/brit/

yeah your so ugly theyd take one look at you and retreat from your grotesque fucking nightmare of a face

some Boston streets look very similar to London

>getting beat by a team that got pumped 7-0 by Barca

Pep sacked when

Help me out, what size is a size 30 EU in the UK?

Getting the daily dose of Alexander Gordon Jahans in lads

i'd focus the energy within my temporal lobe to blast the aliens with a psyonic wave that would disintegrate their neural synapses and turn their inferior alien brains into a pulp

this poster is a shill for the Vorglaxian Empire
do NOT pay attention to him

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_government_will_invoke_Article_50_of_the_Treaty_on_European_Union

have not enjoyed a single post tonight

For what? Men's shirts?

Getting the daily dose of Novara Media and LibertarianSocialistRants

What flavour is girl wee?

>psyonic wave

double murder by stabbing on my local high street this morning

ahh yes , walked through there this afternoon for lunch and didn't see any police investigation

any big dick niggas in here?

Statistically, this poster is from London and is non-white

A taxi driver was stabbed over 30 times outside my gaff

false flag

wee flavour

>CELTSHIT

liar

Space...
The final frontier

These are the voyagers of the class 142 Pacer
It's 5 year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to see out new life and new civilizations and to boldly go where no man has gone before.

statistically i'm not from london and am whiter than you rasheed u brown bastard

The GF passing me something to eat

since when do people get murdered in cornwall

tripped over my own fucking laces yesterday and a paki laughed at me but then a dog walker came up and off went the paki haha that didnt actually happen but wouldnt it be funny (you might wanna post this one on /brit/ in a few days and get some yous)

...

Suit pants, hlp plz, can't find any conversion tables that go as low as to cover my skinny ass

Don't go away... Say that you'll stay

>civilizations

Alri Yank

List of good threats related to confectionary:
>I'll turn your spine into a flump
>I'll crack your head open like a Terry's chocolate orange

What else??

youtube.com/watch?v=AwmS0okyuqM

reckon if a bear started giving me trouble I would floor that overblown carpet in SECONDS lads

i'll donate your daughter to the kebab shop down the road so she can experience the real turkish delight

booking holiday in cornwall

sorry, I'm just used to patrick stewart lisping it like a yank

tripped over my own fucking laces yesterday and a paki laughed at me but then a dog walker came up and off went the paki haha

Cardiff?

ejit flag

tell me about lisicki
why does he walk towards the camera?

Consider your self a frube cause i'm about to rip your head off and suck your guts out

prove it

dont go to uni in kernow

reddit flaggers fuck off

Normally I can't do these but I think because I recognise Kev it made it possible.

>tfw turned 18 in 2010
>dad wanted to take me for my first beer
>I had never had a beer before
>felt really nervous because I was/am a loser with no friends
>dad walks me to his regular pub
>sat me at the table with a bunch of his mates
>really uncomfortable as I sit in silence whilst he gets the beers
>he comes back to the table
>''OK LADS. MY BOY IS ABOUT TO BECOME A MAN''
>slams the beer on the table
>dads mates are pushing me to drink
>his friend Peter speaks
>"Go on lad. You'll have yer dads beer belly soon enough"
>dad starts to 'banter' with his friend Peter
>"I think Peter means you'll have his dads beer belly, because his dad is dead and you will be six feet under after tonights boozing!"
>they are all laughing
>feel pressure
>take one sip of the beer
>fucking hate it
>want to vomit
>meekly spit the beer back into the glass
>dad and friends all silent
>one of his friends chuckles and says "No lad, you swallow the booze"
>dad loudly sighs
>"fucking hell son, you can't go one day without acting like a twat?"
>apologise and ask to leave
>he tells me to just fuck off
>went home and played my PSP all night
>dad came home drunk
>barged into my bedroom and spent 40 minutes telling me how much I shamed him, and told me his friends kept throwing beer on his groin and making jokes about his seed spitting beer everywhere
>apologise, he doesn't forgive me

hope we find an alien planet soon so i can racemix with hot aliens

cardiff uni then

will just take a minute to show up, did too

lovely bod by the way

edit: vid, lovely vid

pepe is now officially a hate symbol lads

@65471773
didn't read lol

doing a think about 8

I assume length then, since width is done in cm so it's way higher, a 30 in a mans waist UK is a 76 in EU. For length, an EU 30 is a UK 21 and a UK 30 is an EU 38

Shan't be reading a word of this, hidden immediately

Redpill me on Tottenham Hotspur. Why is it considered a jew club?

