Stupid tech terms, i'll start

stupid tech terms, i'll start


Other urls found in this thread:





Is the girl all right?

Are you implying the image is stupid or the girl in the image is stupid?
The eye wash is a safety precaution if you get dangerous chemicals in your eyes.
The glasses is meant to protect the eyes as well, but not from the eye wash.

>internet of things

It's probably a photo for demonstration purpose, so yes.

>Are you implying the image is stupid or the girl in the image is stupid?
You are stupid. Maybe he is implying that he wishes to wash his eyes after seeing those terms?


Adding "p" at the end of an arbitrary number doesn't automatically make it an official standard/resolution. Not only that, but you're not telling anything without additional information like aspect ratio.



full stack web developer

that's an actual term... wtf.

Code ninja artisan pirate hacker guru jedi

as opposed to short stack pancakes?

usb high speed
usb full speed
usb super speed

>Guys look at me! I know what this device everybody knows from mid school chemistry classes is! Look how smart I am!

This is the oldest one I can remember. I think it's the first tech term that made me cringe in my life:
>Information Superhighway

aawww yss

dat earlobe
wish my penis was micro enough to fit in there

Using the letter "i" in front of a name to make it seem its super techy... and companies giving stupid names to their products

Dyson "Digital v6" vacuum - It's an electric motor
Lighting connector - Until recent devices this was a USB2 connection, no lighting speeds there.


the p stands for progressive instead of i for interleaved video, you can put that behind any number and thats fine

>internet of things
It sounds like a new meme term for something existed before.
So, basically, what's that?

Platform as a Service(PaaS), Software as a Service(SaaS) etc.

Yeah but that's not the term making you cringe, it's the concept behind it.

Fuck, Tesla is marketing Hardware as a Service.

Bring your own device (BYOD). Bring your own technology(BYOT). Bring your own phone(BYP).

This is what you get when managers try to get into technology.




that's just gay consumers though

It's just everyday devices connected to the internet. Like light, coffee machine, radiator, etc.

Beside the term for it, the idea itself is also really stupid. It's exactly what you don't want. There are enough security issues with plain cameras, do you want strangers from the other side of the world to control your whole home?

to be fair the computer is by far the most sensitive home device and they can easily get that. Who cares if they also fuck up your toaster

>Who cares if they also fuck up your toaster
Enjoy your housefire

unless you your paper towels are hanging into your toaster it can't start a fire

>internet of things

yeah fuck this

I only learnt this term by your post and it is already the worst one I've seen

Especially thinking about self-proclaimed prosumers

what is a webinar?


You could probably aim your meatus at the opening of the ear canal, and fill her ears with your semen.

> .io

It's just a random demo photo you autist. He never said or implied that the girl in the image is stupid. And we all took chemistry in high school, we know what they are for.

>smart _____

Not that guy, but in my country we never used these. Hell, we never even played around with the various elements.

Must be nice..

also dropping the "e" in anything that would normally be written as "somethingER"



Fucking this. Especially when people, who don't know shit, use it to fucking refer to basically everything on the internet.

>Be on vacation with some people
>Friend, who is a father has his son at home
>Son at home has some issues with internet and writes Friend a text
>Friend's like: "no probs, will configure remotely from vacation"
>"I'll just access my routers configuration site with my iphone with my routers domain name"
>enter routers domain name in safari
>doesn't work
>shiet wuuut.jpg
>Me: well it only works in your LAN, how else is it supposed to know what router you mean with that domain name.
>"Well, duh this stuff works all over the cloud already!"
It's basically a word they use, whenever they don't know shit.

>not .io
what the fuck is this shit, 'renders' look like shit drawn by a down syndrome kid and the layout is even worse

According to Google it's a seminar conducted over the Internet.

but user what if you want to make yourself an iCoffee with in your new iHome while your iOven prepares your meal and your iCar drives you home at a specified pace so that once the food is done you arrive at your iDoor which if course opens automatically

>online sex worker

>made for Ipod

Tech terms I actually like:


I like the stretching bra strap on the singlet

I can deal with cloud if it's not thrown at everything. There is some meaning left....

My blood boils.

specs cost $10k



> LAN cable
That does not exist its a patch cable you idiots

>boss says company is going to make a big push into IoT
>we're all given standing desks
>come in one day and we're rebranding to .io
please send help



What the fuck does this shit have to do with Java?

then call it ecmascript

What does java have to do with java? C requires more coffee than java.

>"what's ecmascript, user?"

>Internet of things
>bring your own device (and associated technologies to 'enable' this)
>full-stack (aka what every developer used to be capable of but now standards are so low that you need a word to differentiate)

Because you "program" HTML and CSS?

