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first for feet
me im the best im number one hahahah
drinking coke zero
not literally, of course though. what kind of faggot would do that?
National Anarchy ftw.
D E L E T E T H I S
IM THE BEST IM NUMBER ONE "1"
Post yfw you realised that Jeb really was /ourguy/
might try the pomodoro technique
Gibe topics related to gender.
>captcha: Luftreinhaltung (air in-holding)
I GOT BROADS IN ATLANTA
I GOT BROADS IN CHINYA
JEB BUSH MAKING GUAC AND HYNA
he was the guy who was going to show that democrats are the real racists. really makes you hmmm.
>tfw no thrash metal/jew york gf
>tell myself no anime until after I've been productive
>I've done nothing all day and still no anime
Make the depression stooooop!!!
lookit dem yoyo's, thats the way you do it
ew icky gross
try the pomodoro technique
who /drinking/ here?
bouts to slam a 12 pack harder than Michael Jordan in Space Jam
>tfw no qt long island jewish italian gf
>ew icky gross
don't ever post in my thread again
Get her icky gross all over me
I do this too.
Why are you masturbating to dead or alive?
the shittiest of tastes
>tfw Jew women can take care of you
I like this idea
>tfw T Sway is bae (babe)
>tfw neither so tall nor handsome as hell
the shittiest of North America
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU
I just had a glass of 2% milk
why AREN'T you?
I have spent all day contemplating doing my homework
If only I had a qt British gf to motivate me and help me with my work
I just had a glass of 100 percent milk
my name is pat mustard and i approve this message
Because my daughter is still awake.
Drink soy milk instead
What's the gayest thing you've done?
I've shoved a hair brush up my ass while masturbating
>there are dairy farmers posting in /cum/ RIGHT NOW
How dare you impersonate me you piss of shit?!
milk is best drink
who the fucjk /asexual/ here
hit that motherfugging submit button
just figured out how to reply to someone without actually replying to them
WHAT THE FUCK
my waifu is british , very distracting
I was in a theatrical production of Little Shop of Horrors in high School
Anal masturbation is not gay
I wish I had been born on a farm so I could have had a nice local wife and a simple life working the land
Dude. Calm down. This is the internet. Nobody is pretending to be anybody.
I auditioned for and didn't get a part in my high school production of Little Shop of Horrors.
Why is a British woman at an American sporting event wearing a shirt for an American band?
check this comment
and look at the first reply
What's wrong with that?
I was the puppeteer for Audrey 1
because Brits can't into niggerball or thrash metal
A FUCKING thespian
Oh, I mean, I got a small role, but I was the fucking lead in the production before that. They couldn't even give me the dentist role?
How High is an indusputable classic
>they couldnt even give me the dentist role
thats the main role, you doofus
British women belong to American cock
y do girls hve buttz>
Why is /cum/ so thirsty for British women
Yeah, fuck Seymour, right? I'm still pissed about that musical, in case you couldn't tell.
because they're super cute
>someone's filtering any http connection coming from my computer to the internet
That's only you mate.
Sad to see you leaf
because they must become our subordinates
we will conquer that puny little island and their (our) women
Who /buckeyenation/ here?
what is this unholy creation
football is for fags
>no curves whatsoever
It'd be like fucking a boy.
Bullshit. I pretend to be aubrey plaza on twitter
>tfw embarassing U. Texas in front of the entire nation
Just took a big poop buds
VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE
>tfw Vikings fan
If they win tonight, I will shitpost on Cred Forums for the rest of the season.
>Who /buckeyenation/ here?
Nice upset yesterday
They are thirsty for us
They're adorable too
>not wearing Boy London so you can be a stylish wehraboo
Having one of those dehydrated shits where the poos sticks
Gonna be a while on the toilet
>tfw my team lost to an FCS team last week
>mfw Urban wins the natty again this year
He's already shown himself to be one of the all time great coaches
>implying Texas is good rn
Thanks pham, I was nervous at the start of the season but after they lost to Houston I felt very confident
>>no curves whatsoever
>It'd be like fucking a boy.
