/brit/

...

enlighten yourselves
youtube.com/watch?v=aztAHgOkSiI

*growls*

doing a poo

Ah yes, Arthur is the quintessential British cartoon. They're deep in the West Country, which is why their accents sound American. Same with the Simpsons.

How?

>6 k.b.

it's a secret

did pippa middleton's nudes get leaked or am I being trolled

>janny deleting off topic gook shit on sight
Would buy him a pint/10

why does the man post the gore

it doesn't annoy anyone really

>Jeremy Corbyn planning 'a lot of changes'

bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37462359

Why did he mean by this?

youtu.be/DolvxLOJL8g?t=18m55s

Only her bf

...

>Berkshire
>Royal county of Berks

Jesus fucking christ

I want to strangle and beat those stupid Kardashian sister whores to death including their stupid mentally ill fucking father

have any of you actually tried to watch that shit? i cannot comprehend what kind of a fucking person actually wants to listen to these whiny voiced sluts and their fake hollywood problems.

The average womans mind must be that of a fucking golden retriever, fucking hell you would have to be one STUPID bastard to watch that SHITE!

>The second was a 19 year old(!) I've seen before. Last time it was really hard to get him to finish, and he wasn't that 'into' actual penetration. Anyway, I probed him - he's incredibly shy - and ended up sitting on his face, whipping his balls and ruining his orgasm. He came buckets and keeps texting me, thanking me profusely! I just hope he eventually comes to terms with his fetishes and stops referring to himself as "weird" ::) I felt soooo much job satisfaction!

not sure i'll ever deadlift 500lbs desu

Yoga 710 lad? You here?

I found the secret to immortality. Ask me what it is.

Utterly based

Thank you Janny, if you're reading this we genuinely appreciate you

posted that half-man-half-woodchipper pic in a whatsapp group of all my mates and one of them said to not post stuff like that any more.

stupid freedom hating censor baby.

Ah

>The average womans mind must be that of a fucking golden retriever
thanks captain Obvious of the no shit brigade

give me a (you)

artofmanliness

>half-man-half-woodchipper
what's this?

Anyone watching the X Factor? She's my favourite this year ;)

Ah yes, British cartoons

can't believe 2015 was 18 years ago

stupid cocky slag

if I could delete ITV off my telly, I would

>CN
>british

sounds pretty niiice desu

xxxx

would still shag katie price tbf

got the doc martens on lads

winter is coming :p

fesh n cheps

...

her magic trick?
revealing she has a penis in front of all judges and spectators.

First wank I ever had was to a print out of a Katie Price picture. She is laying on her back on snow with snow covering her puss and tits. tbf it was a great picture. Would still wank over it today

Has anybody else redpilled their younger siblings?

>Showing my 10 year old sister pretty European cities on Google Images
>Looking at pictures of Prague, Vienna, Lausanne
>Then I show her some shitholes in Morocco and Thailand
>Explain to her that European cities are "clean and nice"
>Outside of Europe is "rubbish, polluted and full of crime"
>... but BIG European cities like Paris are also dirty and unsafe nowadays
>She wholeheartedly agrees

Ahhhh yes...

bender

Melaninated people were the first species in the entire world to spring up HIGH Civilizations! I mean, if you read, you will see that Melaninated people were the most famously and successful explorers of the entire world. We traded and lived off the continent in every part of the world and peace was the order of the day! In fact, it was US Africans leaving the continent that produced so many beautiful Cultures in the world............

Thats a hilarious image and i can really see where your coming from with this one!

test

Would shag near enough anything
Post it

>your

You say that like it's a bad thing

The creator is French British lives in LONDON

Didn't happen but I'm sure that's what you would like to do and it is no different than lefty parents forcing their kids to follow suit 2bh

>Anyone watching the X Factor?

The runt den is that way

christ I can remember that pic
same here

No. Google it

me haha

you better stop hounding me for my grammar boy

no I wasn't. I don't know how 'twas picked up that way.

where did house spiders live before houses existed?

