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Why do you measure your wage by what you earn every hour? Do you not have fixed working hours every day, or are you a cuck that works extra time often?

never understood the point of these

I know the feels. I applied for petrol stations, the employer knew I didn't have experience but I wanted to learn. Went in for the interview yesterday, got thrown 3 hardball questions only someone with experience at a petrol station would answer correctly, "sorry you don't have enough experience to work here" like no shit fuckass, you knew this before the goddamn interview and now you've just wasted everyone's goddamn time.

But I got home and had an email from a different employer looking to hire me and the job is better in nearly every single way so it might have worked out for the better I guess.

>Get the job
>Next day someone more qualified than you applies for your position
>Sorry lad, thanks for all the dick sucking and ball licking, please have your stuff removed by tomorrow

>wtf user when I was a kid back in 1958 I just walked right into the investment banking firm and asked for an executive position, they knew I was just starting my career and had a lot to offer :^) just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and b urself :^)

OP I realise you're probably using a lot of hyperbole there, but holy shit. What kind of jobs are you applying for where you have to jump through that many hoops? Usually throughout applications and at job interviews my biggest annoyances are just the usual shit like:
>Can't ask what the pay is like without breaking a completely arbitrary and contrived convention. Apparently wanting to make money is considered undesirable, even though the business you're applying for a job with started up for that very reason.
>You basically have to lie. If you tell the truth, nobody will appreciate your honesty, even though you will say things about yourself that anybody interviewing you will immediately see in themselves.
>They expect you to believe that they want to fit your shifts to your availability, even though both of you know that they won't bother with you unless you're prepared to sacrifice your personal life for your job. Difficult circumstances or prior commitments be damned.
>You'll be expected to to be loyal to a business that will pay you as little as is legally possible and that will throw you under a bus the second it suits them to do so. Worse still, they'll expect you to be grateful for the """opportunity""".
Fuck I need to win powerball or something.

Why didn't you get a job when you were 15 like a normal person?

I don't know what field OP is in, but his description is exactly what I've found looking for a job as a CS grad. Not exaggerating at all.

Really?
>4 years experience minimum
>Background training in line with minimum mandatory experience
>14 non-personal references
>5000 word selection criteria
All of that, to the letter? Because that sounds like a hell of a lot of fucking about when you consider that there's a good chance that whoever receives your application is going to immediately bin it just so they have fewer applications to go through.

>NEET
>go to apply for jobs
>"we are looking for a hard-working and enthusiastic individual who enjoys a challenge to work in a fast-paced and busy environment..."
>close tab

>tfw my latest attempt is being a library shelver for $50,000 a year

T-THIS IS THE ONE

THIS JOB WAS MADE FOR ME

That's just gap filler put out there by the borderline retards that work in HR land. Seriously those dickheads couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel if they were holding a handful of fifties.

>>Can't ask what the pay is like without breaking a completely arbitrary and contrived convention. Apparently wanting to make money is considered undesirable, even though the business you're applying for a job with started up for that very reason.
You are supposed to google the industry standard and assume that's what you'll get, then be an awesome employee so you have maximum leverage at the end of your probation period.
>>You basically have to lie. If you tell the truth, nobody will appreciate your honesty, even though you will say things about yourself that anybody interviewing you will immediately see in themselves.
It's about differentiating yourself from the other interviewees. Everyone gets the same questions and the interviewer is looking for new exciting shit.
"what do you think you can bring to this company?"
"I am exempt from Jury duty because I got myself ordained at an online ministry and now I can do Weddings, Baptisms and Funerals in about 40 US states... and I am exempt from jury duty here"
>>They expect you to believe that they want to fit your shifts to your availability, even though both of you know that they won't bother with you unless you're prepared to sacrifice your personal life for your job. Difficult circumstances or prior commitments be damned.
Implying that you would hire a new employee who might be shit or might be good, but needs to take his kitten to juvenile feline arthritis treatments twice a day.
>>You'll be expected to to be loyal to a business that will pay you as little as is legally possible and that will throw you under a bus the second it suits them to do so. Worse still, they'll expect you to be grateful for the """opportunity""".
It's also an opportunity for you to embed yourself as indispensable, then threaten to walk unless they double your pay.

Having said that though... they reckon job interviews are decided in the first 12 seconds so step 1 be attractive, step 2, don't be unattractive

>library shelver
>50k a year
What the fuck? That can't be right. They must be hiding something or you must be hiding something. Nobody would just give out a job that easy for that much money.

