/brit/

think i might criticize lidl on twitter to get on tv

rich ponces

Yee

Pool, lake, ocean or river?

bloody germans stealing our economy I thought we had bloody left the EU I bloody did

criticise tesco instead

@64984753
meant the pool silly

Dinner lads

so did i

>chilling at my mates earlier
>mate gets a phone call from our m8 who's gone to australia for a year
>i speak to him over the line, it's crystal clear with no delay as if i'm talking to some guy 10 miles away

how is this possible? how can a voice travel 10,000 miles in an instant?

Both those girls on the left look like complete bitches, and you know it gets worse when they start talking

lap-swimming at an outdoor pool, nice and sunny today too
it'll probably be busy though

satellites my man

scotland truly is beautiful

too bad it's full of uptight liberal twats

thats the speed of light for ya lad

fuck you now i'm hungry. gizza slice lad?

Get there early and try to grab your own lane

I'm planning on heading to my local for laps tomorrow morning too after the footy

the sound waves travel to a satellite which converts the sound to light which is then sent to your mates phone which translates the light wave frequency into audio frequencies

>4:00 AM

ah yes, time for bed

I agree.

dude technology lmao

even radios sort of blow my mind a little bit and I know their inner workings pretty well since I used to fiddle around with them and built one

like you can get all that information on a beam on light over miles is nuts.

technology is just so magical even if you know how it works, even more so when you don't really.

*sucks your clitty*

how do i filter canada

another wall

elect trump

>why yes i am icelandic

try another general sweetie

I've been a sandwich fucker for 10 years now and want to stop. The problem is that the group of fast food fuckers that I hang out with don't like me now and if I took my Burger King crown that I wear in public off, they would probably beat me up and kill me. My last sandwich (a cute spicy chicken w/ sauce) gave me severe diarrhea and hemorrhoids on my ass and now I have a hard time taking a shit. Sometimes I have to take an Ex-lax so my shit will come out easy.

I've never had sex with a girl, because I don't know how to pick them up. That's why I fuck dollar menu sandwiches. But now I'm just tired of breaded chicken ripping my cock when they don't have enough mayo for lubrication. I've had to get stitches three times. I went out with a sandwich shagger last night who said he only gives, he doesn't receive, so I had to buy his sandwich and he made me eat it or he would kick my ass.

- Tony, Age 20, Austin, Texas

>Yanks

Anybody of Mexican decent living in the US should kill themselves

>"""American""" posters will disagree

fuck off yank

>poleaboo is still here but pretended to go to sleep 6 hours ago

nightclubs are going to be mental when VR is perfected and they make insanely realistic amospheres in their clubs and we're all doing some futuristic superdrugs

youtube.com/watch?v=NAdlZ2F-fs8

tfw no 90s grunge gf

anywhere north of plymouth is the north

goddamn

canadians really living up to their reputation ITT holy shit

aw shit i accidentally posted in the wrong thread

the linked post will explain everything.... don't read the rest of this post until you read the post that was linked.

ok. got it? anywho, goodnight and i bid you adieu~

(winona is beckoning)

just made the linked post redundant heh but yeah anyway im outta here. good night, i bid you adieu~

lol

...

postponing the poo i planned to take tonight until later on in the week

>spending an hour watching a life in the day of Reviewbrah

*stares the boy in his eyes, grasps his hand, kneels down and kisses his hand*

:)

you mean as lovable kind people :^)

>Theresa may isn't going to lower taxes (She's even for cigarette taxes and crap like that)
>Theresa may isn't for privatisation
Why is she the leader of the conservative party again? Fuck this cunt.

...

me in the middle
i.4cdn.org/gif/1474080089125.webm

>discussing politics

fuck off

r8 my gf

>being a neet

fuck off

Lads

don't give a shite

why haven't you spoken to your local representative about CETA yet?

Annoying runt of a cunt.

what is the difference between shite and shit?

