How would sex with a Turian work? What would his dick feel like?

Probably has a bird dick, but made of the same cardboard his skin is made of. He looks like he needs to go to the dermatologist, his skin looks so dry.

Garrus is awesome, Team Dextro to the end of time.

Yea, I just found it. The artist also has an FA account.

just fucken google it

contains shit you might not like

>cant romance Garrus as male shepard
Fucking bullshit. He even asks you to marry him on the bro-date at the citadel and it doesn't even give you the option to say yes.

>Team Dextro to the end of time.
Amen. All other squad-mates need not apply.

I really wish I could have seen the surprise on his face by answering yes.

...

I just hope there's squadmates half as cool as these two in Mass Effect: Inquisition. Doubtful, since Drew Karpyshyn left, so now its all SJW faggotry.

[s] I named two of my XCOM troops after Garrus and Tali. [/s]

ROMANCABLE FEMALE TURIAN FORFUCKS SAKE

Sauce?

That'd be cool to see. But she'd probably be a bisexual and as interesting as goddamn Kelly Chambers.

>Drew comes back to the company a year ago
>works on tor

Why

TOR is still around?

Mordin a very best
Legion is a top contender also
>tfw sometimes want to replay this game just to experience the characters again but remember the crushing disappointment of ME3

Garrus would totally be gay for mshep. There'd be no surprise, they just start making out on the spot.

>I just hope there's squadmates half as cool as these two in Mass Effect: Inquisition
Everything I've seen about this game tells me that's not going to happen. But we can only hope.

Mordin is definitely in the top 5 squaddies, along with Wrex and Team Dextro. Legion is beaten by Prothy "Airlock" Prothean for me.

Bioware is dead, died sometime before ME3, and only with DA:I was the coffin finally finished.

Sorry to say, but there is no hope for Mass Effect.

There's some new expansion which is what Karpyshyn is working on.

I can't believe people are still playing TORtanic.

Human squadmates a shit. Prove me wrong. Protip, you cant.

Zaeed isn't bad.

Pretty sure at some point the same place that sells dragon Dildos sold turian dildos

Who?

>Human squadmates a shit.
>Kasumi

Wrex + Tali best squad.
Prove me wrong.

I legitimately hope they roll out a female Krogan squadmate. Not for waifu shit, there could be some good character development based around how much Krogan men want/need to keeo their women safe due to their dwindling numbers. I know they won't follow through with that because it's too interesting for Bioware to put to use.

wrex + garrus

Probably the only good human squaddie in the series though.

I feel like Meat Thunderchest was also slightly underappreciated but that might just be because my expectations for him were so fucking low.

A lack of synergy. Neither has powers that benefit the other. Wrex + Liara is better.

Literally who?

You're half right.

You're also half right.

Actual best squad right here.

It actually became a decent single player game after they changed it so you get enough exp from story missions such that you only have to play the story to level up and don't have to grind or do sidequests.

This.

/thread

I would endure it for Garrus-kun.

That'd be a cool thing to see. But if they do that, then the female would be like Zarya from Overwatch.
>I AM STRONK WOMYN
New Bioware is SJW trash. We saw this with Inquisition, and it's gonna happen again, louder and more obnoxious than ever before.
>inb4 Traynor & STEEEEEEVE

Just hit ctrl+S in the quick reply box dumb butt

"Heheh, correct!"

These two have stuck with Shep through it all. They are the most loyal squaddies ever. They should be immortalized, maybe get a statue on the Presidium.

Fuckers need to get a life. Not that I'm complaining, but still, do something other than wait around for Sheploo.

I'm phoneposting, and I'm a newfag.

They seem to function well enough on their own. It's super cute how they get together if you don't romance either of them. But you're not wrong either. They seem to cling on to shep a little too much.

Ab Slabcake was surprisingly well-written for a New Bioware character. Better than Jacob, at least.

Look at ttthhhhhiiiiissssss....

