/brit/

time to go cream myself

not like that you dirty boy :^)

I wanna rub my DICC between those fat tiddies just like that stingray did to her dad

>decide to have a wank
>open up xhamster
>watch a few vids of czech lasses getting themselves off
>bust a fat nut
>decide to click "recommended for you" button on xhamster
>say to myself "this algorithm has to be based upon prior viewed videos and genres"
>figure it would pull up other solo female videos maybe some lezza stuff maybe expose me to some new models for a wank down the road
>it's filled with "ZOMG BLACK MOSTER DICK SPLITS LITTLE WHITE TEEN IN HALF" interracial shit

What in the absolute fuck?

I've never been one for conspiracy theories but something has to going on here

...

That's what yanks love. It's based off geography probably.

umm lad???

my recommends are always full of Lesbian shit even though I don't really care about Lezzers all that much.

lmao

You got eczema too lad?

>any lad i've see on the street could be itt RIGHT now

Do you have the link to that Monster dick video ;p

I do, good guess

me

Where you got it la x
How bad

i have it on my face
in case anybody was wondering

all over my legs
slowly creeping up my arse to my back

can't afford the 500ml of lotion I go through in a week because NEET

having a slice of pumpkin pie at 2AM
I LOVE pumpkin pie

drink more water and lie in the sun lad

>all these disgusting cave troll Morlocks ITT
Christ get some sun losers.
you will never be tonned and tanned like me.

grim

hope i never get this shit

is it something you're born with or does it just develop out of the blue?

it's an autoimmune disease correct?

lel i don't tan much cause muh red hair

Pics x

>he's able to get a tan

shitskin detected

i literally cannot be outside for more than 15 minutes without burning and it never turns into a tan i just burn

during the summer i have go outside wearing long sleeves and a boonie hat otherwise i'll come home looking like a cooked lobster
it's just not worth it to have to reapply SPF100 sun cream every 15 minutes

does yellow skin tan? never really thought about it before

Looking sharp af today boys

kek

>there WILL be nudes of Steve Irwin's daughter leaked online someday
It's only a matter of time, lads.

Fancy KitKat is fancy

me as well

definitely having a date with a hot girl

finally

Nonces

lol alright Greenskin

wow your keyboard has weird letters

gi's a bite lad

Same lad
We can be gross together haha x

I don't know why but I don't bother to cream myself
Really should cos it ruins my life a bit

*gis u bite*

>It's going to be 23 degrees Celsius today
wut

/peppermint tea/

she's legal and I'm not much older

me genetics are the result of millennia of living on a cold rainy island in the north atlantic

yours are clearly the result of living somewhere futher south perhaps italy or greece

>wow your keyboard has weird letters

how do you deal with bed sheets covered in skin and having to hoover every god damn day?

Is he dead or just sleeping white yank?

morning lads. not you nonce, you fuck off.

actually I'm a mutt
continental wog and pale islander

my dad can't tan for the life of him.

Just brush it off
Really need to get my life together

he's kill. His family buried him with his little girl's toys so they could try to forget how much of a faggot he was.

This shouldn't be funny but it is.

>muh heritage

youtube.com/watch?v=gRIWjj73YwY
I blew my load everytime Xena yelled aiaiaiaiaiai

Finished my peppermint tea

Belly is VERY warm now

Just drank a cup of peppermint tea half an hour ago. Good shit desu.

Poofter

get a job you waste

How's it going Thailad?
How is life treating you over there la?

Soothes the ol' throat an' all

I am as well desu good guess

post obscure choons
youtube.com/watch?v=DBlyYESAmQU

>continental

had one
didn't like it
waiting for something worthwhile so I don't quit/get sacked/relapse into substance abuse after the first week

All's good thanks m8.