HTML and CSS aren't programming languages, so no.
You "write" HTML and CSS.

Theres a guy somewhere that actually tought that was his routers domain

'to code' is perfectly acceptable replacement for 'to write' if you're dealing with HTML and CSS


>this stuff works all over the cloud already
I even don't understand what exactly he wanted to say.

css is turing complete fag

why does it matter that it's over the internet?

everything related to the internet REQUIRES another word for everything (e.g. cyber-[Insert world here])

A language specification of which JavaScript, JScript and ActionScript are implementations.

You know, the shit that comes out the other end when compiling CofeeScript, Typescript or C-to-asm.js

> e.g. cyber-
I remember adding e- to everything.

virtual reality, preplanning, scrum master, every corporate acronym

I keked

e- passed over my mind, both work the same way but in different contests (e-crime and cyber-commerce aren't quite as effective)
While writing that i noticed that cyber- is used mostly in negative ways.

1. If the stylesheet does not define animations it will halt.
2. It the stylesheet defines animations and:
2a. they loop infinitely, it will not halt;
2b. they loop finitely, it will halt.

Holy shit you guys, I just solved the halting problem!1!!eleven!

I guess its because one of javas original uses was to be run in the browser as an applet.

You know nothing

Uh... good luck trying to force this term. LAN cable has enough precedence at this point that everyone who isn't sticking strictly to aged dictionary definition understands what it means.

thank mr skeltal

High speed HDMI
High speed Ethernet HDMI

(You) (Faggot)
thanks mr skeletal, but don't spook me again like that


I'm going to use this whenever I'm angry at hipsters from now on.

You made a mistake, take a jpeg.

When I hear that term, I imagine a babyboomer using Yahoo or AOL and being impressed that they can look up muffin recipes on

>there is some meaning left
There never was and never will be a "cloud". It's just a forced meme created by tech companies that don't want normies to be alarmed about the fact that they have all normie data backed up in data centers that heat this planet up like it's 9/11 all day every day.

>Full HD

no, fuck off
1080p is HD while 720p is half HD

> 720p is half HD

Any buzzword
Fucking this. "Cloud" existed before it was even termed that way.

Maybe he's using that Meraki trash

tech connoisseurs whom have never touched a girl

It's a 8P8C RJ45 100BASE-TX CAT5e Ethernet cable

>smart city
Also anything that sounds like pic related

Fuck you
720 : HD Ready, or just "HD"
1080 : Full HD, 2K
1440 : QHD or WQHD (Quad HD, 4*720p)
2xxx I don't remember : Ultra HD, UHD, 4k...

I feel for you man.

If you wanna let the high-up know,, and are available.

I _think_ is also available.

Eh... Things were pretty shitty, even when we got to mess about. The only fun things were setting the gas taps on fire and taking 10x what you were supposed to.

HD is 720p, retard. Full HD is 1080p. Blame marketing for having to add stupid shit to "HD". I agree that "Full" HD was the dumbest move they could've made though.

Big data

Even though it has fallen out of use, no tech term makes me cringe harder than

> Web 2.0

Also "social media".

Fucking asshole retards, just because everyone and their cat has a Facebook profile and loves forwarding clickbaity articles to all their fake internet friends does not mean we are entering a new age of the internet.

"Social media" is neither social, nor is it media.

It's just a polished version of that shit your grandma still does, where she forwards you thirty emails a week containing inspirational .ppt files with Kenny G music in the background.

Forgot to add:

In my opinion, we'll only enter an actual Web 2.0 stage when we achieve full VR browser integration and three dimensional webpage navigation/design.

Think Ed in Cowboy Bebop.

* Stack developer

not exactly a tech term but...
fucking GAMER

>gaming motherboard
>gaming speakers
>gaming energy drink



If you could the pixels, 720p is 44% of 1080p.

Because screens also have a width, just in case you forgot.

Well, now I hate one-number resolution marking.

That's practically a downblouse creepshot

Awwwwww yeah been waiting for someone to do this

>How the fuck am I writing code when I'm typing them on my computer?

Prefixing 'e' to everything.



never heard of ePorn


Internet of things
Big Data
Networking (Facebook, linkedin shit)

IoT isn't just a meme, many companies are integrating it in their products already, if it's a bad decision that's another story, but it's out there in the industry

Yup. definitely a big thing. Definitely retarded though. Not that that means it's going away any time soon.



fine dragger 'n' dropper don't get that mad

sounds fucking dumb

i thought nerds like startreck

t. advertising department

>"hacker" (classifying everything as "hacker" maybe an exception to "hardware hacker" i actually like it)

>"cracker" (as "evil hacker")

>"hashtag" (i'm just meh...)

>noob (usually they at least don't know the true meaning of it and just say it)
>I (pod,mac,etc...)