I would do anything to live in Cardiff, desu.

more like reddit faggers haha

got 'em good there

...

stamford hill is right next to tottenham

stamford hill is full of hasidic jews

i used to live right nearby

university of south wales

grazie

youtube.com/watch?v=vmsXMjtBvVM

Holy shit the thicc on the far right.

screencapped

supported by Jews and has always been owned by Jews

@65471841
>That one Irish cunt who re-posts this image of vapid whores repeatedly for (you)'s

Remembering old conversations with a qt from uni. Fuck me lads, they were so fucking cringeworthy. Can't stop laughing at how fucking autistic the pair of us were, accusing each other of having dreams about the other and shit.

Reading through old conversations with the ex whilst listening to dry your eyes

Might have to take a peek at the photos of us I got developed soon

Is she autistic?

want to see an alien? look in the mirror ;)

are you posh

None of them stand out desu

Why did you even bother.

what's this from?

just want to touch a tit once in my life`

Because I don't like it.

meowww miaoww lol

>18
>never had a beer before

Raised in Pakistan and brought over here for uni, eh Rasheed Muhammed Sanjit al-Islamabadi?

...

are they watching Corbyn's conference speech?

Ah thanks, it makes sense.

...

Don't really care desu

they're the poor jews

the rich jews live in barnet

How do I post a link to a webm with sound?

Teetotalism is the only way to be right with God tbf

don't think so

I've got 8 inches of solid Celtic cock for your pretty boy mouth when I'm finished knocking every one of your teeth out you rat. When I'm done your mother and sister can jump on this BMD so I can ravage and taint their Anglo womb with my mick cum

My dad took me for a pint when I turned 18

All that happened was these 2 lads walked past and pointed at us and said "haha, he brought a 16 year old to the pub!"

how about a youtube video with a timestamp?

My middle name might as well be "Death" because I defeat everyone who challenges me.

>Paddy SMASH!

No m8 i'm 30 EU waist and i need to know the UK waist size, i think it's 3 because 32 EU is size 4 UK from a table i saw online

lol

I live here and it's a bit shit to be honest.

youtube.com/watch?v=3QRthd6hswQ

*taunts wagecucks*

le look at me mam

bellend feels tingly out of no reason

And because this post bored me to near death

Jog on mate

I have my reasons.

Ive trained with the UFC, you'd be on your ass before you even got 10 miles outside Wakefield

why
it's awful and grey and rains all the time

this desu

IT'S NATIONAL DRINK BEER DAY LAAADDDDDDSSSSS

Jeremy Corbyn.

Probably need a sex wee

just sat on my hamster

>ass

FOY

nah not a fan

Is that what you call your willy?

just got an award for doing absolutely nothing longer than anyone else

did it die

CHOON

youtube.com/watch?v=91dg8bViklA

>Haven't wanked in over 24 hours
>Can't think of anything but minge
Hmmmm ahh yes

*scratches pubes*

bit cute
youtube.com/watch?v=cQX75TR7R7c

just sat on my face

Listen here mate
>FOY
One thump from me would send the entirety of "wakey" fleeing in primordial terror

>Can't think of anything but minge

*sniffs fingers*

that'll do

been thinking about pogba, lads

is he someone i should rate?

The only reason I could think of for moving here is if you're from some shithole town up the valleys, without doubt the grimmest part of the UK.

Off with your head
Dance 'til you're dead

Dusted off the old GameCube lads, still got some of my old games. Going on a nostalgia trip

youtube.com/watch?v=eW7jo7BUa4c

wanking

You think he still gets laid nowadays?

>GG Allin will never punch your gf
youtube.com/watch?v=rlrNnYmdXmk

Where do you find this shite? Why not just pornhub?

Thats not it, its

OFF OFF OFF WITH HEAD
DANCE DANCE DANCE TILL DEAD

The only conversion I can find that matches that is woman's dresses, whenever I buy suit pants the measurements are given in inches/cm, are you sure you used the right conversion chart?

chicken dippers

what games senpai?

