/brit/

>m-muh UKIP

Shit pasta

Wank just before you're due to take it.

none would take me haha

there'll be a paki party by 2030

me on the floor, staring at the ceiling fan

Isn't human slavery still a big thing in jew land?

Just buy one.

...

eremy corbyn is starting to feel like donald trump

"He'll never make it on the ballot paper

oh he has? Well he'll never get elected he's just there to widen the debate

oh he has? Well he'll be gone by christmas

oh he isn't? Well he'll be gone after the cabinet reshuffle crisis

oh it was all fine? Well he'll be gone after the anti-semitism ciris

oh it all went away? Well they will lose 200+ council seats and he'll go after the local elections

oh they only lost about 30 seats? Well he'll be gone before 2020 for sure...
"

He isn't going anywhere and soon he will be prime minister

the jews dont deserve gfs

*pets you*

...

Paying off my credit card balance in full every month makes me feel like such a good boy :3

me neither tbf

bit gay la

Whipped my dick out in the middle of a phone interview out to measure it because I got bored.

5 inches flaccid.

UKIP are on the course to win big in the North, Midlands and Wales because of the utter state Labour are in. These parts of the country voted for Brexit but hate the Tories and will easily vote UKIP because of Diane's new image for the party

Lads

0.0% interest in this post

>having a credit card
could there be anything runtier?

you are all going to be relying on icelandic electricity in a few years
yet again shall we have your bollocks in a clamp

me lads

you're a tard if you genuinely believe that

what

...

more like ivankat her lol

he posts anorexic girls for some reason
not very funny at all

I feel guilty because my gf sucked my dick. As if she's better than that. Weird.

>Know two sisters
>One is far more attractive than the other and has bright blue eyes

Tragic

Will honestly never wife a girl without having a view of her passport.

TIL Purple Aki

bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-6d083913-0bfb-4988-8cd8-d126fa6dcff1

finished this last night
*spreads discord among the various factions of /brit/*

hva' fan' er de' du snakker om?

...

Replacement for caraposting. he does sexy anorexic posting now

I get what you mean
girl I'm seeing isn't better than that iah

/fr/enchwomen are for /brit/ish cock.

Haven't you been reading it for months? Thick twat, leave my sight.

quite fancy a group of rugby lads lining up and taking turns on my botty, each delivery a big load of spunk into my arse

at the end i squirt it all out into a cup and drink it

>wanting anything as dangerous as teeth anywhere near your willy
erm..no thanks

Disappointed that the cuck meme going mainstream didn't lead to more cuckquean content

what about French boipucci

ah yes because a passport will tell you if she's gone maga before

Lebs are a plague on Australian culture and should be shot on sight

don't mean to be offensive, but are frenchmen bad drivers in general?

did you like this?

>Australian culture
?

why do paddies always have to take everything so seriously?

...

oi, slap another prawn on the grill, cunt

that sort of thing

no I bought it ages ago just didn't get around to it
*watches you dance in the palm of my gloved hand*

there is a lot already but you have to go to tumblr for it

I thought it was shrimp on the bahbie

Howling

ill put my shrimp in your booty if you don't shut your damn mouth

might have a shower

gave the cat a good swing around

>have an empty continent to myself
> hmm yes I think about 15 mil is the maximum this continent can hold, it's full now.

Australians CANNOT be serious!

Not caralad

first reply decides if i wank tonight or not

dont

I was one of the original writers of the Poleaboo story. We had a small team who would meet on Skype to brainstorm storylines and put together posts.

At one point last year, one of the team, a guy called Waqas Rachid, cut the rest of us out of the story. Even more disturbing, he started to use his own photograph as "Poleaboo".

Waqas kept writing and for a while I enjoyed it, but now it's getting pathetic. The lines between Waqas's life and the Poleaboo character have blurred so much that it's almost become him.

Waqas, it's James. If you are still writing the Poleaboo story, I hope you get the help that you need. Because I can tell, it's starting to get ridiculous. You are a talented guy but you need to do something productive. The rest of us have moved on. Frank is writing for the Daily Mash now and Chris even has a shot at Have I Got News For You. Stop being mental and start using your talent for something better than this shit. It was never supposed to be like this Waqas.

dubs no

dubs and u must wank twice

RARE FLAG

>have an empty room to myself
> what's that? you want me to let loose a troop of monkeys that will shit all over everything and destroy it?
> uhh, this room's full actually, soz

fuark, definitely won't now thanks to that lad's get

>yfw Corbyn and Trump becomes the heads of state of their respective countries
>yfw a Blair/Bush "special" relationship occurs between the two

How new are you

checked

uganda be serious

Lee dem alon, vat arr you doeen 'ere. Dey jus wan to be lef alon. Dey don wan dees.

goody two shoes

fuck off newcunt

i miss 'er...

