PORTAL MOVIE BY JJ ABRAMS COMING

I thought he was still making more Star Wars shit

>movies
>hype
the normie cancer is terminal.

Prepare for meme resurrection
THE CAKE IS A LIE!
THE CAKE IS A LIE!
THE CAKE IS A LIE!

>chell shoots the orange portal
>explosion as the portal hits the wall
>shoots the blue portal
>blue explosion as it hits the wall
>explosions as she enters and exits from portals
>there's a scene in the movie where she shoots the two portals so they're directly above and below each other
>infinite explosions
>the movie is just explosions for an entire hour

>videogame movie
>based on Portal
>directed by JJ Abrams

Oh joy, I can already smell all the cake jokes coming, along with sassy smart talking Chell

And rebooting the national anthem.

he only directed episode 7. He's not doing anything else. each movie has other directors

But dota 2 was in "beta" since 2011 and since beta keys were being handed out left right and centre it was essentially 2011

Csgo doesn't really count either since it was originally supposed to be just a css port for consoles that turned into csgo

Are you trying to turn me off it or onto it?

>>directed by JJ Abrams

It's not actually directed by him though, he'll only be the producer.

J. J. Abrams, not Michael Bay.

The portals will make lens flares.

...

t-thanks...

EVERYTHING will make lens flares. Even dark tunnels and the light at the end of it.

>Jew Jew Abrams

all hype is gone

And every shot will be cramped and not focusing on anything visually interesting, because movies have to be shot in the same way as TV series

Oh, that's considerably more boring then, and sorry for the mistake I'm not really a movie buff.

>hyping a video games movie

What's wrong with good story being made into a movie?

Are you guys that insecure with your hobby?

>Half-Life's spin-off franchise getting more attention from Valve and normies than Half-Life itself

Where did it all go wrong?

Game stories don't translate well into film. Also, JJ Abrams is a hack.

Episodic Content

youtube.com/watch?v=wo-9lBiUlCc

Hopefully this goes the way of the plans for Peter Jackson to direct Halo and never gets made.

The only problem I see is that Chell doesn't say anything. They'd never make a movie where you watch a silent woman solve portal riddles for two hours with the occasional commentary by GladOS. There's no way around it. They're going to make Chell speak and Cred Forums won't like it.

Wasn't he supposed to produce that Samurai Jack movie?

Portal = Mario
HL = Zelda

What the hell is that?

>getting hype for video game movies
you are the problem
just ignore it and if it's good you will hear about it

Does LEGO still make toys or is it just games and movies now?

>The cake is a lie xD: the movie
Wew guys I'm so hype

> normie
Spotted the normalfag

...

are you retarded or stupid?
the answer is both

n-no
it w-wont
d-delete

Holy shit, user was right!

He's a grade A sleuth!

>making a movie based on a game where most of its appeal is due to its interactive puzzle gameplay, maymays be damned

Absolutely fucking retarded. Hollywood kikes should just off themselves for the betterment of the world.

'Member Portal?

Member before Obama?

Portal has good writing, not a good story. Glados is less interesting when player agency is removed, since she won't be dynamically responding to your actions.

>watching SJWouth Park

DAMN. HOW DARE THEY SUPPORT THEIR PRODUCTS WITH GOOD UPDATES INSTEAD OF ABANDONING THEM AND CRANKING OUT A NEW HALF LIFE EVERY YEAR.

>SUPPORT THEIR PRODUCTS WITH GOOD UPDATES
They don't do that either

>female lead
>jew jew abrahams
drop it like its hot

IT WILL END ON "That was a piece of cake!" MARK MY WORDS!

Member portal?

>Valve and Abrahams will meet soon to discuss it
>Valve have been working on this idea since 2013
>Still to this day nothing really leads to HL3 ever being in active development

Fucking hell is it impossible to like these slugs anymore

more like killing their games with updates, i'd rather TF2 had 1,000 concurrent players and no hats and shitty added weapons.

whats the eta for it? less than 10 years?

Fucking finally, I remember reading about that like 5 years ago.

>Portal and Half Life movies

Fuck off, valve.

Feels pointless since the games already told a story just fine. Abrams directed the new Star Treks though, right? I liked 3 a lot and found the others decent, even if Star Wars was shit.

I hope they don't try to integrate gameplay from the games as part of the movie.
Just make it about the origin of Aperture and focus on good acting and good science fiction.
Who am I kidding...

>J.J. Abrams

This is going to break all records. This will be the new star wars.

Portal doesn't have a good story. 1 barely had a story and 2 was mostly just memes.

...

>Half Life 3 is announced
>it's a JJ Abrams movie rather than a game

>Valve doesn't talk about HL3
>THEREFORE they're not working on it

Do you realise that Valve always bullshited everyone about everything they did for the last 16 years? Remember how they said CS:GO was gonna have crossplay between PC and console just for fun? Remember how Gabe said he was working on L4D3 before L4D was even released?

