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first for feet

me im the best im number one hahahah

drinking coke zero

fuck feet

not literally, of course though. what kind of faggot would do that?


National Anarchy ftw.




Post yfw you realised that Jeb really was /ourguy/


might try the pomodoro technique

Gibe topics related to gender.

krauts out
>captcha: Luftreinhaltung (air in-holding)
fugging krauts




he was the guy who was going to show that democrats are the real racists. really makes you hmmm.

>tfw no thrash metal/jew york gf

>tell myself no anime until after I've been productive
>I've done nothing all day and still no anime
Make the depression stooooop!!!

lookit dem yoyo's, thats the way you do it

Too beta

ew icky gross

try the pomodoro technique

who /drinking/ here?

bouts to slam a 12 pack harder than Michael Jordan in Space Jam

>tfw no qt long island jewish italian gf

>ew icky gross
don't ever post in my thread again

Get her icky gross all over me

I do this too.


Why are you masturbating to dead or alive?

the shittiest of tastes

>tfw Jew women can take care of you
I like this idea

>tfw T Sway is bae (babe)


>tfw neither so tall nor handsome as hell

the shittiest of North America



I just had a glass of 2% milk

why AREN'T you?

no bully

I have spent all day contemplating doing my homework

If only I had a qt British gf to motivate me and help me with my work

I just had a glass of 100 percent milk

my name is pat mustard and i approve this message

Because my daughter is still awake.

Drink soy milk instead

What's the gayest thing you've done?

I've shoved a hair brush up my ass while masturbating

>there are dairy farmers posting in /cum/ RIGHT NOW

How dare you impersonate me you piss of shit?!

milk is best drink

who the fucjk /asexual/ here

hit that motherfugging submit button


just figured out how to reply to someone without actually replying to them


my waifu is british , very distracting

I was in a theatrical production of Little Shop of Horrors in high School

Anal masturbation is not gay

I wish I had been born on a farm so I could have had a nice local wife and a simple life working the land


>brown eyes


Dude. Calm down. This is the internet. Nobody is pretending to be anybody.


I auditioned for and didn't get a part in my high school production of Little Shop of Horrors.

Why is a British woman at an American sporting event wearing a shirt for an American band?

check this comment
and look at the first reply

What's wrong with that?


I was the puppeteer for Audrey 1

because Brits can't into niggerball or thrash metal

A FUCKING thespian

Oh, I mean, I got a small role, but I was the fucking lead in the production before that. They couldn't even give me the dentist role?

How High is an indusputable classic

>they couldnt even give me the dentist role

thats the main role, you doofus

British women belong to American cock

y do girls hve buttz>

Why is /cum/ so thirsty for British women

Yeah, fuck Seymour, right? I'm still pissed about that musical, in case you couldn't tell.

goodnight cum


because they're super cute

>someone's filtering any http connection coming from my computer to the internet

That's only you mate.

Sad to see you leaf

because they must become our subordinates

we will conquer that puny little island and their (our) women

Who /buckeyenation/ here?

>pumpkin oreos
what is this unholy creation

football is for fags

Fuck no.
>no curves whatsoever
It'd be like fucking a boy.

Bullshit. I pretend to be aubrey plaza on twitter

>tfw embarassing U. Texas in front of the entire nation

Just took a big poop buds


>tfw Vikings fan
If they win tonight, I will shitpost on Cred Forums for the rest of the season.

>Who /buckeyenation/ here?
Nice upset yesterday

They are thirsty for us
They're adorable too

>not wearing Boy London so you can be a stylish wehraboo

t. fag

Having one of those dehydrated shits where the poos sticks

Gonna be a while on the toilet

>tfw my team lost to an FCS team last week

>mfw Urban wins the natty again this year
He's already shown himself to be one of the all time great coaches

>implying Texas is good rn

Thanks pham, I was nervous at the start of the season but after they lost to Houston I felt very confident

>>no curves whatsoever
>It'd be like fucking a boy.