I dunno, All the dialog said krogan females are too worried about their race dying off to go dicking around offworld and risk dying. I mean I guess if the genophage is cured it would make more sense but it'd be approaching the same sort of fuckery they did with qunari in dragon age inquisition otherwise.

>implying I don't get those sweet quarian curves

Garrus is p cute

Big McLargehuge wasn't really that well written though. All of his dialoge was just either "yo check it out loco aren't I super mexican" or "yo loco check out how buff I am" or the classic "yo loco I can't believe [story element] I can't want to [next story element]"

I did like his banter between that gay pilot guy even if both of them were pretty one dimensional though

I think he was actually pretty alright and I thought I was going to hate him at the start. But yeah, being a new character in the third part of a series where no one wanted to use humans for squadmates to begin with, he never had a chance.

>She's talking about his penis.

Agreed. Garrus is a loving husbando who deserves a good waifu. Just not mai waifu.

>TFW sucking Garrus dick is lethal for humans
Life is not fair

Garrus best bro
Tali best girl

Agreed. Garrus is good, but he'll never be as good as me. Therefore I deserve the best waifu.

thats what spacecondoms are for bro

>Somebody posted the real thing a few months back
>I haven't seen it since
Shame

He's still better than Jacob. Every character is better than Jacob.

Even Jessica Chobot.

You need to get out more.

>Even Jessica Chobot.
Oh come on.

Cuddly waifu.

Thanks user. I don't browse /aco/ enough.

lmao that nipple

I've fapped to this weebm many many times. I need help.

Jacob is interesting up until you actually get on the Normandy. After that he becomes weird and oppositional.

Goddamn I want to slobber all over Garrus.

...

I can agree with that, but I think that was just because of how distrustful of cerberus he was. He still warms up to you and doesn't act as weird, and he has an actual backstory with his dad so you get to know what he's like a little better.

Granted I think we would have gotten to know james a little more if bioware didn't phone it in with 3, but regardless there isn't a whole lot that's really shown about him. Other than that dumb tattoo scene I guess but all that really does is clumsily tell you he's going into the n7 program

Was it lethal? I thought it was that you might possibly be allergic.

His distrust of Cerberus had little to do with his aloofness.
>I dont like Thane because he is precise mercenary.
>I dont like robit because geth are evil, we should destroy it instead of studying it.
>My dad held captive an entire ship's worth of personnel for 10 years, yet I am not phased by it in the least.
He had potential to be kinda neat, but it wasnt really expanded on. Seems like he could've had an arguement with Thane, because father abandonment.

Gains McMuscle is pretty one-dimensional too, but he's pretty chill, and gets along well with other squaddies

Human Male companions in Bioware titles are usually the worst ones.
>inb4 Allistar

Oh come on the dad thing definitely phased him. And at least him going against the grain with thane and legion was interesting. I'd argue that james was a little too chill with the squadmates. to the point where there was nothing interesting about any of it

I will agree that the human male companions are usually the worst, with zaeed being the exception to the rule

[Carth looks troubled.]

as an addendum, I will also agree that jacob had more potential than what we got

That jaw... Jesus Christ

I don't think asari are supposed to have eyebrows either

justmegabecantdraw, king of sweaty garbage bags-balloons, fucking awful faces and sink-hole sizes gaping assholes with more wrinkles than an elephant's foreskin. with less creativity since he became a fulltime kike for commissions exclusively by the mentally disabled

>/aco/

Don't bother, it's shit. Bypass it and go straight to the booru boards

>/vg/ thinks this is sexy

>Implying you're not going to find his literally quads in your boipucci.

Only plot important ones like Liara have em.

With Jacob's loyalty mission, he doesn't change or grow as a character, which is what these loyalty missions are about.

>Miranda saves her sister, and during this, learns that relationships aren't all bad.
>Mordin comes to terms with his work on the genophage modification, finally having the justification that it was a neccessary evil.
>Zaeed learns that teamwork is important, and you need to put the mission first.
>Garrus learns the value of mercy and forgiveness.
>Grunt finds a cause worth dying for.
The only other squaddies that don't really change is Samaraor Morinth, and even then she comes to terms with her duty, and Legion.

