/brit/

3 hits in this fight
1.Tim hitting the dentist
2.The dentist hitting the floor
3.The ambulance hitting fucking 90

>literately only deleting threads he doesn't like

>budapest

IS NOWHERE SAFE?????

Guts.

will do

one time i saw a pack of wild 'groids whoopin and hollering in the street and jumping around and on each other and throwing things, it was quite wild, felt like i was in yankland

bumbum

pic related is the best

University dorms were hell for this very reason.

bermuda seems alright

UPDATE: Police confirm cause of the explosion in #Budapest #Hungary was due to gas leak

wanna know what love is
wanna know what it feels like

I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!

*jumps off 13th floor balcony*

>watched the entire first season of narcos all in one day

wew lads haha

wow bit rough. didn't know america was still that backward

youtube.com/watch?v=OP47tGnX8fU
[posts a tune]
[dances in his chair while merrily clapping his hands]

Give us back our fucking gold

Where's the Yoga 710 lad?

> a Canadian said something
I shan't bestow the satisfaction of a (you) upon you

>apple
>high end

gassed on the riddim i'm hyper
like i'm in budapest and someone brought out a lighter

>arbitrarily deleting weeb threads

based fucking janny. I think I love him

stop watching porn, it'll make you a million times more confident when talking to people

Hate anime but weeb music is great. really catchy

t. poorfag

>sat in halls at Uni
>hearing all the normies making friends and having fun
>meanwhile i'm sat here sad and lonely

just can't win

That's got meme sauce written all over it (metaphorically)

You lads better have submitted /brit/ approved banners for Cred Forums in the banner contest

youtube.com/watch?v=eh17foTBGmg choon

Club round the corner has a night every month where pretty much only black people are invited. So every time it clears out there's always trouble. Saw a girl get her coat nicked by one, a guy jumped by a pack and I had to phone the police, and another time one was trying to get a drunk girl to come home with him, but she fell over and couldn't get up so he just fucked off and left her there.

I hate nigger night.

>high-end Windows laptops
Like???

PABLO GETS SHOT AND HIS UGLY LITTLE SON TAKES OVER FOR HIM WITH THE HELP OF ADVISORS.

...

>shan't bestow

I'm proud of ye
second seasons a bit shit 3bh

>british
>culture

my cats chat back

Saw this cute little mouse running around the sand dunes at the beach. Then on the way back there was a fox ran across the road in front of the car. Felt good.

>shan't bestow

anime

Ssssssshhhhhhhh

Fuck I don't know, like a £1000 metal Asus or something

Below £1000 and the company essentially doesn't give a shit about you, I've learnt this the hard way

Says the German speaking English

:3

Business idea: Move to Australia and release a product line of bull bars called Roo B Gone.

What's his name?

I was in the park the other day and saw a stoat run across the path with a small rodent in it's mouth
it then ran up a small hill to a hole in rocks and looked at me
I got my phone out to take a pic, but by the time I did it had disappeared

thats pretty rough, i live on a quiet residential street in a white neighbourhood, but geographically it sits on an escarpment that overlooks a working class neighbourhood, so they have to climb a big hill to get there, and theres also a railway line with few pedestrian subways and no level crossings so it keeps them out for the most part quite effectively

there's a road that leads all the way down the hill but my town council erected concrete barriers lmfao

for what purpose do read receipts serve?
apart from heightening my anxiety levels

>uk
>beaches

ah yes and i just got back from the arctic tundra that we have here in australia

this image is giving me a stiffy

time to crack open my karen folder and crack one off

made me smile

>season

Fuck off yank.

Pet idea: rats

gonna murk that goofy with my 9 extendo we buckin heat anyone can get it

got my honey on the amtrak with the crack in the crack of her ass two pounds of hash in the stash

cracking idea

possibly the WORST business idea I've EVER had the displeasure of being pitched

...

>price = quality
mong

was bombing down the main road earlier and passed a duck just randomly waddling by the side of the road

no idea why it was there or how it got there as there were no lakes or rivers nearby

so you can take the product back if its broke?

...

Bender.

