[serious]

What skills should I put on my resume if I want to get a job as a project manager at a tech company?

Previous experience as a project manager.

If you don't have any, sorry. You gotta work your way up to the post

Literally :^) the post.

put your name as pajeet or ranjesh

Yeah I want to fake it till I make it though

Just tell me what project managers do.

Go to linkedin and install Gentoo

If you can't even be bothered to look up what a project manager does, why and how the fuck are you going to be one? Just leave it to Pajeet while you fetch his coffee

Get a cork (not the plastic ones), burn a side and softly pass it over your face and hands (except palms and fingertips, put a red dot right between your eyebrows, then take a picture of yourself and paste it to the resume, add a nickname like "sanjai", "raj" or "brijesh" and put a fake reference for a microsoft project manager experience. If they even call that reference just use an indian accent to play it safe.

In my experience, you should put:

>Drama Queen
>skilled in calling meetings with individuals, then calling meetings with the entire team where we repeat everything that happened in the 1-on-1 meetings
>getting huffy when an engineer rolls into a "stand-up meeting" late after staying until 2am that morning fixing some retarded bullshit I demanded
>demanding utterly retarded features that piss off a huge portion of our existing customers
>actively undermining the quality of our product for the sake of meeting some idiotic checkbox requirement from some irrelevant magazine's review
>yelling at the best guy in ops because you don't understand anything he's saying, and you think his technical objections are just him "having it in for you"
>cocaine enthusiast

That about sums up my experiences with several "project managers". They add absolutely nothing to the organization, aside from drama. That's how they make it look like they matter: they create drama where they're the center of it. They're like the human analog of a lazily written television script.

Hijacking
I don't want to be a code monkey forever, want to move away from technical shit (or remain in technical but get more into decision making) and get into managerial. Best course of action (of course aside from taking the lead and performing well in my current position), take an MBA? MSCS?

If you're looking to move upwards I would either stick it out at your current company or just apply elsewhere for a more senior position depending on how much experience you have. An MBA isn't worth it unless it's from a top program and if you're already good at your job, then a master's in CS isn't going to help you unless you just want to learn. Just grind it out brotha

fine pm it is

Definitely don't plan on leaving this company, the place is doing really good right now (Fortune 1000) and it will keep on growing because of the direction tech(not 'puters) is going right now.
>An MBA isn't worth it unless it's from a top program and if you're already good at your job
To give more context, I'm surrounded with MSIT/MBA oldies(40+/- years old, I'm not even 30 yet), granted I'm really good at my job and I've been receiving and finishing more workloads than the rest.
I know I'm rushing things, but that's exactly what I want. Need to get to the top asap.
I'll postpone the MBA until next year, I won't be spending a dime anyway since part of the benefits of my workplace is free education as long as I don't fail anything.

if you're MBA is paid for, by all means go for it man. it sounds like you're in a good situation so i wouldn't be too worried about staying a code monkey lol.

This
This
This

Op, do THIS and you're fucking golden.

Certification PRINCE2 or similar bullshit. No one knows what makes a good PM, but HR knows how to CTRL-F.

>be research scientist
>become PM of two projects by chance
>erryday attend meetings, write reports
>deal with insubordinate drama queens who are protected by senior management
>no time for real work

Why do you want this job?

Microsoft Office Word
Google Docs
VLC media player

This. It's kind of a catch 22. Wanting to be a manager pretty much disqualifies you for it. If you understand management well enough to be good at it, you almost certainly don't want to do it.

Yeah but whatabout head of LeapFrog sales dood, get invested in LeapFrog.

> Cred Forums™ professional shitposter
highly skilled in timed shitposting, shilling and anime loonix ricing

t. Pajeet

Ass driller

they manage projects