Programming Memes

That could of been created in javascript with a for loop and added to the html page. But when you view the page that's how you see it.

But why wouldn't you just ask them to enter the number into a single text box is beyond me.

>tfw Java code written in 2016 works on a laptop made in 1999
>mfw most programming memers have never actually written systems software in C or Java and have no idea what a technical wonder the JVM is
>mfw poor abstraction patterns in C, C++, C# show up in codebases constantly and Java's "standardized wacky abstraction" meme pales in comparison to bug-ridden, repeated real life implementations in other languages and the JVM is the most reliably portable platform ever built

Post the others

These legitimately convinced me to learn some stuff to understand the funny.

How can you not understand that?
The heck are you even doing on Cred Forums?

Am I the only one who noticed that they're not even getting values from the array?

Dragon?

It's a kite, no?

>these

the format, numbnuts

There was some idiot who made webms of all of the best ways to input this sort of information but I saved none of them.

I dunno where it comes from but in my language it's not a kite. We call it dragon.

>numbnuts
suicide yourself right now goober

>goober
numbnuts yourself right now, jerk-wad

Israel maymay

From a Fizzbuzz thread.

le devops meme

OC do not steal

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You've forgot to add that if you hold your dragon a bit other way, your dragon crashes with segfault.

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Okay, here we go

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He is the hero nobody wants or deserves.

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Wish those books existed for real.

Favorite one.

seen all of these, please post some new shit.

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dumping memes

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another meme. logo should have been wojak

Go ahead.

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I actually used to write code like this

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>Haskell isn't on the list
Should be at the top desu

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>Breaking the Web
Indeed.

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what the FUCK am I seeing?

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Ingenious but annoying and time consuming

Python glue code rivalling that of MSI's application of thermal paste

if I remember correctly it was supposed to
>use Tesseract OCR to read text from screenshots of habbo hotel to get comments
>do a bunch of replacements to fix 5 instead of s etc
>feed the text into the pyborg chatbot
>use manual win32 api keyboard events to type the text back into the habbo hotel chatbox

there is some twitter API stuff in there too but I forgot whether it was used

>jerk-wad
goober yourself very soon sad guy

...

This was a great meme.

tfw I actually really really liked haskell.
And then I saw how haskell does IO.

t. I cannot into monads

(I/O is nasty shit which you don't really need anyway)

tfw all I wanted to do was use a text file as input. I saw how disgusting it was and gave up forever.

what happened then

Just use interact and ./haskellprog < file.txt :^)

I can't tell if this is fake or if these guys are just next level memeing

What is that and how do I get the text on the bottom left?

This is actually ingenious

Does anyone have the pic with a drawn fat bastard complaining about languages like python that force you to use whitespace and nice formatting. Next you see him write some multiple curly bracket hell in a single line and says "Beautiful!"

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back to Cred Forums

Less vunerable to injections i guess

this is great

Wut?

Can you show a non haskeller an example of this hell?

I think you're missing the point of those.

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probably the most clever one

What's the joke here?

why?, i want north korea to nuke them.

then usa nuking north korea back and finally have a apocalyptic future killing or become atomic waste aberrations.

Sadly it might not be fake.
When I was creating a website I often had to search "how to do X in javascript" and whatever I searched, people recommended to use a 20-50 line script in jquerry.
It did what I wanted but I didn't want to use jquerry for, what I though, should be simple to do in js, and I always ended with a 3 line script in javascript.

I understand why the web is so fucked up now

it brick your phone.

>cock

>some perl/assembly mashup is considered perl

>timothy goatse

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s u c c

This isn't a rage thread.

>External Logging Framework

This is so truthful it hurts.

because most programmers aren't capable of understanding/utilising the power that is OOP

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back to /r/eddit

>writing Perl with embedded ASM

that's actually pretty smart

Even threw an exception

>web development with assembly

>that's actually pretty smart
reeeee Cred Forumset out

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Just divide 1 by number b and divide a by that number

>tfw Java code written in 2016 works on a laptop made in 1999

Every language "works on a laptop from 1999".

>mfw most programming memers have never actually written systems software in C or Java and have no idea what a technical wonder the JVM is

The JVM is pretty good. But so is V8 (for JavaScript).
Also why do we need a VM again..?

>mfw poor abstraction patterns in C, C++, C# show up in codebases constantly

"Design pattern" are a way to deal with shortcomings of a langauge. But for waht it's worth, C# has exactly the same GOF patterns as Java and you could as well implement them in C++.

