Autistic things you do because of video games

When i run up stairs i like to make the sounds that genji makes when he double jumps

>tuu
>hurrr ah

I want to chain that boy back up, rough him up more, and pound his boipucci hard

>walk down stairs like Travis Touchdown in the intro of No More Heroes.
All of the day, bro.

>point my fingers like Ocelot
So I used to work at an asian restaurant, first job actually. All of staff was pretty cool, and seemingly surprised to meet an American with a modicum of manners and "non-American" traits (like no ice in my drinks, quiet, etc.). One day I was leaving and did the Ocelot thing to the sushi chef, he was clearly confused but somewhat amused. The next day as I was leaving he called out to me and did it back.

I want to be gentle with him, clean up his previous bruises, hug him tenderly, and then whip his ass as much as he wants, even leaving bruises in the process

...

Needs more punches to the face.

Please tell me that you are no older than 12. Jesus christ.

Come here every day.

I inverted the controls in my car.

Okay, but only if he's okay with it. We'll use makeup to cover up the blemishes best we can, so people don't get suspicious.

Of course he's going to be okay with it, he knows he must.

I pay for games

Needs more rough and sweaty deepthroat, fucking and kissing

>This picture was drawn by a 13 year old
>On DeviantArt

Is there a word for when you are shocked by something that you expected

I'm glad you people are alone

Once tried to shoryuken a kid in a fight.

Nothing as seriously humiliating as a sperg literally yelling "Shoryuken" mind you. I just went in for a jumping uppercut. I honestly figured it couldn't hurt to just throw myself into the punch.

Of course, what ACTUALLY occured was more of a leaping punch.

Fucking hurt my hand and because I was a shrimpy kid it didn't really do much aside from knock over and surprise the shit out of the kid I hit.

It got the predictable highschool reaction of everyone acting like I bodyslammed him, of course. "OOOOH SHIT"and "FUCKING DROPPED" and all that dumb bullshit.

Teacher showed up before the guy even got up. I still believe had he gotten up faster he would have kicked my ass.

I tap my fingers on my thumb like I'm playing guitar hero

I haven't played the game in years, and I developed the habit during an anxious time in life

It is an unhealthy obsessive compulsion

I'm not actually, but thanks for caring.

That's just adorable

That's pure autism

Well I consider a gf worse than alone so thats fine with me.

>gf
Heh.

There is absolutely no way that kid is 13 and has that much skill and proceeds to squander it doing tumblr-tier deviantart drawings.

Most likely he/she/xer/it is bullshitting for attention like the degenerate weeb xhe is.

I can understand as a one-off.

What I can't get is some retards like OP saying they walk stairs differently, or talk differently, or act differently because of a made-up trait in their favourite vidya.

gotta fight your sadistic delusions user

>gf
DID YOU JUST ASSUME THEIR GENDER/SEXUAL PREFERENCE

I tried running for a bus in London with a knife out so I could get to it faster.

posting from jail.

I thought that went without saying! Boy likes it rough. Which is why you kiss him after every spanking to remind him that he's loved.

>Not having fun with your gf who loves fighting games.
Step it up faggot.

You'll think of this moment when instead of playing fighting games you are just fighting with your woman because she is female.

Bullying is always fine when you how to make the bullied love you enough.

should have binned it m8

Punches to the face are not bullying and stockholm syndrome is not love though

Comfy as fuck.

>Oh also me and my sister would play "Real life maplestory" where our rooms were our inventories so we would just throw stuff on the floor and run to the room to retrieve/equip something then we would fight the pillows that were supposed to be slimes.

fookin cute m8

You sound like the type of faggot who can't keep a healthy relation. I've been with her for more than a year and yeah, sometimes we fight a bit but we're mature enough to know that understanding each other is better than spend the time bitching.

Maybe just not an axe wound fetishist

They are in my book.

your book is shit

Better than shithole fetishist.

>not using your girlfriends ass

Gay

that'a a girl stupid

Fucking rekt.

Seek help guys.

If it's consensual roleplay, then it's love, as your partner enjoys it enough to let you keep doing it.

Some people let out their sadism on willing parties, and that, truly, is the most healthy way of letting it out.

no u

Not for me or for him, and that's what matters.

punches to the face is not roleplay user
I either pretend something or do it

>Hardly any good looking femboys IRL that I actually have any chance of meeting

I wish I was memeing but it honestly kind of saddens me

Buttjobs are fine.

that's what 2d is for user

that and ERP

It is roleplay if you're partner is pretty fucking kinky.

>ERPfag
Absolutely disgusting.

My younger siblings used to play House in Smash Bros Melee at Hyrule Temple, setting time and lives to infinite. Whenever someone was misbehaving, they would be "grounded" by being thrown into the bottom part of the level where it's really hard to get KO'd.

I repeat after people in the form of a question like Snake does.

Sad indeed, great looks are always coupled with immature ass personalities too since they have to be young to be pretty.

Theres no winning here.

*your

Lower your standards, user. Some boys are VERY eager, and have great bodies, but because they don't have girly faces, they get rejected by a lot of guys.

Be their exception, user.

A cute face is a must, sorry.