>Young Asian lad, about 20, lied on the phone and said he was white. Thick as shyte and TOTALLY clueless. Rough, uncouth and stroppy. Very nearly lost my temper and had to keep telling him off. Grrrr.

Paddy SMASH!

Vienna ain't that pretty I'm afraid. Lots of African perverts and drug pushers hanging around at night.

Haha knew you were lying. I bet the pic doesn't even exist

I too remember wanking over her as a teen lad. Must have been 2008. Was still in my softcore stage then.

where did you live before stainless steel runt compression cages existed?

the mind boggles

First ever wank

*makes you a sandwich*
*gives it to you*
*kisses you on the forehead*

hope you like it la X

>this guy going through all the proxies he can find to keep posting the same gore picture

what's his story

lmao

For people getting paid to essentially act like a human sock they're very disparaging of their clients 2bh

People like you are disgusting.

My first ever wank was to an alexis texas video, can't remember which one

WEWEEEEEE

I want to agree with this post 2bh

But nowadays I think kids/teenagers NEED to be shown the rights view at the same time as even if the parents dont hamfist lefty views down kids throats, teachers will

why are you such a massive wuss, does the implication of physical altercation even in a joking manner make you feel unsafe over the fucking internet?

grow up you twat, sick of hearing your shit constantly

...

>being baited into googling it for me
puppet on a string :)

I find it difficult to walk with suitcases, am I retarded?

what an unsatisfying webm

That is literally the same reasoning they use for forcing their kids to become commies lad

"If I don't show them the way then they'll be misguided by strangers"

Literally happened and there's nothing wrong with showing them what the world looks like

Why would you lie about wanking over a photo on the internet?

>be Canadian
>get fined

Paddy angry, Paddy must SMASH! Why you no want to smash like Paddy??

Stunted
Brained
Irish

Nah, I deffo disagree with the prev user's false story but I believe that people should be shown both sides.

>yanks

NEED a Katie Price gf

Are cigars healthier to smoke than cigarettes?

It's indeed a matter of pride... our connection from our Melanin rich pineal to Melanin rich universe is definitely the key that connects US "black people" to nature and to Life itself! Melanin has always been a way to strengthen our species and ensure our next ascension! Therefore Melanin has since time beginning always been a threat to white society. You have tried for years to create it artificially in you (tanning, pop pills, have plastic surgery etc.) but we "black people" are the chosen Ones! Therefore, your hate, lies, and indignation. If not what it is?

just realised that i've got drunk and cried for the past 13 maybe 14 nights

haha lads

post Katie's sex tape

You don't inhale cigars, they just wreck your teeth and mouth

well you don't inhale them

but they'll still ruin your teeth

Mouth cancer instead of lung cancer

doing a fart

alright mate, your a sad wee man

>your

What has you down mate?

Heh, similar story

>Looking at British Universities with younger sister
>Look at Oxford and Cambridge, ahh yes, very nice
>Search up some runt Uni like Warwick
>"Why is everything pointy and new? Why don't they build them like pretty castles anymore?"

Excellent

is this more to your taste?

Alright Paddy no smash today, Paddy just try to be condescending
Paddy smash another day

Really bored lads. Need a new site to browse

>your

dosing off

reddit

can;t hide from my problems for much longer lads

>Lovley guy, very new to sex. Not sure if virgin. Eager to learn & very sweet. Sex the entire booking with encouragement from me on how to go about it (he told me he wanted complete guidance so we tried everything).

>He was buff as f*ck so not sure where his lack of confidence comes other than lack of experience. But he was lovley so a happy day :) Nice after a lack of bookings yesterday.

me

this

looks fucking grim

>You don't inhale cigars,
tired of numales shitting up my thread

Any tips for luring out spiders.

Just tried catching a big one but it ran under my couch. Tried moving the couch but it's in too deep.