>Java's "standardized wacky abstraction" meme pales in comparison to bug-ridden, repeated real life implementations in other languages

That's why all operating systems and the NASA technology for spaceships are written in Java.. oh wait, they are not.

>and the JVM is the most reliably portable platform ever built

That would be the BEAM VM, actually... "nine nines uptime", mofo.

>C# has exactly the same GOF patterns as Java
A lot of the GOF patterns vanish when you have first class functions like C# has. Though Java sorta has them now too, but only in Java 8.

this happens because idiots who can't code learn Java and shit up their programs

Stupid question: couldn't he just build a special version without the asserts being compiled?
e.g. use #ifdef to allow/prevent the asserts from being seen

It's not on the list because there are even fewer Haskell users than there are Ruby and Lisp users, which is saying something.

or just shift left and add it to itself for odd multipliers

because apple fell for the unix meme

this isn't even so bad desu

Am I missing something here? Is the * operator inherently inefficient and I just never knew?

Why is this even a question? I get the "approach a problem differently" angle, but there's better ways to do it, and this teaches them nothing in real-world usage.

Like, there's never going to be a shortage of * operators. They're not hammers. I'm never going to look into my C++ toolbox and say, "Golly gee, I left my * operators at home, guess I have to figure out another way to do this."

If someone had to multiply two integers and did some cutesy bs to avoid using the * operator, I'd probably report them to their supervisor.

I will post it in some hours if no one else does

I like your meme OP

Generic retarded-ass interview "question" about """thinking outside the box""".

Hey faggot whitespace scoping is the cancer of the programming world kill yourself

jesus christ you guys are retarded
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arithmetic_shift

>nobody has posted this yet
what the fuck is wrong with you?

We KNOW how to implement fucking multiplication you fucking donkey. It is absolutely fucking useless in the real world and you fucking know it so fuck off to your cuckshed.

>doesn't understand binary
>doesn't understand how computers work
>doesn't understand compilers turn multiplication and division into shift operations

sometimes I think I'm shit at programming but people like you make me feel better

they were looking for a loop function most likely

You are on Cred Forums, do you expect people who actually know their stuff?

>glua
mein nigger

iOS dev detected

kek

OpenSSL

Fuck this one got me good

What a fucking retard.

Keked WAY harder than expected

I tried that before, converting a integer to a float is not a good idea

using namespace std;

int main() {
int a = 0;
int b = 0;

cout > b;
cout

God.. thats embarrassing

TOPKEK
Now all the people in the bus look at me like im an autistic retard, but the laugh was good, thanks m8.

This thread has been nothing but solid gold. Keep it up anons!

I love these

It's just a programming exercise for beginners, dumbass

It's a thinking out of the box question

>uni.jpg

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Posted this thread yesterday night and came back from work today to see its on page 1. Thanks for all the memes guys. I found all of the memes i was searching for and even saw some OC.

>not using doubles only because it doesn't really matter if your 50 line program is 50 or 80 bytes

kek

these represent everything i hate about web design

ok yes, just because you asked so nicely Tsukasa

java most definitely does not have first-class functions.
probably because those have never been funny

kek

You got it a bit wrong, user.

int multiply (int a, int b)
{
if (b == 1)
return a;
else
return a + multiply(a, b - 1);
}

how it should be done?

>call me homophobic names

Best part

Underrated

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fuck im so god damn triggered.

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>if (b == 1)

multiply(1, 0);

...

and b

int main (){
int a;
int b;
cout a;
cin >> b;
for(int i = 0; i < b; i++)
a+=a;
cout

>compilers turn multiplication and division into shift operations
but thats wrong. theres almost ubiquitous hardware support for multiplication, usually via shift operations. the compiler doesnt do it, though.

Fixed that for you.

int multiply(int a, int b)
{
if (b == 0)
return 0xbadc0de >> (floor(log(0xbadc0de) / log(2)) + 1)
else if (b == 1)
return a;
else
return a + multiply(a, b - 1);
}

Top fking kek

Use modulus operator

return -multiply(a, -b)

yeah the take a look at your code 7 years later and not understand anything-ordeal is pretty real

minimalism is not a worthwhile goal in and of itself and frequently means losing functionality for no reason other than aesthetics(which is not a good reason to do anything.)

>HTML
Calling them "people" is giving them too much credit.

Woah, watch out we got a guy using recursion in here!