Well I used to live in a small village and never had to see them.

Came to the city and it's fucking lousy with them, girl was raped by one just down the street.

Alright lads, anyone fancy a trip to Amsterdam?

>buys £200 acer windows
waah why is windows so shit??? wtf Why do I have viruses????/

>buys £1500 macbook
Wow windows really is shit! I love Apple!

Price = quality

...

not sure if I hate or love your posts

LOVE this topical gimmick

keep it up lad

if you got a problem with two men having a relationship you're the bender lmao

not got many biere d'or left

thought i stocked up enough for this weekend hahaha

are you 12 or do you just try really hard to look retarded?
genuine question

I hit a cat yesterday, felt bad because it had a collar and a little bell on.

I got out but it was stuck under my rear wheel arch so I reversed a bit and pushed it off, had all its insides hanging out.

Didn't know what to do so I just drove off.

the gf

Right should I,
A - Play witcher 3 for a few hours
B - Have a big wank and then go to bed
C - Go to bed now, read bit and get an early night
D - Squander away hours on Cred Forums then go to be depressed

You MUST have reasoning for your answer

damn that reminds me i forgot to get my $2200 (about £1300) virus shield coprocessing unit when i built my computer

utter scum

Karlas back with a bang might fly with my boys to the dam

Gas
The
Aussies
Tbh

You only say that because I'm not Anglo. Don't you think I've realized that us people get replies for our posts less often than your people, and when we do they're usually disrespectful? The person I conversed with the most in the last thread was a Frenchman.

D*UMPF BTFO

third eye status: nuked from orbit

As a Frenchie your opinion actually means very little to me.

had fun watching sissy brit boi anthony crolla get beaten up by big strong venezuelan man linares

Cats? Aye they are

Merci, geï Pierre.

Win two world wars and one cup then you'll receive some fucking respect you rodent

#blm #islam #freebobby #toomuchsauce

I'm saying it's a terrible idea because it's a terrible idea

I couldn't give a rats arse if you're a Kraut or Brit

paki detected because only pakis like mist

Hard to believe it took the German this long to realise we have nothing but disdain for non-Anglos

why are gays so hideous

Rasheed.

Try winning your next world war with Italy on your side and tell me how it goes.

Behead those who insult my beach

B, C, & D

bit of Cred Forums -> bit of wanking -> bit of reading = bed

ISMISSATHREEOHFAA

I'm not an artnargh actually I'm a gora

MISSAWURLDWAAADE

I know, but I felt really clever about the name that came to my mind and I had to wrap it into a post somehow.

Piece of piss mate

The frogs and the krauts conspiring against Britain, it's like we're really the eu.

reading up on titan (saturn's moon)

very interesting stuff lads

C - you'll have more energy to play witcher and have a wank tomorrow

The UK does have some really nice beaches

You're probably thinking of ugly seaside towns

not looking forward to working 9-5 for the next 40 years while also being miserable and alone

yeah okay you nigger

D is always the correct answer here

105 posts in and this is the first USA post

Jaffa > Leibniz > Digestive

me neither

haha

other way around mate

why werent you preventing this?

i left you in charge of posting in /brit/ while i was gone

Leibniz >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> powergap>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>more powergaps>>>>>>>>>>really bigpower gap>>>>>>>>>jaffa>>digestive

disgusting racist little troglodyte

Sorry sweetie don't reply to me unless you have something good to say x

Please do not reply to me thank youuuu x

What the FUCK is that?

>Leibniz
billionaires out

patrician taste

My seaside town is FAR from ugly

Take that jf shite and shove it in the bin next to the Oreos.

lol

As well as the mouse I fouund this crab. It was buried in the wet sand by the retreating tide, just the top of its shell showing. I thought it was dead and idly dug it out with my bare foot only for it to spring into life. They really are creepy as fuck, just giant, armoured water spiders with big pincers. I should have smashed it with a rock for being an abomination.

...

Thought you were on about the philosopher Leibniz but no you're talking about fucking biscuits, what else should I expect from a bunch of spastics

(((Leibniz)))

(((Jaffa))) Cake

my arse

...