...

then stay there then you useless cunts

did my first wanks to the diva pics in wwe magazines 2bh

also those little phone ads you got in the backs of gaming mags

tell me, why do you hate Irish people? I imagine you are genuinely mentally ill as the only thing you ever post here is "stunted brained irish" and its pretty sad

Why do you think this you sadcase?

play him a nice tune
spiders like trap or nordic folk

whats the fucking point lads

qt snapchatted me a video of her, as in not on her story but sent to me.
why did she do this

Can imagine 11 year old me feeling a rush of adrenaline just looking at that picture and probably having a mad quickie to it

Nowadays I can't get off to non-nude, not even after a week nofap

Gassing them with spider spray usually works for me

watching a bit of aussie rules lads

no fucking idea what's going on

looks like some scantily clad large, muscular men spending a lot of time on the floor together and a bit of quidditch

Leave him alone m8

They avoid you and get rid of flies. And if he's big he'll eat other spiders too

literally never felt bad after a wank and i've been wanking for 15 years

I'm a rugby and cricket man 2bh, AFL confuses me just as much

to suffer

mexico, america, or scotland?

Just gaelic football but you can punch and wrestle with the opponent

its quite fun

>aussie rules throw-in
>the bloke stands with his back to the pitch and throws it blindly over his head like the bride throwing the bouquet at a wedding

mass production was a mistake

Gibraltar's accent is fucking weird.

It's like RP and Spanish mixed into one.

youtube.com/watch?v=fn_gUsYhDXs

>Dude who wanted to go down on me for pretty much most of the booking. I don't really enjoy receiving oral much in the first place, but worse yet, I'm currently on the rag. Thankfully the Beppy tampon saved the day, but I was laying eggs there.

That's not good enough dubadubs.

I HAVE to catch it! But he won't fucking come out!

>looks like some scantily clad large, muscular men spending a lot of time on the floor together
hmm
*surreptitiously googles aussie football*

Think the idea is that they can't sort of aim it towards a specific player/team
Cuts down on "Farken biased ref needs to be sacked" and shit

Me tidying up the runt farm

hes right though you spaz

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llanito

>Gibraltar's culture

what the fuck is a beppy tampon?

you literally don't though you fat retard

>Keith Lamont Scott, a 43-year-old African American man, was fatally shot by an African American police officer,

gfy
cat.com/DownrightTightAustraliankelpie
NEED to be fucked by this

>the word "Woman" comes from the Old French word "Wêmégner" (baking) which comes from Latin "Vulmaernia" (to cook)

Agreed, all that effort and my sandwich toaster does literally the same desu

hm, don't think i shall be clicking this

*helps you catch some runts*

my great grandad inhaled cigars and he lived to 104

getting the occasional dose of anikka albrite

Watching celebrities get thick with paparazzi is fucking hilarious

>Attractive, sweet guy just wanted to cuddle and talk about Star Trek and Tolstoy for an hour. No sex. Just cuddling and chatting... about my two favourite things in the whole world.

Which one of you was this?

You posted this yesterday and nobody cared. You've posted this again today, and still, nobody cares

mine smoked 60 woodbines a day and died when he was 57

>Star Trek and Tolstoy
100% nerd

me as the largest runt

There once was a man from Nantucket

Objectively false, but good meme.

>Evola died unmarried, without children, on 11 June 1974 in Rome. His ashes were deposited in a hole cut in a glacier on Mt. Rosa.
>tfw too intellectual for gf

would have made it to 300 easily if he hadn't

Best savings account to have lads? Would preferably like access to the money, so a fixed rate bond won't do

youtube.com/watch?v=Mb_tmHeI66k

are these ratings from a Male, Female or Transsexual prostitution service?

STOP THE ROCK CAN'T STOP THE ROCK YOU CAN'T STOP THE ROCK CAN'T STOP THE ROCK YOU CAN'T STOP THE ROCK YOU CAN'T STOP

t. woman

Going to browse the 'flix and watch a film

>Undressed down to my albeit rather sexy undies and he came in his pants (couldn't have been older than 20 bless him) one of the easiest bookings ever I think. Cleaned himself up and sent me on my way with my full hour fee and a "just wanted to cum to be honest" couldn't believe my luck!