Questions like these are also for used to teach recursion.

hahaah I lost it

Underrated post

It's a linter that looks over your code to spot errors as you write.

explain pls

fucking kek

python is for peasants and people who want to actually have a job

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_O_notation

>sad guy
jerk-wad your shit in the near future, crumb bum

#include

int main()
{
int i= 1, a, b, aux;
printf("Type the values of A and B \n");
scanf("%d %d", &a, &b);
if(a == 1)
{
printf("%d", b);
}
else if (b == 1)
{
printf("%d", a);
}
else
{
aux = a;
while(b >i)
{
a = a + aux;
i++;
}
printf("a * b = %d \n", a);
}
return 0;
}

CS undergrad 6 months in here.

does anybody have the one of the C++ chimera begging for the sweet release of death?

Underrated

I hope you're joking. That's completely server side, nothing to do with client side unless your code is completely fucked security wise.

whoops, I fucked up
int multiply(int a, int b){
int total = 0;
for (b; b > 0; b--){
total += a;
}
return total;
}

This is the best one yet

This is pretty much my attitude.

wtf I love php now

>multiply(1, 300)
>gets called for all values of b

memes

seeing this makes me feel better about myself. more please

>talking to professor about fortran development
>keep thinking im saying Cred Forums
mfw

Underrated post.

BAN THE ENCRYPTION!!

github.com/ErisBlastar/cplusequality

>Latest commit 5b12251 on May 4
>Added trigger warning

hilarious

youtube.com/watch?v=dfyNnUgK8qE

I'm a Java programmer and I think C is superior.
Not professionally, my computer science course just so happens to teach Java.

You can tell that whoever made this pic doesn't understand OOP at all.
Although it's certainly true that Java is garbage.

The right side is just bad programming.

int result = 0;
for (int i=0; i

that is literally how production code ends up being

from base64 import b64decode

multiplication_sign = b64decode("Kg==")

def product(a,b):
return eval(str(a)+multiplication_sign+str(b))

>not reviewing each other's code so this doesn't happen
>not constantly refactoring shit anyway

it's literally all your own fault

I just absolutely refuse to let my code go to shit

If you've ever seen what code from corporate environment looks like, this is spot on. You can can control the quality of your code.... but no the quality of 500 outsourced workers in India working under a hellish top-down waterfall based mode of development, with horrific feature creep.

In practice C can't be as ugly as a Java because C code that gets that bloaty tends to become impossible to develop after a while.

where is it

Note that integers are expressed in the form sum of i=0 to n, of 2^i
hence you can do it in logarithmic time

int mult(int a, int b){
int result = 0;
while(b){
if(b & 1){
result += a;
}
a = 1;
}
return result;
}

Are you literally retarded?
This would calculate a*(2^b).
>lel pleb codemonkeys, don't know leftshift
>doesn't understand it himself

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:q nigga or :q!

Not funny, only mildly annoying tbqhwy

Jukebox anyone?

function PlayMusic(){
var track1="index/jukebox/track1.mp3";
var track2="index/jukebox/track2.mp3";
var track3="index/jukebox/track3.mp3";
var track4="index/jukebox/track4.mp3";
var track5="index/jukebox/track5.mp3";
var track6="index/jukebox/track6.mp3";
var track7="index/jukebox/track7.mp3";
var track8="index/jukebox/track8.mp3";
var track9="index/jukebox/track9.mp3";
var track10="index/jukebox/track10.mp3";
var track11="index/jukebox/track11.mp3";
var track12="index/jukebox/track12.mp3";
var track13="index/jukebox/track13.mp3";
var track14="index/jukebox/track14.mp3";
var track15="index/jukebox/track15.mp3";
var track16="index/jukebox/track16.mp3";
var track17="index/jukebox/track17.mp3";
var track18="index/jukebox/track18.mp3";
var track19="index/jukebox/track19.mp3";
var track20="index/jukebox/track20.mp3";
var track21="index/jukebox/track21.mp3";
var track22="index/jukebox/track22.mp3";
var track23="index/jukebox/track23.mp3";
var track24="index/jukebox/track24.mp3";
var x=Math.round(Math.random()*24);
if (x==0) x=track1;
else if (x==1) x=track2;
else if (x==2) x=track3;
else if (x==3) x=track4;
else if (x==4) x=track5;
else if (x==5) x=track6;
else if (x==6) x=track7;
else if (x==7) x=track8;
else if (x==8) x=track9;
else if (x==9) x=track10;
else if (x==10) x=track11;
else if (x==11) x=track12;
else if (x==12) x=track13;
else if (x==13) x=track14;
else if (x==14) x=track15;
else if (x==15) x=track16;
else if (x==16) x=track17;
else if (x==17) x=track18;
else if (x==18) x=track19;
else if (x==19) x=track20;
else if (x==20) x=track21;
else if (x==21) x=track22;
else if (x==22) x=track23;
else x=track24;
document.getElementById('jukebox').innerHTML="";}

Id like to get a programming certificate, but the best one around me requires C#, which I do not want to learn due to it being microsoft garbage. they also teach C++ and Python though, which I do want to learn

Please tell me if C# is really the garbage I think it is or if it is acceptable and please give reasons

>tfw computer science class is just html and css
How should I kill myself?

