/brit/

Wanna go for a bike ride tomorrow but my bike shoes are at work and I really, really fucking HATE going to work on my days off.

un pingüino

do NOT mess with me sunshine
*prepares power stance*

nth for adolf

>have never been threatened with a knife or gun in the UK
>have never felt like i need to tool up to be safe
yanks will never know this freedom

god hates me

The wife and the mistress getting on like a house on fire.

faxing his imam now the topless pics, won't be hard to spin Cred Forums as a homosexual website. Should get him beheaded by the end of the week

borders do nothing but cause a divide i'm not english nor british nor european, no I am one of Earth's children.

*sets your house on fire*
psshh, nothin personnel

Think the UK should buy ireland back desu

saw someone getting shanked live once
was pretty fucking grim

Pisses me off when I hear fatties talking about how they can't lose weight.

Stop stuffing your face and exercise more. Simple.

Lads

I've literally been knifed and never felt the need to tool up either

post your favorite new wave tunes lads

You canadians can have it for £3.50

Why would a raghead come onto to /brit/ only to get laughed at?

DAILY REMINDER:

mexicANO is still the best poster of /brit/

greentext

annoys me when i hear autists talking about no gf

Stop wanking your willy and socialise more. Simple.

Seems a bit pricey desu

>live in a "dangerous" area
>open my local newspaper and stabbings, shootings, everywhere

>place feels completely safe, looks nice
>never felt threatened

explain

...

bit sad
not sure what i did
hopefully it resolves

>saw someone getting shanked live once

once pulled a knife on someone

well adjusted members of society will never know this freedom

...

£1.25 final offer

"something bad happens" sells more papers than "everything generally okay"

...

>jus b urself c:

At last you begin to see the (((Narrative)))

This thread fucking stinks.

>left
puke.jpg

You h8 is poetry to my ears. Not gonna lie.

>north american of european stock

yeesh

even when that shit is happening 99.9% of people who it happens to "deserve" it

like you if arent involved in drugs and crime nothing will befall you unless you're unlucky

random muggings and shit are incredibly rare these days and only happen if you look like a total soft cunt

is that real
what a qt

in greggs?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_parentheses
Really makes you think

>Alan is an overcompensating manlet
It all makes sense now...

5 4 2 3 1

unironically made this gimmick during the war against janny

proud to see it catch on

tired and its not that much of a story
just saw a guy getting shanked in a fight when I was with some friends, was nothing special really
we just went on with our night but we were disturbed for a while. we kept our silence on the whole way to my friends flat where we would sleep
like its pretty fucking scary

you're not very good at this whole 'fitting in' malarkey

Because there's a Muzzie paki in here

...

>being this desperate to have people care about you.

literally sad

no it was in tescos

>is that real
a real guy

the fact that something that points out people are jewish is considered bigoted made me do a think

>parentheses
FOY

>pointing out Jewish surnames is racist

youtube.com/watch?v=Q2_or-tRgaA

literally fuck off

Your shithole will not exist. We won't forget.

Pls, Loraine. Bake me a cake.

>we were disturbed for a while. we kept our silence on the whole way to my friends flat where we would sleep

you sound like a gang of puffs

been here since craven and his butler who turned out to be craven was around

you look good in this pic x

>palestinian-canadians
everytime

your boss is sent an email containing every one of your Cred Forums posts you made in the last 24 hours

how fucked are you?

best poster here

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_parentheses
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alt-right
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepe_the_Frog

lads

>walk into a thread about something non-american
>immediately see people talking about america
Ah yes the "International" board

not very

what's going to happen to my anus?

>JIDF
everytime

well yeah we were tbH. never really got exposed to violence or to anything grim

>only happen if you look like a total soft cunt
but I DO look like a total soft cunt, and I go through complete shit areas, dangling my phone and earphones about

And I've never been mugged...what's with that?

>look mom, I posted it again lol!

What are you opinions on cyclists?

Daily reminder that you are significantly more likely to be paki

Wales will be free. Welsh people will forget the language of occupants.

Anglos will forget English too, because they will be a part of France.