Welcome to the Thunderdome

rly makes u think


>/cum/ during school hours:
"What do you believe are the greatest contributions to philosophy and literature?"
>/cum/ after high school gets out
"Poop! Haha! Should I eat it? Looooool football is for fags! Jej!"

they were ranked 11th in the nation

granted, the ranking system is pants on head retarded


shame she is a massive feminist

Damn I feel like a boy

I liked her when she was 12.

>"What do you believe are the greatest contributions to philosophy and literature?"


I work construction you fag

It's like people who work for a living actually enjoy shits ting at night and people who want to do nothing all day want to explore ideas they aren't educated informed well enough to actually earn a monetary gain for

>"What do you believe are the greatest contributions to philosophy and literature?"

good thing I dont care. Ive already learned to zone out when my sister goes off about feminism, I can do the same with her and just stare into her eyes

>not a flash and circle

I got someone fired today

Feel depressed

I'm a baker who really should be in bed right now.

How is it

I NEED to eat a shit

Education is its own reward.

Only numales are affected by feminists

Did they deserve it, or did your fuck up cost them the job?

>tfw the hawkeyes blew it against an FCS team
At least Nebraska helped recover the B1G image a little bit

It is tbqh, FSU was number 2 until the upset prolly because Jimbo Fisher got his KKK lynch squad to threaten the people in charge of the rankings.
I don't believe Bama is the best team in the country since they almost lost to Ole Piss again

Useful skill

>we will never get head from Emma


I shart on Canadian gravestones

delet this, she is pure

I mean it's not your average FCS team, I read somewhere they'd be favorite against 40 FBS programs and like 8 P5 programs like Kansas, Wake Forest, Oregon St

Made me feel a little better

Idk m8, it's a fact non white dick has been in her, she had Asian bfs

True, someone said NDSU is comparable to the 07 App State team that beat scUM

>this Vikings game

What do you believe are the greatest contributions to philosophy and literature?

>Tfw App St almost beat Tennessee in OT

>watching hand egg


what about it

Hentai and Superman comics

You're all absolutely stupid as fuck


>mfw the whole SEC is garbage now besides Bama
B1G has retaken the throne

t. Pats """""""fan""""""" living in chicago

rate my ringtone lads

All sum up all the philosophy and literature anyone ever needs to read in three words.

The Holy Bible

I live in rockford and dont like sports

2 minutes left, niggas!!!!

rate my ringtone boys

>The "Holy" Bible

annex chicago please

Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.
[21] And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.
[22] Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.
[23] And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.

football is a reddit thing you fag

Who here smokes hops?

Good portions of the bible are just a ripoff of ancient greek mythology. Larger portions still are made up of pagan beliefs simple respun to suit the church's needs.

>I watch football

some people here are stupid

fuck off redditor
i dont but you smoke cocks

Aaron Rodgers intercepted?! DID WE JUST WIN THIS?!


1. Ohio State
2. Alabama
3. Louisville
4. That team up North


why are you here and not posting on Cred Forums

like me

You're a real cockhop pal

the Zoroastrian ripoffs were better

Paul was based though for filling in where Jesus forgot about the fags

1 Corinthians 6:9

>Football is for fags
>mfw someone posts about football

Remember this bitch?

Because if it backfires, I'll be a laughingstock.

Bro are you trying to get this thread deleted?

Yea, what about her?

>mfw Ohio State stomps that team up North again this year

[4] These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks standing before the God of the earth.
[5] And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed.
[6] These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.
[7] And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them.
[8] And their dead bodies shall lie in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified.
[9] And they of the people and kindreds and tongues and nations shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves.
[10] And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth.
[11] And after three days and an half the Spirit of life from God entered into them, and they stood upon their feet; and great fear fell upon them which saw them.
[12] And they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven in a cloud; and their enemies beheld them.
[13] And the same hour was there a great earthquake, and the tenth part of the city fell, and in the earthquake were slain of men seven thousand: and the remnant were affrighted, and gave glory to the God of heaven.


She's 5'11" it makes me feel better about my height.

Honestly feminism is underrated. Ignore pop feminism and read about the various offshoots.