Kill me.

He was making a funny user.

Gonna just fix that, real quick:
function PlayMusic(){
document.GetElementById('jukebox').innerHTML="";
}

(Although, I've never actually worked with embed or playing audio in JS. I would've used the tag. But, will this even PLAY the music? It looks like it's just putting it there.)

Shoot, sorry. that last line wasn't supposed to be in the code section.
>(Although, I've never actually worked with embed or playing audio in JS. I would've used the tag. But, will this even PLAY the music? It looks like it's just putting it there.)

>Not doing what I do and storing the audio paths (relative or otherwise) in a data attribute of the user-accessible button on the DOM and reading it back.

function multiply(a,b) {
let c
while(a){
c=add(c,b)
a=add(~0,a)
}
return c
}
function add(a,b){
let c,s
c=(a&b)

Well, I was kinda just following the general structure. It seemed to imply it was supposed to be random, so the user doesn't need to know what it is at all. That being the case, you can name and access the tracks however you want.

But then all I'd have to do is pole the DOM and pick a random element :^)

Oh you sly dog!
(Ok, I'm actually really bad with online sarcasm. I wouldn't have gotten it if it wasn't for the funny face at the end)

In my defense though I'm pulling the info in from a JSON file and just happen to be generating the buttons as such.

At that point it'd be better to access the cached JSON and skip the DOM entirely.

>VB not closer to the bottom of the list
haha, oh wow

>Implying it's a bad thing

it has its applications

...

>Using a O(NP) "solution"
Check out this patricipian stuff:
int main(){
int a;
int b;
int x;
int res = 0;
printf("enter ur numbers\n");
scanf("%d %d",&a,&b);
for(x = 0;(1

Well it just goes to show if you're writing fizzbuzz windows is the place to be

What the fuck is JS

VB/A is like the fucking worst language ever...

It's pretty good for manipulating spreadsheets

>unless you have complex record mergers to do
However, even so, the syntax is utter shit

It'd be pretty great with a good IDE

well it is true that using it in Excel or something has a fucking terrible development environment...

At least in VS, it's ok to code.
But, the entire file organization is a disgusting mess. And it's a metric pain in the ass to try to change the locations of things.

Either way, I never use it voluntarily, unless the alternative is manually handling things.

Recursion is disgusting

Complexity is relative to a person's understanding of something.

read: nigga u dumb

Could've added some O(n*log(n)) so we wouldn't get to O(0) that fast.

nobody posted the
return a/(1/b);
yet?

>integer to float
no

recast and hope for the best

thanks, user

>tfw that was how I used to program

Stack overflow incoming cause no tail-recursion

>if else

VB is shit but VB.NET is great. It's just C# with a different syntax.

I think any half functioning compiler would account for code like that

To iterate is human, to recurse devine

Where's a good place to start with Ruby programming?

Triggered. When will people learn that phone numbers AREN'T NUMBERS! They should be called phone addresses or something. They are strings and can start with zeros.

...

This is pretty accurate, depending on what integration method you use

function z = multiply(x,y)

if x == 0 || y == 0
z = 0;
else
fun =@(t) 1./t;
lnx = integral(fun,1,abs(x));
lny = integral(fun,1,abs(y));

expxy = 1;
for i = 1:10
expxy = expxy + ((lnx + lny).^i)./(factorial(i));
end

z = (x./abs(x)).*(y./abs(y)).*expxy;
end

end

the fuck are ajax programmers?

It's MATLAB btw

Let me load the definition totally asynchronously(tm) and I'll get back to you.

Actually, aesthetics is the only reason you should ever do anything. Prove me wrong nerd.

But there are functions in assembly...

...

webassembly.github.io/

>take programming class in HS
>fucking python
>after 2 weeks we start using the actual editor, not the IDLE shell shit
>3 weeks in we "learn" about print()
>5 weeks in: input()
>the teacher snaps at me every time I do something slightly ahead of class
>"Branching is a bit too far ahead, user"
>"No, user, we won't be using loops yet"
>"No, we're going to do objects next year, it's an advanced subject"
>Next lessons is gonna be loops

I shit you not, the first two lessons she went around telling people how to copy paste

Is suicide an option?