Duck Dodgers was such a great show

don't engage him you wanker, he goes away if no one talks to him

ahh yes thanks youtube

>british flag
>arabic writing
whats your point

I go away once I have something to do tbf

thairunt

Fucking newcunt.
Thailad is a Britlad abroad and has been here for several years now.
How do you not know that? It's not even the weekend.

delet this

good post

>those strides

jesus

Well, you have my walk down to a tee, I'll give you that much,

my Make America Great Again hat is one the way lads

thankfully i live in a conservative small town that's 95% white so i don't have to worry about being accosted for wearing it in public

the gf

he's being casual

>g

no

You're lucky I don't have any fedora pics saved right now

not even trying

what a cute femboi

Bit mental

bender

There are at least 2 Thailads.
One is the eloquent biphasic guy who got lost in the London underground.
The other, could well be a cunt.

left or right?

BANGER of a choon

youtube.com/watch?v=k5oJC9FP2Tg

ahh yes

unmatch if it doesnt have boobs

gross

since when did being a bender mean trans

Superlike desu

PI fags think life is an RPG

had to left swipe it

tranny whose interests are anime and videogames...

has to be a chon regular haha

looks like the kid with the #2 buzzcut who used to throw chunks of ice at people during snowball fights and eat bugs, then grew up and grew tits

What the fuck is this "smol" shit? I've seen it a few places.

Lmao that does sound spot on

"""Cute""" tumblr way of saying "small"

trans people are fucking disgusting and mentally ill

people who believe in the "the masses are stupid" meme are literally walking fedoras

Rorke's at it again lads
Someone get his dementia pills

they don't realise they are "the masses"

really though everyone is stupid except for me.

Umm we don't tolerate that kind of hate speech on /brit/ sweetie

This is a safe space for people of all races and genders and creeds and sexual orientations

is a board you should check out and then stay at x

Most people are stupid though
Including me haha

>Corbyn wants free movement between euro countries
Where were you when labour died?

Anyone who isn't heterosexual is in some way, fucked up.
I enjoy them though. The world would be blander without them.
What? No, that's feminists. Fuck modern Marxist feminists. They exist to destroy western culture.
There have always been faggots.

proofs?

Isn't that already a thing though

Oh and he thinks Britain should be included in this despite what happened in June

I think most people are a lot smarter than they get credit for

The pseudointellectual types tend to have this "I'm the only one who has ever scratched the surface of life" mentality when in reality everyone else's life is equally complex and everyone deals with the same existential issues

nobody said hello to me
i see how it is
well then i guess i'm forced to play my hand

Who up

>Anyone who isn't heterosexual is in some way, fucked up.
>I enjoy them though. The world would be blander without them.
>What? No, that's feminists. Fuck modern Marxist feminists. They exist to destroy western culture.
>There have always been faggots.

I

He literally wants high wages and tax while also having mass immigration

Ah yes.

Had that when i was like 15 haha. quickly realised im thick as shit

its 3AM almost
>tfw there was a short time when I was waking up at 8AM well rested every morning
seems like a dream now

IIIIIIIIINNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

hey hey hey

Get a job

alri Albert

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I have a job
but I start at 3PM

THREE PM?
CRAZY

Hope you work in a factory or something and not some no benefits shit like a gas station or convenience store

>increase three

What did he mean by this?

no I work for practically no benefits in a retail store warehouse
>factory work
DIRE
done that in High School and it was utter shit.

kill yourselves fucking scumbags

what does roasting mean?
in the yank sense

Factory work sucks but if you're an uneducated and unskilled pleb it can be a road to a middle class life especially if you work in a union factory

>dragon ball

nice he died

take the piss out of someone

another mexican is here

morning lids

off to work.

see you all tonight

morning

dos mexicanos... dos velas...

don't care

Enjoy your time at the plantation

had a really cool dream lads

i was a right badarse

I am educated desu and I'm going for a better job now that I've finished school, just needed something flexible for my school hours.

>razer

kill yourselves fucking scumbags

Just had intense bowel cramps

No, and it's not even my keyboard, it's the office's keyboard.