Welcome to the Thunderdome
>/cum/ during school hours:
"What do you believe are the greatest contributions to philosophy and literature?"
>/cum/ after high school gets out
"Poop! Haha! Should I eat it? Looooool football is for fags! Jej!"
they were ranked 11th in the nation
granted, the ranking system is pants on head retarded
E M M A
shame she is a massive feminist
Damn I feel like a boy
I liked her when she was 12.
>"What do you believe are the greatest contributions to philosophy and literature?"
I work construction you fag
It's like people who work for a living actually enjoy shits ting at night and people who want to do nothing all day want to explore ideas they aren't educated informed well enough to actually earn a monetary gain for
>"What do you believe are the greatest contributions to philosophy and literature?"
good thing I dont care. Ive already learned to zone out when my sister goes off about feminism, I can do the same with her and just stare into her eyes
>not a flash and circle
I got someone fired today
I'm a baker who really should be in bed right now.
How is it
I NEED to eat a shit
Education is its own reward.
Only numales are affected by feminists
Did they deserve it, or did your fuck up cost them the job?
>tfw the hawkeyes blew it against an FCS team
At least Nebraska helped recover the B1G image a little bit
It is tbqh, FSU was number 2 until the upset prolly because Jimbo Fisher got his KKK lynch squad to threaten the people in charge of the rankings.
I don't believe Bama is the best team in the country since they almost lost to Ole Piss again
>we will never get head from Emma
I shart on Canadian gravestones
delet this, she is pure
I mean it's not your average FCS team, I read somewhere they'd be favorite against 40 FBS programs and like 8 P5 programs like Kansas, Wake Forest, Oregon St
Made me feel a little better
Idk m8, it's a fact non white dick has been in her, she had Asian bfs
True, someone said NDSU is comparable to the 07 App State team that beat scUM
>this Vikings game
What do you believe are the greatest contributions to philosophy and literature?
>Tfw App St almost beat Tennessee in OT
>watching hand egg
what about it
Hentai and Superman comics
You're all absolutely stupid as fuck
>mfw the whole SEC is garbage now besides Bama
B1G has retaken the throne
t. Pats """""""fan""""""" living in chicago
rate my ringtone lads
All sum up all the philosophy and literature anyone ever needs to read in three words.
The Holy Bible
I live in rockford and dont like sports
2 minutes left, niggas!!!!
rate my ringtone boys
>The "Holy" Bible
annex chicago please
Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.
 And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.
 Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.
 And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.
football is a reddit thing you fag
Who here smokes hops?
Good portions of the bible are just a ripoff of ancient greek mythology. Larger portions still are made up of pagan beliefs simple respun to suit the church's needs.
>I watch football
some people here are stupid
fuck off redditor
i dont but you smoke cocks
Aaron Rodgers intercepted?! DID WE JUST WIN THIS?!
OFFICIAL CFB PLAYOFF PREDICTION
1. Ohio State
4. That team up North
OFFICIAL CFB PLAYOFF PREDICTION
why are you here and not posting on Cred Forums
You're a real cockhop pal
the Zoroastrian ripoffs were better
Paul was based though for filling in where Jesus forgot about the fags
1 Corinthians 6:9
>Football is for fags
>mfw someone posts about football
Remember this bitch?
Because if it backfires, I'll be a laughingstock.
Bro are you trying to get this thread deleted?
Yea, what about her?
>mfw Ohio State stomps that team up North again this year
 These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks standing before the God of the earth.
 And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed.
 These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.
 And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them.
 And their dead bodies shall lie in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified.
 And they of the people and kindreds and tongues and nations shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves.
 And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth.
 And after three days and an half the Spirit of life from God entered into them, and they stood upon their feet; and great fear fell upon them which saw them.
 And they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven in a cloud; and their enemies beheld them.
 And the same hour was there a great earthquake, and the tenth part of the city fell, and in the earthquake were slain of men seven thousand: and the remnant were affrighted, and gave glory to the God of heaven.
She's 5'11" it makes me feel better about my height.
Honestly feminism is underrated. Ignore pop feminism and read about the various offshoots.