...

shite is what you chat
and shit is what i'll kick out of you

thought it was chat shit get banged

>someone killed themselves over her

I don't blame them

youtube.com/watch?v=W3mJTdGE79I

she's pretty great

she doesn't look particularly icelandic

look at that black nigger holy shit

what do you mean?

all icelanders look like that

it's keep it up yank and i'll kick seven shades of shit out of ye

statistically this poster is not white

I'm black muafucka, ima shoot yo ass

i've always wondered if she was part eskimo or summit

she's worth it
youtube.com/watch?v=A8A9e4Lp0N0

*unloads my glock on you*
*reloads*
*unloads yet another magazine at you*
*puts handcuffs on you*

she is

fake and gay

she probably has inuit or finnish mongoloid genes in her, although she states otherwise

i've actually watched a majority of that footage he shot out of bemusement.

he seemed quite normal but had a few psychopathic behviours, such as explaining about him lying to his brother just to give him a false impression

nah m8 it's real

*claims it was racially motivated police brutality*
*wins and gets 2 million dollars*
*you get a death sentance for being white*

his last words were
errugghghghghghgg

...

look at his skull fucking bulge from the bullet
in the video you can hear him sputter and groan as he dies
Bjork is so qt bald
I want to lick her head.

read 20 pages of the textbook in 3 days lol

bit slow aren't i

that's because the brits are asleep

this 2bqh

imagine trying to stalk someone in the 90s

you'd have to read magazines and shit

on my way home now from dublin

imagine taking the effort of learning to make a bomb without the internet and then actually make and send it

Met a girl tonight who said I had nice eyes and that we should get to know each other over coffee. Really glad about this lads, feeling nice :)

not let her take your abnormality

she probably went home and had a threesome with tyrone and jamal while you're sat on Cred Forums with your little white baby dick in your hand

Met a boy tonight who I said had nice eyes and that we should get to know each other over coffee. Have no plans to go through with it hahaha

Haha cheeky x

r8 my dindins

girl at the front desk of my psychiatrist's practice knows my name now

why are Yanks so bitter and sexually disturbed?

Why do women not like beer?

the only time my hands don't shake is when i've been drinking. attempting to button up a shirt sober is difficult. pretty obvious i have a bad alcohol dependency hahahaha

women are plebs

>read post
>canadian flag
Ah yes

done a poo lads :P

I don't want a girlfriend anymore lads

that leaves more for me! ahahaha, amarite? innit?
yeah... i don't actually drink though

Are single moms really a deal breaker?

want a beard but cant grow one hahaha

yes

Do you not go to bars? What do you do on weekend nights?

yes

unless you are a paedo of course

normie twat fuck off

I won't lad... Think she may have given her number to someone else as she left so I'm not pinning anything to it but it'd be cool to go out for coffee with her

i don't go to bars

>i don't drink

Honestly? Iceland is probably the best poster

after me

icelad is witty and insightful

i shagged a 37 year old art teacher when i was 19 when we were both off our tits on MDMA and coke and i texted her a few days later and she told me in no uncertain terms never to contact her again lmao. pretty uptight for a bitch who put an ecstasy pill straight into my mouth and expected me to fucking swallow it without water or anything

wish i could have sex with winona ryder like that yank

good luck though

i'm sure most of you guys deserve to be happy

what a fine fellow icelad is.

I'm going to assume you don't go out since you deliberately dodged my question about what you do on weekends

Shake Shack is overrated desu, burgers are too thin and greasy. I don't know why fast food places can't make a real burger

iceland more like niceland

Weird thing is she was fully sober and I was drunk (she doesn't drink) so fuck knows.

no idea what i am doing

but ill try to keep it up

go to sleep

y/n

i only leave my house for work or education

Hillary Clinton, former FLOTUS and current presumptive POTUS, has her website posting rants against Pepe the frog. Fucking Pepe. Cred Forums rules the world and someday you will be telling your grandchildren that you posted here.