>minge
>fanny
>dustbin

what else do you call it?

my youtube recommended vids are a fucking disaster thanks to /brit/

youtu.be/yaokv2fST0Q?t=22s

Do you have good speakers lads?

what the heck is this

HEADS WILL ROLL
HEADS WILL ROLL

shaghole
front bum
cunt
vajj
lady bits

pucci

>the welsh for "black man" is "dyn du"

HOWLING

can't beat em

ah yes

The builder saved on his home insurance

no

any other questions?

my flag somewhere at the back

>dubstep

Are you 13?

Pretty sure the du is pronounced dee

These days if you say you're English they throw you in jail.

Going to start off with 007: Nightfire and then Crash Bandicoot: Wrath of Cortex. Will have to go digging for some more games later

need to get together a deposit for a barratt newbuild lads

*surrenders*

gash

The mandem.

youtube.com/watch?v=3PrMqYpgK_U

Really need to stick my face between those bum cheeks lads

don't take this away from me

The dyn is also pronounced dun

Not really, i'm all kinds of fucked up but i'll figure it out, thanks a lot for helping me m8

>the neighbours have a scratty wrongly emblemed england flag up in their back garden

very trashy

have spent the past 20 minutes just trying to entertain some scouse prick and he hasnt given me the time of day

flower

Drove up to dyn du in my bare feet

...

off to do a poo, you lads want anything?

pelvic shadows are so weird
whyve they got to airbrush everything mannn

Nearly 20 past 9 mate

youtube.com/watch?v=QjpELZNsTD4

lovely garage tune lads

t. plebeian grime listener

...

I'd bend you over and shove my double decker up your arse you little shit

that's how the Irish for brown is pronounced

>trashy

FOY

prettiest term

Really impressed by this year's Napoli

garbagey

>spelled Cymru
>rponounced Cumry

Explain this bullshit

nobody fucking cares about your dead language you fucking potato shit

i've been on a longway drive

Grime is even worse than dubstep fucking hell kill yourself

straight outta cali
crazy motherfucker named michael

why do i like traps lads?

really makes you think

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1474442511806.webm

haha

Nigga you gay

Only in Brussels or Scotland

it was just an example of how the languages are related

>garbagey

FOY

youtube.com/watch?v=p-A8GvUehq4

closeted homos*xual

reckon I was a bit rude to that Irish lad back there

:)

you're normal

Alan Turing
thoughts?

closet bender

They swapped around the U and Y pronunciation, it's all a bit of a laugh haha

rubbishy

aving a moment

>you little shit
Your starting to sound like a closet Manlet to me, I literally train with mcgregor every fucking day mate

>mfw when I'll never host a candlelit supper using my Royal Doulton china with the hand-painted periwinkles

How's /gf2016/ going lads?

because you're trans-sexual

>Alan Turing
>thoughts?
A cool faggot, like Freddy Mercury

it's actually pronounced cumrag

That's exactly what I said you braindead chimp

I'm gay

Had this dream a few nights ago lads, very weird

>in the swimming pool I almost drowned in as a child
>Try to go into the deep end
>Get stuck, try to swim to the edge
>There's nothing to grab onto
>As I'm drowning I have visions of kissing the ex in her bed
>I recall hearing Perfect day by Lou Reed

what is happening in yankland?

am i?

i dont find men unattractive

V4 is dying

Come say your respects

>60 credits dissertation module

how do i get the work ethic to not fuck this up lads

extremely well

How's /twinkbf2016/ going lads?

May a cute

whatever

nty

that's the closeted bit
you like bums and willies and that
you're a little batty boy bummer

FONT

Bit of a misrepresentation since they are greasy fish-smelling roastie meat flaps

Terribly. Not even got around to being a bender yet.

...

