/brit/

commonwealth realms>commonwealth

You are a toppled pawn in my game

I miss when australians were range banned

hope you lads don't mind but I brought my gf along

felt a bit shit today. maybe tomorrow will be better haha

>Humans are so far above nature that when nature decides something must die out for all eternity, humans can step in and say "No."
Mental. We are the greatest thing to ever grace this universe.

Empire > all

hi :3

i'm paul, i like anime and Cred Forums and the alt right! do you want to be my gf instead of this silly australian poo face?

You may hate me but you'll continue posting in MY thread

Good little brit boy

Can somebody sum up the debate? Seems like Trump looked like a total moron.

>trump's a burden on the middle class

lol get fucked middles class scum

>I miss when australians were range banned

>tfw no sissy brit boi bf

NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING

FOY

What do you think of people who don't have an FB account?

hipsters

They're not people

bad goiym

luckily I don't know any of these subhumans

really excited for hilldawg lads

think she'll be a good president, and it's a great sign of our times that a woman can be the most powerful person on earth

they made an understandable choice. couldn't do it because I need it for various reasons (including work or just conforming to some social norms)

>yankee scientists

now you're climbing to the top of the company ladder, hope it doesn't take too long!

good people

They're weird man haha like who doesn't have a FaceyB account

sweetie, a woman is already the most powerful person on earth

rooooooooo i dont have a facebook account

I do have a gf though

made a new vlog lads x

youtube.com/watch?v=-4CressilIo

tell me what you think of it and please leave a like!!!

t. mindless pawns who always follow the tide

>Trump does Trump things
>Hillary spouts non-sequitur soundbites like "I've been preparing to be president" when Trump mocked her for being home sick and calls him the usual racist, sexist, homophobe buzzwords
Nothing interesting happened. Nobody gained voters in that thing last night.

>cant watch porn anymore because all i think of when i see the women is that they're degenerates that are wrecking their bodies

>Why yes, I care deeply about the political situation in a foreign country on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Nothing is of greater importance to me!

>be me
>at work
>talking to event staff
>remind them that disabled people are "still humans at the end of the day"

still cringe thinking about it lads

What's his name again lads?

whatever happend to kent?

rorkesheed

don't watch porn because it's like poking a hot iron rod directly into your third eye

pretending it isn't relevant to the world is a rorke meme i do NOT understand

natalie dormer

not sure haha

glad someone remembers

do you have any links to any videos of his that are still up on youtube?

unsanitary. Wouldn't touch that eski now that it's covered in shit particles.

no kentqt gf lads

just realised your third eye is your jap's eye

wish I had a bitchin' cane

>eski
boi

>nooo, the BBC told me this is bad!!

sex truly represents a second system of differentiation, completely independent of money and as a system of differentiation it functions just as mercilessly

theres a word in aussie lingo
for a really tasty thingo

poo

you'll get it one day lad

coming up with a devilish dastardly plan

Not us though.

What the hell is a freemason?

realised i've actually been pronouncing poll, toll, and troll, the right way all my life and that it's yanks that have made you think otherwise

notified GCHQ, you're in for it now lad

how do I give good head to a girl?
just lick and suck on her clit while I finger her?

i dare a canadian to reply to this post

except prostitution

jelly m69?

@65422163

snap

big up to the malta mandem

>tfw almost completely fried my neural reward system so I can't enjoy sex or intimate contact nearly as much as a normal well-adjusted person can

girls do it have a (penis) head so you can't give them head

gayboy

despise this gimmick.

>implying malta has any niggers

that's exactly why I only watch tranny porn now.

move your head instead of moving the tongue only

mum found my cum pint glass

t. Janny

move it in what way?

trying to but it won't let me

>have to go to some motivational speaker after lunch at work
If he does one of those
>HOW WE ALL DOING TODAY!!!
>crowd murmurs
>WHOAAAAA ARE WE ALL STILL ASLEEP. LETS TRY AGAIN, HOW WE ALL DOING TODAY!
I'm going to fucking snap.

just had a pint

maintain eye contact at all times and blink as little as possible

just bought the kids a new colouring book :)

*throws you into the kiln*

nah sorry m8. haven't thought about him in months. did something happen to his youtube channel?

only 4th lads this is gonna take some getting used to again

>yanks
hahahahaha

it begins

post willy

the worst part is how the crowd always goes along with it, I need some cynical brits in my office.