Do you realise that they made a new graphic engine, and even an entirely new physics engine just so they don't have to use Havok? Do you realise that they're a private company and can do whatever the fuck they want, and don't have to meet deadlines because a publisher told them to?

>slugs
>Made more stuff in a few years than most companies put together.

Neo/v/ memelords are cringy as hell.

>weapon skins are content.

All they've done lately is create a shitty console that does nothing and a bad controller.

>Portal Movie
Neato now it can join the

>Mass Effect Movie
>Metal Gear Solid Movie
>Uncharted Movie
>Mortal Kombat Movie

In the "It's not happening" category

Dota had a full port to source 2 which kind of makes it new.

What are you talking about user?
In the last few years they made a graphic engine, a physics engine, an OS, a console, a controller, a VR headset+VR demos, and updated the two of the most popular multiplayer games out there.
>inb4 I don't care about these so they're irrelevant.

Not to mention weapon skins and skins in general are community made.

Ehhhhhhh...

The mortal kombat movie did happen.

TWICE.

HAHAHAHAHA XD LE CAKE WAS A LE LIE XD SO FUNNEH AND LE ORGINAL JOLLY WOKD KXNSNJENSN XD POOOOTID :DDDD THA KS BURGERLAND AMERIKEK IS RETARDED XR XIEN. SKDJENDNE AKITS SK MUHFB MUCH FUN AND THIS SNOE RIDE IN A ONE HORSE OOENS SLEIGH RNDMDMWNJDHJD. S S SM SLTO LEL LETS RUIN A LE GOOD LE FRANCHISE LE VALVE POOOOOOOOOOOO
X
D

X
D
C
R
FM
JJENDKSOI'M TO GET MY NAILS ARE AND I LOVE THE FACT IS THAT THE GOVERNMENT TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN MVK

>GET HYPE
I refuse to believe anyone that isn't brain damaged actually gets excited about game inspired films

There's supposed to be a new one that's been in development hell since WB got their hands on the MK franchise.

They had a director but he's going to do Aquaman now.

These are actually going to be good. Valve has already talked about making sure they're not attempts at direct adaptations, but rather telling side stories more suited to film. It most likely won't be Abram directing, either, rather Trachtenberg, who recently had his debut 10 Cloverfield Lane which was FUCKING AMAZING and clearly inspired by Half-Life to some degree, arguably enough that you could call it a 'dress rehearsal' for the real deal.

this
The Lab is fucking fantastic, and shows Valve still 'has it'. They legitimately could have fleshed it out just a little more (just some brief vague narrative, something to convey your being delivered to The Lab or awaking there, and then a brief linear puzzle segment at the end using the reward toys to finally escape), maybe charged some nominal fee to force media to cover it, and it would have gotten 10/10s and honorable mentions at GOTY award time.

It's another "let's announce a movie we will never make" episode. Fuck off

MGS movie was in pre-production when Konami had its meltdown, and could still bounce back at some point. Mortal Kombat had a fairly decent movie in the 90s (although I know it's divisive, I appreciated it as camp - it's really not a series that should be taken too seriously). Uncharted has had four good films already.

Deus Ex and AssCreed have their films well into production and on their way. AssCreed is probably going to meet mixed reviews and poor performance, but Deus Ex has a small chance to do decently.

Half-Life and Portal are the ones that really should make it big, if any (and Metal Gear, if that ever makes it out of production). They're just the right kind of franchise, with the right kind of rights-holders.

>so the cake really was a lie
>credits roll

What a truly awful idea in every way.

>GOOD UPDATES

Friendly reminder than all valvedrones are cancer

thats epic

>Uncharted has had four good films
Discarded. You haven't even played them because this meme is old as fuck and provably false.

>They're just the right kind of franchise, with the right kind of rights-holders.
I wouldn't call Konami the "right kind of rights-holders"

lmao

Hmm, didnt knew about that.

Maybe its for the best...

Or are there preprod sketches or something?

They are doing like the OT, each movie has a different director.

>J.J. Abrams

The Half-Life setting could be successfully used for a movie, but you should never bother trying to make a filmadaption out of a videogame.

I can't even imagine how a Portal adaption would work.

>JJ Abrams
>Video Games movie

pass.

If they're smart they'll only use the setting and have the story be moderately related to the game's content

Trying to directly convert a game with a silent protagonist into a movie is guaranteed to be a disaster

I can see it happening by breaking how the game played out (you were alone) and having other students be in the film (because other test subjects existed that left behind notes and evidence).

More like Half-Life = 90's Metroid

Does this mean Portal 3 in the future?

Good thing it's not an announcement. It's an announcement of the upcoming announcement ;)

lol no

Valve might make some more portal themed hats though.