>but because they don't have girly faces

If they wanted masculinity they'd fuck a bear, bruh.

This is actually a surprisingly good way of asking questions for things you don't know about. It shows your eagerness to learn, and prompts the other party to dole out more information on your behalf to make sure you understand.

The reason there aren't any is because they don't breed.

Boys can have feminine bodies and have masculine faces. In fact, most aspiring fanboys do. Fact of life

I wish you the best of luck, then.

When on a long walk, i imagine myself having a grappling hook and hooking myself forward to go faster. Occasionally it's Thors hammer

But in that case it just looks bad, instead of feminine it's just a manly/normal guy with a skinny body.

If I see a dead person, I automatically check the body for loot.

When I'm in the car and not driving, I'll stare out the window and play an imaginary game of sonic in my head, with him running along buildings and terrain and avoiding hazards and shit

These posts are always funny, you just know they head back to jacking it to the 200 traps on this site of which 99% is a normal/ugly faced guy with a feminine body.

You are infatuated with an attractivity only possible through smoke and mirrors.

Most traps are shit desu. Once you see their faces you realize there's nothing special about them and the only thing that made it kinda arousing was how they dressed.

I like to push buttons like Booker from Bioshock Infinite, by hitting it with the side of my fist. I didn't even like the game very much but that stuck with me for some reason.

Just stick to 2d.

I think the fact that they're willing to dress up like that says a lot about them to begin with. I feel like you're being a little harsh and overjudgmental to people who enjoy being lewd online for other people.

>says a lot about them to begin with

Yeah, that they are attention whores, kind of the saddest thing about it entirely, the only way you can see them already establishes that its not a good person. I know maybe only one exception

>Being attracted to feminine men
Is there a more pathetic existence? Either go full homo or don't bother.

Sounds more like desperate people to me instead of actual fetishists looking for fun.

I try being nice to women thinking it would raise their affection levels towards me.

Eh, maybe. There's definitely a mix of both, though. Don't lump them all together. Some of them just wanna be cute boys, and can you fault them for that?

as an aspiring cute boy, I would hope you guys would have a little mercy on me :(

That's actually pretty true.
I've met a fair number of fetishists who are usually pretty fucking normal and friendly IRL yet traps are usually lonely weeabs looking for attention with unbearable personalities.

>Don't lump them all together.

Entirely impossible because one pretends to be the other as their main activity.

So no, no mercy either, you are already drawing attention to yourself on purpose.

p
o
s
t

p i c s

I call everything that's an optional extra irl DLC. It actually caught on with my friends.

>yo check out the DLC for the burgers

>IRL
>3D women are not important.jpg

Some people are still attracted to femininity but can't get the real deal so they must go for the cheaper alternatives.

Guys could you please keep the trap love to 2D?
Because i do hate to burst some bubbles and remind people that 3D men look disgusting.
Also God will get angry at you and he'll make you apologize infront of everyone in heaven and it'll be super embarrassing!

Better dedicate your time to something better since traps only last for a couple of years, after that they look notably worse and you'll realize that it was a fucking waste.

Kinda funny.

>as an aspiring cute boy, I would hope you guys would have a little mercy on me :(

every >aspiring cuteboy i've met has been fat as fuck and hairy

you're either a cute boy or you're not

>he'll make you apologize infront of everyone in heaven and it'll be super embarrassing!
Thank you user

3D men are disgusting. Try to watch some of those trap videos showing men dressed up as a woman. The first time watching the video, the face looks okay but then the voice came out. Fuck, he suddenly looks like a man. Fuck that.

It's actually a pretty common thing in the Japanese language. The way questions are structured allows you to ask about something you want more details about without having to make a full sentence out of it. It's less common in English so Snake's way of speaking stood out as "weird" since they translated it pretty directly and he has a distinct voice.

Fair enough point. Sorry for being a bother.

Don't worry about it, i'm ugly af family

I'm glad I could find a nice gay guy who can love me for who I am, though I will strive to improve my image. Thank you for your concern, though.

True enough, though being in shape and well-groomed is something you can improve over time. Doesn't mean that will help me enough though

Well, aspiring literally means that they just want to be one, so why would you expect something else?

Back when I was a kid, I thought I was Link and pretended a clothes hanger was my bow. I even made a cute cardboard sword and shield and painted them like the ones from WW.

I know the type who desperately want to be a disgusting twink, but dude, you're 30 and you have a receding hairline. Stop fucking sharing 'gay and fabulous' memes on facebook

>Want to believe this
>Lizard brain reminds me that if I don't nut inside a fertile woman or at least something feminine i'm a failure
>MFW

the gay-by-thrist people like you always face a harsh reality after fapping to pictures and webms for weeks and then realize that theres actually sound and even smell involved with banging someone and HE will sound and smell like a man

>walk up and down stairs like Snake from MGS2
HAHAHAHA

I used to be in a relation with a traplover, he always hated it when I implied that I was tired of crossdressing. Soon after I realized he just wanted me because traps were his fetish and didn't cared that much for me. I really hope your guy isn't like that.

keked

>not taking hormones in your 20s so your hair doesn't recede and then killing yourself at 30

>taking the step from 2 to 3D.
Too late to tell you not to do it but just forget about it ever happening.