I'm an oldfag, I've been here all summer.

*approaches you from behind a tree, eyeing your arms*
you lift weights mate?

>have an empty room to myself
The term you're looking for is prison

are charles

the gum i've been chewing for the past two hours has lost it's flave but i cbf walking to the bin

Wow an old stale joke from Cred Forums, fuck off cunt

What's the standard Purple Aki defence strategy? Or by this point are you in for a good squeezing?

saving french tourists who have gotten stuck or lost is a daily occurrence for the Icelandic rescue squads

i say we leave them to die in crevasses after the European championship

*pulls out the measuring tape*

me in the middle

mad how so many people proudly and fondly look back on their commie uni days

"Oh yes, I read lots of radical left-wing literature, I considered myself a Marxist and a Trotskyist, I attended rallies, joined protests, wrote for radical left newspapers, what a time!"

just try to imagine someone proudly talking about being radically right wing in their youth

*removes gum from mouth*
*places it under desk*

hehe

>resisting purple aki

*bites his lip and runs his hand down your waist*

maybe haha

one of my professors is a 'former' commie

makes me cringe every time he talks about it

fucking english classes man

would love to interview that man in a very frank manner

*gets detention*
*has to scrape gum off desks for the entire afternoon*

remind me how this is legal?

nah mate none of that poof shit thanks just give us a squat

*glasses him*

...

aauughh bit hungry ngl

> americans so bad at speaking their native tongue they need lessons in college

LOL

chinese japanese dirty knees look at these

Class in eight hours. I think I'll sit at home drinking and watching The Office until then. Will update this status.

Failed my P's test today lads, feel like shit. I've never been so nervous in my life.

WHERE ARE THE YANK POSTERS?

I WANNA KICK YOUR ARSE

Every single modern British television show involves white women taking the BBC, rly makes you think

hopping in the shower who wants to join me? x

is this image truthful

just failed my runt P plate student his test

you should have seen his TEARS lads hahaha

danelad is back from germany?

go on then

hi xx

it's for the best la'

you failed for the greater good of society

now society may continue their daily commutes without an increased risk of being killed as a result of your incompetence

look at it from a globalist perspective my dude

normbulls
moooooo

k keep me posted

BLOIMY FIDDLESTICKS, THIS IMAGE TRUTHFUL ME CHEEKY FRIENDSEES?

Hahahahaha this is truly hilarious sir!

Did you make this yourself? Absolutely hysterical!

Sharing a cell with those monkeys would be even worse

yeah nah cunt

Thanks lad, you're right it was for the best

youtube.com/watch?v=EgY63QNvmhM

love this gimmick

I'm an irregular

H-HAYAH!

>job interview friday

fuck sake lads fucking bricking it never done this before

but i need more money to travel so i have to stop being neet

>UK biggest parties are now the Tories, New Labour, and UKIP.

Fell for the old reddit image hustle
hook line and sinker you fucking pawns

shut up you prick

>Fell for the old reddit image hustle
>hook line and sinker you fucking pawns

That's the point

*banishes you to Van Diemen's Land*

>go on reddit or studentroom
>ask "Why are most students so left wing?"
>they answer "Because most students are intelligent and most intelligent people tend to be left wing."

Where did this fucking arrogance come from?

*blocks your punch*
*unsheaths katana*
heheheh... you're mine now... nothing personnel

can you refute it?

Not a fan of anti-irish aussie.

Only Queenslanders will get this
youtube.com/watch?v=a6zCVZfrneY

AWOOOOOOGA

It's not arrogance if it's true, user.

rude and harsh, i'm genuinely shitting myself and i thought i could count on my friends for support

me

but once they become intelligent adults they stop being left wing liberals, so that logic doesn't exactly fly :^)

I'm a genius and I'm right wing

well you're a good lad aren't you

hope you do alright on your next P test mate :) x

> WELL SLAP ME KNEE AND BEAT ME CATHOLIC WIFE, I AM NOT FOND OF THIS AUSTRALIAN FELLOW

ah yes very insightful you fucking mick monkey

*kisses you under the water*

about to shower, my hair is finally long enough again that i can use my blow dryer and my hair straighteners again :3

can't wait!