>exclamation point instead of just bang
>hashtage exclamation point unstead of shebang
>open source to mean free as in beer


How has no one yet posted the most egregious buzzword of all time?


>Info-sec Space
>Agile Facilitation Space
>Automotive Infotainment Space


I co-developed leveraged tech-forward solutions through strategic sustainability retroflectives in the telematics SPACE.

>says he built his own computer
>ask him how he implemented forwarding in his CPU and to show me the HDL.
>he looks at me like I'm retarded

Fucking plebs I swear.

I like your style

(1920 * 1080) / 2 ≈ (1280 * 720)

anything involving "web" tends to be stupid

thank mr skeltal

>app (only ok when it's on a phone)
>referring to any Android phone as a 'samsung' or 'galaxy'
>Thumb drive
>Jump drive
>Calling someone a 'computer guy'
>Referring to ddos as a hack

everything is a drone nowadays

fuckfucking this
>hackerspace (formerly diy club)
>hax as cheats
I fucking cringe every time

>calling cheat as hack
hmmm maybe...
but i need to concord to it

about the another hacks, i don't know i just don't use they so i can't opine

>>app (only ok when it's on a phone)
sorry but i need to ask
people use the word "app" out phone/'mobile" things?
when and where they call "app"?

You I like. Dangling cleavage is the best.

This. So tired of plebs not knowing what building a computer means.


it sounds cool and cyberpunk though

It's with good intentions that make progress in those "spaces" but really, they are just applying some technology in their field. Why does everyone want to just put their cover on something?

>new guy at work
>shit at js, shit at php shit at c#

>mobile application development framework


>industry 4.0



>its not "industry standard" level

windows 8 or 10 do this everywhere

>selfie cam
>military grade motherboard
>mainboard manufacturers who are telling you how great their "proprietary" tools are


>cyber security
>cyber warfare

>"military" quality

This. In fact, I feel like a retard saying anything related to Linux out loud

She died.

no way...

I might register this domain

>or just "HD"
1080p is just "HD"

No, that's full HD.
When you buy an HD phone or TV, it's 720p, otherwise it's labeled as full HD


Linux is fine but the FSF is just cringeworthy

i2c standard mode, fast mode, fast mode plus.


There isn't a less sexy word than GNU

Fucking this.

>t. researcher who works with people who think knowing every individual's personal buying, eating, and exercise habits is "the future"

I get the idea but... Fuck I don't think some monopolistic company/companies having access to such information would make the world more efficient.

And this is just in fucking product marketing.

>Big data

this sounds fucking stupid


how is it different from say the genome data from the 90s?

>big data

Weird that it wasn't posted sooner

I see project managers, scrum masters, agile consultants, and every other kind of tech-illiterate working with software development spam MUH BIG DATA on linkedin.

Wish I had the balls to just call them out on it.



What's wrong with that one.

Cloud is fine as a term and makes sense. Retards not knowing what it means doesn't make it bad.

>people use the word "app" out phone/'mobile" things?

I remember the use of 'app' just about when 'executable' started to sound funny when non-techy types started to use computers and you would call Word Pad an executable and they would stare blankley so you called it an application and it quickly shortened to 'app'. Only people who didn't know a time before cell phones would be bothered by anyone calling a computer program an 'app'. It's obvious your referring to a program or an executable rather.

>There never was and never will be a "cloud".
>Actually, there is
great and logical post, friend :^)

I do not get it

The cloud is the internet, which is why its use is stupid in the first place.

Web Seminar

That's a whole lot of side boob for an instructional image on eye wash stations...

Gotta get the lab students excited


The word "philosophy", such as the 'agile philosophy', etc, usually HR doing this shit all the time. It just tells me that you are full of shit.

>Cred Forums

It is the inner side as well.

>the use of devops by recruiters

>bashing the technology
>too stupid to understand that these terms are reduced to shit by people in Marketing and Sales
I keep forgetting the average age of Cred Forums users goddammit

You're looking at her eyes??

Because it was made by Sun Microsystems, as Java was. It was a branding decision. You have Java for managed language programming and you have JavaSCRIPT for scripting.

Different languages but they are, in fact, semi-related.

No it's not.

You fucking .NET developer.

>Social sharing
>Web 3.0
>Bring your own device
>Bullshit tech job titles like "Social Ninja"
>Fake do nothing jobs for diversity hires like "Evangelist"
>Internet of Things
>Big Data
>Hyper Convergence
>Anything at all to do with current webdesign trends.

I am bothered that developers are starting to feed into this retardation, I also have never heard anyone call anything an 'app' before the rise of the modern cellphone. What I did hear was everyone calling an executable a 'program.' There were also the extremely stupid ones who only used email or internet who called their email client "My Email," and Internet Explorer "The Internet."