Used to be against it, then kinda lukewarm on it until I had a teacher in high school who introduced me to it through a better lens. Granted most people talking about it are annoying but that's true with any movement.

are yo insayin?


Just wanted to know if she was still posting

I'll stomp your rectum

Eating MnM chocolate chip cookies atm


fuck this, i am going to spank my moneky

Someone from California explain to me why you all move to Colorado and Texas.

Wish I had an American friend to share cross-cultural banter with

I'll spank your fucking nose


hit em with the V ZED

Colorado, for the mountains, snow and weed. Kinda weird since we have the sierras for that, but I dunno. Also its supposedly cheaper there, and theres better gun laws

Texas I have no idea. Theres just as many mexicans, and its even hotter. Maybe the cowboy lifestyle?

You can have a sheep.

oh vey



I have met a grand total of two Californians in my life

Both were chicanos and one was big into CHICANA PRIDE
she was also fat


chicanos arent californian

theyre not even people

panda panda

>live in Orlando
>hear large explosion
>think SpaceX accidentally blew themselves up again over on the coast
>no results on Google
>think a terrorist bombed another gay club
>no results on Google
>hear another loud noise
>it's just a surprise thunderstorm

are you on crack again you nasty motherfucker?

There is NOTHING any of you can do to prove to me that you don't shit stuffed in socks inside a dufflebag under your bed


>blood sugar crashes after not eating all day
>eat way too much to compensate
>feel sick
Every time

>Texas and California


It's all natural




remember SARS?

Shit in the mitt?


Remember that time when we destroyed the Spanish Empire for no reason after they refused to sell us cuba?

This actually made me laugh


t. Spanish sympathizer

i'm scared to go to school tomorrow /cum/ and i didn't fill my prescription for clonazepam so i have nothing to calm myself with ;_____;


>september 12
was the spanish-american war revenge for 9/11?

panda panda

The USS Maine was an inside job


Remember when we told the Brits to give up their empire after WW2 and they did?

Absolute madman


t. Spaniard

panda panda panda

That prescription drug shit will rot your brain guey. Smoke half bowl and down a beer and you're good to go.

is this a common sight in american grocery stores


Remember that time Russia sold us the barren wasteland of Alaska for cheap, then we immediately found gold and oil?

'Idea' is said like 'Ideer'

Get it right yanks

of course not

that display would be full of Doritos


Do you remember, when it was hot in September


Go suck sheep shart

What you've never gotten Lay'd?

it was 94F today where I live

Is it still cuckolding if your wife only fucks black guys ironically?


Remember when we buttfucked Japan so hard that even we felt bad and turned them into a first world country?

Brits cannot even speak their own language properly


>Remember when we buttfucked Japan so hard that even we felt bad and turned them into a first world country?
Japan was first world before WW2. It's actually impressive that they did it without a colonial overlord forcing them

We just gave them a powerful economy

>dont pronounce r's half the time
>add random r's in for no reason
truly a nation of subhumans

I want a cutie Latina gf.

They didn't have skyscrapers back then and now they do

still not sure how to act on the black vegetarian gf issue buds

we are very good at turning garbage into money
it is our skill

i hate skyscrapers they terrify me

1 be white
2 have huge dick
3 have money
4 move to SA
5 ????
>putting r's where they don't even exist
fuck off

is that how your marts restock their shelves? with sharts?

skyscrapers were a mistake

all building should go down not up

You only need the third one, it also applies for all women.

t. hans moleman

1. Check
2. ehhhhhh
3. I'm a jew so check
4. my mommy would be mad

That was true with most of Europe. Hitler burnt them down and we burnt the Japs down

>wanting to live underground
What are you a gnome

>dont like sports

Omega as fuck.


Explain this meme

This is true

But no one actually drops the 'T' apart from chavs in Essex like most Yanks would like to believe

panda panda
panda panda panda
panda panda panda panda
panda panda panda panda panda
panda panda panda panda panda panda
panda panda panda panda panda panda panda

>until I had a teacher in high school who introduced me to it through a better lens

You mean indoctrinated you into the cult of male oppression?

Mother of god...