My keyboard is far more Cred Forums

putting deutsche bank out of business

...

sunshine

>actually using "rorke"

PAKI BASTARD
A
K
I

>pia
lolgecc, még a nevét is elbassza

1956 hahahahhaha

Wearing damp jeans and a hoodie to work because my clothes didn't dry fully in time since I washed them last night haha lol

what did he mean by this

Looking at buying a car through a private seller on carsales lads. Not sure how to address my enquiry really. Want to arrange an inspector to look at it and possibly negotiate the price a bit. Anyone had experience with this?

oi I"m a legit psychopath

day 3 of going to work with half my face falling off

bye lads

theguardian.com/society/2015/feb/19/number-of-suicides-uk-increases-2013-male-rate-highest-2001

>statistically speaking a /brit/poster has killed himself since this general was first started on this board

u ok?

*unleashes the Sardaukar legions upon /brit/

have a nice day

I have a cute twink on the go from Grindr. Can't believe my luck desu.

One has, I went to his funeral and shook his dad's hand.

THAILAAAD

*defeats you with my Fremen who can fight good because they preserve water so good*

yeah i did, im a ghost now lol

Yeah I've bought several used trucks off craigslist before and I always haggle
It's expected
I always brought cash in hand that really helps with the negotiating process when they physically see all the bills that could become theirs

I've also had no problem with the seller agreeing to me having a mechanic take a look at it beforehand
If a seller refused on this I would nope the fuck out of there in a hurry

Ah, a rare sight indeed. The fabled "nonce call." It's specific purpose still unknown to researchers, though some speculate it is to signal an instigation of depraved noncing activity.

Don't you worry about getting pozzed up?

goodnight /shit/

Pic

Hah, that cash-in-hand strategy is pretty clever. I was just asking someone about how transactions usually work with this.

They haven't left a contact so I have to message them through the enquiry box. Anything in particular you'd advice asking? Should I mention negotiation at all or leave that until if I'm keen on the car?

good morning /shit/

...

Is he in his 40s?

what method

the classic hangaroo?

The epidemic of white male suicide that is currently ongoing in the West is something that needs to be brought up more

It's an actual issue that is a canary for problems with society at large yet you hear no politicians ever speak about it and it's not a very discussed topic at all considering its importance

*trains some poison tigers or something to kill your son

kill yourselves fucking scumbags

Drinking cidre in the morning

Hi, I'm interested in the , when can I come and view it? I'd like to bring a mechanic to look at it and take it for a quick test drive, is that ok? Is it a former write-off? Any issues with paying cash?

I remember when thaicunt arrived here, you lads anzacs fucking hated him. Gave him dogs abuse.
I never knew why exactly why.
Then you chilled after a year. Now it's the occasional nonce bit.
What's the deal neway? Are you one of the originals?
I lost the head when I found out there was more that one.

Shut the fuck up you idiot

youtu.be/ucdyfM6b6Pk

*walks into /brit/ and pours myself a cup of tea*
top o' the mornin lads

>Shut the fuck up you idiot

Theres been talk about the problem of male suicide in the past few years and trying to get men to open up to Mental health services when they have a problem. Mental health keeps getting cited as a problem over here desu. I also see these posters on a bunch of bus stops

bbc.co.uk/news/health-37461907
>Women's mental health needs are not being considered adequately despite the rising rate of female suicide, campaigners have warned.

>Katharine Sacks-Jones, director of Agenda, said: "Our mental health trusts are not adequately considering the needs of women.

>"Women facing poor mental health are among the most vulnerable people. The majority have experienced violence and abuse and many report needing women-specific spaces to feel safe."

>According to official annual figures for the UK, in 2014 the male suicide rate was more than three times higher than the female rate.

>However, the female rate increased from 4.8 to 5.2 deaths per 100,000 people while the male rate decreased from 17.8 to 16.8.