Who decided, "fuck it!"
And then kicked the bucket.

IDK about Britain, but in the States Synchrony Bank has one w/ 1.05% interest per year.

Who had a very big cuckshed.

>captcha: please select all store fronts
>there's literally a cuck shed in one of the pictures
Not making this up.

>I know, lets promote peace, love, tolerance and unity by importing millions of people from ultra-conservative, ultra-intolerant, ultra-religious and quasi-fascist countries. what could possibly go wrong?

haha yanks are mental holy fuck

H2B
2
B

>Star Trek and Tolstoy
Whoever he is he's a virgin

help to buy isa

racist

blowing up runts is a great past time

youtu.be/T-TljqEQ-tc

COME ON SEATTLE
FIGHT AND WIN

LET'S GO DOOPIN' MENTAL

H E L P
T
O
B U Y

Would these people perhaps be asian by chance?

>that one runt that goes cartwheeling into the air
fucking howling

i dont understand how paying women less than men for the same job isn't illegal.

or am i not understanding the gender pay gap correctly?

this is a fucking goldmine

ahahaahahahaahaaha

Shawbrook Bank 1.7% fixed for 5 years

My first wanks, when I was around 12, were to my imagination.

Literally spent 6-12 months just wanking over the thought of fit teachers and sixth formers I would see round the school. Also girls in music videos, and a few TV show scenes. Unironically wanked to the thought of the ginger Dr Who assistant.

It would either be late at night in bed, or if I was too impatient I would sit on the toilet and wank.

123 if you're making money and don't wanna/can't buy a house

how is that even possible

You're buying some very odd runts my friend, I've been in the business of runt farming and dipped my toe in runt hunting for quite some time now and I've never seen one that looks quite like that.

why do my ears always get itch when stoned?

yeah mate they're japanese

Best wanks I ever had were when I was about 15/16 and would wank in the bath

Love homecoming lads

the latter

>Unironically

It is illegal and you are misunderstanding it

The gender pay gap is because women all work lower paying jobs, like receptionists and shit whilst men are doing engineering, etc. which pays a lot more

They are literally taking average salaries for men and women all together, if it was in the same job, there wouldn't be one

having you gone dooping mental yet?

they are very low grade runts

not worth keeping

the 'net is going slow today

if you divide the working population up between women and men, women earn less money than men
this is due to a variety of factors including but not limited to: Women are in lower paying jobs to start with, women don't ask for a higher starting salary, women are less likely to ask for a higher salary ect

youtube.com/watch?v=35FbwCIxT0g
why is this shit so catchy, IM NOT EVEN A FUCKING WEEB

Popping the 'ettle on. Want owt?

It's doopin' mental lad haha

first wank was to cammy from street fighter, then to melanie rios "tight jeans" porno. Now I have a real fetish for licking girl's bumholes

nice warm mug of cyanide please mate

the first wank was mental lads
was 13 or so. wanked while thinking abt a girl in my class

tea milk two sugar love
cheers

already put the 'miccy on lad, don't bother

Saturday night?
Time the browse the chon!

lemsip

but thats their choice to work crappy jobs. why is this such a big thing for people?
if you want more money get a better job. thats how society works atm.

and here i was thinking women were actually being financially oppressed haha

two chippers and a mug of gf please boss

because the patriarchy enforces gender roles which make them want to work those shite jobs :^)

You are literally the 0.1% then

Go to the GP

Because most people are uninformed
Even the BBC did an article on how the gender pay gap isn't what it seems
bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37198653

didn't eat anything since lunch lads and im feeling warm dizzy tired & angry help

FUCK YEAH MURICA WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

exactly, it's not a sexism thing as it's played out to be

HOLY SHIT LADS

That horse's head in the Godfather was a literal horse's head.