Remember that you have to pay back the loans even if you don't get a degree

I wrote my dissertation in 2 days before the deadline - I do not recommend this

quite well
she's a bit clingy though
might have to bin her

I wrote mine in three days and still got a 2:1.
It's a piece of piss.

have been holding in a wee all day
might hold it out for a laugh instead

bought 4 tescos finest chocolate chip shortbreads but they gave me 5

just a school shooting nothing unusual

youtube.com/watch?v=0o4lgv5Bag4 fucking tune. grimey blud

I'm on the brinks of pre-ordering this oeuvre. Not gonna lie.

alright lads

having drinks with this tranny on saturday

see how i'll feel about the succc then

this is a bit mental desu

probably the best thing I've tasted in my life

but I'm doing a masters in a real subject, literally impossible to do it days before the deadline

Jefferey knows how to suck, don't worry

Got babestation on speed dial, so very good

Good man. Trannies are people too, or so I'm informed.

absolutely nothing wrong with a willy in a mans bum you utter benders

Haha alri Tubby O'Yank

bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-37493165

youtube.com/watch?v=u94yWGkoA6o

very good funk tune

>but I'm doing a masters in a real subject

Then you already have a sufficient work ethic. Stop humblebragging on Cred Forums

bet you ate the whole box to yourself, fatarse

they really are exceptional
the rest of the yank food creation scene should take notes

had a maple glaze the other day
gorgeous

Mine was a masters in Chemistry. Still bashed it out in days. Didn't sleep and got it in with 5 minutes to spare.

I TOLD THE BITCH I GOT A BITCH SO DONT YOU LEAVE ME WITH HICKEYS

SKEPTA
THAT'S MY BRUDDA THAT'S MY DON

>It's gay to find traps attractive
Nice b8. It's a fetish, but not a gay one.

This 2bh
I might not be homosexual, but I've slept with a guy who’s one :^)

kek wat

>Then you already have a sufficient work ethic.
genuinely dont desu only put 3 hours a week into my 3rd year dissertation module

found the bender

shame they cost about £20 a box

once in a lifetime experience

...

as an unbiased bender i can assure you that traps are exceedingly gay

>I'm gay
Bit bent lad.

Wee in a glass and then drink it. You can hold it all over again

that's how Amy Winehouse died

Willies are so fun to suck on and play with.

have you ever tasted willy

whoa! I think you're a bellend!

Fuck
>Hello,
>At Amazon we take your security and privacy very seriously. As part of our routine monitoring, we discovered a list of email addresses and passwords posted online. While the list was not Amazon-related, we know that many customers reuse their passwords on multiple websites. Since we believe your email addresses and passwords were on the list, we have assigned a temporary password to your Amazon.com account out of an abundance of caution.

>Girl contacted me first, and asked me out on Tinder

Whey lads. Whey. Reckon I've made it.

Just had a fairly mediocre kebab, lads.

Fuck off Milo

bit gay

The only time I had that happen the girl was an utter beast

no

What's the name of the song?

That's always really upsetting. Did you order from a new place?

alright little miss fucking muffet lol

disagree

now theres a business idea

so i'll become a martyr too? yes ah i see

ooooo also lads i finally found the hot peppers used by the kebab lads. snacking on them as we speak wahhheeeeeyyyy too turnt

Bit fucking bent

candy boy by tren-D

I've had it happen twice now. First was a whale with deceptive pictures, was so disappointing when we met.

But this girl seems okay looking and has a full body pic or two showing she's not overweight.

>Loads of middle-aged men wanting my arse on grindr
Not sure how to feel about this

aw this is so sad
imagine if /brit/ died
id cry ngl

post your best dabs /brit/

nah

feminine penises are just an odd fetish

Found the butthurt roastie

Thanks mate, love you

remember lads

either victory or shahadah

did you do any work throughout the year for it then just right it up at the end?

FONT

if you want to be a martyr then you need a cause :\

What's your opinion of middle-aged penis?

why is v4 dying?

Can't make fun of us for our internet anymore.

Sexy

then get to work you lazy git

Synapses roaring
youtu.be/jSOrdj6DTnE

love you too xx

is this supposed to be impressive?

mine is 10mbps

mine is less than a tenth of that

my cause is not getting up for a wee so i can listen to 'sic, watch 'flix, eat 'ices and browse the 'chon instead

lack of interest i think

>He's proud of this average speed connection
O dare. How many dollarydoos is that running you Bruce

check the execution

does anybody have a secret oneitis? i have a gf but ive secretly fallen for this 10/10 qt at my uni that i've never spoken to and dont know her name

quite strange tbf

Go to bed young man

>tfw no THICC combo pack gf

>quads

BITCH DAB YUHH

>(1.68 MB, 3000x1514)
Shan't be opening this today

Some weird 50 year old tried to hit on me in the bread isle of morrisons once. Started trying to talk to me about bread, saying the bread I picked up was good bread...