Reaffirming my belief you're a good poster. Would probably give you a cheeky cuddle if I met you in person x

nah

i already tell my mum i post here

what's your favoruitre animal lads

mines the kangaroo

>Lad tries telling everyone on the night out that I post here

i get a bit sentimental late at night when i'm tired

My cousin from Australia is a huge autist lol the guy also posts on Cred Forums or so I've heard from my aunts conversations with my mum

redditfrog has nothing to do with this website, fuck off

albatross

they're always portrayed as dicks in nature documentary and i always tend to sympathise with the villain, that's why i like hitler and satan

bit tired to be honest with you

Hmm.. Probably the Tiger desu. I remember when I was really little I was trying to prove to my mum how much I loved tigers so I asked what her favourite thing in the world was, she said it was happiness and I said mine was tigers haha

Girl in the club tried coming over and dancing near me after I looked at her too much so I pretended to go for a pee hahaha

So what does Cred Forums think of berserk

the only thing that keeps me going sometimes is knowing that i have a canadian cousin who's even more of a loser than me

the Rattlesnake or Vipers in general

if i could have sex with one woman in the world it would be winona ryder, pretty jealous of that yank ngl

nice try reddit

...

Business idea: put #blacklivesmatter in your tinder bio to attract a black gf before 2016 ends

coming to a conclusion

*sneezes near you*
youtube.com/watch?v=ZcbUtN74YT4

weirds me out when I see a white person abroad and they don't speak english

cats

Quebec

Could've easily been bitten by a red-belly snake today lads. Was only about a metre away when I noticed it. It was slithering through some long grass in my direction while I was out jogging. Scared the fuck out of me.

REALLY need a poo

>abroad
and I speak French

>I speak French
You one of them... queer-o-sexuals?

fucking do one you simpering frog

lads i've just done a poo, now i'm hankerin' for a wankerin' desu

that's why I didn't mention it

Got $50 left-over on this pre-paid visa card lads. What should I buy?

LE EPIK REDDITFROG LE RARE PEPE XDDD f

fuck off

I'm not a frog poster, but it has roots in old Cred Forums whether you like it or not.

yea honestly,
while I think its really funny that some meme image is the biggest threat to Democracy I've been sick of >le froge for a long time now and only mongs still post it as if its funny.

*HIYAH!*

just karate chopped you

*teleports behind you*
*pulls your pants down and runs away*

>learning french just to appease a french minority that rule over you

Fucking Canada

sounds horrible mate

nearly got bit by my cat today when he wanted a play fight

>have a group assignment with a dutch exchange student
>spend a lot of the time fixing grammatical errors.

ahh yes. Scary considering the dutch are supposed to be one of if not the best group of people at speaking English as a second language.

itching for a good fight

ironically, the democrats are the greatest threat to democracy

*knocks you out with one punch to the jaw*

was it as good for you as it was for me x?

other way round mes amis :^)

First time I've seen a snake up close outside of an enclosure 2bh. Just had to be a big spooky black one.

once saw a snake swimming around very close to me when i was diving in the sea

was a bit spooked

did you know icelandic boipussy is naturally skin colored? no bleach necessary

where the fuck do you live that has snakes already? It's september cunt.

>three-dimensional snake path radius
NOPE

Was out in bush land.

slab of piss and a pack of winnie blues

Who /allnighter/ here?

clearly you, runt

*puts the runts into hufflepuff*

glad there aren't many venomous snakes here but I like snakes in general

Well, yes.

*sun rises*
*you feel like an utter failure*

not missing this since getting my shit sorted 2bh

pDosig as: {Amderig.dir} dr-ritt$

did u just hack me

Rasheed spotted

yes, uploading every Cred Forums post you've ever made to your facebook now

It's 3pm m8 so clearly not you

are you going to make me a facebook too?

>browsing through a "new wave" playlist on youtube
>half the songs aren't even new wave
yes excellent very impressive

got something in me eye

yes, and i'm going to add your mum, and your nan

I've unironically had invasive eye surgery like that before, no shrapnel embedded in my eyeball though
Recovery is hell

*shines a torch at your recovering eye*

wahey haha

*can't see it because my eyes are coated in antiseptic paste*

I'll sleep when I'm dead lmao.

i had my willy stitched up once and couldn't wank for a few weeks, i think i win

you'll need stitches when i'm through with you sunshine

shitbuggering cuntflaps

>bashing Coons every afternoon
what did he mean by this?