He deleted all his videos near the end of 2015 I believe. It's been a long time since he was around. But I found some of his videos that people has archived.

youtube.com/watch?v=d1WXGWIqj9I

use your head to move so you move your tongue less, being able to keep maximum intensity and pleasure the girl more

>the current year
>Sony PSP
wow going to have it find some more room in the runt cage for this one

...

hate that. Someone's 21st i went to the other week had a "magician / comedian" who did this.

applying some antihistamine to my downstairs bongos

NEED help lads. What a decent price for a one bed place to stay in Dublin. literally know nothing about hotel prices so i cant tell if im being a Jew thinking £90 a night is pricey

yeah but what actual movements should I be doing

fuck off

Your honest thoughts on this?
youtube.com/watch?v=sch_WMjd6go

*does a cruyff turn*

drinking coffee(that's tea to you)

This blue haired chick was all over me one night and then a girl pretended to be her girlfriend. So I let her go and wished them happiness to not be homophobic or something. Later she kissed me near the toilets of the club and I asked her supposed gf if it doesn't bother her and she said, she can kiss me or even fuck me but she'll never love me as much as she loves. Later added her on whatsapp and she invited me to a bar she was at but I was in Barcelona at the time.
Today I found out that she is a professional hot chick (pic related) and a semi-famous model and theater actress. Fuck my life.

use airbnb or couchsurfing retard

don't respond to him

just dug it out of an old draw m8

gf wouldn't like it if i did that haha

not one pixel of this will travel my optic nerve

quite proud of my willy so wouldn't mind if everyone saw it

is alan the paki 190cm?

*jumps up and down in a fit of rage*

ur willy is rubbish!

ur willy is rubbish

>xel of this will travel my optic ner
Won't even blame you m8. Just needed to vent.

*leaves a trailing leg*

>tfw it will never be your time

had no idea about the vids. hope he's doing well though. last thing I remember hearing about him was something like his uncle had got him a prostitute to lose his virginity I think.

>This blue haired chick
>chick in photo isn't blue-haired

stopped reading right there

*wacks my willy on the table*
don't think so sunshine

snap

what if nature decides we must die out, huh?

hmmm

*does a poo*

aaaah yes

haha

Why do you have to be such a homo, Canada?

*chops your willy clean in half with a cleaver*

just switch between the clit and the vagina. there's no real magic mate. maybe stick your tongue in the vagina a bit but not much. also don't lick the clit a lot, as it is very sensible so don't go near that a lot, to keep the intensity of the sensibility creating the pleasure

>your willy is rubbish

kek, fucking brits

*the cleaver bounces right off and splits your thick skull right down the middle*

no, I'm pretty sure it chops your willy in half like I said

Shit, the algerian chick fucker is at it again.
How is life going?

i didn't know algeria had dykes

*2 more willies grow out of the wound*

...

Once smashed a coconut right to smithereens with my willy

wasn't even fully erect either

What would you give to punch Stephen Fry in the face?

Most important thing is how you finger her while you doing it. You need to do a come here movement with you finger inside her, until you reach a ruguous area inside the vagina that kinda feels like the inside of the shell of a nut. That's the G spot. She will love you forever after that. Not even memeing.

>willingly giving all your personal info to an Amerifat data mining megacorp

either side will cherry pick to make their candidate look good and say they "won"

truly biting criticism

mate I know how to finger
if she's in the mood I can get her to cum in 2 minutes

snap
snap

>dont touch the clit too much
>don't touch the vagina too much

wait so what am i supposed to be licking most of the time? just the general area around it?

