It's somewhat apparent that God Hand was meant to be a joke on many levels...

It's somewhat apparent that God Hand was meant to be a joke on many levels, much as a film director might intentionally make a B-movie. The game practically encourages button mashing, enemies are extremely generic, the level layout is very uninspired, the dialog and jokes are poorly written and delivered, and most of all, much of the control and gameplay mechanics are so old-school it hurts.

One of the major problems with the combat, and God Hand on the whole in fact, is that the camera is stuck directly behind your character and you're unable to freely control it. Where you walk is exactly where it points, so enemies will often come up (or even appear) behind you, and this can be extremely annoying in a crowded room. On many occasions we finished off a handful of enemies only to have new foes appear directly behind us and take us out. The right analog stick acts as a dodge button, so since you don't have a block of any sort you'll be using this often, but because of the poor camera you'll often perform backflips into nearby walls.

Enemy design is extremely generic with demons and such that reek of early '90s arcade brawlers. While some of them have varying combat skills, like being able to quickly hop up when thrown to the ground or an affinity for dodging, you generally just run at them, punch away until they're about to attack and then flip away in cowardice. Rinse and repeat.

The bottom line is that God Hand quickly becomes a boring, annoying and frustrating game. Why should you be forced to try and complete a level with no starting health when you have no hope of survival and will just need to reload a minute later? What's fun in fighting the same annoying demon creatures over and over again when the fight was old the second time you tried it? Why, oh why, did Clover Studio put so much money into such a risky joke, and why did no one see that the joke didn't have a real punch line at any point in the development?

the quintessential meme game, of course Cred Forums likes it

Thread hijack

ITT: Post games that should be mandatory to beat before posting on Cred Forums

OP already posted the obvious one

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It's fun, God Hand is a game made for pre-existing fans of this sort of thing, trashy but fun games where you hit a lot of people
somebody didn't use the minimap, buy moves, or know about health bar upgrades
I hereby revoke your man card

t. ign

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Is unlimited saga actually hard? Or are the mechanics just poorly explained?

I want to fuck that bird.

>you generally just run at them, punch away until they're about to attack and then flip away in cowardice. Rinse and repeat.

the definition of mad cuz bad

Unlimited SaGa is just plain bad though.

God Hand isn't hard though.

Most of these games aren't hard either.

The situations are not even dumb game scenarios; they are like bad hallucinegenic daydreams of a game. Everybody is openly gay, everybody is screaming, boxes explode, giant fruit replenish health. Remember; Gears of War‘s bloody circle is ‘mature’ and an ‘evolved mechanic,’ while fruit and a health bar are ‘outdated’. This is what it’s come to; the videogame medium’s penis envy of other media has finally made it insane. Now, it’s freaking out and telling people a growing red circle in the middle of the screen is somehow different than a simple health bar differential. Remember when a thousand journalists giggled and whooped at the GDC news that Halo 2 would have dual-wielding? This – and that – is what God Hand is up against. That sort of person. This sort of world. Where Oblivion is a ‘rich open world’ (it isn’t), where Viva Pinata is ‘fresh and innovative’ (it isn’t) and every bit of marketing double-speak passes for some semblance of a movement forward. You may remember this classic from the release of the Tribal Game Boy Advance SP: “We feel we have created a product in the Tribal Edition that reflects the sentiments of today’s youth – rebellion, attractiveness and spirituality. The new console allows gamers to express these emotions in a fun and interactive way, enabling them to communicate their individuality.”

Yet nothing pulls you away from the central conceit. It’s one thing done forcibly, powerfully, incredibly right. It offers an alternative where only certain things matter. Where you know you’re in front of a painting looking for the strokes and streaks. Where the only way forward in life is through the fighting mechanic it has taught you to fear. God Hand is a tilt to an essentially dead people; a game built from the ground up to reward a pre-existing obsession with punching men in the bells. It will not be anyone’s first computer game.

Both. You'll probably have no idea what anything does without studying text FAQs or watching youtube vids for hours. While the enemy encounters hit hard and are very frequent.
Once you understand everything its still a really joyless experience. Because of shit like what hexagons you get at the end of a mission (the only way to power up your characters) and whether or not you craft a good weapon is 100% RNG. Wouldn't recommend.

Why is that cover so shit

What is hard?

This *unzips dick*

YOU'RE NOT ALEXANDER

>The situations are not even dumb game scenarios; they are like bad hallucinegenic daydreams of a game. Everybody is openly gay, everybody is screaming

Cred Forums - The Vidya

I'm Alexander the Great!

after beating it sure it isn't.

naw man, First Encounter blows that one out of the park.

He's such a sexy man!

I'M BRUTAL AND RUTHLESS

La Mulana isn't mechanically hard though, its "try a different autistic variants or just a FAQ like any sane person" hard

but the movement and whip attack pattern are fucking shit.
also, boss fights are literally bullet hell, and Lemeza moves like a fucking retard.

>unzips dick

Late to the meme show, friend

>mrw I have a copy of Nine Breaker in my dusty PS2/PS3 cabinet

go back to twitter or r9k

Games like these are boring if you don't focus on getting good at the combat. That means mastering cancels and thinking up nice combinations that look good.