Fucking hell.

easy to sometimes forget how fucking alien japan is. This video uses implicit cultural references which to a japanese person seems normal and makes sense whereas to us it's just weird

embrace it

doopin mental !

mongs will call the protesters cuck and then will glorify the cop who did that
fuck 12

aeropress pls lad

the classroom one of my computer science classes was in last year had an elementary education class using it before ours. every day, there would be 50 women walking out from the elementary education class, and 50 guys with neckbeards walking in for the computer science class. that's the reason for the gender pay gap

Supposedly women aren't chosen for higher paying jobs even when they want them.

With young women I can understand why, we had someone new join our company, after six months she was on maternity leave, gone for the majority of the year, as soon as she could be after the first she was on maternity leave again.

2 years into the job and God knows how many actual months she'd worked. If I was her boss I'd be fuming.

Bit mental

Remember the first time pulling the foreskin on my willy back all the way.
Pulled the foreskin down a little bit many times before, but the open air on the tip of my head was always too sensitive, and didn't dare go any further. Never really understood the concept of masturbating either, as I was still young and innocent. It was just me discovering my body.
Each time I would pull the foreskin back the sensitivity from the air would still hit, but I was able to pull it back further and further each time until one day I managed to pull it back all the way. The sensation is still hard to describe to this day. Almost a sense of relief, a slight rush of excitement, both in the good feeling of it but also an exciting danger, like I didn't feel it was safe to pull it back all that way.
But again, just out of nowhere, the concept of masturbation just naturally dawned on me and I had my first wank. I remember that slight anxious feeling of whether it was safe to be pulling the foreskin all the way back or not, but also the thrill of the sensation.

>tfw you will never experience the feeling of pulling your foreskin back all the way for the first time, followed by your first wank

really makes you think

nobody will ever love me lads

vocaroo.com/i/s0NI2JcHos4c

Americans treat the police like it's some kind of civilian military. Mentalists.

beautiful post xx

*goes doopin' mental*

ah yes let me hire a woman who will have a period every month which will affect how she works
ah yes let me hire a woman who will occasionally get pregnant and work less before going on maternity leave
ah yes let me pay the woman while bringing in a temp working to cover her for an entire fucking year

I love you

ah yes

the rasheeds

*loves you*
:3

British Police shows are still top quality entertainment

the police is supposed to protect and befriend the people. not hit them with sticks

do one of you want to comfort me

i can buy us some food or whatever

>tfw phimosis

should probably start stretching tbf, or apparently it gets worse

WHY DOES IT HAVE DUCK FEET

unless the people in question actually deserve to get hit with a stick

Lefties reckon it's your job as an employer to facilitate all this, even if it destroys your business.

Like those tits who want to give women a day off every month for their flow.

yeah ok
just sit on the sofa and play some Rocket League?

Just reminded me how much I've been wanting to watch Traffic Cops

excellent post

foreskins are gross

i don't know what rocket league is and i don't have a sofa sorry

i just post on /brit/ all day

you can come to mine silly :3

vocaroo.com/i/s137BANnc7q0

>he doesn't believe in global warming
>he votes for the Tories
ah yes

good goy

LAND OF THE FREE

>protest in peace (most of them)
>get thrown tear gas at and get beaten up
ahh yes

don't do this
it's cringy as fuck

...

whilst it is real, it'll never flood the country to that extent

I'm sure some bored rich people will just dig a big hole and drain the water into it

/brit/ only pretend to vote for the tories

that pussy on the right who wanted to get up

im a libertarian socialist

>tumblr
ah yes

>my town is a seaside town
>when the tide is out it's like a mile and half out
>I'll die if sea levels rise an inch

>tfw you will never meet a Canadian or Australian guy willing to fake gay marry you in exchange for being his big rig team driving partner for cheap but then on the road your mutual agreement turns into a real romance even though you both thought you were straight
Laaaads ;_;

this is a very good gimmick

vocaroo.com/i/s0cUNRy88jM8

need you out of business sunshine

that's an oxymoron

AHHHHHHRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DON'T TURN WHAT I TYPED INTO A VOCAROO
AHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS

>If you're so funny
>Then why're you on your own tonight?

>And if you're so good clever
>Then why're you on your own tonight?

>If you're so very entertaining
>Then why're you on your own tonight?