>tfw your favorite artist falls into that unposted commissions and patreon only shit.

I fucking hate what patreon has done to the art community.

>Zaeed learns that teamwork is important, and you need to put the mission first.

If you're full paragon, you can teach them that the mission is secondary to saving lives of innocents too.

>/vg/ still talks about really bad video games.

>With Jacob's loyalty mission, he doesn't change or grow as a character
Oh, yeah I can agree to that. But I don't think james even had a mission like that. At least they tried to give jacob a personality, even if they didn't do that well.

And if we're no longer comparing jacob and james then just say so, because if we're just discussing jacob I agree that he isn't that great of a character.

Which is what the mission was, saving the plant workers from the Blue Suns. Zaeed's revenge was his motovation for signing up.

At least we can agree that they're both pretty awful.

We sure can, buddy.

Zaeed doesn't take that to heart though, he should actually be furious with you and doing it ONLY because there's a paycheck at the end. That's a universal hamfisted problem with Bioware games after Jade Empire, there are NO major consequences for playing "too goodie-two-shoes". Instead they make Zaeed all like...

>Yeah, no big deal. I'm getting paid and even though you don't care about my ambitions and wants. That you threw away my only chance to get the man that ruined my face, took my crew and fucked me to near death. I have no reason to respect you other than profit because you share absolutely nothing in common with me.

The paragon ending of that mission actually doesn't make sense.

Anyway, goodnight, it's been fun debating with you.

I didn't even think it was a debate bro. I just thought it was two anons having a nice conversation.

goodnight, user. I'm glad this didn't devolve into shitposting.

Is this a Bioware romance or what.

I should go.

I should GO.

I SHOULD go

So am I.

Even then, if you're only sorta Paragon you do have to make that choice, loyalty or the lives of some hobos. And he is pissed with you, but agrees to deal with it after he is done with your mission.

Besides, you can leave him to die if you do the loyalty mission after the Suicide Mission.

That's all for now.

Some other time.

Did you stick your dick in crazy?
Even once?

no because tali is and will always be my waifu. And I've kinda dealt with jack's kind IRL and it's never EVER worth it

For you

Yes, because my Sheploo is a horny bastard.

He marries Tali after the war is over, though.

Zaeed is too fucking awesome to kill. Even during my paragon playthroughs, I go renegade for Zaeed.

official ranking:
Garrus > Wrex > Mordin > Tali > Legion > Javik > Grunt > Jack > Thane > Samara > Zaeed > Liara > EDI > Ashley > Kaidan > Miranda > Kasumi > Jacob > James > Morinth

But Tali trusted you, and you gave her second hand space clap?

Agreed, Zaeed is a badass and deserves a warrior's death, not burning alive under a pipe.

Also, what is Zaeed? South African? Australian? His accent is familiar, but I'm not sure where from.

>javik that high
>kasumi that low

I think it's new zeland? Some other sources are also saying a "working class" english accent, but I dunno

Space-condoms. Also, magic future medicine.

OKAY SO

If sucking Garrus' dick is bad for your health
Wrex or Grunt

>implying you don't want to throw these primitives out the airlock
Javik is a dick, but a humorous one. Like mine.

Kasumi is sweet and funny, don't know why she's lower than the cheerleader.

He's a Londoner, so probably the latter.

Grunt. Wrex is too old.

Oh ok, thanks.

>betraying your waifu for damaged goods
Mom's gonna freak.

Which is why I don't romance Jack, she's damaged, too much work, and a total cunt. Someone somewhere might grow to love her, but it ain't gonna be me.

She offered, so I accepted.

What's wrong with him being older?

It goddamned good RPG to sink a couple of hours into, there's some mmo bit in it too. Really took a wrong turn making it an MMO.
>don't have to do sidequest
But there are a lot of fun shit in the sidequest, except the heroics.

Why would a Krogan's skin be soft like a water balloon?

His voice actor is Robin Sachs. (Who actually passed away.) He's from London, not sure if that helps.