Used to be against it, then kinda lukewarm on it until I had a teacher in high school who introduced me to it through a better lens. Granted most people talking about it are annoying but that's true with any movement.
are yo insayin?
Just wanted to know if she was still posting
I'll stomp your rectum
Eating MnM chocolate chip cookies atm
fuck this, i am going to spank my moneky
Someone from California explain to me why you all move to Colorado and Texas.
Wish I had an American friend to share cross-cultural banter with
I'll spank your fucking nose
hit em with the V ZED
Colorado, for the mountains, snow and weed. Kinda weird since we have the sierras for that, but I dunno. Also its supposedly cheaper there, and theres better gun laws
Texas I have no idea. Theres just as many mexicans, and its even hotter. Maybe the cowboy lifestyle?
You can have a sheep.
I have met a grand total of two Californians in my life
Both were chicanos and one was big into CHICANA PRIDE
she was also fat
chicanos arent californian
theyre not even people
>live in Orlando
>hear large explosion
>think SpaceX accidentally blew themselves up again over on the coast
>no results on Google
>think a terrorist bombed another gay club
>no results on Google
>hear another loud noise
>it's just a surprise thunderstorm
are you on crack again you nasty motherfucker?
There is NOTHING any of you can do to prove to me that you don't shit stuffed in socks inside a dufflebag under your bed
>blood sugar crashes after not eating all day
>eat way too much to compensate
>Texas and California
It's all natural
Shit in the mitt?
Remember that time when we destroyed the Spanish Empire for no reason after they refused to sell us cuba?
This actually made me laugh
t. Spanish sympathizer
i'm scared to go to school tomorrow /cum/ and i didn't fill my prescription for clonazepam so i have nothing to calm myself with ;_____;
IF YOU LEAVE
DON'T LEAVE NOW
PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY HEART AWAY
was the spanish-american war revenge for 9/11?
The USS Maine was an inside job
Remember when we told the Brits to give up their empire after WW2 and they did?
panda panda panda
That prescription drug shit will rot your brain guey. Smoke half bowl and down a beer and you're good to go.
is this a common sight in american grocery stores
Remember that time Russia sold us the barren wasteland of Alaska for cheap, then we immediately found gold and oil?
'Idea' is said like 'Ideer'
Get it right yanks
of course not
that display would be full of Doritos
Do you remember, when it was hot in September
REEE STOP FILTERING MY HTTP ON MY COMPUTER YOU FUCKING NERDSSSSSS
Go suck sheep shart
I GOT BROADS IN ATLANTA
What you've never gotten Lay'd?
it was 94F today where I live
Is it still cuckolding if your wife only fucks black guys ironically?
Remember when we buttfucked Japan so hard that even we felt bad and turned them into a first world country?
Brits cannot even speak their own language properly
>Remember when we buttfucked Japan so hard that even we felt bad and turned them into a first world country?
Japan was first world before WW2. It's actually impressive that they did it without a colonial overlord forcing them
We just gave them a powerful economy
>dont pronounce r's half the time
>add random r's in for no reason
truly a nation of subhumans
I want a cutie Latina gf.
They didn't have skyscrapers back then and now they do
still not sure how to act on the black vegetarian gf issue buds
we are very good at turning garbage into money
it is our skill
i hate skyscrapers they terrify me
1 be white
2 have huge dick
3 have money
4 move to SA
>putting r's where they don't even exist
is that how your marts restock their shelves? with sharts?
skyscrapers were a mistake
all building should go down not up
You only need the third one, it also applies for all women.
t. hans moleman
3. I'm a jew so check
4. my mommy would be mad
That was true with most of Europe. Hitler burnt them down and we burnt the Japs down
>wanting to live underground
What are you a gnome
>dont like sports
Omega as fuck.
Explain this meme
This is true
But no one actually drops the 'T' apart from chavs in Essex like most Yanks would like to believe
panda panda panda
panda panda panda panda
panda panda panda panda panda
panda panda panda panda panda panda
panda panda panda panda panda panda panda
>until I had a teacher in high school who introduced me to it through a better lens
You mean indoctrinated you into the cult of male oppression?