Actually, it's women committing suicide that needs to be people's priority right now since the rate of male suicide is actually decreasing. We need gender-specific strategies to help women who need it, and women specifically and exclusively.

theres ads on tele over here for years about male suicide

how useful are girls, besides of giving birth and being sex toys for men?

youtube.com/watch?v=SAkwv5PNapY

need a latina gf
send me one plz

respond my question

Ask if it's ever been in an accident and if the seller says yes then just peace on outta there immediately
Also ask how many previous owners
A vehicle that's had only one previous owner is much more likely to have been well maintained than one with multiple previous owners

Don't negotiate until you're physically there looking at the vehicle and have decided that you want it
Look for any minor dings or scratches and point them out to the seller as this will help when you get to the negotiation phase

Perhaps the biggest thing you should look for is the condition of the tyres
If it's clear they'll need to be replaced in the near future then that's a major negotiating point in your favour

Most important thing though as I stated before is ask if it's okay to have a mechanic look it over and have the mechanic test drive it for himself as he can feel any problems with the drivetrain that a layman cannot pinpoint

The world is run by men, they can talk about their issues whenever they want

>sk if it's ever been in an accident and if the seller says yes then just peace on outta there immediately

You'd never get a used car in the UK if you did that. Cat C/D is minor damage but halves the resale price

Just messaged all 4 of my tinder matches"hey (name) smiley emoji"

Hope one of them will sit on my willy

Lad, Ireland is full of Spanish grills creaming all over Irish culture.
Shave one and adopt it.
You don't need some drug monkey from the Americas.
Keep pure.

Puto

Ahhk, fairly basic stuff. Haven't gone through this process before.

I can arrange to have an inspector/mechanic have a look at it without me being there and then they'll report back to me, but I'm concerned it'll be picked up after I've paid for that expensive shit. Reckon it's too forward to ask them to hold onto it until I've made up my mind or will I lose out on negation there?

Lots of great advice here man, thanks. I don't take it this person is desperate to sell it but those talking points for bargaining are interesting. Kinda a game people play hey.

Unironically lost my virginity last night and had a good time, so I'm graduating from /britfeel/ to here.

FONT

>how useful are girls, besides of giving birth and being sex toys for men?

ahhh yes, scrambled eggs on toast with a pint of hot tea, served with a side dish of ibuprofen and diazepam

the patrician's breakfast

They will tell you that they have other people coming to see it to pessure you into paying now rather than lose it Do not fall for this, if you're genuinely not sure then just accept their claim that you might lose out and tell them you'll let them know tomorrow

That said, he may well actually have other people looking at it, and unless you hand over 500 dollars to a stranger as a deposit you might never see again, you can't make him hold off on other sellers while you decide.

Can't you just be happy for me?

pirate scumbag

Is this actually him or are you meming it into reality?

The twink sent me a picture of his arse last night on Grindr. I came after about 30 seconds of wanking to it.

No, FONT

bit gay

Sitting by the river listening to some ambient before wageslavery begins tbqh

he takes /lat/ memes too seriously hahah

Hello is this the thread for discussing British culture?

Mornin lads

It's genuinely him. He posted it to /lat/ a while back. He's also in his thirties.

Green text it lad, who is she, how did it go?

Ah the Irish bf is awake I see

Morning Paddy

imagine unironically doxxing yourself on the internet

No wuzzies m8

Keep us updated on how it goes

No, morning /brit/ is for boasting about all the girls and boys we're all having sex with thanks to online speed dating

He's a stupid autistic Spic, he probably thought he looked handsome rather than a fat mess.

What a lad

>used to have a lot of friends i would talk to on steam daily
>now i have 0

during the summer it is but they mostly stay in large groups with other spaniards

the mexicANO... 30 years old... JAJAJAJAJASJASJAKAJAKAJAJAKSJAKSKSJHAKSJHKSKJSHSJASKSHASJ

Patricia.