>Is suicide an option?
It always is, user.

dir suicide an option?

should have multiple snakes or something
maybe transparent snakes

how come the github SJWs allowed this addon?

Chances are you probably know more than the teacher and he's scared of it. You should code something really cool and get all the students to be interested in it. Turn them against him. Then just like Orwell's Animal Farm, become the leader.

Is this a good book for a very beginner?

>"Design pattern" are a way to deal with shortcomings of a langauge.
You don't believe this do you?

>That's why all operating systems and the NASA technology for spaceships are written in Java.. oh wait, they are not.

NASA has real time requirements that Java is unable to meet. It's nothing to do with language features kiddo.

*she
That sounds incredibly autistic.
I strongly doubt you could impress any of the people in the class ( or anyone for that matter ) that way.

Oooh, is she your waifu? xD ^_^

All the kidz in your class are probz normiez lol xD

>HS

>V8

dude, fuck off

I'm not form america, did I make a mistake?
I'm talking about Oberstufe here in germany, where you go between age ~16-17 to ~19-20

I would just say no if they wanted to teach me java

You don't know what you're talking about

You don't know what you're talking about

leave high school

>falling for the C# is bad meme
It's literally a better version of Java

I am thinking maybe a padlock on all the other snakes

So true...

>Company hires a "developer"
>Get this complaint from him that "the server is corrupted"
>Shitting bricks suspecting yet another cryptolocker outbreak
>Can't find server issue
>More information
>Some VBA he copied from SO doesn't work
>Change the fucking server name to reflect our actual server
>Fixed
>He complains to management "a good sysadmin would have used the correct server name"

A polished turd is still a turd.

>Positronic Brain
fucking lost it

>web development in assembly
>not memorizing Intel microcode

Fucking lost when he sets the wrong number and moves the mouse around is frustration.

...

I'll just leave this here.

kek i'm fucking dying here

how about a multidimensional coordinate system where you have to move a dot around and lock/rotate the axes around to get a better perspective?

Code example

github.com/ErisBlastar/cplusequality/blob/master/hellofeminists.Xe

What's this link in here, let's click it and JESUS H. FUCKING CHRIST MY EYES THEY'RE ON FUCKING FIRE

This. VB.NET was the first language I was taught, and I always thought it was a crock of shit. I don't know why I didn't like it exactly, but I didn't. Fast forward a few years when I looked into some C# stuff, and I changed my mind. If the syntax was a _tad_ closer to C# then it'd be even better IMO, but it's still a great language, especially for learners.

>OOP (objectification-oriented programming)
My sides

>Recursion

JavaScript?

>womain()
this is great

dont need no else-branch if there's a return.

$ cat > t.c
unsigned int div10(unsigned int x) {
return x/10;
}
$ gcc -m32 -c t.c
$ objdump -dr t.o
[…]
00000000 :
0: 55 push %ebp
1: 89 e5 mov %esp,%ebp
3: 8b 45 08 mov 0x8(%ebp),%eax
6: ba cd cc cc cc mov $0xcccccccd,%edx
b: f7 e2 mul %edx
d: 89 d0 mov %edx,%eax
f: c1 e8 03 shr $0x3,%eax
12: 5d pop %ebp
13: c3 ret

why? shifting is cheaper than division

>not using a slider

This one's actually pretty good.

I fuxking love a shittily written hack.

You just killed my asm boner - fuck you.

Then why is there a java symbol on top of it

Don't joke about embedded JS

>Ada below Visual Basic and incorrectly has all capitals for some inexplicable reason
Oh now that is a master ruseman.

tl;didn't merge

...

this button is from bootstrap, at this time, this could have been done with something like Jade with a simple loop. Precompiled version could look nice

// "std" is sooooo old-fashioned; we use "sti" nowadays.

If you modify the DOM in JavaScript you won't see the changes using "View source" in any browser though. "View source" will only display the actual page as it was retrieved

So that idiot did in fact add it to the page, possibly generating it server-side or even hard-coding

Both of them are 3DPD, so it's inaccurate.

C should have a 2D image, not some 3DPD cosplayer that is equally bad as C++.

can some explain ?
Im just a dumb frondendist, but what exactly happens here ?
only found this linuxcommand.org/man_pages/xxd1.html

...

that's not view source, that's the element inspector

holy fucking shit fuck rust

I thought that was F11 Developer Tools

Can somebody explain to me the meme behind the SICP book?

kek

HtDP is better