It sounds a lot more promising if you think of it as an aperture science movie than just a portal movie.
I can imagine it starting off in the 60's with old aperture then going through the years and eventually into ruin. Possibly with a focus on cave johnson and caroline turning into glados.
If it's just mel going through test chambers against glados it will be shit

>yfw it's a biopic-like movie about Cave Johnson and the rise and fall of Aperture

>Cave Johnson is alive in a core cube
WHAT THE FUCK

>Excited about a video game-based movie
>Glados will make fun of Chell's weight
>feminists bitch
>Glados is nice and Chell will actually be fat and/or black
>Chell is too quiet, she needs to be sassier and "street"
>Aperture laboratories will become a safe space
>Casuals applaud Abrams for being brave

>jj abrams
>portal movie

To be fair they can make chell whatever they want. It's not like she has a personality in the games.

>we're running out of franchises to exploit, because making original IPs that stick is risky
>VIDEO GAMES

name one (1) good videogame to movie adaptation

nice its a good thing this is 2013, the last year valve made a video game, so I can't wait to see how this will turn out

Why must the Jew defile everything that we love? Why JayJay? He's ruined Star Trek with lens flares and the Kelvin timeline, and now he intends to ruin Chell and GLaDOS.

Dark times are ahead. There is no light at the end of the tunnel; only more darkness.

99% chance they (it?) will be directed by Dan Trachtenberg, not JJ Abrams himself. If you want to have some idea what to expect;

youtube.com/watch?v=4drucg1A6Xk
rottentomatoes.com/m/10_cloverfield_lane/

IMO we could be much, much worse off. People were already (positively) noting 10CLs similarities and possible connections to the Half-Life universe, even before it released.

A JJ Abrams HL movie wouldn't even be bad, but why Portal? If I had to think of a game that would translate like shit to a movie Portal would be one of them. It would have to be slow-paced as fuck, and both the normalfags attracted by JJ's name and the redditor meme-spewing Portalfags wouldn't take kindly to.

...

...

>getting hyped for this
Name me ONE video game movie that was actaully good

you browse Cred Forums too xD

Doom

Sonic OVA

what race is chell?

10 Cloverfield Lane

black

she looks non-specific to any race.
which idk why because most people who play it are white fucking males

Looks mixed.

she looks like various asian races blended to me
iirc the girl she was modeled after was japanese-brazillian

Cred Forums would have a meltdown if Portal would be released today.

kill yourself

Portal, you say?

Cred Forums would have a meltdown if portal was released today.

She looked Samoan in 1 but then they made her generic pretty white girl
Still surprised no one threw a shitfit over that

As far as I'm concerned Cred Forums is Cred Forums nowadays.

JJ "If its white, I will rewrite" Abrahamstein

Good thing chell isn't white you idiot.

DUDE

this looks white to you?

...

Yes.

Why now?

Portal 2 released 5 years ago.

what about her?

Looks like a man. A white man.

Interesting.
What about this one?

>le trailer movie man.

No thanks.

I watch your two Treks. They're not movies, they're....collections of scenes.

Everything JJ abrams makes is shit you idiot.

She could have fucking harambe's genes in her but she still looks white as chalk, dude

Another white man.

Ebin

you know the difference between tone and race, right?

If you look white, you're part of the master race in my book.

what about her?

good thing she have, yurk yurk yurk..

Absolutely delusional

ok. last one

Samoan

...

>getting hype for a Videogame movie

>most likely fiilled with stupid-ass memes to related to the nu-gamer

Get the fuck outta here, no body wants to see this trash.

Cred Forums and all of Cred Forums have always been Cred Forums
FTFY

>That's what Cred Forumstards actually belive

If you played or enjoyed Portal you are part of "le cake is a lie trolololol" faggots

Jew Hew Abrahams has never made a movie with a good screenplay. He won't even be able to replicate the humor, much less the meaning behind it.

Because HL3 coming 2018 at the latest as *THE* VR system-seller.

Also it probably could have happened sooner, but for both Bad Robot and Valve getting too busy with other things.

More like it's what newfags like to ignore.

>Newfag
I've been here since The Rock was cooking

Hahahahaha we did it bros!
Are you HYPE?! xD
I literally don't know how I'm going to survive without this movie in my life!

>implying VR is not a Power Glove-tier failure
>implying there will ever be a proper good VR game

Lens Flare: the movie

Thats pretty newfagish

Also, I supposed now with the CTR leaks everyone knows they were played like fools on Cred Forums.

Condensed plot of the leaks
>CTR admits they cant spin the minds of people who do it for free on Cred Forums and gives up on them
>CTR both falseflag as extremist Cred Forumsgoobergator and sjw tumblr faggot on Cred Forums and neutral boards
>People get "tired" of those awful Cred Forums people
>The middle ground they created after pushing the extremes to the sides, is now ignorant of everything and gets manipulated easily

If you hate Cred Forums because you are tired of them boardcrossing, if you think Cred Forums wasnt racist or misogynist before Cred Forums or if you are voting for Hillary, CTR did well their job. They played you like a damn fiddle.