Got a 150 microgram tab under my tongue right now

youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To
tunerino

*does a think*
*punches you in the throat*
hehe

>tfw a girl literally tried to be your gf
>didn't go for it
>she was chubby and kind of annoying and generally a mess
>but could've stuck my willy in her
>would still be mixed up in her disaster of a life
>but at least i wouldn't be a virgin
>did i do wrong?
these are the thoughts that keep me up at night lads

*can't feel it because i'm turnt on vicodin*
I AM INVINCIBLE

*teleports behind you*

*stabs you with a machete*

heh... i dont think so.... kid...

That's not how you use meme arrows. Can't stand it when plankton like you try to attract my attention with false meme arrows

real question for the yanks here

why do you post in /brit/? are you one of those cringeworthy anglophiles who tells everyone they drink tea and watch doctor who?

i've got your meme arrow right here
*grabs crotch*

have a rush on my butt cheek and an even bigger rash on my front pubes

they don't even itch but they hurt like a bitch. it feels like i'm being stuck with hot needles every few seconds

it's been a week and they haven't gone away. i think they're starting to heal though. i wish i knew how i got it / what it is

/cum/ is full of canadians and mexicans and anime

I'm only an anglophile on the internet.

Brit on vacation here

>vacation

you can't fool me sunshine

need an anglophile yank gf who was willing to settle for me because being australian is close enough to being british

>blaming the condiments for a bad burger

>you can't fool me sunshine
Oh but I can

did i give you permission to respond to me?

She wouldn't be able to tell the difference 2bqh

you have no power here Gandalf the gay

listening to the pogues lads

youtube.com/watch?v=q9AoGc-OTCk
this is how australians actually live in 2016

>the day after hitting the squats hard at the gym

yes she could, australians are taller, tanned, and generally better looking than brits

Australian men are superior to brits to begin with.

are you including us in this post? if so fuck you the queen is on our coins

me in the video

hey big boy ;)

hillary's campaign is unironically over

the union jack is no on your flag though laddie

>are you including us in this post? if so fuck you the queen is on our coins

not our fault a frog cuck got into the PM's residence a couple of times in the 60s

are you fucking retarded? thats a chinaman moving to america lmfao

I don't see you people clamouring for a return to the old flag.

because everyone who remembers the old one is dead or senile.

its disgusting that we did away with the flag that we fought under in ww1 and ww2 but hey what are you gonna do about republicans except draw and quarter them?

canadians are scum of the earth
they're quick to say that they're /really/ british, but then they'll say that they're just like americans when it suits them, all while maintaining that they're cultural special snowflakes who are nothing like americans

I'm a north american subject of the queen and commonwealth member, get over it.

Pearson is as Anglo as they come
and changing the flag was the right move

glad they changed it in the 60s
imagine having a vote for a new flag today? would be covered in absolute wank

feel bad for Aussies when they change their flag since all the popular suggestions are horrible.

The aussies wont though because theyre not cucks

you pick whichever identity suits you at the moment, then deride the other identities until you need to change again

>its disgusting that we did away with the flag that we fought under in ww1 and ww2
we didn't actually, its an official flag still, though in the past it was never the official flag.

who gave this runt permission to continue making music?

fb.com/shannonnoll/videos/10154436819772394/

Australia will become a Republic before they change their flag
Canada will keep the monarchy even after the UK gets rid of it.

i've never identified as an american in my life. just because canadian society is geographically similar to american one doesn't mean shit. I dont subscribe to american values, politics or anything except media really. And all anglos consume anglo culture from the 4 corners of the earth.

australia is pretty keked m8

what are you yanks and psuedo-yanks arguing about now?

doing a pee

the only unique thing about canada is how much they say they aren't like americans

I want to be American desu
it sucks here

whether canadians are yanks or anglos [they're yanks]

>60% white and dropping quickly
>elected a nigger TWICE
>gay marriage
>safe spaces
>hilllary clinton

ahh yes. The only thing not c*cked about the United States is the ability to own a fire arm.

shannon noll was cheated out of winning Australian Idol by Guy Cheatbastian

choon
youtube.com/watch?v=6KgjmDVD-CY

there is a fundamental difference in how we think.. if you want to put it this way, canadians are loyalist americans... we're americans that decided to remain loyal to the idea of a british north america. However most anglo canadians are not actually loyalists from america, but there are a few.

they're yanks who think they're anglos*

does new zealand have its own idol? Are kiwis forced to watch all of our reality shit?