>jaffa cakes

delicious dark british asshole

its a shaved asshole that hasn't been bleached

possibly the best thing ever invented

Sometimes a slightly higher price will pay off. I've started buying relatively expensive, very soft toilet paper a while ago and since then I actually feel like a millionaire on the potty.

Not a clue what you're on about.

>Jaffa Cake

would lick

Leibniz : (A : Type) -> (x y : A) -> Prop
Leibniz A x y = (P : A -> Prop) -> P x -> P y

no one thinks you're funny you dumb fucking leaf

that looks delicious

>Jaffa Cake

Market Zyklon B again and re-brand it Jew-B-Gone.

foy

>people who call jaffa cakes biscuits

German-B-Gone instead hopefully

got pinched by one once when I was a kid they're strong as fuck

Would you rather

Shag this slag for a good 2 hours
or
Have a lifetime supply of Choco Leibniz biscuits

You can cum as many times as you want in 2 hours with the girl and the biscuits are limited to 1 pack per week.

>people

former

Why aren't you lads converting to Sikhism yet?
It's not just a bro tier meme. Learn the basics and it makes perfect sense.
It agrees with science and actually explains about God, karma, reincarnation and mortality in a logical way unlike any other faith.

>UK
>having culture

Joke's on you

get a mirror, bend over, and spread your buttcheeks and have a look

then all would be clear

Ahh yes just the place I'll stop off for my Jaffa Cakes.

Oh wait, they're not a cake!

Call me unpatriotic but Jaffa cakes are shite. Horrible orange jelly, nasty cheap "chocolate", tasteless biscuit. Just pleb shite. Buy some proper choc biscuits from M&S, it's worth it.

i'm not a fucking paki that's why

Shag the slag for a good 2 hours

I'm not going to wear a turban m8

no one ever says the UK has culture. They are a constructed nation like the USA

Choco Leibniz feels too unhealthy. Bought whole wheat Leibniz recently and it felt like I was getting healthier while gorging on cookies.

uhmmmmm incense doesn't really smell good

>implying you even want to cum more than twice

But you can always eat some cookies

what if like

our cats coordinated an attack against all of their human owners at the same time and like cats are going crazy and rip your neck out while you're at the computer n shit and they take over the world

Very bad lads

gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/vat-food/vfood6260
it is a cake though

im out

this desu taste really tangy and horrible

>cookies

Fuck off yank.

>implying I'm stupid enough to own a cat

would shag until it fell off tbqh

option B

shes a dime a dozen slag, an infinite supply of cookies would be pretty cool. even if you were homeless and destitute you could always rely on your choco leibermians

I googled biscuits for exactly that reason before making my post and had the impression that biscuits were soft so I wrote cookise just to be safe.

I could knock out a cat

>Jaffa cakes are presented as a snack, eaten with the fingers, whereas a cake may be more often expected to be eaten with a fork. They also appeal to children, who could eat one in a few mouthfuls rather like a sweet.
>Size: Jaffa cakes were in size more like biscuits than cakes.
>Packaging: Jaffa cakes were sold in packages more similar to biscuits than cakes.
>Marketing: Jaffa cakes were generally displayed for sale with biscuits rather than cakes.

??????/

When biscuits go stale they turn soft, but when cakes go stale they go hard, which is also what a jaffa cake does.

Pretty sure my sex drive is in minus numbers lads

I miss her so much

>why yes I do own a cat, not a dog!

let's be serious
we both know that the people on the tribunal had been paid off by McVities

It looks like they're a bakery that sells their own cakes as well as baking equipment so regardless of whether Jaffa Cakes are cakes or not, I would go somewhere else if I was looking to buy some.

andyskitchen.co.uk/blogs////blog3.php/all-things-cake

got called a runt today by some runt

You're clearly not dedicated enough to the consumption of cake if you even know what cake does when it goes stale.

why is literally everything in britain called a biscuit?

Going to bed lads, someone tuck me in? :3

in greggs?

...

...