>it's a "I think degrees should be required to vote" episode

It's not even arrogance anymore, it's just straight up narcissism

very VERY VERY GOOD LAD

we're not your friends

you miss 100 shots you never take

I-i want a british bf to shower with

how do I come out to my parents that I'm straight?

Always knew this show was an insight into ozzie culture

School's out lads.

*gapes arsehole and sticks the shower head into my bum*

shower time!!!!

they become slightly right-of-centre neocons

how tsundre

*squeezes your wet bum and bites ur lip gently*

Can't believe how that Garrison lad ended up

first to reply decides if i eat today or not

Yes you are :):)

Yes.

dabs no

you can eat this
*pulls out willy*

hahaha waheeeeeeey *clicks heels together and does a dance*

Ahh yes, I see the drumpf propaganda machine is running on overtime

it must suck being a fat girl and knowing that no attractive guy will ever look at you as relationship material

m8 this is every queenslander's Fridee

youtube.com/watch?v=T9w8JDfUZ64

why not just lose weight

>Moosey's Protest Silenced Singer Bear's Show Camera test

AH YES THE BBC

what kind of girls like spotty manchildren

*scrabs his back in the shower*
do you like it, lad?

>watching the big lez show
Peak runt

between the passport and the burning sensation after you fuck her

who is fardad farahzad

why is this news

>most of his life as a girl
hmm.

this is where you're wrong mate

a) you're wrong

me

for fucks sake BBC
if gender means everything, then it means nothing

just stick to body parts, everything else is fair game

Theroux did a doco. on trans kids, one of them was like that. Bit weird desu

He's really taken to this "silenced singer" persona very well

it's hard to motivate yourself to do anything when you're depressed

*lazy

can always tell when it's a full moon when the runts outside are about and loud as ever

me and the gf

well memed friend ;)

read some Marcus Aurelius x

fuck off you fucking twat i'm not lazy

where do you lads download your music from? (for free)

>tfw to smart but depressed

well, she's not exactly punching over her weight

going to need to try harder than this, NSA

how many days last week did you go to the gym?

loser much?

soulseek, rutracker, piratebay and blogspot

Getting the daily dose of Timothy James Byrne of flat Spracklen House Marlow, his flat rented on and before January 2013 in lads

youtube

>tfw too dumb

youtube converter or the pirate bay

"""Depression""" is LITERALLY a meme though

getting my daily dose of beer

>tfw euphoric in my enlightenment

Honestly lad I go to the gym 5-6x a week and I can't be fucked doing anything sociable, it's not a great I indicator desu

youtu.be/iG4ILOxwRr8?t=1176

how much did she pay to make this pic?

Ahh yes, 15:10, Countdown, Rachel Riley.

Time to get the ol' willy out.

> tfw too woke to hold a 9 to 5 job

kinda regret opening my 3rd eye desu

>tfw too smart but too unmotivated to use my smartness cuz people are to dumb and inferior to understand my superior ideas

Watching a BBC documentary about Wandsworth prison.

Nearly everyone in the documentary so far has been non-white. A Chinese guy that barely speaks English is slicing up his wrists due to the stress. Some Bulgarian lad has sewn up his lips in protest due to the shitty living conditions.

Pretty interesting desu

hmm this x

>tfw smart but absolutely no creativity to come up with ideas

i'll never progress in the world

youtube.com/watch?v=8OmTn5p0HgY

>tim wants more noise in his house

the gf

the misses is buying me a potato, apparently

been together for 4 years now

>tfw too smart to be smart

kek, fuck those nhs bastards

why are they even kicking him out of his home anyway?

kind of messed up if you ask me

if you're talking about how many maccy d's she needed to ingest to get that fat

gonna put the cost as 10k gbp over a few years

that's s a lot of money I guess..

Chubby chaser la

She Irish by chance?

that's a bit odd since it doesn't air until 3:30.

maybe because he keeps harassing the dentist and everyone else that happens to be on the street idk

which one of you is shilling on omegle lads

>tfw coming up with masterful ideas that would change the way /brit/ operates on a fundamental level
>about to post them, to make /brit/ a genuinely better place
>read through the read, realize most of you are trogdolytes, and my plan requires participants that can actually read and appreciate the classics

oh the pains of being a genius...