Why would someone desperately want to be a disgusting twink?

But I know his feels, closing in on 30, twink body with my aging-baby face. Though nobody knows of my faggotry

Truly a man of taste.

Also I talk to my games and things that I watch. Mostly to insult characters for doing something stupid, or sometimes if something neat happens I will comment on it.

>bitch at Ashley constantly in RE4
>other examples I can't think of right now
I just know there are a lot of them.

>thread has devolved into traps and guys talking about twinks

Cred Forums is so gay.

I've been on this site for 6-7 years now, when do I turn gay?

On day 1. Sometimes it just takes time to catch up.

the guy hadn't come to anybody yet. he wanted to be that kid in high school or college, but that opportunity was long gone. he didn't get that he had to inconspicuously slip into the role of getting-older gay man

Homo is a sliding scale, bruv

Also:

>devolved

Look at the OP image and tell me that cunt didn't expect this garbage

I don't really get it honestly

>Look at the OP image and tell me that cunt didn't expect this garbage
This. It was oretty obvious from the start that OP was a faggot who wanted to attention whore about his trapshittery.

I'm a sperg who can't lead a conversation for more than 3 minutes because I've spent 99% of my childhood and teenagehood playing videogames so I have literally zero social skills. Lately I've been trying to get better at talking irl but damn it's hard.

Indeed.
Lucky shitters must know that being gay with Cred Forums is a lot more fun than trying to be seriously discussing vidya with Cred Forums, and still better than generic shitposting with Cred Forums

why not try talking to people outside like you're talking to someone here?

just without telling them to fuck off and calling them faggots constatnly

When I'm playing BF4 I turn my microphone on but I don't use it to talk to my team.
I talk to myself in a Snake voice about the things going on around me in game.
It's a good way to practice his voice.

Not vidya related but when I make an important post on any thread and I know I'll get counter arguments I just close the thread for good because I'm a fucking pussy.

...

That is quite a pussy thing to do.
I usually glance at the 1-2 one-liner tier responses and then close the thread.

What the fuck this is off topic we were suppose to be talking about traps

Fuck off.

And then trapfags wonder why so many people treats them like shit.

>reload animations
good to know I'm not the only one

it's just a cute tomboy.

>I also talk to myself aloud when I'm alone, mostly reinstating shit I'm looking at to dumb quips.
I often read shit out loud or talk to myself like a character from a point'n'click game. Can't help it.

i do that some times

I keep bottle caps.

nice

i occasionally reload batteries

question, huh?

I punch elevator buttons.

I've started pointing my fingers like Ocelot, realize I'm about to do it, then change it into finger guns. Once you do something ironically long enough as a joke you just keep doing it

i want to cuddle him and make him feel better

They'll just grow up into a weird looking fucker past 25, same deal with trannies. Women at least can last until 50.

Fuck you.

Cute boys grow up into cute men, you just don't have the eye to see it.
Trannies on the other hand are inherently weird.

i want to beat his faggot ass up then fuck his faggot ass!

Jesus christ traps were the worst meme ever.

word
cute boys > traps

I mean, if you're gay or bi then sure go for what you want. I think if I was gay I'd want a fellow gym goer and we could be buff homos together. I find it hard to respect twinky guys.

you dont have to respect me to dick me

Not him, but actually I do, and I wouldn't do it without it.

Which is probably why I never really look at 3d trap porn, theres just no way these people could make me respect them.

it makes me sad that traps want to be treated like shit

Sometimes I blurry my vision to simulate Depth of Field.

Sometimes I get really cross at multiplayer videogames and slam my head into my desk.

Usually that's just a capstone on a shitty day at work or some other thing, not the vidya itself.

Straw that broke the camel's back etc.

Occasionally I've bled from doing it so I should probably stop before I give myself brain damage.

Yeah I kind of do. I've hooked up with girls I hated because I was drunk and it's not worth it.

>simulate Depth of Field.

Its sad that this actually applies

Not vidya related but whenever I'm really fucking bored but have to look like I'm atleast "present" thats usually my game too, unfocusing my eyes and stuff.

Sometimes I go through entire meetings at work with completely unfocused eyes

Reminder that talking to yourself is your brain trying to tell you that you're lonely.

>no ice in drink
That's subjective as fuck, some drinks suck ass without ice.

Until we ragers find a better way to vent our anger user, I suggest you alsoget one of these

Really helps with not hurting yourself.

When i'm driving to work I quote warcraft 3 units and try to mimic their voices

I also try to pretend im a raid boss and make quotes for all of my abilities/phases

H3y yall

Every time I play some fps or whatever, often war thunder too when smoke is obscuring my vision I blow at the monitor trying to clear it out.
I love doing it despite being absolutely retarded.

Me too man. My dick is also so sad it's crying.

>When i'm driving to work I quote warcraft 3 units and try to mimic their voices

Ohh shit my nigga, I don't drive but I definitely do this sometimes when nobody can hear me
Honestly thought its the kind of thing you'd never share with anyone

>tfw no handsome Cred Forums guy to make me his bitch and choke on his cock under the desk while he plays videogames

>why not try talking to people outside like you're talking to someone here?