Does every kiwi wish they lived in the superior country next to them?

Probably

The only reason I know that is because I was born and raised in Australia tb h

what's the differences between canada and us? won't americans speak chinese?

anyone want a spot of land on me?

was honestly shocked when i found out how many maoris there were in New Zealand

>right next to the spic border

no thanks

Just wait until you find out how many Maoris are in Australia

>.5 acres

just enough land to build a runt dungeon under a mcMansion

3am, gotta be up in 3 and a half hours haha

>tim still seems to be making no effort to move out

ah yes

none in melbourne, they only go to live in the gold coast for some reason.

they have low tax
a more assertive attitude and better business culture for entrepreneurs (people are more willing to take risks with their money, natural gamblers)
more diverse landscape and basically the entire country is livable and populated without being super dense.
politically more active (the people are, and more alternative politics)
can basically do anything and there's someplace for everyone.

america next to the canadian border is the height of its comfiness

northern vermont, new hampshire and maine is the greatest place on earth imo

business idea: build a fence around it and prosecute trespassers

only good US states are in the northeast, northwest and florida 2bh

*looks at watch*
Ahh, I'll be seeing you later boys

Florida is too hot and primordial

NM is really comfy
second best desert state after Nevada

You're only saying that cause they're white, racist.

I have never known the touch of a woman lads

CLICK THIS FUCKING LINK

AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

florida is terrible. especially south florida. never ending urban sprawl hugging the I-95 filled with niggers and spics

I got up a few hours ago and I'm bored

wank or apply to a job that I probably won't get.

hmm

>too hot
>pom flag

'no'

anything over 23 degrees is too hot

look at you'reself mate

i heard australia has laws against refusing to do your chores LMAO

meme tier opinion

>florida
dubya tee eff m8?

>its against the law for a man to ask for divorce in Australia
>yelling is considered rape

*retrieves document from folder*

ah yes

here it s

*puts on reading glasses*

ahem

I present:

The Relative Experiences of Angto-Saxons Exposed to the Celcius Scale in various parts of the Empire, 1899

i'm looking at ur mum lmao

commuting suicide by qt

*action posts*

...

Wish I had a Jennie gf tbqh

Yanks are like aliens trying to mimick humans
youtube.com/watch?v=pZhV63pkDBw

And all I do is miss you, and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, and bad company
And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme
Juliet I'd do the stars with you anytime

bake
da
cake

>heard

ahh yes, love this reliable source.

*teleports behind the thread*

she's making a meer cake, but it has no meerkat in it? My captcha had a road sign for Kingston Bagpuize as well a town i had never heard of, why is this? Surely I would have heard of this place before?

saw a girl who looked like maisie today lads

more like you saw a girl who looked like quasimodo lmao

Hahaha what a post!

me on the bottom left

i mean it lads you ever need somebody offed whose throat is it

youtu.be/47PL6jcvgBs?t=22m55s

does brit like metal?

*types up a long well thought out post*
*deletes it all*
ah yes

I do but mostly everyone else only listens to trashy EDM and poorly produced generic rap

youtube.com/watch?v=o-5W9uITv7Y

blink 182 were unironically a great band

a man and his girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at one at a side of road. he turn to his girl and says:
"baby, i love u very much"
"what is it honey?"
"our car is broken down. i think the engine in broken. ill walk and get some more fuel."
"ok. ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news reports of steres being stolen"
"good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty"

so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, we was supposed to be back by now" . then the girl here a scratching sound and a voice say "LET ME IN"

the girl doesnt do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and a man door hand hook car door

>listens to Fat Lip
>still remembers all the words
They were good.

THAILAAAAAD

...

*pulls your chair out from under you*

*falls flat on my bum*
*starts crying*

NEW