That would be full time every day a week, it's actually a casual position for half that

A man can dream

>those dickheads couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel if they were holding a handful of fifties
kek

This
Just apply anyways. If you're willing to work most places will take you so you can be just another cog to earn some money.
Just be sure to appear nice, and pleasant in the interview.

>tfw padding my CV with bullshit but not too much bullshit

walking a fine line here lads

Start your own business

So.... what was the position?
Your wages are ridiculously high though, you're playing in easy mode, don't be a fag and go get another job

I did an online dual diploma in Business and Managment. The HR modules were so tedious and frustrating, imagine having to write one of those codes of conduct every company makes you sign when you start... you know it's all just bullshit.

So I just got totally fuckeyed and drunkenly mashed the keyboard, ended up putting really dumb shit in there like
>employees will not stab customers

get my feedback:
> user , your Code is interesting, creative and slightly disturbing. For a moment I was wondering if in fact you were trying to check that I actually read it all !
>You have certainly added humour to what can be a very dry subject.

>You are supposed to google the industry standard and assume that's what you'll get
Except that even when you go to the workcover website and follow their questions it can still be difficult to establish what your award is exactly because you will be asked a few questions that you just won't know the answer to. Stuff that even your bosses won't know off the top of their head, or will at least pretend they don't know.
>It's about differentiating yourself from the other interviewees.
You say differentiating, I say gap filling. It's just more shit by HR to make it look like they're doing something other than taking up an office that could be used for something more productive like a storage room or a cockfighting arena.
>>Implying that you would hire a new employee who might be shit or might be good, but needs to take his kitten to juvenile feline arthritis treatments twice a day.
Now you're just being obtuse. You know good and well that some people have obligations that aren't something stupid like taking care of a cat. Even if they don't, fuck it. The world doesn't revolve around your work or your boss.
>It's also an opportunity for you to embed yourself as indispensable, then threaten to walk unless they double your pay.
Fine, but that will only work if you truly are indespensible, which chances are you won't be. Even the hardest of workers are still completely replaceable.
>they reckon job interviews are decided in the first 12 seconds so step 1 be attractive, step 2, don't be unattractive
Sounds pretty fair. I can't imagine that not working out for anybody at all. Really though why would you rush to defend people that treat other people that way? Do you own a business or work in HR?

>Your wages are ridiculously high though, you're playing in easy mode, don't be a fag and go get another job
They are high, but the issue is that there just isnt enough damn jobs. Between an effective healthcare system that keeps the baby boomers alive, outsourcing jobs to other cunts for cheap and the governments irrational fear of creating industry, there just ins't enough jobs being vacated for the thousands of teenagers who are leaving school and entering the workforce every year.

What's frustrating is after you've worked at a few places you come to the realization that you're probably by far the better candidate than the lazy cunts that end up getting these jobs.

It seems to me that everyone does the bare minimum necessary to not get fired and nothing more.

>difficult to establish what your award is exactly
This is only a problem if you are way off. Do you have debts of like $800 a week? don't apply for a dishwashing job because even without googling it I know that you won't make enough money. If you are looking to be a bank teller, you can assume it's somewhere around the $6-800 mark. Does this suit your needs? can you do 3 months on $600 a week then hit them up for more cash later?
> I say gap filling. It's just more shit by HR
If you ask curveball questions as an interviewer, you get an insight into the honest person, not their interview persona. One of the best managers I knew used to ask, "how messy is your bedroom?"
If you give curveball answers, you stand out in the interviewer's mind after the interview is over. You can start from the very beginning if you want,
"how are you today user?"
"I'm okay, I got bitten by a dog though"
> people have obligations
And the boss has an obligation to hire awesome employees who make him lots of money, and people who drop everything to work hard are good at this.
> Sounds pretty fair. I can't imagine that not working out for anybody at all.
It's just a human instinct. It's not so much about being handsome as much as it is about looking the part. If someone turns up in an Armani suit to a job interview as a diesel mechanic, instinctively you will spend the remainder of the interview searching for a reason to not like them
> Do you own a business or work in HR?
Did a dual diploma because I decided I needed something to tart up my resume, but I have held management jobs in the past and can see it's all bullshit.

Our unemployment rate is almost twice as high as yours, so you can imagine what's it like trying to get a job here. Your options (before having experience) quite literally without exaggeration are: get a job through parents, study until you get at least a masters or start working full time without any pay until you have enough work experience to get hired.