Must be an old one I found on YouTube then

The white people behave in prison

misses won't give me any quality time

Wish that I could be like the cool kids,
cause all the cool kids they seem to fit in

fb.com/tim.byrne.505/photos?pnref=lhc

nah English, she just didn't want anything special for dinner tonight so she's making me a jacket potato with tuna

tl;dr

You do understand that the NHS is paying the dentist to mess with Tim right?

One of the few song I actively despise

Given the wretched runts testosterone in their water supply to peak their egos

i don't know what is what anymore

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run, outrun my gun

hello x

might become a tranny lads

the dentist did nothing wrong

should I visit the columbine memorial today?

we are in the other thread idiots

good lad x

went to a swanky chinese restaurant the other night with my parents, brother and his gf. 5 people, 3 courses. £280. honestly, you could probably feed someone in africa for a fucking year on that

alri vinay

> hello x

what did he mean by this?

hey xx

Like Springsteen, Born to Run, the Slough branch...

Leave the trenchcoat

*slathers testosterone cream on your bollocks*
Get those mad ideas out of your head, mate!

alri

fuck off rich posh twat

>went to a swanky chinese restaurant the other night with my parents, brother and his gf. 5 people, 3 courses. £280. honestly, you could probably feed someone in africa for a fucking year on that

yeah but then they'd be hungry again after a month

Do it. It's great fun.

good you're a shame to caralad so I don't like you anyway

the englishman is your master

what're you lads doing? x

after a month you'd sell them to be eaten for thrice the price in raw diamonds

oh, i don't know...stuff? x

watching the latest tim byrne vid :)

wbu?

and it tasted the same as a takeaway?

watching you pulling your new (You) getting scheme like the tasteless runt you are

>friends younger brother goes to uni
>has a breakdown and now everyone thinks he's a loony

ah yes

reading about Congo

might have to get a new phone number because my current one is getting ruddy gangfucked by these solar panel shilling ARSEholes

peg me

me xo

the friend or your brother?

lol what did the absolute madman do?

...

fantasizing about british (real) men.

haha nice *closes convo and appears offline*

just on /brit/ haha might read or watch something before bed :) mmmm bed :) haha......

no hehe! just being ironic!

haha lovely mate always wanted to read about Africa but never cared much past Tunisia hahaha x

I don't give the feminine D to people. sorry.

does he post here?

lame

Either burned out in Cambridge or took a "legal high" and fried his brain

friends brother

he had a hangover and just started yelling to himself like a schizo and then started calling up his family members and claimed to be a failure life
then he smashed up his room and also the flat he's in a bit too
and vomited everywhere

very good

okay you need to stop that
*calls my bruv bilel*
*tell him about you*
*he agrees to kidnap you with his mates to torture you in a cave somewhere*
i won't miss you

hell no it tasted fucking amazing. also it was funny having some chinese bird literally stand there and make your duck pancake rolls for you lmao

It's pretty interesting if you're idea of interesting is reading about depressing event after depressing event

what a dumb cunt haha

*your

no m8

profound post, truly a beacon of post modernism in /brit/ post 9/11

he's fine

haha hmmmmm well

name the one route problem of African politics to peak my interest

...

been watching amateur porn all day and i've got a bigger dick than the lad in EVERY video

>4 cans of heineken light
>7 squids
>only 3%

why would anyone buy it??

why don't you post here, Tim?

truly you have become the (You)stralian

asian porn, i presume?

give us a look x

such a waste of dick, use it immediately

>get a job
>be very humble and polite
>as time passes realise that I'm surrounded by spastics
>start being much more blunt with people
>quit job because I feel I'm too good for it

Repeat for infinity and you have my life.

small dicks make it easier for me in hand to hand combat

t. hommelet français

nonce

now if only you could get it close to a woman without your pants in between haha

yeh booooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

ok done, can't do no more

Well not at that price but I've been buying weak beer because I'm currently attempting to ween myself off booze after years of nightly abuse

kek

>can't even get job
>some guy with severe aspergers does it many times over on a whim

hah, interesting
*cock slaps you in the face from 2 metres away*

tripfags get out

noo

bf asked me what does it mean "idk". What should I say?

yeah alright, ill see myself out

*plays cricket loop*

That's the depressing thing, there isn't a single cause. It's like a perfect storm of fuck ups and machiavellian politics at the worst possible times.

The last 15 years or so has luckily been a notable good period for the most part in subsaharan africa