No shit, mate. Wouldn't buy it if it was crap.

So then I walk to the checkouts and he follows, he keeps trying to talk to me. Asks me what I like to do in town.. I just give one word answers to all his questions.

He says he 'likes to disco'. I'm not sure if that's some weird gay code for bum, or if he literally just likes disco music.

He tells me he was up to 1am discoing last night.

livejournal.com

...

Don't get this meme

cant cope

Did you suck him off or what?

first day on Cred Forums?

odds play vidya
evens shitpost all night
zero go to bed RIGHT NOW

best girl

Gotta go to the supermarket to pick up some stuff for my sore throat.

Any suggestions? It's fucking shite. Might be tonsilitis.

>meme

No, just on par with other countries now.
I've just started a new internet plan and it's only just now kicked in, my speed is actually meant to reach 100 mbps but I imagine that won't be all the time.

No

Yes

the default model is perfectly fine

>heterochromia
literally all me

mentholated bronchial balsam

im a homochrome

love sniffing me finger desu specially after a cheeky bum scratch

Max strength Sudafed

new throat

had a sore throat last night, had 2 cuppas of green tea with a bit of honey in them and i woke up feeling fine today lad x

pics

I'm a homochromophile

I am sexually attracted to people who's eyes are the same colour

Heterochromes stay away

cornetto

...

Yeah, I just picked a random one on the way home.
Bland, limp salad, sauces from a bottle, and none of those pickled peppers.

Don't want to overdose lad

>mentholated bronchial balsam

Doesn't look like sainsburys stock it :(

>thought dad bought pre cooked chicken
>put it in the frying pan to warm it up
>take a bite
>full of blood in the centre

homochromonormaronies OUT

im a homonymous hemianopsia

how the fuck could you not tell

cant actually work out what the story of this comic is
help anyone?

>he has his chicken well-done
Christ...

Wut. How is that possible? Raw chicken looks very different.

He bought similar ones last week which were ready to eat

did the fact that it was pink and juicy not give it away?

i actually hope you get salmonella so you cant spread your genes

Replace Islam with Christianity

its saying that Christianity is a semetic religion and nothing to do with white people or europe

its basically pro-paganism

not sure if ive ever met a jew 2bh

in 2083 we will be annexed by Mauritania

me: 6 down, 0.3 up

liked this op

It was covered in piri piri sauce so it looks already cooked

england

areet ta, the meme arrows threw me off, couldnt tell if they were sarcastic or not

i shall introduce them individually to mauriPAINia before that happens

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3811237/Man-arrested-double-stabbing-Cardiff.html

this guy is literally the british elliot rodgers

he killed this lass and her bf because she rejected him and he resented her

right

gay

no
it's only green/brown
nothing exciting

>Heterochromes stay away
reported this post for discrimination

social anxiety is getting really bad lads :(

Just gone and done a new

Saw some really frustrating road rage earlier. Woman was fucking tailgating me like a cunt, and then we hit traffic. She let a little space open between us (finally) and a van tried to get into it. As soon as it indicated, she sped up almost causing a crash.

I let the van driver in front of me just to piss her off.

30 seconds later, she did the same thing again with a huge pick up truck. He laid on his horn, then again I let him in front of me for the bants.

She undertook me while doing the wanker sign then her and the pick up were exchanging hand signs and swear words while they both swerved into each other now and again. Was fucking mental.

Then she ran a red on a light with a camera. It was only just, unfortunately. So I think she might not have got flashed. I tried to look out for it.

Got it on my dashcam but can't find the adapter to download the video.

What a nutter.

...

...

RIP m8

you're gonna get salmonella poisoning

Mine has been too. Can barely function at work lol

Reminder that you will NEVER be able to save the bottom left picture

I think this is shopped

>Can barely function at work
fuck off you dont have social anxiety