Does Mario only see Peach as a friend?

Does Mario only see Peach as a friend?

Do you see yourslef as happy?

He's gay, that's why he sounds so faggy

He can't be though since he's always throwing Bowser just for being gay.

She makes him cake. If not for that she'd be nothing.

But really, do heroes NEED to be friends or husbands to princesses? They save them because it's the right thing to do, not because they're horny.

He's all up in that ass!

Mario clearly enjoys the journey he goes on, he wouldn't sound so happy when doing athletics otherwise.

Plus, who wouldn't be happy using power ups like his?

Mario sees her as a reason to go on adventures and kick ass

Peach is taken.

Super Paper Mario made it seem like it was the other way around

Mario doesn't care, they're just good friends.

So long, gay Bowser!

Who knows, he's friend zoned at the very least.

But they are friends.

He's deep in the closet.

She clearly paused there because she didn't want to tell a stranger that she's a slut for his Italian sausage.

has no one considered, in the span of Mario's 30 year lifetime, from the first moment the internet was used for petty conversation instead of important government correspondence to now, that when he goes to have a cake maybe they fuck afterward too?

Oh wow, so it's the other way around then.

She's a coalburning slut who fucks turtle men, Mario has too much self-respect to fornicate with that disgusting mudshark. Saving her is just his job and he makes a lot of gold coins doing it.

But why would she be ashamed of that?

Mario is the one who friendzoned Peach and it physically hurts her that she can't call him her boyfriend.

She's always trying to bring him into her life and win his affections. He just wants adventure, friends, and cake.

And Daisy.

because Mario is 24 years old and looks like that. Do you want people to think you're fucking that disgusting thing?

Manly and handsome as fuck with the best mustache to ever exist? Yes I would.

Isn't there a theory that Rosalina is the daughter of Luigi and Peach?

Fuck off Matpat.

So, your just going to ignore the time peach kissed him in mario 64 huh?

He a manlet tho...

>Peck on the nose
>"LOL THEY WANT TO FUG"

>He a Manlet tho

I want to hold hands with Peach!

This guy gets it.

Why would he have cake and then fuck her?

The cake was spiked.

I dunno man if I went though all that trouble to save a woman I'd at least want to get a blow job out of it

Because it wouldn't look good if everyone found out that royalty has been sleeping around with a plumber, the lowest of low.

>Trouble
>implying Mario isn't having the time of his life throughout levels

But plumbing is the family business, Mario's accomplished in way too much shit to list otherwise.

Hasn't other royalty wanted to fuck Mario?

That theory has existed long before your beloved e-celeb's e-show.

>Take all kinds of performance enhancing items
>Finding money everywhere
Fuck the people that say Peach is willingly getting kidnapped. Mario is probably paying Bowser to do it.

Peach who?
Mario canonically marries Wendy, pic related, nintendo aproved.
Luigi loves some dick btw

>kidnaps a hot princess and gets to spend time with her for a short period
>gets to have epic battles or beat the shit out of an enemy he go karts with from time to time
>gets paid to do it

Bowser's got it made.

Maybe they are both into size difference and size change stuff. You know what mushrooms in their area do to people. One gets a Mega Mushroom, one gets a mini mushroom.

Best guy gets best girl, fucking nice.
It's feminine dick so it's okay, like sucking off Vivian: not gay.

>runs about doing as he pleases
>collects tons of easy money and drugs
>never actually does any plumbing
Just like a real unionized plumber.

Is there a conspiracy?

source?

Now that I think about it, do you think there is a mushroom armory or something within the kingdom?