>CTR
I liked the JIDF meme better

Don't forget the Spy Hunter movie.

Centre the movie around aperture's history bould be great. Something like :
45h of aperture history (with explanation on portal device), 20 min of glados ruling the facility (mayve with comedy, to introduce the character), 1h of chell blowing her up.

>Deus Ex movie
what?

Chell is now a sassy black woman, Glados speaks in ebonics and Aperture was some sort of white supremacy slave movement.

Hard to be a meme when everyone and their mothers saw the CTR emails that were leaked already

Mortal Kombat

you forgot to add the bioshock movie

its going to be shit

WORLD OF WARCRAFT

Chell was always black though
Nice try, stormcuck

done!

So Hillary was planning this campaign years in advance then, or what?

Mortal Kombat
Silent Hill
Angry Cred Forums Birds

you are wrong.

>Abrams

hasn't he ruined enough already? Why can't he fuck off?

CTR is a democrat tool, it doesnt belong to just Hillary.

Anyways, videogames

Absolutely cute.

>clintons are the most powerful clan in america
>trump is an old friend of theirs from the same elite neoliberal circle

really makes you think huh

mortal kombat were pretty good movies

fucking hate how south park faggot slang infects the social collective consciousness

on the bright side no one will be saying "member" in a month

Tetris the movie is confirmed though.

>Valve has already talked about making sure they're not attempts at direct adaptations, but rather telling side stories more suited to film.
[citation needed], please.

If they did say this then I have more hope the movie won't be god-awful.

>nightmare mode: good videogame to movie adaptation by Uwe Boll
Postal

He's coming back for the fourth Star Trek movie. Either he isn't directing this or it won't be happening for years

Hispanic

was the warcraft movie full of memes? I haven't seen it, but I heard it had some genuine references to certain npcs/items but no memes.

She wasnt black dipshit.
>WE WUZ CHELL N SHEEET

it was in the very original Gabe/Abrams talk where they announced the partnership.

youtube.com/watch?v=a7mihllgiro
probably this, but i don't have time to watch it all right now to make sure.

personally, I have no fear for the movies to be at least not-painful, because . Trachtenberg was hired specifically because he had proven his respect for and understanding of the source material, and he's since proven himself very well with 10CL (which really could have been in the Half-Life universe itself).

knee-jerk 'jj the jew coming to ruin another franchise' and '>videogame movie' are just idiots unconsciously memeing.

Wait didnt Gaben do an interview with JJ about why video game movies suck?

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

Considering that memberberries seem to be a big plot point I think people will be saying it until the end of the season

That was the best part of portal too.

>looks like she is 15
>is actually 20

Is there anything better?

What's the point? Video game movies suck, as do most movies in general. What's the reason to have your game made into a movie and bastardize the experience?

Portal doesn't have a story, it's just one puzzle after another.

And no, conversations here and there with Glados and ~~mysterious~~ writings on the wall isn't a story.

>tfw Half Life 3, the movie, has a better chance of coming out than the game.

>J.J. Abrams
nah

He's actually a good choice for it, because him and the source engine both put a fake looking metal sheen on everything.

>J.J. Abrams
>GET HYPE
That actually makes me less hyped. Why do they keep giving everything to Abrams? He's such a mediocre director.

yeah, banging you're mom

This is 100% canon

Yeah, if they're actually 15.

>reddit: the movie
>hype

no

reminder that the lead writer and level designer for HL2 both left valve and that HL3 will be shit if it's made

>Member no member?
Yeah, i member

ahhh, finally a movie for "US GAMERS!" Amirite?

Would be excited if it wasn't Abrams.

>implying I want watch 120 minutes of mute girl jumping around
>implying I want Portal ruined by some bullshit story, romance subplot, wacky sidekick, and JJ Abrams, hack known for making the most uncreative sterile blockbusters possible and cringeworthy forcing of memes.

>silent hill movie
>good

Don't derp out over words there, user :^)

>There are people who wouldn't want to bang Chell's half Japanese taco
idiots

What happened to the other director? the guy that made the short from that Internet show.

i like this video

First Mortal Kombat movie.
First two RE movies.
The Silent Hill movie got the atmosphere just right.

> videogame adaptations
Do you guys ever learn?

Each day we does the tell and 'member!

>YWN get a direct adaptation of the events of Half-Life 1, Opposing Force and Blue Shift

Starring Willem Dafoe as G-Man

It's a valid argument as a theme in the show, why wouldn't people start saying it?
I mean it points out exactly why we are getting all these lame adaptations and recreations... our plight of the nostalgiafags...