Fuck off.

do you also hate gays and love traditional family values? if so i've got just the religion for you :)

why did this alt right become a thing so fucking cringeworthy why do americans have to fuck everything up

good lads

Getting my daily dose of pancakes, bacon, eggs and black coffee

Can you postpone that, I'd like to poo later and without a hole in won't come out

x

really fucking buggered it when we fought on the wrong side in ww2 didnt we lads

@64976591
Literal shitskin

Hold that fart don't shart in mart.

as I said, its still rare you have to be unlucky

frankly theres just not enough money in muggings to be worth the hassle or risk, You pawn a phone and take a little cash at best? Muggers are rarely the type of people who will take your keys and then rob your house after beating the address out of you

why exactly did hitler go off his nut anyway, was russia actually going to invade?

>since
doubt it
how the fuck do you not know about commie slags

Think 80% of them are just autistic and don't grasp the concept of subtlety

love them

lets go doopin mental

LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

invading Russia was the entire point of the war.

I cycle a lot. Keeps me fit, makes me feel good mentally and you see some nice views. I try to be as respectful as possible to motorists but it still seems that they hate me for no apparent reason

paki is a catch all for shitskins
i.e. arabs and asians and turks
i.e. you

all have very spunkable legs

>you have to wear special clothing just to ride a bike

what the fuc

i see some nice views when qt's are cycling and you can see their thongs

It's all done in a tongue in cheek pepe the frog state of mind. But as I said earlier, I am definitely wallowing in a valley in my life, before lessons being learned and another peak I'm sure. Hence the shitposting and going to Cred Forums for that matter.

reckon if she doesn't reply to me in a week i'll block her
don't want some situation where they come crawling back and put me through some emotional bullshit

probably forgot, random Cred Forums slags aren't that memorable and you have to be on some sort of drug to handle being here

>have posh gf
>we're in a dodgy part of the city
>she looks visibly worried
>leave area
>first thing she says is "wow i didn't see a single white person there"

think my gf might be a white nationalist lads, what do?

>my pet yank

youtube.com/watch?v=unRldLdllZ8

literally you

than q ;3

and niggers.

For some reason niggers don't seem to realise that shitskin applies to them as well.

Are you an ethnic Algerian?

just leave you bloody normal

gee billy
how come your mum lets /brit/ have two canadians

imagine that was your dad

what is a packi?

The mayor of your capital city is Pakistani. Your argument is invalid.

dont give a fuck about benders, and yes i support traditional family values

his haircut is clean

HERGH IS IT MORNIN ALREADY

yeah but wouldn't call them paki
call them wogs or niggers or darkies

lad you constantly post yourself here, you're either legitimately autistic or you don't understand this website in the slightest

shut up

>and yes i support traditional family values

then you might like:
>islam
the worlds fastest growing religion with a bona fide caliphate in development at this very moment!

he is

and so are you

>brown
>muslim
it's a paki

flim has finally finished downloading

>Implying it's not fresh
The next Mike Skinner tbqh

the guy who made that article

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Denarivs

I support family values even though I'm a dead beat dad

doing a Maha Satipatthana Sutta lads

the soviets unsuccessfully invaded poland in 1919, then again as part of the molotov-ribbentrop pact, then invaded finland as well. stalin built up a massive army and given that the soviets spent the rest of the 20th century trying as hard as they can to spread communism, but only couldnt do so because of nukes, it was a given that they were gonna try expand at some point

communism is also degeneracy in its purest form and hitler was right to want to wipe that ideology of the face of this planet

but why its called paki?

>tfw you live in the best town in the country
crewechronicle.co.uk/news/crewe-south-cheshire-news/crewe-tops-uk-list-places-11892736

Give me your jelly.

but i hate muslims and zionists, weird innit

Hi, I'm denarivs, an editor with an interest in Roman history ^_^ !! I'm a LGBT-identified trans-disabled queer Black Chicano demiromantic twin-spirited genderfluid asexual transgender Muslim and intersectional feminist. My mental illnesses include bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anorexia nervosa (self-diagnosed). Follow me on Tumblr!

TRIGGERS:

I have hundreds of triggers, but here are some of my biggest ones:

Yellow

Being corrected

rape

strong opposition

low-pitched masculine voices

apples

HOL UP ESCARGOON SO YOU BE SAYIN LIL OL ME BE A HERO AND SHIT? AYYYYYY YOU BE JESTIN MY NIGGUH

...

