're a lich it's obviously irrelevant.

Pic of skeleton feet on skull or get out.

You guys know where I can score some good souls?

HYDRO STORM

Are dullahans undead, or would putting my ghost dick inside one be betrayal of the underworld?

>The current year
>Still wearing robes

Nice dress you fucking faggot, this is what real undead wear

Abortion clinic.

GAS THE VAMPS. UNDEAD WAR NOW

Jack? Yeah he's been a dick ever since he scored that movie deal, fucker even got a videogame.

my camera is broken but i swear im undead, just earlier today i was thinking of how not-hungry i am becuase im not alive and dont need food haha see? totaly not alive

He said good souls

>pretending
I'm possessing a zombie, you fucking skelenigger. Rotting flesh and all.

It wouldn't exist at all if shitty first year Necromancers kept playing with their spells and letting Zombies have personalities.

>Phantoms
>Parasites
Skele please. I can interact with the physical world all I want. It's just annoying and easier to Possess someone. Finding humans to possess is too hard, so it's easier to possess some braindead retard zombie.
I could possess a skelenigger, but I don't want to damage my reputation.

We zombies at least can be fuckable after death. You ever seen a fresh zombie woman? Still a bit warm to boot.

I heard that one Chosen Undead guy has millions, talk to him I'm sure he'd give some up. Dude gives them away like candy.

They know no sin

Ha-WHAT?! I'm a skeleton, yea? That means I'm made of bones! Now ya get it? And I used bone in place of a dick, since I ain't got no fleshy parts.

Humans love wars.
>possess human on battlefield
>pretend to die
>collect all souls while you do nothing
That is, unless you're a skeleton. Then you gotta do it the hard way.

Dude I wansnt even there. I dont go to concerts.

Applying for the a position on the Board for Necromancy Regulation (BNR). They take 2nd year or final year necros only.

Except I DID do that that you cunt. I am a second year necro so I know how to use resurrect properly. Not my fault the skelefags didnt have my back.

>being a lazy undead

NEET's like you are why the economy is so fucked.

Werewolf here.

Now I know i'm not undead, but humans don't like us either, so lets be friends!

>literal rags
>every other draugr wearing the same thing
Do you even wash them? That's fucking disgusting.

Thank god Dullahans and Vampires have a sense of Hygiene

oh right yea i knew that hahah just messing w/u

Any alchemist here can brew me some remedies? I'm going undead hunting and wanna be prepared

More like, the economy is BONED!

WHO LET THIS FUCKING DOG IN HERE

GET OUT YOU MANGY MONGREL

I WOULD DRINK YOU BLOOD BUT I'M NOT A FAN OF SEWAGE

Monster club is that way;
We don't want you.

>Werewolves
Having to work with Vamps is fucking bad enough, so yiff in hell.

My potions are too strong for you.

YIFF IN HELL, MUTT

>werewolf
REEEEEEEEEEEE
GET OUT

Can we just talk about how retarded the series is called? I mean what are the alive rising from?

You're barking up the wrong tree.

Post some sexy zombie bitches. That Jessie is the only one worth a damn and those humies Jill,Claire, and Rebecca won't give a good zombie a chance. Just the other day Nemesis whipped out his tentacles for Jill and she wasn't even impressed, poor Nemesis can't catch a break.

...

From sleep, you dingus

Fur-real, what is he doing here?

Wait a sec I remember you. Same academy final year here. Of course your summon didn't work. You kept practicing resurrect the other week 15 fucking times a day. You really think skeles have time for that shit 24/7? Also you learned a ton of other spells why didnt you use those? Good luck getting into the BNR with that shitty record. FYI that armor is shit.

You disgusting creatures make this world a dying place, release the bond you hold on your last earthly ties and return your souls to the wheel or I will ensure that you will spend an eternity in torment before I spin you back into your destiny.

someone posts a story about fucking a living person.
Everyone calls them an edgelord.

Must be something wrong woof his head.