>Who actually passed away
well that sucks

Nothing inherently wrong, but
>A few months old
vs
>roughly 1000 years old
I prefer the youth vigor.

If that was the case, why would they need armor?
To protect their plush posteriors of course

It does, thanks.

I WILL DESTROY YOU
YOU MUST DIE
GO GO GO GO
ENEMIES EVERYWHERE

I missed those enemy barks in the later games. They were so goofy.

They're not soft at all, they're goddamn walking talking turtles, fucking a krogan is like fucking a crocodile. Except the krogan has a massive cock that feels like sandpaper.

You do have a point, Wrex seems pretty set on the whole xenophage thing or whatever. Seems like he'd be able to teach you a few things, if he were interested in it, though.

>you will never save Nyreen
It hurts.

That's not considered canon, is it?

My favorite quote from him will always be...
youtu.be/jXDVWCR7jSM
At 1:17 to 1:30.

What do you mean "it hurts"? You got to talk with her for like 4 minutes and then she's dead. Who even cares

There is NOT enough female turian porn.

Oh, great, you pissed off Aria, now she just crushed a Sovereign-class Reaper with her biotics.

>Kaidan that low

My favorite is:

>"No one said you could talk, jackass."

The best team will always be Garrus/Wrex, though
A shame the possibility to kill Wrex on Virmire in ME1 permanently locked him out of any major contributions in later installments

>implying Carth should be higher

I don't even know what the fuck morinth is like. I just never thought betraying someone who's been cool to me and letting some bitch that tried to kill me on my ship.

Did anyone get her over samara? What is she like?

Yet those in those 4 minutes she somehow became a more likable character than 90% of the other squadies.

GODDAMN BATARIANS

Higher than the fucking tranny at least.

I got that Tali bishoujo statue while it's on sale and fully intend to cover it in glue.

>more likable than Garrus, Tali, and EDI

kys

She's just a generic bleeding heart pussy to foil aria's personality. She's literally a one dimensional character because they didn't give her any screentime besides "muh people"

Could you have sex in the rover down planetside?
Or with it?

At least, and always higher than Ethnic Meatslabs of Boredom.
Batarians are North Koreans in space. As such, we should go full fucking Crysis on those bastards.

The Mako is the toughest land vehicle in gaming history. Even after the Normandy blows up, it's still fine, albeit frozen in ice.
With.

At what point in my post did I mention Garrus, Tali or edi? Sandpie stop projecting.

Yeah no denying that. She legit only exists to be the paragon to Aria's renegade. Regardless, I still cared more about Nyreen and her plights than most of the other cast and their problems.

>more likable character than 90% of the other squadies.
Did you mean 90% of all the squaddies from every ME, or just 3?

Goddammit. I'm so fucking mad this team that is at Bioware is working on the new one. I loved the lore and background of the universe. If I could forcibly take away the rights and give them to another studio I would.

Why is it that when a great game with awesome lore comes along, any popularity automatically makes it become more casualized and bland? Fucking same thing happened to TES. Can't one company just keep some consistency for fucks sake. I haven't tried The Witcher yet, but I'm praying to Christ that the two sequals aren't shallow in comparison.

>She legit only exists to be the paragon to Aria's renegade
Well, if you realize that then I can't argue your preference.

All of the squadies across all 3 games. Personally I just didn't care for anyone who wasn't Wrex, Tali, Garrus, Mordin or Leigon.

Aria was retarded but the cool kind of retarded.

Nigs are way too hard on Kaiden just because he's a bit mopey. His character grows a lot if you didn't execute him in the first game. Don't know why anyone would pick xenophobe manjaw, moralfag cunt though.

Ok, my mistake.

Yeah, I agree with you, mostly.