Fucking hell

Imagine what that person looks like in real life

Literal inbred autistic ugly mess

>lad you constantly post yourself here
Implying it's not the pics of a poor guy I am friends with on Facebook that I post

this HAS to be taking the piss

it just has to be.
I can't believe anyone is really this bad

Honestly I would trail you up and down the street you paki bender, take you and your ugly fucking mug and get out of this general

I can't even tell who are the pol false flags and who are real sjw any more.

>See also:
>Cuckservative
>New Right
>White Guilt
when i reread it it seems like a pretty blatant Cred Forums satire account

>replying to the paki and giving him attention

you're all down syndromed cunts

stupid question but why couldn't hitler have tried to get europe/britain to help fend off russia? would britain actually have just sat back and watch it happen?

Find this a bit hard to believe

there are loads of people legitimately like this, and they have the gall to call some alt-right mongs "neckbeards"

Wow this african paki sure is a cool no-nonsense anrchist

Keep waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. Think it might be cancer.

...

i got the knife on me now
you don't wanna die tonight

Its not a satire account lad, you're just used to it

there are GENUINELY people out there who are like this. many of them

would you consider doing this with your m8s, as long as you guys have balaclavas on so she won't recognize you?

It is but that doesn't make it less grating to me.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Denarivs

did a bit more sleuthing

>ywn be from Crewe

do you drink before bed?

This

short for pakistani
paki became a catch-all for them because they're all basically the same

youtube.com/watch?v=3WDRxtd-2dQ

most muslims hate all other muslims cos they're not real muslims so you're fine

welcome to the party, mashallah

I've missed you so icelad

nah, seems more uncomfortable than anything, dunno how anyone could get a boner or cum in that situation

To be honest there are a number of alternative explanations for your predicament and I cannot muster the energy to list them here

i wouldn't say many, it might seem like more since we see a lot of their exposure through the internet
when you add up as many stereotypes as you can and compress them into one identity, i find it hard to believe there is any sincerity there
for sure

A lot of the time but not over the past few days. Stopped for a bit when I woke up with what felt like my liver twitching constantly.

projecting, pakiboo?

this desu, don't reckon my willy would be hard in a rape situation

I once shared a room with an irish kid and his girlfriend in an Amsterdam hostel. Brought a japanese girl and fucked her in the room. The irish broad was all over my dick the next morning. We had breakfast and went to smoke together. Later the chick wanted to come to a bar but her guy said he was tired and went back to the hostel. I fucked her in the toilets of the bar and told the guy that it was fun and he should have joined us the next morning. 100% true story. Yeah I doubt you would as much as be able able to do as much as look me in the eye if we met.

rape porn is autistic as fuck.

Didn't read this

Do me a favour and fuck off

any updates on poleaboo?
aint heard from him in a while

youtube.com/watch?v=w34fSnJNP-4

youtube.com/watch?v=lBvis2nV4Lk cool tune that

sadly we (britain) were always opposed to germany simply because they were our direct competitors in europe. to put it in simple terms back then the world was a sort of international economic clique of britain, france, the usa and all their allies. germany as a country that was only formed in 1871 (not really that long before 1939 is it) represented a threat to this established order and tried to exclude germany from this clique and saw it as a threat to the world order.

basically we were too busy still trying to play empire to recognise the more sinister forces at play.

>this paki thinking anyone believes a word he posts

nope, just pointing out you think like a third worlder :)

haha

youtube.com/watch?v=GivkxpAVVC4
Listening to a big chune

You lads ever wished the world would end, like in the walking dead, or something similar so you wouldn't have to worry about a shitty, boring life?

No more work, no more bills, no more worrying about being social or keeping up appearances.

I think it would be great.

good choon

all hook-up stories sound the same.

gives off a feeling that they're heavily overrated (as most sterile sexual experiences are)

He regrets taking his tranny pills

Creasing

*charges at you

what was the other version of this?

...

[IMPORTANT]

go to the gym right now?