>If you're so very good looking
>Why do you sleep alone tonight?

>Tonight is just like any other night
>It's why you're on your own tonight

Morrissey definitely would have posted here if /brit/ was around when he was younger

I'm off my doopin' rocker lads

>tfw they move the pick n mix to near the tills, so you have to go to the Asda miles away so people won't see you scooping up sweeties like a child

t, 30 year old rorke

Or build a dyke. Works for the Dutchies.

bit gay that

you're an oxymoron

Fingers crossed for that job lads.

met mozzer, he was a cunt. johnny marr was based though

I feel for you lad even though your post is unrelated to mine.

>Birmingham will inevitably become the capital one day

Hard to argue with that

That'll only make it worse

Weird, I've also met Johnny Marr and he was absolutely top so doesn't shock me to hear that.

He was literally coming out of a gig in Manchester with loads of people around him, we drunkenly stumbled up to him and accosted him and he was completely cool with it, such a top guy considering how fucking famous he is.

I need you IN business, sunshine.

>even though your post is unrelated to mine

But we were both complaining about things that we're embarassed about - my move of pick n mix and your autistic, weirdly specific gay fantasy

Local uni is launching a new department, I wanna try and join it. Should I e-mail the director of the new place directly and ask if there's anything going? I can't possibly think of how this could go wrong.

"Dear Sir/Madam, I am sorry to inform you that the Technical Manager you have mentioned retired days before his death, and his spot was already filled"

vocaroo.com/i/s1vIBilIMb4j

help me

greater london you mug I can tell its you

>libertarian socialism
>business
think again sweetie x

fucking sadists

how?

before you do, try and search for any places
if you don't find any tonight, email the director

>I remember you being a lot bigger

>To a 10 year old, I'm HUGE

Did not pick up on the rape subtext in this when I was a kid

doing some marijuana

I shall.

>Dear Director or whatever
>Gi us a job isit
>Yours
>user
>xx

This did make me laugh but I'm from Manchester so I don't sound like such a bellend.

Good job though, 10/10 would listen to more.

...

t. runt

D A K

16/10/16

be prepared

oasis is shit

yep, I met him before a modest mouse gig in birmingham and he was great. talked about guitars with me and my mates for a good ten minutes.

>considering how fucking famous he is
the weird thing is despite how many records he has sold, he's still considered an indie icon. you never see his name on those stupid "top ten guitarists" articles or anything

*slaps the phone out of your hand*
fuck off dude it is a natural herb not a drug it cures cancer bro

t. Damon Albarn

Lincolnshire

Balderdash.

Best regards,
user Anonson

>oasis is shit

new

>killing pigs for fun

literal paki

...

>“certificate” and “you” got capital Cs
>“gud” morning
>doesn't capitalize the letter that follows exclamation.
Yeah, good luck because it's necessary.

rasheed

Weird, probably doesn't seek it out though like most people.

I know The Smiths are huge but everybody just wanks off Morrissey though (rightly so) but I think some of his riffs get criminally overlooked.

>grime went to shit after wearing my rolex

hes here

HAHAHAHA GET FUCKED TWAT

operation n31free

>not killing runts for fun
Runtlife.

>only 7 weeks until i see my gf again

:D

>Director
>xx
gay

scratching my brain for what this is from
thinking robin wlliams

QUICK DRAW CARETAKER

...

ah yes the unsung & unpaid hero of our times

she's giving uck while you're getting cucked mate

>Not signing off all professional e-mails with a sweet peck

Nasty pasty paddy.

CUSTODIAN

it's me again

getyarn.io/yarn-clip/118dbb9d-54f9-4f56-a9bb-5a5046123408

Good guess

nope :D

It's more a trucking fantasy than a gay fantasy, I'll just take the gay for the trucking because I don't want to marry a Canadian or Australian woman that's within my achievable range.

NEW

I don't want to kiss any men, no matter how friendly they are.

i tried to hang myself

hope you're alright la x

>I don't want to kiss any men
gay boy