The gfs

fuck off biscuit

You're a biscuit.

i regret wasting my time reading this

Only virgins think Jaffa Cakes are actually cakes

metro.co.uk/2015/05/25/jaffa-cakes-are-not-cakes-10-reasons-why-the-jaffa-is-a-biscuit-5194703/

You're not all virgins, are you?

why don't you fuck off you soggy biscuit? x

It's a legitimate option in countries with a low percentage of detached housing. Imagine every one of the neighbors in your row houses or commieblock having a dog instead of a cat. Determined cat people are horrible though.

*cucks you in*

just remembered abt something weird that happened to me in london

>65312120
>You're clearly not dedicated enough to the consumption of cake if you even know what cake does when it goes stale.

>set tinder location to Manila
>see this

Ah yes, the so-called "most powerful race"

At least you're taking it with homer.

giant jaffa cake

The British gf

treacle tart

the shag because i'm still a virgin at the remarkable age of 28

What the FUCK is that?

looks like a biscuit to me

ah yes

treacle fart

my british gf

If anything the base of a Jaffa means it's more like a barm cake.

Why aren't they called Jaffa Barms or Barmy Jaffas?

>arab
thats clearly a south east asian muslim

when was the last time you got laid /brit/ strawpoll.me/11295779

nice biscuit

some paki girls are qt tbf

this is why muslim men are so mad all the time

got called a tosser in the national rail

Fact: Brits are the most POWERFUL race on earth!

this poll is missing an option

What's that weird stringy stuff on her flower?

google jaffa cake porn on images and look at the first pic

>no none option

About a month ago desu

We're not together anymore

I really miss her mate, so much

legitimately didn't even concieve of that possibility, sorry guys i'll remake it

(jk)

TRASH poll

I like to bum a ciggy even though I have some on me
just to bum one. maybe talk for a bit

>muslim
muslima
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Muslima

>Cred Forums
>no never option

...

VERY IMPORTANT POLL

strawpoll.me/11295796

strawpoll.me/11295796

strawpoll.me/11295796

Truly

Tripfags ruined /éire/ tonight so i will be posting here until it blows over

prefer not to say

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I'LL GET Cred Forums TO HACK YOU

fuck off you paddy twat

i give mine away

what even goes on in /eire/ aside from McGregor posting

>No "Maybe" option
No one can make a proper fucking poll can they

am I the only person who thinks Osborne is pretty handsome

for an MP anyway

reminder that /brit/ is an abnormie general

strawpoll.me/11295796/r

3-4 days is the ultimate runt status, it means they either have a gf and dont shag often at all or they've shagged a random chick, which is degenerate

Did not read a word of this
Just chatting to the lads desu, it's a small general so we're all familiar with each other
Much more /comfy/ and personal than /brit/

Cracked open a bottle of voddy, currently listening to Morrissey haha just wish she was by my side lads

youtu.be/c7mf4W8kL4s?t=3m12s

fucking hell lads, imagine being there

sperged out in truly epic fashion in lidl earlier cause they didn't have the gouda rolls in the bakery

>'they'll be ready in 2 minutes'
WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE THEM 2 MINUTES EARLIER THEN REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>haha you're cute

literally cannot be more immature than those nerds typing ree and normie in caps lock

*slices your achilles heel with a sabre*

Lads I'm a little irritated. Apparently when a baked good is completely wrapped in dough it's a pie, and everything else is a cake. Is that correct? Because in German we have a word for things baked in their entirety, including pies but also stuff like basic fruit cakes and so on, and then another word for things not baked in their entirety, like wedding cakes, which to me without any offense or cultural banter intended simply makes more practical sense.

unbelievable that britcucks call every one of these items "biscuits"
are they too retarded to call them by their proper names?

I hope by Morrissey you mean The Smiths

His solo stuff is dreadful

who is this adonis

*moves my Achilles heel out of the way and puts my neck there instead*

moosey

>in German
Stopped reading there I'm afraid
Fuck off Fritz

FUCK OFF RETARD IM MATURE FOR MY AGE (28)

Since we're talking cake I defy anyone to come up with a better combo than this.