Welp, I just hung myself. Again. What are some videogames to distract myself from the crushing reality that I can never die?

Bitch, they have their own gang.

You lazy bones.

You learn that shitty pottery back in high school? Calm your edge, son.

Fucking eldritch fuckers always so haughty and stealing our jobs

What's this I hear about a wheel?

>see that pally turnin'
>you feel that light a-burnin'
>skelly now u learnin'

Eldrich faggots go to hell. No one cares about your bullshit anymore. Why do you think there is no games about you, but Undead are in tonnes of games.

REKT

>Studying necromancy

w2c vampire gf?

I have so much blood to give and no one to give it too ;_;

>sneeze
>someone says "bless you"
>take 30 damage

Wow thanks faggot

Fuck you Raziel.

You too Kain.

Well if you come a bit closer and abandon your old wheel I can put you in a much better one.

Homunculus here can I join the undeads?

What if skeletons could summon necromancers, then those necromancers summon more skeletons, which summon even more necromancers?

They got some fine ladies tho

Are Dullahan the DUDE BRO of the undead world?

I dunno man me and my buddies really like the wheels we have.

Go to bed, Franken

Tru, but dated one and they literally drove me insane. Sex was good tho

>dude bro of the undead world
KEK NO
Pic related

Worse than looking at a Werewolf

Skelly gangbang?

film it!

>Necromancers
You people are the most degenerate lot around. Consistently bringing us back from the undead realm sometimes while we're sleeping or even in the middle of a conversation.

Fuck you and your perverted 'craft'. Matter of fact you dicks dont even belong here. YOUR ALIVE

>failed science experiment wants to join the cool kids
fuck off, nerd

I think you can do that in Oblivion. Staff of Worms can reanimate any killed NPC, including necromancers/conjurers who can then summon their own skeletons and daedra

Should I get flesh? I hear they're more accepted by society, and are 80% more prone to getting rimmed by succubi.

Thoughts? If that's the case, fuck these bones. I'm about to call my local necromancer right now.

Getting a boner just thinking about it.

Why are so many fucking Sumerian demons coming over here? Humans used to be spooked by us skellies, but now they can't stop shitting themselves over Zuul and Baguul.

SUMERIANS GET OUT

Arator pls, you couldnt smite an undead kitten. You are a complete disappointment to Turalyon.
-Khadgar

>Applying for the BNR
Everyone in the BNR needs to be decapitated.

>regular skeleton
>top hat
>hypnosis arms ultimate form
>graveyard and skeleton hunter

I use the hat and hypnosis to convince everyone I'm human then if I get figured out I change into my ultimate form. 10/10 other builds are obsolete

>getting some shady necromancer to help you get flesh
You fucking retard.
Here is what you do;
>find Lich (more trustworthy since they're also dead, and they need to be registered, so it's all good)
>get him to separate your spirit from your body and turn you into a phantom
>possess whoever the fuck you want
I possessed a QT loli the other day. Told her mother to go fuck her self, then screamed some shit about satan just to see her reaction. Dumb bitch thought I was possessed by the Devil and used the wrong Exorcism. Fucking hilarious.

The wheel I'm offering encompasses the entire world. Wouldn't that be much better? Hey, why don't you get your friends in on this action?

Excuse me but I am a lich. I am very much not alive, in fact I am probably more skeletal than you would be even if you took an acid bath.

...

It isn't worth it. It degrades faster then you think.

...

My Mom Lich is letting me get a pet for our domain and I get to pick!

Choices are as follwings

1. Undead Dragon
2. Giant Spider
3. Giant Snake
4. Smile creature

What do undead Cred Forums?

Lich here, I can turn you for free

Hello everyone, Gashadokuro here, how's everyone doing?

>having shit taste

You're my hero. I wish I was big boned as well.

get a load of this fat skyscraper of calcium
why don't u go stare at some more humans u big bone ship

Nigga you huge.