Dont really like the idea of sharing a place with strangers desu. But ti seems like you can rent a flat for cheapish. thanks

fuck off and die you autistic spammer

normies belong in a bin

having a think about all the beautiful women I'll never get haha

this snap gimmick is the least funniest thing ever to have been spawned by /brit/

All the polls say Trump won the debates from what I can see. Unfortunately on both sides people with strong political opinions watch it, think their candidate was the best, and take to social media to argue how much their candidate won, when in reality only the opinions of undecided voters matter because these are the people who would literally never have had their mind changed

snap

*snaps*

youtube.com/watch?v=9_qc52jfWqw

this is what I think of anime

here he is
in the flesh
with the legs
doing the do

>jewish data mining megacorp

FTFY m800

Cool then Clitoridian stimulation should just be the cherry on top of the cake. Also remember that the brain is the primary sex organ. It's ultimately all psychological, Cf. "The sex god method" An excellent book with an awful title.

snap
snap

>MUH JEWWSS

ahh yes

>tfw you got a rubbish willy

lads, starting to fink this "algerian" is a fraud

i'll get the pitchfork

...

bbc.com/news/world-australia-37469986

>Bristol
making me think deeply

Have fun there, beautiful country.

Redpill me about this gimmick lads

Most attractive MP?

snap

At least it isn't jewed like the yanks

snap

Croatian president. The answer is always crotatian president.

dunno why this is even a question

@65422854
having a bit of a think about this

I used to be afraid to have an orgasm so I didnt cum until I was 18. Now sex will probably be the same...I'm not good at dealing with naked bodies or the smell of sex.

snap

This 2bqh.

It's Mogg

ah yes, london

>he thingks being circumcised is bad

lmaoing at ur life

Just smoked a joint now gonna chill in the bath.

is he being stabbed?

when two non-Brits with the same flag post in a row, you snap them

when two Brits snappost in a row, you crackle them

when two people cracklepost in a row, you pop them

t. Mosman resident

haha no way he got DEMOLISHED!!! :^)

phone theft

police refuses to deal with any of the cases since its dangerous to chase them

Finger goes in the wee hole, that's all you need to know

>Whites are the """masterrace"""
>Whites are controlled by the Jews, an """inferior race"""
Ah yes, makes perfect sense.

>the only people in Australia who are circumcised are Jews

hmm yes, EXCEPTIONAL argument.

No, I thought that but it seems they're just trying to nick his phone.

Ruth Ellen Brosseau

Not the best /brit/ gimmick if you want my honest opinion.

Dont drown!

stop forcing your shite gimmick please

Snap

me on the left

literally all me fucking hell

Fuck off paddy cunt, wish Cromwell had finished the job you slimy greasy fucking stinky potato fanny fuck

lol, it makes me laugh how much Cred Forums types use the same justification as niggers for their faults.

t. Whitney Houston

If you don't like our gimmicks, fuck off.

He was implying the only people who think circumcision is good are the Jews.

Circumcision is DISGUSTING, and will ruin your cock for eternity. I'm a fag and I know for a fact that uncircumcised cocks are so much more sensitive and pleasurable for guys, the circumcised ones could only dream of it.

Absolutely DETEST this gimmick tbqhwy

snap posts dont count if its the same person, in this case all the posts are mine

snap

>cromwell
oooh boo hoo so hurtful m8 if i seen you irl i would beat you up!!!11!!!

is that the reaction you wanted? fuck up mate no one cares

>genital mutilation is good

enjoy your ant eater willy

also enjoy being a literal FAGGOT

girls prefer a natural willy

Need a bf

is it true that cornwall is the best part of britain?

snap

>FAGGOT

FUCK

OFF

YANK

you see my posts were simply replying twice to the same poster, which is tasteful yet not aggravating, this is just too far
consider placing your neck on the train tracks and staying there until a train goes by

devon but you're pretty close :)

Fucking plastic hardman paddy as per usual giving it the classic "I'd beat you up irl" fuck off you insecure fuck bet you can barely move up off your arse outside your fucking mums attic.

strongly dislike these posters who spam their runt-tier gimmicks

makes it difficult to have the mature intelligent discussions that /brit/ is known for

Cornwall is not a part of Britain

>Modern Family to feature transgender child

hmmmmmmmmmm. wonder who could possibly be behind this

>You will never have sex with your uncircumcised dick

Rasheed

cheese knife? he eats it by the cheese knife

girls think willy's with hoods are rubbish

yes it is silly aussie

snap

Heh

The person you replied to before is also the person you just replied to. Think about that, kid.