*pushes your neck aside and sticks my ballsack in place*

who calls shortbread biscuits?

The one with the chocolate chips is a cookie

>jaffa
>digestive
>biscuit
>cookie
>shortbread
>dog biscuit
>custard cream
nice job yank

We don't say 'biscuits'

We don't say 'soft drink/fizzy/soda' either

We just call it by their product/brand name

>strawpoll.me/11295796
jesus christ I thought these were total normie hours and I was the only virgin online

middle right is called a cookie

>M&S

rich fuck

What calls shortbread biscuits what?

>We just call it by their product/brand name
Maybe if you're a posh twat

why do you rob yourself by buying price inflated brands like M&S and haagen-dazs (vanilla at that)

>sharp knife
>oven
>tim

this won't end well

>not haagen dazs cookies and cream

>haagen-dasz

got a literal trillionaire here

>M&S
>Haagen-Dazs

Do you also own a Mercedes E-Class?
Did daddy set you up for your nice oil executive job?

*pushes your ballbag away and plops MINE in place*

Me
Cookie is a subcategory of biscuit

Currently munching on some Waitrose 'Duchy' organic all butter shortbreads

It's worth paying a bit more lad, when you are rich you will find that out. Can't even stomach pleb food now desu.

you guys must have too high standards. just fuck a fat whore

Right does anyone here want a nice chocolate barm cob?

free will doesn't exist

we need a state that's as authoritarian as possible

*eat my m&s club sandwich*
ahh yes

Does any other group of people know more about everything than under-21s?

lad at the shop told me fags are all gonna have white packets soon

still gonna buy them lmao

>waitrose
Post vagina

>cookie

FOY

What for?

How many pictures should you have on tinder lads?

lads he actually has an e-class ahahahahahahhaa

upper class english WANKER

morrisons value still water

Woah how racist
Is there not going to be black packets too?

6 pics of your mega dong m8

suedehead and everyday is like sunday are actually two of his greatest songs, but yeah other than that its pretty meh

never terrible, but not remarkable in any way

>having tinder
For what purpose

a good 2 pics

I don't want sex

I just want to lie in bed with her and talk about the world

Switzerland & Norway are the only countries which have managed to eliminate their lower classes

i could literally do anything I ever wanted or dreamt of
I choose not to, because I am a responsible person.

Blacked out windows, leaning back?

>not essential Waitrose carbonated natural mineral water

There atre tubs of Belgian Chocolate and Salted Caramel also in the freezer lad. They were on offer. No, I'm not a fat cunt, I make such things last.

broke my glasses this week

dont like using contact lenses all day 2bh

eyes are too dry

( v_v)

look bud im trying, there's just too many of them to "eliminate"

going to bed bye

No one ever did quite fill sershlads boots as the best /brit/ personality

Feel like pure shit just want him back x

what's the point of shagging if there's nothing after it? and what's the point of shagging for shagging with a girl who doesn't even attract you

>tfw born during the era of clean water and antibiotics

Reminder in 40 years time we will all be eliminated by antibiotic-resistant diseases

Sounds like you want a boyfriend.

>seriously thinking you can talk about actual matters with girls, let alone find a consensus between all her leftie brainwashing and group dynamics awareness

*shits on your bed*
don't think so lol

whatever the maximum is or people will think there's something up

new

In 100 years humans will have the ability to live forever

And we'll all be dead

fucking grim mate

is there an inkling of truth in this statement? canada has lots of water and lots of space for quarantine

weak cunt

Do any of you have a compromising picture of yourself that you post on here for shits and giggles?

They're gonna have cancer shit lad, we've had them for years as well

Got some old photos developed and the ex gf and I look so happy

The way her arms are wrapped around me and her natural, glowing smile, beautiful.

It's all gone.

>tfw born during the era of clean water and antibiotics
the majority of the world has little or no concept of either and they're doubling in number by the decade

Are you the one on the
>voddy

to stay sane? you need to have sex to be mentally healthy. even if you're not attracted to her, it still makes you feel like a part of humanity when you have a fat girl clinging to you after

first fig newtons, now choco leibniz