That's the worst advice you could ever give.

Hurting people is dumb. Never will understand why people like doing it. I mean if they're willing go right ahead but you'll never catch me doing it. Cuddles are the best.

>It's a 'I'm a cute trap!' when in reality I'm a skinny bony guy with a dress episode
Just stop embarrasing yourselves, you will never look remotely passable.

>tfw no Cred Forums friend to play video games with and use my mouth as an onahole while they play video games

Now that you mention it.
Sometimes I do that hand movement Ezio do when he release hidden blade.

Is it possible to live to 28 and being a productive member of society without realizing you are autistic?

how old are you two faggots?

it may not be too late. I've found multiple people through this board

>tfw no Cred Forums friend with whom to play video games while using their mouth as an onahole

>when in reality I'm a skinny bony guy with a dress

No amount of reactionposting is going to make you look more like a woman, I'm sorry ugly-kun.

I regularly clear my house like it's some sort of vidya mission when I'm home alone, if I was healthier I'd probably do some max payne moves but I really like my air pistol so I don't want to fuck it up.

This, I get off on the domination of weak things, not the femininity.

I used to trap on Cred Forums and had people send me money and video games. True story.

And then I got scared and stopped when one of my friends found a picture on my computer of me in lipstick.

i'm not a trap/cuteboy or whatever you think i am

did he fuck you like in my hentais

...

Not a trapfag or anything but when my friend applied some makeup to me and straightened my hair I was told I actually look pretty convincing

Make up does fucking wonders

Not when you apply it like some cheap hooker, mind you, but when you actually put some time and effort into your appearance besides a wig and some Fucking thigh highs and panties you stupid fucking faggots, put some effort into it you lazy attention whores

you can roll with it

>haha just a joke bro pretty funny amirite?

then you notice your bro getting a boner and you ask him if he wants you to be Konata for him. don't you know how this works?

post pic, you cute faggot

>i put makeup once and I look pretty convincing
EVERY.SINGLE.TIME
You didn't, stop deluding yourself.

So? that doesn't mean you looked decent, they were just faggots paying to an attention whore.

You are me.

We just laughed awkwardly.

He did jack off in front of me a month or two later. I was too scared to do anything though so I just watched. Big regret.

Always go for it anons. Always.

was that ever finished?

There's a GoldenEye 007 death animation where you drop to your knees before falling flat on your face. It's badass.

Used to imitate that shit all the time as a kid.

>I used to trap on Cred Forums and had people send me money and video games. True story.

Honestly I have 0 difficulty believing this.
Cred Forums trap threads have degenerated at the speed of light, they literally think trap = tranny, meanwhile even the worst obviously-weird-angled shots of a 35 year old grizzled men get attention as long as there is an atleast some-what de-haired ass and some inkling of feminine clothing

And its not even that they are fags liking men, its just people so extremely thristy that they have no standards, not even when it comes to their fantasies.

I already said I'm not a trap you homo, I dont have makeup just laying around to apply to myself ya dummy

Also I said PRETTY convincing not totally. My big nose gives it away

I wish we were still autistic and edgy instead of fake and gay.

he's lying

Fuck you.

you're joking. he whipped out his dick in front of you, hard, and you didn't go for it?

what do you need, a written invitation?

...

Why don't you just date FTM?
They make the cutest boys, and have feminine frames.
They still have their vagina in most cases but you can ignore it.

Ah, the good old days.

...

Because theres 1 FTM to every 5000 MTF

Also vajajays are shit compared to dick.

I hate smalltalk. It's always fucking smalltalk.
Even being a friendless neet, meaningful conversations aren't hard because you're not fucking LOOKING for things to talk about

Why does he turn into an Asian grandma?

Smalltalk is like the handshake of a conversation. You can get a feel for the person and move towards more important stuff.

If you just started talking politics or something with me out of the blue I would wonder what the fuck was wrong with you.

I hold my arms in front of me like I'm in an fps shooter

I always use "you can no uncoompa me!" As a battle cry when I play games or just get excited. I even got my brother to start doing it.

imagining the pretty boy getting his boypucci fucked makes me hard

>tfw you finally got over yourself and now feel comfy in what used to be the awkward silences happening because you hate and avoid smalltalk

I mean it can still get awkward from time to time, but its so rare in comparison. When theres nothing needed saying or we have nothing to say to eachother - I won't.

>everyone just wants traps or trannies in rainbow stockings
>nobody just wants a regular cute boy

Plenty of guys want that. Just not here.

the patricians choice

when you're good friends with someone, the silences aren't awkward

cute boys are better desu

U N F I N I S H E D F O R E V E R

Because trapfags don't want to face the fact that age will turn even the prettiest into ugly dudes.

Though it's a sweet comic so I don't really want to shit talk it

Yeah, which is why you also never really do small talk with your friends, those aren't the situations I'm talking about.

Though I have to say I don't think I have close enough friends for that anymore

>tfw a cute boy will never look at you like this

I do, its just not worth mentioning because you get swept up and confused with all the trap/tranny loving fucks.

Also if someone on that side were to post we'd all just label them a trapfag attention whore too, so theres really no point.

...