You know what I mean. Just because necros summon us, doesnt make them undead. But oh wait why would you care. Fucking yuppie liches. Hanging out with the living and shit. FUCK YOU TOO

Stop blowing our cover you oversized fuck

Nice try, we've all seen that picture. Post a timestamp or GTFO.

STOP SIZE SHAMING

#UNDEADatEverySize

Post feet

OK so I just called up my necromancer to flesh me, but he wants all of my spoils I'm return. Here's the thing, I have a bold-eyed newt, and I don't want to give that shit up.

Some other skeleton told me about liches, how are they? Fuck, getting flesh is harder than I thought. I just want some succubi pussy geez.

Fuck this.

I'm gonna go play some TW Warhammer and skele it up with as many shitty steamworkshop skeleton mods that I can find.

Hey! I'm on a mission of good. Every day I direct more humans down the true path. How many fleshies have you converted to skeletons then, huh? Just because some liches only take the job because it makes it so much easier to bone people doesn't mean we're all like that.

>Being this assblasted by us
And? Last I checked you couldn't make any decisions. You know why? Cause your FUCKING DEAD. I'll keep resurrecting you as much as I fucking want. Matter of fact, one of your 'friends' is out doing my groceries right now.

>Implying I even want any of these living normies to become skeletons near me
And what exactly IS that mission of good? Freezing up poor and unsuspecting shitters?

Un-fucking-believable

Fuck off Carl. You've been dead for like 6 years now. Just because you're using ice magic to preserve your corpse doesn't mean you're still alive, although I don't know why you want to keep pretending.

Also they were out of Indian souls at the store, Chinese ok?

No. I'm trying to fix the immigration problem. If I cause a zombie apocalypse we can just keep all the new undead in the human world and won't ever have to deal with immigrants again.

>terrorising a local adventurers town (I'm a Dullahan)
>see little 12 year old boy
>he's a 20 thousand year old vampire
Man, Vampires are fucking weird.

..............its not even ice magic...........prick

>Tomb Kings STILL not announced

>Liches in charge of a zombie apocalypse
Yeah.....Id stick to freezing shit if I were you. Leave raising the undead to us.

...

>Necros, liches and skeletons.
>Fighting eachother

Come on now. You practically all need eachother.

We don't need necroshits. They keep summoning us to do dirty work for them and we ONLY do it because we want to go back to our normal routines as soon as possible. Fuck necros.

>Tfw all the qt skelegirls are going for chad hasadick.
>You'll never have a qt calcium container.

r8 my supply

How does she has curves if shes a skelly

>summoning us to do dirty work for them
And thats all your good for anyway.

RRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GET OUT GET OUUUUTTTT *RATTLE RATTLE*

Is he our guy?

She has prosthetic boobs and ass.

so basically there was a situation that was pretty funny but then it 'evolved' into multiple hours of running away from undefeatable monsters while the players complained until the GM put a stop to it

[spoilers]sounds exactly like D&D actually[/spoilers]

What's happening to me! Something inside me is becoming alive..
Explain you dead fucks!

Very nice, I rate it 0/damage.

g-guys...
i'm seriously freaking out right now
i think i'm inside a human right now as i'm t-typing this!

FUCK...
I-I'm literally shaking

Nercromancers make us, dudes.

Let's face it, skelly and necro have a symbiotic relationship - they're useless without us and we can't exist without them. We've worked out a partnership for YEARS now, let's not let it fall apart.

Probably just flatulence.. If not, welcome to the underworld.

that cheeky cunt with the hourglass in the bottom left

what a legend

We've all been there. Just wait until he falls asleep and then just jump out.

>Smile creature
What?

Eitherway, ghostfag here, don't get the spiders or snakes, they are pests not pets. Spiders make webs everywhere in the house. Snakes can still shit and will certainly do so. They do nothing but makes messes in my haunted abode. I'd say get the dragon, but that shit is magically pricey and they are loud as fuck, bones never stop rattling and they never stop roaring.

Actually, fuck pets. Just possess your anime figures or something.

...

heyyo what's up

Skellies love their hourglasses.