I program my sprinkler system
I program my VCR
I program my indoor lights

G-d, I hate with passion all of those ``data scientists'' that work with ``big data''. With passion, I tell you.

>The sharing economy

I'm still mad that win10 changed 'programs' to 'apps'

Android, anonymous and app all trigger me

>being the only computer literate person at work
>get asked to help with the smallest issue

why even live

Fucking nerds I swear to god

Literally never heard anyone call it that. I've heard people mostly call it, wrongly, Ethernet cable.


I wrote a blogpost for the company, then sent it to the marketing grill for proofreading.

She told me to rewrite the whole article and to include more buzzwords such as agile and teal organisation so that we get more clicks.

In France, we have the term "uberisation" (uberification, I guess)


>Lighting connector

Lightning is an actual connector standard you uneducated twat. It's technically a progression on thunderbolt, neither of which have anything to do with USB.

You are a moron.

>apple makes anything innovative

Sure it can. Just keep it heating constantly over and over all day, some part of it is bound to get too hot, they're not made to be used constantly.

tits or gtfo

>relevant terms that all have specific meanings and distinctions


lol i thought she was wearing a swimsuit.


One that I keep hearing is
Tech ships a provisioned network device out to client and explains that it will automagically pick up the vpn server.


Growth hacker
Working space engineers
Social media

I didn't say it was innovative. It's an idiotic proprietary connection standard. But it's not a stupid buzzword that means USB.


It looks extremely painful with that mask off


your a big guy XXdxdxdD


instant scroll


when i got my mobo the fucking manual and the driver installation and all that shit "GAMING" was every other word
it's so cringey


"killer app" - one of those stupid news article terms to describe any popular Android/iOS app. Originally, the term described a system/product seller - i.e., you'd buy a PS1 just for Final Fantasy 7, which you can't get anywhere else in the late 90s, so at the time FFVII is a killer app. Today? My dad says bullshit like "you need to start working on the killer app so you can make some real money".


just angrily set down my coffee to reply, like borderline slammed it..

>be talking in a chat with about 7 close friends
>all stoners and addicts though
>one, high of course, starts trying to talk about this quadcopter built by this "kid genius" where he lives
>had to have been some kid that either bought a kit or followed some youtube users shopping list
>Hes too high to say the word for it but is obviously describing a rc helicopter
>nobody is doing "rc helicopters" at the moment, its all quadcopters.
>inb4 octocopters and tricucks pipe in
>say to him, "you mean a quadcopter"
>replies back "nah nigga a drone, thats what it was"
>try to explain that they are called quadcopters and drone is an umbrella term
>get told back: you dont know shit.wav
Ive written programs for everything from windows/linux x86_64 to AVRs, good chance thats theres an avr in that thing somewhere.
Id literally be making this kind of shit if I wasn't a turbo jew.
Hes literally used code I wrote in games and knows damn well I wrote it.
The nerve and arrogance some people have is unreal.
>go back and fourth for a bit and until I decide theres no point in arguing with someone thats going to be an idiot.

>Cred Forums

>You mad
seriosly underrated.

Id say we are in web 3.0 and web 4.0 will be the vr shit.
1.0 was 90s shit
2.0 was when things became sort of standardized in the mod 2000s and you stopped seeing stupid shit ads like "shaky seizure rainbow box: youre the 10000000 visitor"
3.0 is this pleb bullshit facebood youtubers "I dont use addblock because I want to support ((( "content creators" )))), "lets ban adblocker cause its piracy"
4.0 is either going to be vr or when we move past the 3.0 cringe
5.0 will be vr if we actually manage to get rid of the cringe first.

unemployed children that fail to understand that these buzzwords are actually extremely fucking useful for getting cs-agnostic managers excited about these things and thus creating demand for our kind of talents

We'll only move past the current normie internet if we somehow manage to get them off it.
Like, if we make some sort of internet analogue, like, some sort of world wide communication system that only lets you get on a few selected "sites", like facebook and youtube and buzzfeed and all that normie shit.

You are aware that electric signals are transmitted at a certian rate, right?
You do know that ethernet is part of the hdmi standard now even though it wasnt in the begining, right?.. RIGHT??

>java developer

>bitches about png formate
>replies with a png

What this drone said!

>software engineer

... you mean that thing there were trying to do that we protested the shit out of? That thing that would have made them have to pay more for non namebrand websites thus preventing newfags from finding 5chain?

I belive the word you were struggling to clutch in your clumsy hands is "format."


I smiled

I meant formate, m8!

>goes into marketing
>is bothered by the fact that is company is literally trying to be big brother

They are called programs, thank you!

He's right, you know