Way too hamfisted for me to get any feels from this.

>tfw could have had a cute boyfriend
>didn't realize I was bi at the time and missed the opportunity

fucking end me m8s

Another case of acute realized-too-late, I see.

He looks tired more than anything. What's good about that?

Bhop is faster you faggot

Post pics of your sister

>tfw you were pretty boy
>everyone in a 50 mile radius was either straight or fat
hopefully someone rails me soon, my years as a cutie are numbered

Spastics, huh?

you can fuckoff to double chan where cuteboys used to have cuteboys and now its full of disgusting attentionwhores like you

You were never bi. All of you faggots are mentally ill or pretending so that the odd person will talk to you. Two of my friends suddenly became transgendered in High School and you fuckers are literally pretending, or you're indulging your fucked up brain's sexual urges (which you can ignore, you perverted faggots)

>implying it wasn't always full of that

May have started on a low key note but it was always just about that.

youtu.be/Vi3B-2bNU-I

Everything could be described by "indulging your fucked up brain's urges".

But yeah its a fad, very weird too, though I have to say I'd have enjoyed this a lot more if I was young when it was happening

Alright user. Tell me about why you're so hurt.

I don't care for rainbow stockings or other stereotypical shit, I just prefer effeminate is all.

Looks like we found the closet homo, fellas
>indulging your fucked up brain's sexual urges

You tellin' me ya like dudes, user?

...

I did too. Now I'm 22 with two bad knees.

I should've listened to my parents when they told me to knock that shit off.

What's your stance on Futa, user?

I think muscles are ugly.

>9gag

>physical manifestation of effort and work
>ugly

You are gayer than me.

I take things I find lying around that seem abandoned because I think I'm in an adventure game where anything could be an important puzzle item

>Muscles are ugly

You pathetic fucking faggot, I hope you die when the world comes to an end and governments no longer control man

>want to be fucked in the ass
>want to fuck a girl in the pussy
>not bi

Good for you. I think twinky dudes are gross and I'm not even gay. They're just little weiner boys. At least try to be a man. I work out because I think a well muscled body looks far better than the alternative and if I was gay I'd probably date another gym rat.

Why is Cred Forums so gay?

When I'm alone, I say things that are obvious out loud.
>goddamn its cold
>whew, another day at the office
>hmm better get some more milk
>"SHANIQUA WHERES MY FUCKING COFFEE" when im sitting on the computer in the mornings

I also sometimes repeat lines from vidya or movies.
i mean i am a voice actor so that makes it less autistic right

Muscles are more of a preference when it comes to physical attraction
Sure females are predisposed to finding muscles attractive, but it's not uncommon to hear males coughbetacough like it otherwise
I get what he's saying. I too would only really date a guy if he was particularly feminine. I'm also not big on body hair.
Just because you're not you're attracted to them, doesn't mean you can't admire and appreciate muscles for the work that goes into them

it's not gay if it's cute

>I will never be a girl
>I feel disgusting

Pick one.

THIS
I can appreciate that someone's tough and worked hard at building up muscle. I just don't find it personally attractive. Skinny effeminate men are cute.

>wow nice car dude
>WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU COMING ONTO ME DUDE
>wait what? i just said nice car man
>FUCK MAN IM NOT GAY YOU FUCKING HOMO

so unsure of your sexuality that you cant appreciate a little appreciation of other peoples hard work?
were you the kid who waited that everyone left the locker room before taking a shower?

no wait you were the kid that never showered in the first place

im not gay i just want someone to use my ass as a meat toilet

If you could appreciate muscles for what is implied by them or their aesthetics you wouldn't call them ugly.
Just not be attracted to them.

the person who could legit call them ugly and I'd believe them would be women, trannies and that one insecure trap-wannabe user that made that comment

You know you can still be a fem twink with some muscle on you, right? Skinny-fat shit is disguisting.

You are the kid who is too new on this site to even get the post he failed to understand but did reply to

Voicing your thoughts isn't really autistic.

This, skinny fat is the worst.
Boys who can be toned/muscly and still be feminine are the only 10/10

ugh

I once knew a girl who said she didn't find muscles attractive. She ended up losing weight and as soon as she was more attractive she dated a jacked dude that hit the gym regularly.

Go figure.

You are already using your ass as a meat toilet user, just start with using your mouth as one first.

dawww

Maybe that guy had a nice personality. Or maybe he was rich?

Right, right, well yeah in general I wouldn't believe anything a woman says anyway.
But there are actually chubby chasing good looking women, so I can believe it.

I'd rather someone be thin and lanky than have muscle, honestly

I feel as if you and I are kindred spirits.

One day, muscle will reign supreme and skinnyfats and THICC (FAT) will die off.

When I take off my clothes at the end of the day, I sometimes realize that I was dressed like CIA all along.
It's really worrying.

I used to do this all the time as a kid, my friends and I thought almost half the shit we found lying around was super cool and would totally be useful at some point.

He's a good dude but not rich. Point is she said she found muscles gross until she had the body to get them.

Fairly rare though. The last girl I was with said she wouldn't be able to date another chunky guy after being with me. I think some people think muscles are rock hard all the time or something.