HOW TO BECOME A CIVIL SERVANT IN FRANCE

>first of all, have a master's degree (you can have a lesser degree, but it's not advised) to pass the exams

>step 1: written exams--you have to write 5 compositions of 4 to 5 hours each, like: 1) public law, 2) economics, 3) international relations, 4) public finance, 5) political science (level: hard as fuck, even if you have a master's degree in the discipline)

>step 2: three oral exams on complicated stuff (EU law, etc.) + a foreign language exam + maybe sport

>step 3: the actual job interview, IN PUBLIC, where they send you a lot of shit tests, judge you on your past obviously, and expect you to have answers about just anything (pub quiz style: who is the current president of Colombia? what is a pschent? who was Trygve Haavelmo? who won the Battle of Cannae? what are the neighboring countries of Laos?)

>if they don't think you were good at the job interview, the best marks at the previous exams won't save you (so they're basically useless)

>all this for a job that pays around €2,000 per month, to be some shitty bureaucrat (you're paid for life though)

I'm literally not exaggerating. This is what you get when you want to "succeed", because earning €2,300 in France is literally "success". Your parents are proud of you, etc. Fuck this shitty country.

I sometimes can't even manage that тbh
At some point I just gave up trying to find a decent paying job and have decided to rise up the ranks in hospitality. But even getting a job at a decent restaurant is prohibitively difficult.

>I have held management jobs in the past and can see it's all bullshit.
Weird.

>sport

Insult to injury

And once they hire you you spend the rest of your life with your feet on your desk with a guaranteed salary.

And I forgot the best part: even if you succeed at all the "pub quiz" tests in the job interview, even if you do everything right... they have no obligation to give you a good mark.

They can just give you 3/20 because you "had a bitter tone", or "lacked experience in management", or "weren't motivated despite your impressive knowledge", or any kind of bullshit really.

They don't even have to provide a justification. You think it went okay, you answered correctly at every question, they smiled to you... but they gave you 5/20 for some reason. Bam. Eliminated. Doesn't matter if you have 17/20 (which is genius-tier) in most written compositions. You're dead... And the results are given in December, which means you just wasted a whole year for nothing, with no possibility to go back to college since it's too late.

You've got to be hired first. Good luck. The usual contest (because it's a contest, it's called like that) has several thousands candidates for 45 or 68 positions to fill in the end. Sometimes only 15 or 18 positions.

It doesn't seem to be doing wonders for the country

It's pretty terrible. We're in full overload of civil servants by the way (thank baby boomers), with 20% of the workforce being civil servants.

And horrible civil servants at that, since they can chimp out ad libitum, go on strike, botch up the job, lie and cheat, work only two or three hours per day... and still be paid for life with no consequences.

The system is impossible to overhaul, since it will be general strike (with the whole country paralysed: garbage collectors, trains, schools, everything would just stop) if you even try to suppress their tiny privileges.

Only a revolution, an economic collapse, a war, or something major like that would be able to fix the situation.

>just do security brooo x^))) it's the easiest job ever xDDD

>spend ~300 for training and license
>all jobs want related experience

JUST

>live in Germany
>write 3 application letters for 3 companies
>getting all 3 firm offers few days later

Dunno. If you're somewhat qualified you can get a job in no time. Especially in IT there's a huge demand. But even working in lower jobs like in a restaurant you can clear 2000$ (1300~1500 Euro) easily.

Story for my first job:
>"Well, your attitude seems promising"
>"I don't know if I can keep up to your standards here. I've gained just experience in University projects and in private. That's what I'm kinda afraid of."
>"You can always learn. We try it out, alright?"

>Especially in IT there's a huge demand

I made the mistake of thinking that here. I was interested in IT back in highschool, did a course in IT, seen the demand and nope'd out. Every fuck and his dog wanted to get into IT then because they thought "Computers and internet are da future", I bet fucking all of them wasted their money pursuing that shit because our IT sector is so underdeveloped.

That's what happens when half your population are old people

Socialism, not even once

>Turn 18 and graduate HS
>Decide to get a job
>Apply online as an LP at a local Ross
>Get an interview, come overdressed and nervous as fuck through the whole thing
>They tell me it's not even an entry level job
>Get it anyway a couple weeks later
>Make $10.50 an hour standing around all day doing nothing while my coworkers have to handle the registers and merchandise for less than what I get paid
Feels good man

Just look for local security offices and do a walk in, you'll probably get hired

soon enough the boomers will retire hopefully.

im trying to get a IEP licence to pass the councillor in foreign affairs, i know the secretaries are all reserved for ENA graduates so i hope to get through the small door. i fear the contest will REALLY be clogged.