OR

wake up early tomorrow and go to the gym then before work.

yeah, i'm just waiting for Katla to erupt

Adidas creps don't ask where I got them

Yeah, I once said this to my GP when I was having a hard time and he had me sectioned. kek

you'd probably die, I might die too.
but yeah I'd be willing to make a go of it

just go round stealing and killing and exploring until someone kills me

looking at the Tim Hortons page on fb and they upload every pic twice once in english and the other is in french, one filled with anglo-canadians in the comments and others are filled with french-canadians

weird country

>speak about something with my mates
>pops up on /brit/ a few hours later

identify yourself

going to bed hope I don't wake up

really?

jahahahaha
isnt court date like very soon

I don't like this one as much though i like the faster tempo
youtube.com/watch?v=w0cbkOm9p1k

...

Bit ridiculous that they cater to annoying frogs

not really

do not even think about him

I'd be a good survivor. I'm fast, athletic as fuck and strong. I have a pretty normal life and all the stuff I mentioned but it's just so fucking boring and so much effort.

They are obviously as impermanent as any other experience. That's life what you gonna do. But they're still fun while you are living them and having lived them cures you from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) which is a horrible way to live your life.

thanks m8, didn't actually know most of this, I should probably read up on WW2 and what transpired it.

good luck

can I get a (You) before you go to bed plz

thaaaaat's the one

i prefer this one desu

they're like 1/4 of tim horton's market

what's he going to court for? haven't been on /brit/ in ages

they are and rarely worth the effort

Or lies. The paki has told the same story in different threads but keeps changing the nationalities of the people involved.

same as you more or less

I'd just go for aragorn mode ranger build do you feel me family

goodnight!

he messes up some lines though and doesn't emphasize the right parts.

my mind says yes but I know I'd be fucked, wouldn't be able to survive since I know fuck all.

*jabs fork in my third eye*
Ah, much better

filming that girl in the shower or whatever, from literally years ago when he first gained infamy

I wana say 19th of sept but I honestly don't know

...

>autism space music
holy shit you guys outdo yourselves constantly and im still surprised by how far up the spectrum you get some times
jesus fucking christ

You're the one lying eternal user. Or else you would be able to link to at least one of these threads you lying piece of shit.

sleep tight

imgur.com/gallery/xzl5o

liking this yank slag gimmick

tbf I heard the duane elms one first so thats prolly why I like it more

>he doesnt like storytelling songs

youtube.com/watch?v=F0tamp9XdqU

randomly messaged this girl on one of them apps because her profile was legit bants. seemed like she used the account just to troll complete mongoloids and attention seeking whores. anyway. managed to finally get her reply by writing her name on my chest and using one of my nipples as the O. two weeks later got number and talking every day. she lives literally the other side of the country though. the banter is 10/10, though, never had such smooth flowing banter with a member of the opposite sex. anyway thanks for reading my blog. going to spend a week with her at the start of december. oh she's a solid 8/10 too

feedback and similar situations encouraged, meme responses accepted. thank you

Yeah, I would like that.

This paki is getting a bit mad now his lies have been exposed

This man gets it

oy oy calm down no need for that language

post pics of the convo

wanna see what this so-called "banter" is

how did you even find Cred Forums you fucking sperg

Pipe down, Alan.

LeafyIsHere or Pyrocynical lads?

Gonna wait another half an hour before updating my blog, just to be on the safe side

who /showers every day but showers hair once every 4 years/ here

>talking to girl at work earlier
>she was talking about a guy flipping out in town the other week
>''he was like a rabbit dog
>''what''
>''when dogs go crazy they turn rabbit'''
>mfw

shut the fuck up cretin

bit tough that lad, no matter what he posts it will be easy to humiliate and criticise him regardless and you know it

context is crucial

what a boring story

delete this then yourself

Why is Heroin so popular in Scotland?

Can't they get their hedonism satisfied with alcohol and light drugs alone?

Good for you la

I should probably shampoo my hair less to avoid xenoestrogens but i don't like having greasy hair

imagine being this dull and obtuse of a person.
youtube.com/watch?v=N_ZG6tRGMYk

the sort of people who still watch big brother

you don't put your head under the water?

tfw deliberately say things wrong like "doggy dog world" because it amuses me

what am I like x

Another day Another depression

Lads

Not at all m80. Just waiting for you to post anything substantial to support your claims. Otherwise, you provide a pleasant albeit repetitive entertainment with your posts. The entertainment values comes from knowing that a guy like you would never be able to say anything like that to a guy like me IRL. The magic of the internet!