>Aria was retarded but the cool kind of retarded.
Even if I liked nyreen (and I guess I did) there was no way I was betraying aria for someone I just met an hour ago. I like to think my loyalty goes a little deeper than that

>Biotic with effective weapons and shield-breaking bonus skill
I CAN DO ANYTHING

>hotkeying all of your and your squadmates skills
>playing all three characters at once with two options each for shields, armor, and crowd control
I CONTROL EVERYTHING

I think I only ever used my squad commands for Overload and *maybe* concussive shot

The game is simple enough that controlling everything is the best way to make it satisfying, and it allows you to crank the difficulty since you can optimally deal with shit.

>Loyalty
>to a space mafia boss lady who'd sell your ass in a heartbeat
Though to her credit Aria knows not to fuck with Shepard. Much to Shepard's dismay.

Yeah that makes sense. I think it's about time I try the insane difficulty anyway.

On a side note, I really hated what they did to shockwave in 3. I mean I know biotic charge made it obsolete because it was so fucking OP but still.

I like to think they both have a mutual respect for each other. And both aria and shepard know that if she ever betrayed him he'd just waltz through omega and her literal armies to fuck her up

>waltz through omega and her literal armies to fuck her up
Yeah, that too.

I need mod suggestions for ME3, already looking at Citadel Epilogue and MEHEM.

>everyone and their mother has some shitty romance subplot
>you can't dick the only female turian in the series
Everyone at Bioware deserves death

It's a short list unless you want cosmetic changes. Just sift through the ME3 nexus. also I think I remember you from the other thread

I take that back. There's a mod that lengthens the convo with anderson at the end, the one that removes that annoying scanner when you walk through a section of your ship, and I know there's one that adds in some cut content but honestly I don't know if it's worth it because you have to fuck with getting that mod manager and that MEexplorer thing and it takes fucking forever to set up.

Also when I got that last one I had to disable it for a little while because it fucked with my ability to recruit gabby and ken. So. Y'know. Beware.

ME2's squaddie combat dialogue was absolutely top-tier though. Too bad they ripped out literally all of it in ME3 and replaced it with boring generic phrases across every character for some fucking reason.

...

The last one's called ME3Recalibrated, if you were wondering

I'm sitting in /vg/ right now waiting for more responses, otherwise this is the first Cred Forums thread I've asked that in.
Those two mods are about as far as I've gotten, with maybe the Ashley restoration one. I'd be interesting in cut content but if it's a nightmare to set up, maybe not. Modding Oblivion was bad enough.
Is that Anderson one necessary with the Alt MEHEM? Not actually sure of the progression of the epilogue.

It isn't necessary, and since it happens before the end I'm not sure if MEHEM will interfere? I never used MEHEM though so I'm not sure.

And I guess the setup for the cut content wasn't THAT bad but it's kinda tedious. If you do, just remember to give permission to change folders/files in your me3 folder because otherwise the mod manager doesn't work right and it's a big thing. Not worth the hassle now that I'm typing all this out

...

Like getting your Uterus ripped out of your vagina since Turians probably have barbed dicks

Why do Japs make such kawaii versions of Western vidya. I would fuck that FemShep

Hot

>race of blue female aliens that can reproduce with anything, and only give birth to more of themselves

Given enough time, wouldn't they become the only race in the universe?

Don't they also do this like once in a century?

Asari are filthy parasites.

I saved her. She's happy now teaching gifted kids, and we even had a date on the Citadel.

I left Ash for her

hot parasites

Asari live for a thousand years but only produce as many kids as your average human does in their lifetime. By the time your typical Asari has had their first child the human is many generations down the line.

For an idea of the kind of scale they operate on, an Asari born about 1600 would only be settling down to have their two or three kids now.

Not if an Asari takes decades to reach sexual maturity. However that just means the Asari would go extinct since an unsustainably high number would die before adult hood.

Truly the best

what if turians have 7 vaginas, everyone with a different flavor and temperature? mlmlmlml

I'd calibrate it.

Don't Salarians have cloacas?

The fertile ones did. Even out of those there was still one who used it as leverage to become a pirate queen.

>you will never have an arrogant smelly krogan squadmate shoot his huge stinky load of warrior cream in your mouth

4 balls and they never ever get used. Why should I even bother living?

All organics should be punished severely.

...