Aim for the (semi) swimmer's body type or just stay skelly, and die like a weak bitch. I have a very fem face, because of my mother's slav genes, and I still can kick some decent ass with adequate glamour.

I say "Time extended" or "Checkpoint" when I go through a green light without stopping
When I get a speed powerup in a non-racing game I say "YOU GOT BOOST POWER!"

Sure its terribly rare, but I can still accept it from a female since they grow up thinking being a lazy shit who cannot do anything by themselves is normal and thus never obtain that respect for muscles.
But a male grows up completely aware of just what it means to be visibly muscled/ripped/etc, atleast the average.

5'11" 110lbs
>tfw nobody to hurt me and eventually put me out of my misery

I guess I'll just play video games and try not to think about it

Hm. Not sure I agree. Most guys I know have never seen the inside of a gym and have been doughy or skinny-fat their entire lives.

dude eat some food

>110
isn't that abnormally thin? Please take care of yourself.

That is exactly why they are aware of it.
If muscles came by easily they'd have them.

I have shitall for muscles I barely look like a swimmer, knowing what I did and what muscles I developed from it is telling of how difficult they are to build.

>tfw ywn help a depressed user have a purpose in life and then beat the shit out of them if that's their fetish, and not a suicidal tendency

user, being that skeletal does not look good on anyone.

Only slightly.
He's not too far underweight. He needs about 10 more pounds on him. I know because I have pretty much the same body type as him, but am slightly shorter

I'm 180cm for 53kg.
I live it just fine.

Ottermode is pretty good though. I'm only a bit bigger than otter myself usually but I prefer that look so I don't really bulk too often.

pure autism

It is, and far too underweight, you are ridiculous.
Also how do you know his body type?

>tfw 5 ft 7 and a half
atleast i'm taller than my dad....

Yeah I like it too, its what I'll be aiming for for the next 10~ years or so. Hopefully soon by actually swimming.

Thank you Hitler Jesus for not making me in a filthy woman

>women who regularly go to the gym are less needy and entitled and generally more fun to hang with
>lazy shit women who never work are fucking cunts who have nothing but looks for them

Not saying it's an absolute truth, just an observation I've made with the people in my life. I would think lazy fucks would be more chill but it's never the case

well by virtue of being shorter, you shouldn't look like a bone warrior. If this guy is looking for someone, to beat the shit out of them or not that person will be looking for something a bit more meaty

I'm 5'11 264lbs
Used to be 211 and swole. Now its all flab.

That's very logical, 'cause the gym in this situation gives them a chance to burn all this toxic, sperg-energy.

>over at sisters place for a few days while she is away
>found dildo an hour in but not really interested
>decide to raid panty drawer and maybe wear something cute she has
>almost vomit upon opening it, every last panty is stained even though they are clearly washed and 'clean'

women are dirty creatures, I'd rather put my dick in a shithole, literally

Unrelated to games, but the most autistic thing that sticked was me picking up any objects with just two fingers and sitting weirdly like L from Death Note. I started at ten and it followed me and it's a fucking habbit now, fuck.

As for stuff I do, I look behind myself a lot ,out of habbit there may be something.

I am scared of corners and I always approach them with caution.

That's kinda it.

Entirely reasonable.
The gym requires and nurtures discipline through routine and effort.

stained as in yellow, brown or red

My 65" inch TV is on a movable TV Stand.

When I sit on the couch I have to get back up several times to adjust the angle of the screen so that it is 100% percent pointing at me because my couch is at an angle to the screen.

I will get back up four or five times to make sure my viewing angle isn't avem a single degree off from pointing directly at me.

I don't. I just mean as far as weight/height goes
Use this:
nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm
Its only slightly underweight

the brown/red of bleeding, but it doesn't matter if you know, it was repulsive

we should play video games. do you like smash bros?

>the brown/red of bleeding
hot desu

1. BMI is an entirely worthless statistic
2. Even counted by this flawed ass metric - he is still underweight and not just slightly

What man is 50kg?

A boy.

Past 20 years old - a man-child.

Even manlets get heavier than this.
No man is 50kg, children can be as you say, or someone with a serious disorder.
Plus I can only imagine, I'm 6'2" and 150lbs, with his stats I'd be afraid of a heavier door.

>Chef Excellence

Mah nigga

DELET THIS

BMI is useful for populations and a decent guideline. It's mostly only useless for really fit people and they obviously know they're not overweight.

...

Its useless in any situation where you are not using a big sample size.

Sure it'll generally overlap with the actual data, but it'll only be able to tell us clear information in outlying cases - like this 180cm tall underweight skeleton, because no composition of the human body will make him less a skeleton with this weight.

do guys do disgusting shit like this?

okay, got it, no more pls

We have entirely different concepts of how a manchild looks like I see.

<

Somehow all the un-hygienic cum-related business I've ever done in my stupid youth and also heard about is not as disgusting as that.

Use my foreskin as a semen sack before disposing it in the bathroom.

not really, no

But I actually actively fuck men and women senpai

Have since highschool

>being balls deep in the puss puss with someone balls deep in me
>feces so currency

why is that disgusting?

IDK, its the grossest thing i do.