Just measured myself, 5'7" on the dot. I'm so tiny

no they don't
t. dating a girl from Northern Sydney

think you're rubbish

so am i, don't care though.

Yeah you didnt comprehend my post you illiterate cretin...

>British reading comprehension
No wonder we beat you in PISA

snap

youtube.com/watch?v=3PrMqYpgK_U

>those same jews are from europe
hmm.....

>tfw you realise a jew stole your foreskin

your point being?

Fucking plastic hardman paddy as per usual giving it the classic "I'd beat you in PISA irl" fuck off you insecure fuck bet you can barely move up off your arse outside your fucking mums attic.

I'm 25. Not really sure how I am going to escape the NEET trap.

I was in a similar situation to you. I got arrested for filming something I shouldn't have at college, the charges were dropped but they expelled me anyway. I made a home movie of me fucking my roommates dog. That's what I'm into, dog sex.

Anyway I feel like we have a lot in common, you know? Maybe we can be friends.

They originated in Israel, mixed with Europeans and stayed Jewish

did you not read my post

Oh (oh) luxury
Chidi-ching-ching could buy anything, cop that
Oh (oh) collard greens
Three degrees low, make it hot for me, drop that
Oh (oh) down with the shit
King shit, smoke this, get down with the shit, aye
Oh (oh) down with the shit
This, that, pop this down with the shit

Imagine having zero nerve endings on your willy and thinking that is a good thing.

Imagine your willy head looking like a sad, dried, shrivelled mushroom

Imagine having the same willy as a paki

Imagine

youtube.com/watch?v=nDmGVwB6wbE
tune

We already have a reality show about that.

Not a single word

>Apparently in America it's ethical to have a TV debate on CNN when CAN is one of the candidates biggest donors
>still loses to trump

alri john lennon

wood smash

that they have white skin :^)

Oh look, its nearly 5
time for all the worthless gimmickposters to come home from school and ruin /brit/ for another night

My willy is SO BLOODY HARD right now omg not had an erection like this is ages wow

You're banned Poleaboo, stop crossposting this shit

Wish they never banned smoking in bars

Dude just stop, I have your blood in me and even I understand you're losing.

*sees your bulge*
OWO

So do japs. That doesn't make them white.

PISA is poo tier and was replaced by the much more accurate Pearson model which has Britain as 6th in the world.

Fuck all of this "BRO NEVER SKIP LEG DAY LMAO" shit.
Fuck women who get hard gross bodies by falling for the "fitness" meme.
Fuck that in this sick capitalist system where a fuckton of the hours in our day are stolen from us for pennies, society still expects you at minimum to do some expensive ass long routine as "self improvement" so you can have a chance at getting the scraps Chad leftover.

fuck you if youve had sex too

>still loses to Trump
Ummm not according to the polls sweetie :) x

hope they ban smoking completely

love those ones
just look down and admire it

>caring about online polls
when the polls that matter slightly more (the election polls) come in we'll see who won

Dont pipe in you little runts

fatty

>So do japs
they use skin whitening creams though
fuck the palestinians are genetically closer to the original jewish tribes than the ashkenazi jews are

it's like they don't exist

>tfw dick is too sensitive
Kind of envy Jew dicks but not really

>I have your blood in me

Tough luck old boy

fatty boom boom haha!

>britain's finest
>spends all his spare time in america(colorado)
>hangs out with american celebrities
>talks and acts like an american
>wears cowboy hats

hmmmmmm

actually had one last night
felt like I was massaging an elephant's trunk

>170cm
Not gonna lie lad. It's not looking good. However, you can improve your situation by bulking up and developping some sort of depth in your personality. Always remember that Frank Sinatra, Al Pacino, James Dean were all smaller than you.
t. 172cm

>hard gross bodies
t. poofter

Tashie Jackson isn't a tranny, I've seen her fanny in porn

Devon is, just a bridge off buddy

what?