It's actually him

He posted it in hilo latino along with his current status in life which is 33 year old virgin NEET living with his mum which tbf it's common in Latin America for children to live with their parents until they get married

dumb pirates

Bit jealous haha

La grasa MexicANO......

I always cum really fast when wanking, I'd probably be shit at sex
not that I'll ever get it haha

>used to have a lot of friends
>i would talk to
>on steam

DIOS MIO

*does a sax solo*

hahahah WTF is wrong with that minion

My friend has been off work for weeks :c

Actually listening to a sax solo on me veranda rn while munching a durrie

NO ME GUSTA

el grande mexicano.......... del diablo..

Fuck off to /fr/ for your toot.
Why are you even here?
You're a mess we tolerate.

The fat MexicANUS......

You can get yourself off quicker wanking desu

i hope you're actually a bruce and not an american using "durrie"

Idk man. When I'm jacking off I can cum in less than a minute.
But when it comes to sex, it can take like 10-15 mins.
You just can't get the same rhythm as you get with your hand.

Film characters I am most like?

I must be honest with myself and say Donnie Darko and The Joker from The Dark Knight

ARGHHH FUCK OFF TO /FR/ U R A MESS ARHGHHH

de 33 años........

tfw being made redundant. Is 23 too old to go back to college?

The fat Mexican virgin......

hahahhaha

that mexican

Chazz from Wedding Crashers

The overweight Hispanic gentleman.......

he laughs......

If you're going to use my gimmick, at least come up with your own film characters you filthy reprobate

two pirates against me

Pikachu......

he is losing

What do you add?
You're the odd Mexican flag. Not even a cool Mexican we can chat about history with. Just some cunt who posts Simpsons pics and says random shit.
I mean, what is the point of you?

One of the all time greatest scenes in Hollywood history t b f

ARGH WAGWAAN MATEY

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1474483546697.webm

The rotund beaner......

im down to two mates
used to be in a group of like 20 kek

why does he call brits pirates?

the coonskin cap above his bed

> 5 minutes before I need to leave for lectures I get the urgent need to shit

ahhh yes
excellent

the portly pinata basher...

Really want this twink to suck me off and let me fuck him in his tight pink arse ffs

...

...

>People always add me on steam after a game
>Just want to play on my own
>Every time I start the game I get loads of invites and messages.

The tubby fajita eater.......

Ugh

Benders will be amongst the first to go on the day of the rope

>entire state of south australia without power

howling

runt state

youtube.com/watch?v=ZZyGDiUnta4
youtube.com/watch?v=bfdUWOsWJss
youtube.com/watch?v=3OFOZQ6pMGo
youtube.com/watch?v=SFsHSHE-iJQ
What a god-tier band lads. So many tunes

The bubbly burrito muncher.....

Post pics cunt

Not gay desu

a common sight for the Mexican as he wanders about town searching for Pokemon

Wish I could inquire about what condition the mexican poster has without enabling his obnoxious shit.

fajitas are better than fish n ships

>Really want this twink to suck me off let me fuck him in his tight pink arse

Yes user, yes you are

The obese sombrero wearer......

wondering about that before desu he's always on here and posting absolute nothingness

legit mental

you could filter the mexican flag without missing anything good to be perfectly frank

...

*filters yanks instead for a laugh*

You're not annoying. You're inconsequential.
If you're going to be annoying, do it.
Might be fun if you did.
You're an odour right now. Be a stench lad.

The fat MexicANUS......

Seems like a bit more than you're run of the mill chon autism doesn't it?

filter me if you want it hahahaha

he posted this

this is trumped up trickle down

*makes a rude joke about that aussie that filtered america*
cunt can't even see it haha

soooooooooo?

my personal heroes t b h

he should've said enchiladas

I bully the fat Mexican every morning even though I have him filtered hahahaha, I know he's fuming at my posts but I will never read them LOL

do NOT reply to me like that

Nancy was cool too.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Getting my daily dose of Molyneux and Sargon lads

>No Englishmen

Alri runt

I'm going to go ahead and say this:

I don't like your tone or the fact that you've raised your voice to me

cant wait for it lad

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1475049556689.webm

I bet you love this don't you, you greasy gordo

16.10.16...