DELET THIS
E
L
E
T

More

i'm the guy who asked
i did that too

>It's an "All the female posters on Cred Forums are pretending to be gay men again" episode

hey thats pretty good then, you arent a disgusting animal like many people here

GET IN THE ROBOT SHINJI

why is he sitting like that
is that like just unfortunate timing?

barely maintain eye contact and cut off social interactions for days at a time

Man, if theres one thing I'm sure about, is that I'm not talking with females in this thread

Its the #1 option after having tissues in your room.

cum isn't really even disgusting, most of the time it's actually a turn-on.

I will never know this feeling as my parents hated me and cut my dick

I know, but when i do it i feel so un-hygienic.

Why not just cum in your damn hand?

>GET IN THE ROBOT SHINJI
will the robot make me a gril?

t. retarded Cred Forumscuck

Sometimes when I run up stairs I grunt like Link

And all those people in steam threads are 100% Japanese 12 year-old girls.

You know the feeling you get in your cheeks when you blow air into them? Imagine that around the line on your dick except weaker.

when you go deep enough

I really hate touching my cum.

That's basically doing your job pro bono
You should send the world a bill, make some bank on those freeloaders
heh, pro bono

>tfw femmy twink boys always seem to be hung
>tfw insecure about sub bottom having bigger dick than me

I say vroom when playing racing games
For a split second my fingers will move in an attempt to revert to save after fucking up (usually after my nightly run of The Library)

you wish you fuckin faggot! Does your daddy know you want to suck his dick?

No user, this
is those threads.

You'd have to be delusional to believe this thread is filled with any kind of women, not even fat ass fujos or anything like that.

sometimes i sit like the characters in fallout new vegas

gays deserve death

did a gay person steal your bike, haha nerd

That's just normal kid stuff.

this but also you can't be sure everything will land on your hand

If they're the bottom, why care?
Just give a reacharound and be glad you're not the one getting fucked up the ass (unless you like that too though).

I also do this, I just feel it's a pain to let jizz just get everywhere or in my hand.
You could say I should use a tissue but even that I feel is impractical.
Mind you I wash my junk thoroughly everytime after but still, I can get why someone would think it's gross.

quite the opposite. thanks for the bike though

>TFW no cute, girly submissive to violently take out sexual frustrations on and then leave a sticky, sobbing mess in the corner while I go back to playing video games.

What's even the point?

I never do that, too much of a mess, its not like my hand can contain it well or anything.
But then I never do the foreskin-bag thing either, sounds like it would be a huge damper on my enjoyment if I had to carefully pinch my dick "closed" right at the moment of ecstasy

Also cumming all over my belly and chest and then seeing it is amazing, every time I wish I could take a picture of it but shitty phone shots don't do it justice...

...

Is this cosmo?

Finger guns like Ocelot

cosmo was never a cutie
not with those teeth

Because it removes some of the domination when your sub's dick, the most masculine measure of a man, is larger than yours. I need my trap to have a glorified clit, user.

>tfw I found him legit cute with longer brown hair before he went all clown-tier in makeup

Tried it, hard to clean, nope.

Whack a cage on it then you fuck.
You know why that argument is shit?
Because you want to be dominant while this insecure about the details.
If you'd actually be as dominant as you think yourself you'd have no issues like this.

Ok. I can kind of understand that.
But wouldn't the sense of domination be increased by "conquering" someone bigger?
Genuine question, I'm curious on how that faggot-shit works.

>Autistic things you do because of video games
Drown myself in fantasy so I don't have to face the fact i'm an adult

Also its really easy for me since i have a ridiculous excess of foreskin

>Drown myself in fantasy so I don't have to face the fact i'm an adult

Something we all do cannot be autistic...right?

Well even then it doesn't sound too comfy. Do you ever just let go just to get to feel it?

Honestly with the amounts I produce these days and my penor I couldn't that if I tried.

In the end over time I gotten rid of anything that needed me to "get ready" for the finale, like having to get a tissue out.

>Talking to yourself

For the longest time whenever I suddenly change direction, I would make a little "screech" noise you'd make in Animal Crossing. I don't anymore but I still hear it in my head

>Autistic things you do because of video games

I started doing 20 jumping jacks each time I'm alone and nobody is watching... all because of The Division

I still hate fags

I do the "sack" thing like 70% of time i never feel like im sacrificing any pleasure.

Sometimes when traveling/waiting etc and I find myself looking at light/shadow playing somewhere and realize I'm thinking about how good these damn graphics are.

I do this but with Tony hawk skateboarding on everything

Female Tomoko poster? Hmm...

I do that, but im more like appreciating the beauty of the world we live in.

Well its that, but theres a distinct difference when I'm thinking about it as graphics, not just visuals.

ahh gomen gomen

sound plausible

Improving yourself isn't autism, it's pretty much the opposite

"pretty boy" was just an ironic nickname, she was a girl all along

I do this. When I hear a song in public that's from guitar hero I'd start tapping the notes on my leg or my phone.

they adopted a kid and there is no homo in the last panel

I think he thinks that improving yourself because of videogames is what makes it autistic.

Again, though, that's not true.

