APPLE YOU ABSOLUTE MADMAD

Love them or hate them you've got to give it to them, they know how to innovate

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appft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=/netahtml/PTO/srchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1="20160264304".PGNR.&OS=DN/20160264304&RS=DN/20160264304
appft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=/netahtml/PTO/srchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1="20160264304".PGNR.&OS=DN/20160264304&RS=DN/20160264304
theguardian.com/technology/2016/sep/20/apple-patent-recycled-paper-bag
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Did they patent a fucking BAG?

it's called bravery

What are those numbers?

>jealous poorfags who don't have $200 to spend on a premium paper bag

appft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=/netahtml/PTO/srchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1="20160264304".PGNR.&OS=DN/20160264304&RS=DN/20160264304

Literally a patent for a paper bag

Specifically a white paper bag that is at least 60% recycled paper apparently.

The features of this mind blowing innovative new product you fucking idiot
Haven't you saw a patent before?

If you have less money, you have to use that thing on your neck.

JUST

The handles are made of paper fiber that was woven into yarn strands. The seams are reinforced so the bag is supposed to be resistant to tearing.

It's not actually just any paper bag there's a pretty specific description of it.

>he's too poor to afford the $200 Apple Bag

why is this bag covered in pubes?

LEAKED IMAGES 1/??

2/2

More descript the description the easier it is to work around the patent. Even using exactly the same style bag but in any other color than white is not even covered by this patent

That is, if this patent even holds water, US patent system is a bit retarded that things need to be taken to court to find that out. Rest of the wolrd has much stricter requirements to get the patent in the first place so that filters out most of this kind of nonsense

even though this is a joke Conan made, he actually did it because Apple actually applied for a patent for a bag a couple weeks back

Should I invest into apple stock before the announce this bag? Maybe double my investments.

How much is the iBag Plus going to be?

Wait, does that mean other companies will have to stop using recycled paper bags because that's Apple's intellectual property?

How much is an iSack.

No. They would have to make a bag that looks basically identical to Apple's for Apps to be able to do anything

>Apps
Apple*

>apple logo

where I pre-order senpai?

Probably hired the guy who did Google's emojis.

Bag with a particular reinforcement method to compensate for certain weakened strength of the paper because of its level of recycled content.

Only faggots with no knowledge of the mundane side of IP law (re: Cred Forums) will jump all over all this like APPLE INVENTED BAGS. Reading through the patent application is tedious, but at least it's not in all caps and presented through a 4 line window like software EULAs.

iFag detected

>herpaderpaAppleRgay

price tags

>not instructing servants to burn $100 paper bills to heat the lake house in winter

i can never understand how these penniless trogs live their meaningless lives

>burn $100 paper bills to heat the lake house in winter
Cheapskates. We burn Apple share certificates.

The patent is never going to go through. Everything is covered under prior work by other companies... and the patent was just granted.

Looks like all the companies who are already making bags with these "features" are about to get the shit sued out of them.

>tfw it's real

Underrated

I thought apple might be having a go at the Dell XPS M2010

That's almost ergonomic. Why isn't everyone doing this?

I don't get people who work on laptops, it forces such a horrible posture.

>apple releases the ibag
>price: $1,500 (handles not included, sold separately for only $310 :^))

Modern laptop companies can't afford to take risks. The competition is too tight.

they relate to specific details of this amazing bag
>[0031] Bag container 200 may be formed entirely of paper, with the potential exception of adhesive (e.g., adhesive 270, see FIG. 9; adhesives are also shown in FIG. 13 by the hatched portions, but are not separately labeled for clarity). Adhesives described herein may be, for example, hot glue, white glue, tape (including double-sided tape), and rubber cement. Bag container may be formed of a bottom panel 212 (see FIG. 6) and a plurality of side panels 216 (e.g., four side panels). Side panels 216 may be connected to other side panels 216 as side corners 218, and side panels 216 may be connected to bottom panel 212 at bottom corners 214. Side corners 218 and bottom corners 214 may be formed by corner folds 224, and thus side panels 216 and bottom panel 212 may be at least partially continuous with each other across side corners 218 and bottom corners 214.

appft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=/netahtml/PTO/srchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1="20160264304".PGNR.&OS=DN/20160264304&RS=DN/20160264304

Iš this patent thread?

If the guy didn't say McDonald's would he have to just sit there staring at a burger?

Maybe if it is a never ending burger.

I would use the hairy heart lol

Lel

>I don't get people who work on laptops, it forces such a horrible posture.
Half of them do it because laptops are cool and desktops are for nerds and plebs.

The other half do it so that they can take their laptop to meeting rooms, clients, just over to the boss's office to show them something...that sort of thing.

Most companies that I've worked at where they gave or tried to give me a laptop wanted me to take it home and be available for outages etc. Or had visions of sending teams of programmers into client companies as some sort of high-speed, low-drag flying squad of tech geniuses.

In reality, they mostly get used as low-profile desktops or donated to muggers (that only happened to one cow-orker).

wow, almost two points down
BANKRUPT & FINISHED xD

>never ending burger

Neat

Why is the bag so smelly?

does it have APPS?

>"Sadly the patent application makes no mention of a headphone jack."
>theguardian.com/technology/2016/sep/20/apple-patent-recycled-paper-bag
btfo