Gentlemen, how do we increase our productivity this year?

Gentlemen, how do we increase our productivity this year?

By not having the same useless thread every day.

No no Jenkins, we need something with far more eyeballs attached to it than that.

STARS! BLUAGH! STARS!

Start making 2 hour resident evil games for $20 and call them episodes.

kidnap Jill, Ashley, and Claire

Indeed.

Yes yes but where do the giant eyeballs come into this?

Not enough giant eyeballs in this plan.

By eating babies and stepping on puppies while laughing like satan and setting orphanages on fire! Just like all governments.

While wearing giant eyeball themed costumes

We came up with an idea for the enemy sir, here is the first draft.

Don't let women into a room with mutated giraffe. I warned you,

ITS FUCKING PERFECT

Needs more giant eyeballs though, We're running a fucking business here, people.

We haven't injected T-Virus into bears yet, have we? That might be worth looking into.

And then?

Bears only have 2 eyeballs though, neither of which are giant.

Idea dismissed.

G-Virus then? That shit makes eyeballs all over the place.

>G-virus
>Thing that almost fucking ruined the company

DELET IMMEDIATELY OR BE FIRED

You want more eyeballs, G-Virus is the way you gotta go. T-Virus just makes things huge and dead looking.

We haven't put any giant eyeballs on poison spitting plants yet. Maybe it would increase their accuracy?

G-Virus it is then.

So anyway, Greg got locked in the bathroom again. Could you swing by reception and grab the emblem, take it to the second floor, solve the riddle to get into the east hallway and then move the statues around to get him out? Thanks.

Depends. How many eyeballs we talking?

Also, will it spit poison that can be cured by blue herbs? Very important stuff this.

I've got it.

Equip various president's daughters with ballistic bioweapons.

How do any of these ideas hekp us sell umbrellas?

No no, make the plants spit giant eyeballs that explode into more eyeballs and those eyeballs transform what they hit into more eyeballs.
Eyeballs

>with ballistic bioweapons.

You're being given a disciplinary warning. We're running a fucking business here, and here you are talking about chest melons.

Get your fucking head out the clouds and start thing in realistic terms, please, or pack your shit and get out.

Now anyway, about the giant eyeball monsters.

Minimum of 3 eyes, poison 100% curable by blue herbs.

No no no, that would mean a massive hitbox that would absolutely demolish the person being spat at, with no real way to beat it.

For fuck sake Jenkins, we've been over this.

E. Eyeballs
N. Not difficult to beat
E. Eyeballs
M. Marginal difficulty
Y. Yes.

That's out philosophy on enemy design, Now if its a boss you're talking about, we can surely proceed.

Give this man a raise!

I got a great idea.
You know all those zombie dogs we got locked up in the warehouse?
Well what if we bathe them in glue, pour on a ton of Googley eyes and send them back out?
Even if that doesn't work out at least we'll have some room in there.
Maybe find out what happened to Jensen from accounting.
His family keeps calling.

I propose we team up with the Space Pirates.
With their smarts we will finally have zombies with tubes

>Googley eyes

We're running a serious company here, and you bring up some ridiculous idea like that? For fuck sake.

Now anyway, I've stored all of our documents and files in the lampshades. If you need to access something, just grab the nearest pistol and shoot the lampshade.

OK GUYS, SO LISTEN.

WE MAKE A VIRUS. WE'LL CALL IT THE T-VIRUS OR SOMETHING.

ITS USED TO MAKE "TYRANTS". GET IT, TYRANT-VIRUS?

BUT, LISTEN

THE VIRUS ONLY WORKS ON LESS THAN 1% OF THE POPULATION, TURNING THEM INTO TYRANTS, AND THE REST INTO ZOMBIES

NOW LISTEN

WE THEN DECIDE TO SELL THIS VIRUS

THAT HAS A 1% CHANCE OF MAKING THE PRODUCT YOU WANT

TO TERRORISTS

...go on

Sir I uh... dropped my gun. I tried to pick it up, but it faded into the background, and now everytime I try I can only observe that "There is a gun... It looks like it was dropped there recently."

fuck off reddit

Hahah! Got your gun now faggot! Now it's time to shoot some of these vases, I know you hide the good herbs there.

SO HELP ME GOD IF ANY OF YOU FAGS MAKE A SECURITY SYSTEM WITH A HOLOGRAM OF ONE OF YOUR KIDS I'M KICKING YOU IN THE DICK

Lets make another identical mansion for the 5th time

Except this time in ANTARCTICA

Make a 10 year old girl head of Research

Didn't we put Alfred on that? Or was it Alexia? I can never remember.

It's been done. On top of a building, maybe? That's pretty cool.

Under the ocean

Nah, the pressure would crush it. How about on an ocean liner?

Don't forget to make the shark tanks big enough so they can hold enough water so that if they break it floods the entire basement with water so that the sharks can roam the basement!
Eyeballs!

I mean we can use the G virus to mutate them, but why waste it on all those dogs.
I'm pretty certain STARS won't be able to tell the difference.

Guys I'm locked in the supply closet anyone there?

>Implying I'm going to move 5 fucking statues and collect a few emblems to get you out of there

Maybe you should stay in there where it's safe. There's THINGS out here!

H-hey guys

so heh-heh, could we like, clone Ada Wong?

Its not like I like her, or anything.

Do you even work here?

Errr, yes.