>Tomorrow, Katy perry will release nude video of herself voting in order to "change the world" and influence the election. Will this backfire????

Absolutely delighted and looking forward to tomorrow

>BRO NEVER SKIP LEG DAY LMAO
fuck this normie meme for real.

no that would be york x

You forgot
>has the same skin colour as an American
You can have him lad, nobody here likes him

all me

colonizing Africa was clearly a mistake. It would have been a 1st world continent if we left it.

going to influence my erection desu

no proper brit considers that pooskin british

jenson will always be our lad

hmm hmm yes quite! ah indeed that WOULD be the case!

>trusting Online Polls when Cred Forums exists

Oh sweetie

The gf

>actually watching f1

runts the lot of you

>no true scotsman
ah yes

She'll probably barely show a thing but I hope we see her nipples and fanny and she bends over and maybe fingers herself

>walk outside your home
>see this
What do you do?

It's alright, you're still pretty high

25 years old and literally cant drink on saturdays without being hungover until tuesday now

Unfortunately getting wankered on saturday nights is the only way I can participate in social events.

Really dont know what to do

>runts
bro your country is nothing compared to my STATE alone. not hating, but its the truth.

it's already out and it's censored

>fallacy fallacy
ah yes

pooskin detected

whats the fucking point then

>tomorrow
then what is this?
funnyordie.com/videos/94cd43b56f/katy-perry-votes-naked

sober up before you sleep and drink water
mental that people still get hangovers

turn 360 degrees and walk away

feliqt

Anyone with money that can choose where they live will choose the US over the UK in a second desu

>Devon

move back to australia cause with that attire id clearly be in canada

not a fan of the algerian tosser

>fallacy fallacy fallacy
ah yes

whats the fucking point
yeah that would be nice
"bro" i dont care, this isnt a country cock measuring contest you stupid twat

>fallacy fallacy fallacy fallacy
quite!

Its not as much a hangover, just exhausted and sick for the next few days.

Not nauseous or anything.

if it's 95%, then there must be a good amount of undercover /pooinloos/ in here
Really makes me think...

Except that doesn't work when you're older (although 25 is a bit young) or when you're an alcoholic.

Keep her warm by weeing on her

Yeah dude the Mali Empire was so awesome, we didnt learn about it school because eurocentrism, not because they didnt build shit with their vast wealth.

the commonwealth includes nigeria and india

i agree but i don't want to be rude

Ah the eternal frogo. Time for me to go buy cigarettes and have some milk. See you later /brit/

Invite her in, put the kettle on, and prepare a bowl of eggs.

Literally everyone on /brit/ is a Paki (including me)

They're going to uncesor it, right?

hope you die x

ciao ciao x

Is there a difference between a 'bloke' and a 'geezer'? Is either one of them a regional term?

>all it took for him to fuck off was his master posting
thing we should invite the frogs to post in here all the time

are there any straight men here who will let me smell their poop?

We all mean Commonwealth realms when we say Commonwealth

...

never thought i'd say this about a frog, but i much prefer the frenchman to the algae rapist

>The company commander says the Russian troops are completely broken, and cannot hold out any longer. To reach the Volga and take Stalingrad is not so difficult for us. The Fuhrer knows where the Russians’ weak point is. Victory is not far away.

I will (not straight tho)

>just got out of bed
>full makeup
>exaggeratedly bad hair
I know it's supposed to be a comedy bit, but come on.

>we
>not talking about /cum/
>A fucking leaf

A bloke is a man, a geezer is an old man, usually of the miserly sort.

you call canada and I runts? and then after I throw down you pussy out? being a hater isnt attractive famalam

>Telling me that your country is more powerful than mine is "throwing down"

wise up you dummy..

all these posts are literally just me

I always thought tardy was an underhanded way of saying that someone is acting like a retarded person.

That's adorable.

ayy lmao

>still manages to lose the war

fucking nazis were useless

runt