>losing to the rams

>implying the Seahawks will ever beat the Rams


>walk around block
>dudes keep yelling "GO PACK" at me
Why are cheeseshits the most annoying fans?

never really see jews with latinas, but then again, most jews date jews. If you loaded, you are made.

i know how english people speak
non-rhoticism is disgusting though. only aussies and new yorkers can pull it off



wow this is a really shitty thread

why would anyone "hang out" here?

I'm still mad that the Redskins lost to the Cowboys.


Just be glad that they lost to a QB who has literally only been in the system for little over a week.

I don't know what you speak of, fool. /cum/ hasn't been this good in a while

Who /esl/ here?

delet this

Who is this semen demon

At least they're real fans.
>literally the 4th quarter of the game down by 6
>everyone is in Seacocks jersey's wandering around the mall

Mercy Graves

whats your republican candidate ranking
for me its trump>quaker oats>sleepy negro>christie>¡jeb!>put the delegates in the bag>rubio

The West Country accent is rhotic



How meta

and its my favourite english accent, up there with scouse

Is the screencap from a game or something?

Why do so many fucking faggots stare and smile at me?
t . Visiting California


The rest were unacceptable except for maybe Fiorina though she didn't have much public sector experience.

What a fucking meme

>you can bring your cattle over here and kill 'em on me land

Yeah. It's called Something Unlimited

because we're nice people, you cunt

You must have shit on your face

california is thr epitome of american vapidness

Fap man?

I agree
No im very well groomed
Its a gay state




He's being sarcastic

He's annoyed with the city folk disturbing his farm and that

Downloaded, gonna give it a try because I love asses



I know this is just a parody of real life but I can imagine many Brits actually talk like this.

It's as bad as the Top Gear where they went to a hillbilly tire shop somewhere in the south.

My fellow assman

Wait a minute, that's le "I don't wash my asscrack" man?


I'm starting to feel gross about sleeping under the same sheet I masturbate into

t. CIA


Gonna read "What They Don't Teach You At Harvard Business School" and "What They Teach You At Harvard Business School"

Get yourself a jizzrag then, but make sure to wash that shit.

I think my current sheet is giving me a rash

A genius

Or you could get an onahole/fleshlight and cum into that.

What I learned in boating school is...

How many uses can i get out of that
And how good does it feel

>I know this is just a parody of real life but I can imagine many Brits actually talk like this.

Maybe lower-class Scots or some old Yorkshireman

Brits are adorable when they imitate American accents

>How many uses can i get out of that
Depends on the toy.
>And how good does it feel
Depends on the toy too.
The ones I used felt great and lasted me years.
Of course, they fall short of the real thing but it definitely beats the hand.
Only upkeep is cleaning and buying lube.

no don't user your brain will melt

Can you recommend some good cheap lube and a good onahole

pamodini mani

pamodini mani iekšienē

pamodini mani

izglāb mani



I will become the most intelligent being in the Universe

Feels good being gay

>Scottish """people"""

Here have some dumb

*farts into your mouth* i just ruined your dreams

Good for you bud

we build shart powered robots and hook bad tippers to them



lets put a soda dispenser on the side as well

mountain dew

If he reads "What They Don't Teach You At Harvard Business School" he will know everything except what they do teach at Harvard Business School.

will he know advanced mathematics?

Yes, he will know everything.


antiderivatives? Work(physics) equations?


>cheap lube
If you're broke, just fucking spit on your dick.
Moisturizer would be the next cheapest thing.
Real talk tho, lubes are as diverse as the toys themselves. Experiment with 4 or 5 different water based lubes and see what you like. They vary based on thickness, sensations, fragrances, flavors, etc.
As for the toys, that depends on your size.
My recommendation based on penis size would be:
very small: tenga egg
small: tenga fliphole
Normal: Tomax lilith
Large: I wouldn't know ; __ ;, buy horse maybe

>its another episode of work

hows your monday going, lads?


all of those are included in everything

its still sunday for another 2 hours

did you read the book?

Feels better being bisexual master race.


We hate u



then how do you know its covered?

Haha holy shit is that weed dude

off to kill myself lads, see you tomorrow

don't do it