Mother of god...
>losing to the rams
>implying the Seahawks will ever beat the Rams
>walk around block
>dudes keep yelling "GO PACK" at me
Why are cheeseshits the most annoying fans?
never really see jews with latinas, but then again, most jews date jews. If you loaded, you are made.
i know how english people speak
non-rhoticism is disgusting though. only aussies and new yorkers can pull it off
I GOT BROADS IN CRAGGY ISLAND
wow this is a really shitty thread
why would anyone "hang out" here?
I'm still mad that the Redskins lost to the Cowboys.
Just be glad that they lost to a QB who has literally only been in the system for little over a week.
I don't know what you speak of, fool. /cum/ hasn't been this good in a while
Who /esl/ here?
Who is this semen demon
At least they're real fans.
>literally the 4th quarter of the game down by 6
>everyone is in Seacocks jersey's wandering around the mall
HAHA US 12s RIGHT???
whats your republican candidate ranking
for me its trump>quaker oats>sleepy negro>christie>¡jeb!>put the delegates in the bag>rubio
The West Country accent is rhotic
and its my favourite english accent, up there with scouse
Is the screencap from a game or something?
Why do so many fucking faggots stare and smile at me?
t . Visiting California
The rest were unacceptable except for maybe Fiorina though she didn't have much public sector experience.
What a fucking meme
>you can bring your cattle over here and kill 'em on me land
Yeah. It's called Something Unlimited
because we're nice people, you cunt
You must have shit on your face
california is thr epitome of american vapidness
No im very well groomed
Its a gay state
FLYOVER MOO COWS
He's being sarcastic
He's annoyed with the city folk disturbing his farm and that
Downloaded, gonna give it a try because I love asses
I know this is just a parody of real life but I can imagine many Brits actually talk like this.
It's as bad as the Top Gear where they went to a hillbilly tire shop somewhere in the south.
My fellow assman
Wait a minute, that's le "I don't wash my asscrack" man?
I'm starting to feel gross about sleeping under the same sheet I masturbate into
Gonna read "What They Don't Teach You At Harvard Business School" and "What They Teach You At Harvard Business School"
Get yourself a jizzrag then, but make sure to wash that shit.
I think my current sheet is giving me a rash
Or you could get an onahole/fleshlight and cum into that.
What I learned in boating school is...
How many uses can i get out of that
And how good does it feel
>I know this is just a parody of real life but I can imagine many Brits actually talk like this.
Maybe lower-class Scots or some old Yorkshireman
Brits are adorable when they imitate American accents
>How many uses can i get out of that
Depends on the toy.
>And how good does it feel
Depends on the toy too.
The ones I used felt great and lasted me years.
Of course, they fall short of the real thing but it definitely beats the hand.
Only upkeep is cleaning and buying lube.
no don't user your brain will melt
Can you recommend some good cheap lube and a good onahole
pamodini mani iekšienē
I will become the most intelligent being in the Universe
Feels good being gay
Here have some dumb
*farts into your mouth* i just ruined your dreams
Good for you bud
we build shart powered robots and hook bad tippers to them
lets put a soda dispenser on the side as well
If he reads "What They Don't Teach You At Harvard Business School" he will know everything except what they do teach at Harvard Business School.
will he know advanced mathematics?
Yes, he will know everything.
antiderivatives? Work(physics) equations?
If you're broke, just fucking spit on your dick.
Moisturizer would be the next cheapest thing.
Real talk tho, lubes are as diverse as the toys themselves. Experiment with 4 or 5 different water based lubes and see what you like. They vary based on thickness, sensations, fragrances, flavors, etc.
As for the toys, that depends on your size.
My recommendation based on penis size would be:
very small: tenga egg
small: tenga fliphole
Normal: Tomax lilith
Large: I wouldn't know ; __ ;, buy horse maybe
>its another episode of work
hows your monday going, lads?
all of those are included in everything
its still sunday for another 2 hours
did you read the book?
Feels better being bisexual master race.
We hate u
then how do you know its covered?
Haha holy shit is that weed dude
off to kill myself lads, see you tomorrow
don't do it