I had a game with my dog where I put on the mgs4 soundtrack and walked around like metal gear rex. The plodding and strafing really fucked him up and so he'd try and stop me from running around the house making machine gun noises

yay

>do not attempt to start flamewars

Posts like this make me glad I'm circumcised

get off of Cred Forums then

>fucking huge ass comic
>that punchline

saved

I bet you posted this while being white-hot flustered and tearing up

Will admit did laugh.

i make a lot of hand movement when I talk thanks to assassins creed

>tfw 5'5"
>110lbs

I say Age of Empires 2 quotes (You know, the dumb ones from online) to myself occasionally.

Same here user

w-wanna play some games together?

Because of MGSV, I explain things like Kaz and Ocelot do in the tapes

I also sit down like Snake does when he's in the chopper.

Just fuck already

I wish ;#;

Tfw 1,50m 45kg
all the kids think im kid too, I cant express my power of an 18yo
kill me, they literally ask me which class i am
also i have a gf so no homo but shota thread ?

I'll randomly quote metal gear out loud regardless of company
I'll say "you're pretty good" like snake when the situation warrants it

>I talk to myself
I'm pretty sure everyone has or does do this

You're just like me, except I'm 5,73... And I don't have a gf because I suck.

that's not so bad, I do the same thing, also in movies like a nigger

>tfw >2metres
>skeletonmode
>hairy as shit
>face that can't be mistaken as female
>really good looking ass, squeezing it is gr8
>all I want to be is a small cute boy so I can be beaten up
why is life so unfair

>5,73
Holy shit, I meant 1,73.

I wish I was smaller so I could find a tall girl to roleplay /ss/ with. Silver linings anons.

Don't give up user,and if you do just say to yourself that relationships suck cuz you can get depressed too :)

>be 5'3 110 lbs
>shave sometimes but never motivated
>face is okay
>squishy ass
>all i want is to be 6 foot so i don't get bullied for being basically microscopic
i got bullied all through highschool for being short as shit

cute

>tfw 5'5" with cute face and body
>got manhandled constantly in highschool by all the taller guys
>pretend to fight back but secretly loved it when they grope and lift me up
>become best friends with the tallest guy and we still hang out to this day

Literally me right now and no matter what I do I can't gain a single pound.

please
PLEASE
take my body
you can work out with it it has a great metabolism and when I cycle regularly I get good legs
I'll do anything give me your short genes and bones

>All these cute smol user that I'll never crossdress with

Feels bad

if only, too bad reality is harsh and cold.

>tfw thought about going trap but so hairy and ugly i don't even wanna bother

>no taking turns with anons applying make up and trying on dresses
>no sweaty orgy with all the cute anons
>no taking breaks inbetween to argue about videogames
>no love-filled group cuddling afterwards

I blame the normies, fuck this gay earth

same
im not even that tall im only 5'10 but not many girls are taller

self confidence boost general

I want to be him

Sometimes i press and tap my fingers to a song like in guitar hero or move my jaw or fingers to a melody to the ocarina notes in OoT

HAIR ON MY BALLS
HAIR IN MY ASS CRACK
FUCK SHAVING THAT EVERY WEEK NIGGA

That's an edit.
He was never a girl though

Nair is fucking magic

are you aware that bi and "trans" are different things?

It smells tho

>nair on balls
that shit would burn

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!

>every week

I just do it pretty regularly so I keep the shaved look, and it's easy to maintain when it's not a fucking jungle.

Just hop in the shower, get your scissors and razors, and go to town. Remember to shave down and not up and don't be afraid to go after the balls, they won't get nicked so long as you don't go sideways like a retard. Having a shaved sack is honestly the best texture on this god given earth

But what about my crundle and my asshole?

>1.50m
>45kg
>18 years old

You are an asian girl or you're lying about your age, I have never meet a single man this short/thin.

not for me
nothing burned except when i got it in my ass

did he ever give an update in the next issue

So was it worth it? Where's the update?

reminds me of this

>crundle

What is that, yer taint or somthin'? It's actually a lot easier than you would think and while you may think there's a lot of hair down there, it's actually not that many swipes from a razor, surprisingly easy

>bootyhole
Also pretty easy, don't be afraid to get in there, you won't cut yourself so long as you shaze in a normal motion. Start where the hair begins and go outwards from the asshole

For my taint, I haven't noticed any irritation in any direction, but I usually shave towards the sack

>that pic
Oh fuck me, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. My throat hurts now.

Holy shit at least I feel less autistic as well
>Whenever I hurt or injure myself I make vidya like pain groans
>Every now and then I like to immitate pre canned death animations (mostly shooters)
>Attempt to mimmick fighting game stances (I swear I can do MK3 Cyrax perfectly)
>also am a voice actor and done motion capture for some animations and games
>got caught by roomate three years ago when doing that
>"Dude I was rehearsing for a character"
>I don't think he ever bought it

How do I become a qt trap/sissy/cuteboi?

I like this a lot

>also am voice actor and have done motion capture

Hey hey hey, whoa, back up. You cant just drive past that without giving some of your work examples

Makes me kinda glad that official types browse this place, even if they churn out doo-doo dogshit

Drink semen every day.

...

you'll like this one then

I really like this one