This.

kek

more popular in wales nowadays iirc

Have a flagless phone (You)

xx

youtube.com/watch?v=8B7xr_EjbzE

this is an anonymous hungarian cow-rearing forum, if he actually cares about being insulted here then he shouldn't be here in the first place

same here, it's classic Icelandic humour to mix up sayings, sentences and letters

Another friday wasted

you are all literally retarded

especially the canadian, interesting how you respond to accusations of autism with black and white thinking e.g. everyone not into jaunty space autism music is a big brother watching normbletron

very interesting indeed

This paki manlet is maaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Gordon Ramsay's brother Fratteryiriji suffered from heroin addiction for years until his family gave up on him and let him go to prison where he died of kidney disease and infected open wounds as long as HIV. To this day Gordon Ramsay has only prescribed heroin to people with severe pain instead of for kicks and hoots

nah m8
thanks la, wishing you all the best.
a smart and likable man

i don't have a shower. I have a bath/shower thing

How tall is Alan?

I would guess maybe as low as 5'6

Those Sociopath Eyes. They explain a lot.

I was trying to think of another term of phrase that I often say wrong on purpose but other people say it wrong by accident sometime but I'm drawing a blank.

its a common one I know that

Haha

get the fuck out of /brit/ you utter gimp

why not

have trouble believing you

definitely the sort of person who gets offended by it is likely a mouthbreather.
sorry if it bothers you sweetie :*

Rasheed?

...

I'm getting more of a 420 vibe

I've never smoked cannabis but I'm having a hard time understanding why it's a class B drug and why it won't be considered for medical use. The yanks and canadians are using it for that.

Is the home office just run by incredibly conservative old people or Christians or something?

>Those Sociopath Eyes. They explain a lot.

thanks that made me smile

have one of my very best pics

anyone else sometimes get the urge to beat the shit out of people?

This is the most reddit post on the day

I imagine it's a mix of people still falling for misinformation and booze company bribes

you are both nerds and your autistic interests are likely to ruin your chances for good jobs and a successful social life as anyone who finds out about your power level is going to think you are autistic

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theresa_May

m8...

...

good night

>not liking space autism music

why?

only people who deserve it. I rarely do though, one of the problems with actually being trained and fairly decent at fighting. If I beat the absolute shit out of everyone who annoys me I'll end up locked up in no time

fkn hate people like this

shut your cunt mouth jesus christ, grow the fuck up.

www.altavista.com/

Replace beating with stabbing people

*trucks you in*

how do i achieve this look?

youtube.com/watch?v=MXPKziYdz8w

please don't

be embarassed if I had a twat like this for a mum

...

Who's feeding these people all this misinformation though?

The real evidence is out there that shows that they're wrong so someone must be pushing these people not to accept it.

dors bien Jacques

>people actually come onto an anime themed website and complain about autistic interests

can't find The Streets on here

don't understand, what happened?

can't find the streets on here

>>not liking space autism music

>why?

>only people who deserve it. I rarely do though, one of the problems with actually being trained and fairly decent at fighting. If I beat the absolute shit out of everyone who annoys me I'll end up locked up in no time

>shut your cunt mouth jesus christ, grow the fuck up

what?

>resorting to fedora posting

reddit confirmed

NEW THREAD

instead of taking her sick baby straight to the doctors she stops for a crucial pouty face picture and facebook post

JINX

"rushing" to urgent care has time to take about 15 selfies and upload the one with the cutest obvious fake sad pouty face for jewbook while her child looks in distress. Either she is putting her child at risk for a selfie or she is full on lying either way she is a cunt.

>child is very sick
>needs to be rushed to hospital
>better take a pic and post it on facebook first *pouty face*

*breaks up the fight*

When I imagine the world ending I always imagining finding a child in need and keeping them safe. I want the same thing I want in my actual life. A family.

that's okay, friend. those are your troubles.
weeeeeew! i just know you reserve this for special occasions. cheers.

>Obama was a healthy, athletic man when he became president
>now looks like he's at death's door
>his two possible successors are unhealthy 70 year olds

Whoever wins the election will be dead this time next year, calling it

:(

ESPECIALLY if its trump
the zog won't let him stay around for long, he'd get too close to exposing the truth
'cap/fedora this post

>the zog

going for a shower lads
wish me luck

>lefties