What's gay about having sex with a twink? All the actual benders I've asked don't consider me gay.

You're only gay if
a) you're a bottom
b) you like masculine/hairy men

Getting my daily dose of tetrahydrocannabinol and amphetamines.

pope john paul and leon trotsky are rotting in hell right now :)

You're gay if you put your dick in another man.
Fact.

*looks at you*
getting my daily dose of ugly

You're only gay if you're a man and like women 2bqh.

c) you want to have sex with men.

You are sexually attracted to men and not women

It's that simple

Doubt that you actually believe this. You're just being contrarians.

honestly if you DON'T like men that look like women you're probably gay

>tfw flights booked for #205

You are all HIV spreaders

you too, or you're in denial.

Honestly don't understand how fucking a man makes you gay

It's way MORE gay to fuck a woman because they're soft and delicate

It takes a manly man to dominate another man and ravage his arse

I am sexually attracted to those who look soft and feminine, like women, twinks, traps, fembois.

Is it straight to have sex with a butch hairy lesbian with a six-pack and a shaved head and no tits just because they're a woman?

>arse
don't do this

yes

Yes

the tubby wetback lives in the dog state

FOY

Everyone starts out as a female in the womb, so technically you're always fucking a woman

That makes you gay m8

If you wanted to roger some big bloke with a hairy back that would be not gay

Really made me think

All straight lads would shag a qt twink, they're just too scared to admit it.

There's absolutely NOTHING gay about wanting to penetrate the anal cavity of another male.

If you found yourself in a foursome and your friend sucked your dick and watched you fuck his missus. Your missus wouldn't fuck him.
Am I a fruit?
Awkward af when they ask us round now.

>The American Psychological Association defines sexual orientation as "an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes," ranging "along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the other sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex."[27] Sexual orientation can also be "discussed in terms of three categories: heterosexual (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to members of the other sex), gay/lesbian (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to members of one's own sex), and bisexual (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to both men and women)."[27]

yeah but who cares what americans think

Wanting to stick your penis into a woman is a bit gay though 2bh.

Film characters I am most like?

I must be honest with myself and say Patrick Bateman and Neil McCauley from Heat

test

(((((American Psychological Association)))))

>Wanting to stick your penis into a woman is a bit gay though 2bh.

Only if you're a woman too

You just found yourself in a weird situation and rolled with it, I take it you didn't encourage him to do it and he wanted to.

Being gay/bi means you want & pursue intercourse with the same gender.

Only if they have a feminine penis.

Nah he's right

Think of all the willies that have been in there before
You're essentially touching willies with all previous willies that have been inside the fanny

Same goes for kissing a woman
You're really just sucking all the willies that have been in her mouth before

The only non gay sex act is sex with a virgin woman

t. literally fucks underaged boys dressed like girls

gf messenger pidgeon'd me this

...

Would it be gay to message this match?

Do you think there would be any way I could just fuck her without the man present?

someone hurry up and make a new thread, i've got a post to make and i want maximum (You) returns

Yeah he said, I might be bi m8 in the cold light of a hungover Sunday morning.
I thought, do you think lad.

making a post at the start of the thread is a surefire way to not get (You)s

As long as he doesn't cum in your ass (it's fine if you cum in his) there's nothing gay about it.

new 4u

>judging people based on which warm hole they prefer to use
Ah yes excellent logic

yeah obviously i'm gonna play it cool and wait a bit, mostly so no one knows which post is mine in case it's underwhelming

>be willing to be with a guy

Yeah, that's just a guy trying to lure vulnerable bicurious boys